Author's Note: I hate Valentine's Day. I really do. V-Day is probably one of the more useless holidays Hallmark graced us with, ranking somewhere between Thumbtack Appreciation Day and Hug a Mosquito Day...but I just couldn't resist writing this. Call me a hypocrite or what have you, but my muse was active after insidiously abandoning me on my other fanfic & AP English conquests. Crazy muse @_@ Oh yeah and I was inspired by Darkeye's You Make Me...go read it one of these days it kicks ass.

Ch. 1 - OOOO SHINY PINK THINGS!!

"Ahhhhh nothing like kicking back and cracking through a few firewalls, eh, Uprio-chan?" Nene giggled as she leaned her chair back in what the ADP tried to pass off as her cubicle. Grinning, she tied a cute little red ribbon around the cute little stuffed-weasel-cum-hardware's neck, ignoring the fact that red just totally clashed with its pallid fur tone. "We have to get you into the spirit, too, Uprio-chan! Otherwise you wouldn't match the decor!" she whispered as if the toy was able to comprehend human speech patterns.

"Sheesh no wonder the taxpayers are complaining - if they knew our expert hackers were wasting their time with stuffed animals we'd be in the hole for sure," an incredibly dead sexy [author's note: both versions!!] voice muttered above the hacker's head. Somewhere, a fangirl was nosebleeding. Nene didn't have to look up to know that the day's bickering with her surrogate niisan had begun right smack dab on schedule, unlike the rest of the department.

Poking her tongue out ever so slightly, Nene retorted with a scathing reply which naturally took the recommended two to three minutes to fully register. With a dejected sigh, Leon muttered cuss words into his Colombo Blend while the younger and considerably more witty officer enjoyed a laugh at his expense.

After he recovered from his bruised ego, Leon finally became aware of some rather unusual decorations scattered about Nene's allotted workspace. "Hey, what the hell is this?" he interrogated, poking a silly-looking paper lantern covered in teeny pastel-hued hearts and cupids. "Some kind of testimony to your insanity or what? Oops..." He sweatdropped as one gloved hand ripped through the thin crepe paper barrier. Whistling as if the incident had never occurred, he slid it to the floor and kicked in into some poor overworked underling's cubicle.

"No, silly Leon-peon! It's for Valentine's Day!! And by the way you owe me ¥500 - those lanterns aren't free you know!" Nene beamed as a deep crimson blush spread its way over Leon's face. "Oh, here have this it'll make you calm down. Heh heh!" She ripped one of the sparkly hearts off the walls and handed it too him, knowing full well that it's amazing luminescent powers were too strong for Leon's unconquerably small amusement barrier.

"SUGOIYO!!!!! A SHINY PINK THING!!!!!!" Flinging his coffee in the air (which landed in Daley's freshly gelled coif, staining it a rather off shade of orangeish brown), the detective lowered himself to abject embarrassment as he sat for a while staring into its glimmering brilliance. It goes without saying that quite a few people stared as they trudged past, but at least it was one small oasis of entertainment in a day otherwise full of paperwork and snot-nosed kids. After the heart's hypnotic effects had grown minimal, Leon once again regained his...well not normality...more like homeostasis. "Valentine's Day, huh? Why would you waste your time on something like that?"

"Because I WANT to, Leon-pea! But of course you wouldn't know anything about it seeing as you never seem to have any fun. Yup, it's always work, work, work for you, Mr. McNyQuil."

"I KNOW WHAT VALENTINE'S DAY IS!!! AND DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY LAST NAME LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!!!" Leon yelled, inviting more stares from fellow officers as he let his temper get the best of him for the bazillionth time.

Somewhere during their endless morning ritual, Daley sauntered in to watch the usual excitement, nursing a styrofoam cup of joe with his usual smug bastard smile. "Heh heh heh if only I had a video camera..."

"Et Tu,, Daley? Dammit, you people never give me any credit!" Leon threw his well-sculpted arms into the air like a revivalist preacher.

"Really now?" Daley took a placid sip and added, "So what is St. Valentine's Day really, then?"

Totally forgetting everything his Irish Catholic grandma [author's note: McNichol is Irish and a Saint is an important Catholic institution - it's JUSTIFIED!] preached to him as a lad, Leon stood blankly and muttered some random mush he read off of cards, much to Daley's smug bastard amusement.

"You couldn't me more wrong, Leon-chan! St. Valentine's Day is...URK!!!" Daley's face turned an flattering shade of chartreuse as his considerably beefcakier partner attempted, with some success, to strangle the smug bastardness out of the smug bastard.

Quaking with rage and resembling some kind of raving maniac from an action flick, Leon muttered between clinched teeth, "I...know...what...it...IS!!!!!"

"I don't think it matters - why would Leon-peon be interested in a holiday dedicated to love and mushy stuff like that anyways?? He's too manly for something like that!!"

"I...I am not!!" He protested, the crimson blush returning once again to his ruggedly handsome features. "What about YOU, Nene?? It's not like we ever see guys throwing themselves at your feet to go out with you so I don't think you have any room to talk!"

"HA! Shows how much you know, Leon-peon-poo-chan! For your information, Mackey is kind enough to take me to a movie on Valentine's Day so NYAH!!" Nene pulled her eyelid down and made a face. "So, Leo, it looks like you're alllll alone on Friday!" Her face melted into an evil grin. "Unless you have a special someone in mind."

Opening his mouth to protest, Leon quickly clamped his mouth shut and looked pensive. "Umm...well..."

Nene and Daley burst into a harmonious duet, not waiting for the inevitable reply. "PRISS AND LEON-CHAN SITTIN' IN A TREE!!!! KAY-EYE-ESS-EYE-IN-GEE!!!!"

"Oh shut up the both of you!!! Uhh..do you think she's doing anything, Nene? Not that I care or anything, but uhhhh...."

Nene rolled her eyes, "I know where this is headed, all right! Fine, Señorita Leon, if you pay for that lantern you busted I'll take care of everything."

Attempting to hide his obvious excitement, Leon beamed almost as bright as the shiny paper hearts. He tore into his wallet and emptied more than the debted amount onto Nene's desk. Dashing off before he was late for patrol, he called over his shoulder, "THANK YOU SO MUCH NENE!! KEEP THE CHANGE YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!!!!"

Turning around to face her computer screen and get started on the day's work, a mischievous grin crossed Nene's face. "Oh, I shan't, Leon-chan. I shan't...heh heh..."