Passing On

by Servant of Anubis

When a person dies, their heart is weighed on the Scales against the feather of Ma'at. If the heart is too heavy, the deceased is deemed too corrupt to enter the afterlife, and was devoured by a monster. This might explain why Bakura avoids death.

Tendershipping implied towards the end; don't like, don't read, etc.

Another YGO fanfic (I'll say it now: I wish I made money from this.) In this fic, especially towards the beginning, I use a lot of ancient Egyptian terms that a reader might not be familiar with. Most of them one can figure out while reading, but I'll note them here to make things easier.

khat- physical body
Per-a'a- Pharaoh
Yinepu- Anubis
Nisut- another title for Pharaoh, referencing the divine soul of Heru (Horus) that he carried within
Netjer/u- the Names of the gods (so to speak), both singular and plural
Djehuty- Thoth
Wesir- Osiris

The rest I think are pretty self-explanatory. Oh, ahou is Japanese for fool... Some of the formal incantations and responses were taken from the Book of Coming Forth By Day (obviously, don't own that or the translation I'm using). Anyways, read on.

--

It seems only fitting that I died in the village where I was born. It seems even more fitting that I died in the shrine where the Items were made from the slaughter of my parents and villagers.

I stood next to my body, looking at it in mild fascination, the dribbles of blood coming from my mouth, the way my eyes stared at nothing, glazed over in death. I had felt the pain as the last of my heka faded, as Diabound writhed and shrieked in its last moments, as my ka weakened, so I must be dead. Of course, my ka hadn't been destroyed; otherwise I couldn't have been standing here. But my khat was definitely dead.

I turned my attention to the priests standing across the pillared room. They were all badly hurt, but none had died, to my displeasure. And Per-a'a-

I gasped aloud at the sight. Per-a'a was stretched out on the floor, supported by Seth, who was kneeling beside him, concerned. But kneeling on Per-a'a's other side, was Yinepu. Seth seemed oblivious to the Netjer, who tenderly stroked the god-child's face, His jackal ears pointed attentively forward. His skin was as black as the Shadows itself, His gold armbands and collar sparkling in the guttering torchlight, and the very air around Him seemed to emit a dark gleam, as if He was shining with a light that was not light, yet was light.

As stunned as I was, fierce hope leapt within me. If the Per-a'a had died, then I could care less that I had died as well. The Akhu of my village could find peace, their haunting voices would no longer torment me during my waking moments as well as my slumber; I, the only survivor of the massacre and thus the one they both needed and hated.

Yet the Nisut stirred and opened his eyes to smile wearily up at the comforting guardians, both of whom I was certain he could clearly see. Disappointment slumped my shoulders. Yinepu softly touched the tri-colored hair, a visible blessing from three Netjeru the Per-a'a would bare his entire life, and stood up, still watching him lovingly. Then Yinepu turned His eyes to me.

Fear struck me so hard I took an involuntary step back. In the instant my gaze locked with His, I realized that my fearless words about how I didn't care that I robbed tombs, that I killed, that I lied, cheated, blasphemed, and countless other acts, were just that: talk. I stood before Yinepu, guardian of the dead, the Foremost of the Westerns, the Opener of the Way, the Chief of the Necropolis, the Walker of the Two Ways, He Who is Upon His Mountain, the Prince of the Court of Justice in the Hall of Judgment. I stood before Yinepu; I, who pillaged the tombs that were His to protect, who smashed His image because I couldn't stand to have His watchful gaze on me while I worked, who ripped away the linens to find the amulets underneath, who was pronounced Nameless by the priests for my sacrilegious acts, who tried to kill the Per-a'a, Nisut, Ra and Heru on earth. I stood before Yinepu, and I was so completely damned.

I panicked. I did what I did best, what I had first learned as a child and what I had relied on every day of my life: I fled. I practically threw myself at the Ring, the one that seemed most corrupted, using every last shred of strength I could find to bind my ka, my spirit, to its dark energy. As my consciousness faded, I thought I could sense Yinepu; he shook his head sadly and turned away. A feeling of safety settled over me as the chilling Shadows wrapped hungrily around my ka.

--

Eventually the Ring found its way to my reincarnation, and I lived that part of my life. I tried desperately to finish what I had started thousands of years before, to no avail. And before I knew it, I found myself truly dead once again, not merely banished to the Shadows to return. I was not destroyed as I thought would happen, for how many times can one died and get away with it? But I knew that this time was my last.

I stood once again in Per-a'a's tomb, having been defeated by the Nisut's present self, much to my surprise. The little brat had gotten stronger, and his powers probably matched the Nisut's now. My present self was lying unconscious at my feet. I no longer resembled him; once again just a ka, separated from the Ring and him, I had my dark skin and old looks again. He would wake up soon enough, I supposed, and would probably follow Yugi and the others. His face was peaceful in his slumber, and not for the first time was I reminded of those angels I had heard about. Oddly enough, this thought didn't bring about the strong desire to harm him like it usually did. I just felt tired, actually.

