We Ruin Easily
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Summary: If only love was simple enough that pain didn't come with it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl.
AN: This was written for the challenge at Gossip Girl 100. The prompt was 'haunted.'
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Red lips touch the rim of a martini glass. Her lips grow into a smile. It's almost as if she's convincing herself that family members are a fine replacement for the real thing.
A smirk falls upon his lips. The likeness is almost uncanny; she's convinced that it's fine. No feelings. No regrets.
She drinks until a thick layer of lipstick is smattered on her glass. Poisoning her mind. Lips touching his. Looking for sweet ecstasy; finding bitter desperation.
He's just as good of a fuck.
No feelings. Too empty.
No regrets. No room for any.
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Eyes wide open; his footsteps walking out of the door.
Alone. More than she's ever been. Wrapping her blanket around her naked body, burrowing her face in her pillow.
Resisting the urge to cry, and wondering when it got so painful and complicated.
Remembering soft notes. Fingers slamming against the keys of a piano.
Love songs. The magical ones that his nephew would play for her. All hauntingly beautiful.
Kisses through smiles.
Holding her for the rest of the night.
Long nights were for lovers. All songs were written that way.
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A new year. Sun rises, eyes still open.
Mistakes were made. They weren't going to be made again.
Light is filtering in. But she sees only dark.
Love has forced her to choose darkness.
Rays burning her skin; light is calling her back, asking her to forget love. Love is hurt. Hurt is pain. Pain is regret.
She's begging for light, screaming its name through the silence.
Love and light. They are enemies now.
Her new year's resolution:
Stand still, smile, look pretty. Love no one.
Love kills. Makes death all the more painful.
And she just wants to live.
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fin