Concrete Sky

By: Allison

E-mail: GeckoGal21@lycos.com

Archive: Beautiful Addictions, The Graveyard, Working Love Archive, and Shipperworld. All others please ask.

Rated: PG

Category: Angst/Romance

Spoilers: Lady Heather's Box, A Little Murder, Accused is Entitled

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the characters of CSI, they are owned by CBS and Anthony Zuiker. The song "Concrete Sky" is written and sung by Beth Orton and features Ryan Adams.

Summary:  See you've got your own way of moving, and you know you could save me.

A/N: Thanks to Lauri for reading the first parts of this and assuring me it was good. And to Manda for betaing it, and being a great friend.  To my Graveshift groupies…you know you rock. This fic just sort of came out left field on Friday, let's call it my 'getting into my first choice college' celebratory fic…well I'm celebrating anyway…that event inspired me, so here this is. Enjoy.

Faith has a good side,

still everyone she ever loved,

they all turned bad.

Breathing in the cool night air, and taking a sip of her coffee, Catherine closed her eyes and let the breeze tickle her face. It was clean and refreshing, and she couldn't help but let it take her back to the memories of nights similar to this one, during her youth, where she'd lay out on the cool Montana grass and stare at the stars. She remembered them being so much clearer there, sparkling so bright that she was almost sure that they were shining just for her. She rarely ever saw them here. The smog and the lights from the Vegas strip blocking out their radiance.

But tonight she saw them, sparkling clear as day, as she sat thinking, recalling the day, on her front porch.

Constance his own way of breathing,

and you know you couldn't

will him to survive.

Couldn't will him if you tried.

His eyes flashed in front of her face, the memory of the sorrow in them as she brushed his sympathy off, came rushing back. Catherine cursed herself for feigning strength in front of him. It had been all she could do not to run to him, collapse into his arms, and cry until pain went away.

It had always been this way, both of them holding back, as if some unspeakable force kept them from each other like fighters in a brawl. Except it was passion, not hatred that passed between them.  A touch here, a hand on her back there, up until recently Catherine had always felt the unexplainable connection between them.

And there's a concrete sky falling from the trees again and I know now why

It wasn't until after the Haviland case, and her attack, that she noticed there was distance growing between them. Their friendship cooling off to a relationship of mere professional courtesy. 

It's not coming around to soon.

How he always acted as if there wasn't anything wrong. How when they passed each other in the hall, they barely acknowledged the others presence. As if somehow their connection was now missing a link.

It's harder than a heartbreak too.

After her attack, she'd told Warrick she was scared, and he'd held her. He'd wrapped his massive arms around her in an attempt to help her feel safe. But she never did. She had wanted, no, she had needed Grissom, but he was nowhere to be found. So she had let Warrick be his substitute. But no matter how hard she tried to be okay, to let Warrick soothe her worry, she knew only Grissom could do that.

He never did, and she was left feeling frightened. Terrified.  It never left her. She was still scared.

Scared of being alone, of raising Lindsey by herself, scared that she'd just brushed Grissom off, when he had finally had wanted to talk with her, and that they'd never get things back to normal.

I've seen your good side but I still don't know just what it is

that you might want.

See you've got your own way of moving,

and you know you could save me.

As the wind picked up again, Catherine pulled her light jacket tighter around her slight frame. The steam from her cup rose into the air, and she blew across the top of it before taking another sip; resisting the urge to let the tears fall once again. Though she doubted they would have anyway.

She'd wasted too many tears on Eddie, and not nearly enough of them on Grissom, the one person who truly cared for her. He had been there for everything. Every broken bone, every passed exam, every jubilant moment, he had been by her side.

Save my soul

I'll save some for you.

 And what had Eddie done? Knocked her around, and thrown up on her shoes as he stumbled in to the house in a drunken stupor. How did she have so many tears, so many emotions in her, for a man who treated her as if she were a piece of trash so easily thrown away?

Save my soul

I feel like I'm falling.

No, there were no more tears left for Eddie Willows. And there never would be. Catherine had lived to long with that pain. She knew, as she set the mug down next to her, that it was time for it to end. Time to let all of it go.

And there's a concrete sky, falling from the trees again.

And you know now why, it's not coming round to soon

It's harder than a heartbreak too.

It's tough enough what love will do.

And as she let go of all the horrible memories that were her past, she let her mind collect the pleasant ones. The day she had met Grissom, solving her first case, and having Lindsey were among the best of her recollections. She couldn't help but let a faint smile play across her sad features.

"Is that Catherine Willows I see, smiling?" a voice called quietly from the shadows.

So much time gets lost in my mind but I know now what I must rely on

it's a sound,

and forgetting aint the worst thing

"Grissom? Is that you?" she asked, squinting out into the darkness.

"Hey, Cath."

"You didn't have to come."

"I know….but I thought you might need me."

It was then that he walked out of the shadows and into the light, and Catherine could see the worry etched on his face, the weary look in his eyes. He didn't even give her time to get up off of the porch before he was standing in front of her, and she scooted over allowing him room on the step next to her.

"I do…I do need you Gil. I always have."

I've been out walking, don't do too much talking.

wouldn't take to much time,

wouldn't take all of your time,

cuz it's as precious as mine.

"I'm sorry…for brushing you off…Gil, I'm so sorry," she started, unable to gaze at his deeply penetrating eyes.

"Shh. it's okay. It hurt, but I understand," he said gently brushing his thumb against her cheek. "I was just…worried. That's all…it doesn't matter now anyway. I didn't come here for that." He replied, his eyes locking with hers.

"Then why did you come?" Catherine asked, her eyes sparkling in the starlight. Hints of blue dancing around like the light bouncing off of the bluest sapphire. Any trace of sadness she had held in her thoughts, or on her face was gone. Her features filled with wonder, and joy as he slid his arms around her waist.

"It's something that I have waited fifteen years for Catherine."

"Can't you just—"

But she didn't have time to finish her sentence as his lips touched hers, so gentle and loving that it sent shivers throughout her body.

And there's a concrete sky, falling from the trees again.

And I know now why, it's not coming round to soon

It's harder than a heartbreak too.

It's tough enough what love will do.

"Gil…." she mumbled into his lips moments later, rational returning to her thoughts.

"Yea…?" there's lightness, a sense of relief, to his voice as they break apart, and she saw the passion in his eyes.

" I don't want it like this. We need to talk…please? I want to know what's been on your mind. It'll never work if we start it like this."

For a moment, there was nothing but silence, as the gears in his mind moved rapidly, methodically thinking over his answer. "It's a beautiful night,"

"The stars, they're amazing. I've never seen them so bright. But you're avoiding the question."

"Where's Lindsey?"

"At the neighbors…she heard, about eddie…offered to take her…it's a sleepover. Why?" She replied sighing heavily.

"Cath," he grabbed her hand and pulled her upward entwining his fingers in hers, caressing the soft skin. "Let's walk."

"And you'll tell me what's been going on?" she asked her eyebrows arching upward, in expectation.

"Everything."

Catherine smiled to herself as they walked down the driveway. She lay her head on his shoulder and listened to him tell her about the past few months he'd spent practically without her. How he had missed her. How he had needed her, and at the time,  hadn't even known it.

She knew as they faded into the night, that she'd finally come home. That maybe the stars were finally shining bright, just for her. The stars that danced in his eyes as he looked lovingly into hers. The only ones that mattered.

And you're as precious as mine.

you're as precious as mine.

The end.