A presence filled the room and I looked up from the boy to see Yinepu standing there, watching me. I had been wondering if He was going to come, since so few call His name now and days. He still looked as I remembered.

He waited patiently and I realized that he expected me to come to him. For a second I considered walking away, but I dismissed the idea. I stepped over Ryou's body and slowly walked to Him, stopping about a foot away and looking up into His coal black eyes in silence. I was not going to fall to the ground before Him and beg for my ba, my soul. I was not going to suck up to Him by rattling off praises and titles and honey-drenched words. I felt exhausted, and beyond caring. This is who I was, take it or leave it.

Wordlessly, Yinepu held out His hand. I gave Ryou one last glance, then took His hand and let Him lead me where He would.

We walked out of that time, to an in between that was like the Shadows yet wasn't, dark and light in the same moment. Once there Yinepu released my hand and I followed behind Him. Nothing was said, we just walked on. It felt like we weren't going anywhere, but then a gate appeared in the distance. Well, who knew? The priests were right.

Once we reached the gate Yinepu stopped and gestured for me to proceed. Cautiously I walked forward. I had grown up in a village that once built tombs, so I was educated, unlike most of Kemet; I had read the Book of Coming Forth by Day, and although I was fairly certain that most of the chapters would do me no good at this point, a few might still prove useful. This was the first gate, and guarding it was a woman with a bird's head, a broom of golden hay clutched in her hand. Unless I spoke properly, I would not be permitted to pass, and would probably wind up severely injured, if not devoured on the spot.

"Mistress of trembling, lofty of enclosure wall," I began, wondering if I would really remember the correct words after all these years. "Chieftainess and Mistress of Destruction, the one who proclaims words which repel storms, the one who rescues the plundered one who has arrived."

Nothing happened.

Then the guardian slowly stood to the side, and the gate opened. Yinepu stepped up beside me.

"Terror," He named the woman, His voice as deep as the Shadows, as approving as a father.

I passed by all twenty-one gates this way, meeting each guardian and dredging up the knowledge from long buried memories with Yinepu as a witness. Finally He led me through an archway into the Hall of Judgment.

In the center of the room was a large scale, greater than any I had ever seen, and seated around the room were the Netjeru of the Tribunal in all Their glory. Djehuty stood ready with reed and papyrus to record the results and- Horror! Ammit, that twisted monster, Devourer of Souls, with the head of a crocodile, fore legs of a leopard, and hind legs of a hippo, paced eagerly behind Him. I dug my heels into the ground, refusing to take another step forward as terror seized me.

Yinepu stopped and looked at me expectantly. I just shook my head, not trusting myself to speak, unable to tear my eyes away from the horrendous creature that prowled about Djehuty's feet.

"Why do you fear?"

There was no way I was going to pass judgment. My heart was going to drop through the stone floor, it would be that heavy. I shook my head again, throat tight.

"A thought formed in your heart is already written there," Yinepu said, stepped between myself and my view of Ammit.

"No secret is lost to You, No voice escapes Your ears though whispered, No action escapes Your eyes though hidden, No thought is made that You will not see at last, Recorded in my very Heart which will lay upon the Scales," I muttered the lines miserably as I dropped my gaze to the ground, knowing the truth of those words.

"Your time is not yet come."

"What?" I looked up again, startled. Was I going to be returned to the Ring?

"A Heart not present cannot be weighed. A ka has come before the tribunal, but the ba lingers. Until both are before the Scales, the Weighing cannot take place," Yinepu explained. I saw other Netjer nod in agreement, but I didn't understand.

Yinepu spoke softer now, addressing only me. "You could not face Me when we met before; you ran from your fate, sealing your ka away. In your haste you abandoned your ba, leaving Me no choice but to send your ba to the moral realm once more. The two cannot be separated for long, and I knew you would find each other. But now your ka is before the Scales, having left your ba again. So you must wait."

"I am complete unto myself," I protested, confused. "What of me is left behind?"

Yinepu passed His hand over my eyes and I saw Ryou, sitting on a plane back to Domino, forlorn and tired. The vision passed as quickly as it came.

"He is my ba? I thought he was his own person," I murmured wonderingly.

"You are separate and connected. One yet two, unique yet the same, two sides of a coin," He said. I didn't bother asking what He meant. "So, you must wait."

I must wait; wait until what? But I knew.

"Until he dies," I whispered. Yinepu nodded solemnly.

"You may see what happens to your ba," He told me as He passed His hand over my eyes again. This time, I felt myself collapse into sleep as Ryou swam into view.

--

Ryou returned to Domino, without the Ring. He continued to live in his apartment, and I watched helplessly as he cried at night, sobbing my name. He was lonely, empty, and didn't know what to do with himself. He discovered the carvings I had left hidden under the bed; he cried harder and set them up around his apartment. Slowly the immense grief faded, over the span of several years, leaving him with the deep ache of loss that never seemed to release him; it haunted his smile, his eyes, his laughter, which sounded less often than before.

He finished high school and went to an art college to study painting and carving, with a minor in ancient history. He was still a good student, getting good grades. He made a few casual acquaintances, and turned down many an offering to go out with someone, some girls, some boys. He always answered the same: my heart is with someone else. He worked a part time job as a side at a bookstore that didn't mind his long white hair. People still mistook him for a girl, even when he graduated from college. He painted historical scenes and took commissions, and illustrated a few children's books. He never moved out of the apartment we once shared.

Then one day Marik returned. Ryou invited the Tomb Keeper to stay with him, and soon Marik was living with him. And gradually Marik came to have feelings for Ryou, who cried when Marik confessed and apologized, saying that he couldn't, he was so sorry, but he couldn't betray me. Marik didn't push the matter but Ryou was practically starving from lack of love. After a time he came to care deeply for Marik, although he explained that he would never stop loving me. And then Marik saved Ryou from himself by helping him move forward, telling Ryou that he would be satisfied with even a piece of Ryou's love; he wouldn't try to oust my memory. Ryou began to smile again, small and cautious. Laughter returned shortly after. They started to share a bed, which amazingly didn't bother me. Ryou needed to be loved.

While climbing out of the shower one night Marik spotted an asymmetrical dark mark on the pristine white of Ryou's skin, just above the shoulder blade. At first he thought it was paint, but then he realized that it was the skin. He told Ryou that he had a birthmark now, and Ryou was alarmed, reminding the Egyptian that, as an albino, he couldn't get birthmarks. Marik said Ryou was over-reacting when he asked him to measure it, just in case. A few months later it was larger and Ryou went to the doctor's, just in case. My present self had contracted skin cancer.

He went in for treatment and the discoloration was removed. And for a time Ryou was fine. Until it happened again. This time Ryou was told that the cancer had spread. Marik found himself taking Ryou to the hospital for chemotherapy, holding his hair back as he threw up, and later holding Ryou as the sickly boy ran a hand through his hair and watched the snowy strands drift to the floor en masse. It spread, finding his lungs; I watched as a mask was fitted over his mouth to help him breath. After fighting with it for three years, skin cancer killed him at the age of fourty-one.

--

I stirred, opening my eyes slowly as the Hall of Two Truths swam into view. I sat up and saw Yinepu walking towards the archway. I knew instantly what He was doing.

"Wait!" I scrambled to my feet, unsteady after so many years of sleep. "Please wait!"

The jackal-headed Netjer stopped and turned to me as I ran over. "He doesn't know the words!" I cried, tears streaming down my face. He'd never make it! "He doesn't know, please let me help him!" I collapsed to my knees, pleas and prayers falling from my lips like rain. What had come over me? "You who have waited in the darkness and in the light, who knows no fear- Guide of the Dead, Guardian of Souls! In his time of need, please! Bring light to he who stands in darkness; illuminate his path that he might understand! Yinepu, please, guiding light and faithful companion, turn not Your face from him!"

Yinepu crouched in front of me, silencing me with a single finger to His lips. "If you are afraid, reach out into the darkness. Feel it gather around your hand; feel Me take your hand in Mine. I will remove you from your fear." He smiled gently, then stood and left the hall.

I'm not sure how long it took me to get off the ground, sniffing stubbornly and defiantly wiping away the tears. It seemed to take an eternity, but Yinepu returned. With him was my present self, Ryou, looking curious and confused.

I didn't run to him, I walked. And I didn't embrace him, I simply beheld him. My Ryou no longer looked forty years old and ailing, but closer to his twenties. I supposed that one's ka always resembled how one looked in his prime. My chest felt so full I thought it would burst, but I couldn't say what it was full of. After staring at each other in silence for a minute or so, I managed to find my tongue and say something.

"You're late, ahou." I smiled weakly.

He grinned sheepishly, ducking his head a tad. "I missed you," was all he replied.

"I know." And then I embraced him, and he cried into my shoulder and I let him; I was surprised to find myself crying too. I felt whole again.

"I'm sorry I left," I choked out.

"It's okay. You couldn't help it." He forgave years of suffering in an instant. Only my Ryou.

I broke away at last and saw Yinepu watching us. And then I remembered that my heart would be weighed now, and my good feelings shattered into nothing as the bursting sensation in my chest deflated with a sigh.

I held Ryou's hand protectively (protectively? Since when?) as Yinepu came forward.

"Announce your innocence to the Judges," He pronounced, directing us to step forward, closer to the scales, and closer to Ammit, who was again prowling agitated by Djehuty's feet. I felt a sudden flare within me, struggling against the unfairness of it.

"Ryou shouldn't have to do this," I said obstinately, my old fierceness resurfacing in an odd way. I knew I was screwed, but I desperately wanted to see Ryou make it. I wanted him spared from sharing my fate.

"Bakura, don't fight with the Netjer," Ryou whispered, eyeing Sehkmet fearfully.

"One has come before the Tribunal, and he must be judged," Yinepu stated. His tone signaled that there was no room for discussion.

I huffed and turned to Ryou. "Do you know the Declaration of Innocence?" It was odd, speaking to him face to face, using voices and words to communicate.

He shook his head. "I know of it, but I don't know the words."

I cautiously tested the link we shared, and was pleased to find it holding, although it was stretched taunt, like a thread ready to snap.

You can access my memories the same way I could with yours I told him. If this surprised him he didn't show it. Recite it with me

I sent a wave of (faked) confidence through our link as we approached the Scales. I skipped the plea for an honest heart, since at this point I was pretty sure that I would be better off if my heart lied. Taking a breath, I started reciting the Declaration of Innocence, Ryou following my lead a half a beat behind. After a moment, we spoke in unison.

"O Wide-strider who came forth from Inun, I have not done wrong. O Fire-embracer who came forth from Kheraha, I have not robbed." And so on, we listed off the lines: I have not told lies, have not stolen food, have not been sullen, have not gossiped, have not committed adultery, have not disputed the Per-a'a, have not done evil. A growing feeling of dread settled in my stomach as the list grew, most of them things I was completely guilty of. Eyes glued to the Scales, I waited for Yinepu to release them and damn me, no, us! Why us?!

The declaration ended. I heard a fearful, strangled breath from Ryou as my strength slipped and the full force of my anxiety slammed through the link. My eyes fluttered shut, my grip tightening painfully on Ryou's hand as I steeled myself for what was coming. Ryou froze, too frightened to move. I pitied him. All he went through, only to receive this as his final reward, thanks to me. Guiltiness mingled with my growing panic.

Silence, then murmurs. I forced myself to look. I would watch true Death approach me; I would cower no longer.

The Scales were just settling, and they were even. Even! Was there a mistake? But the Majesty of Yinepu would not err on such a matter as this. What was going on? Yinepu knelt beside the Scales, gauging the level, then He stood and backed away.

"Hear this word of very truth!" Yinepu thundered suddenly; Ryou and I both jumped. "I have judged the heart of the deceased, and his soul stands as a witness for him." The Jackel looked at Ryou, who shrank behind me. "His deeds are righteous in the great balance, and no sin has been found in him."

Djehuty nodded solemnly, recording everything. "This utterance of yours is true. The vindicated Wesir Bakura is straightforward, he has no sin, there is no accusation against him before us, Ammit shall not be permitted to have power over him."

I didn't hear anything else, although He continued speaking. I collapsed, partially dragging Ryou to the floor as I fell. Vindicated? The Wersir Bakura? The Justified? All titles I had given up hope for long ago. This couldn't be real. I was spared? But how?!

Yinepu was before me, waiting as Ryou tugged me to my feet. I stood clumsily, staring in shock at the Scales.

"How?" I managed to choke out, hoarse. "How?"

Yinepu smiled softly, almost amused. "Your ba is very light," He said gently, looking at Ryou with kind eyes. "Enough to balance out your dark ka."

What? Oh… 'One' has come before the Scales; the soul stands witness for him. Ryou had never committed any serious infraction from the Declaration. He was pure. And his purity had saved us both.

"Ryou," I breathed. I felt surprise through our link as we both were struck silent by this revelation. I gazed at him mutely, unable to find words for my feelings, hoping he could sense them; I would never be able to repay him.

"I love you," he whispered, hope and desire and longing all tangled up in his eyes.

A smile twitched into being. "I love you too," I answered, honestly.

"Come," Yinepu said, startling us. His grin was broader this time. "I will present you to the Lord of Amenti, the Good King Wesir."

Ryou and I nodded in unison. Ryou cautiously slipped his hand in mine, and I smiled at him. Together, we followed Yinepu to meet Wesir and live the rest of our existence.

--

So, I'm not sure whether an albino can actually get one of those dark marks that heralds skin cancer; because of their lack of melanin, probably not. However, it would make diagnosing skin cancer ridiculously hard, so I fudged that a little bit. Heh...

What did you think? Let me know!