Pieces of our souls
Thousands of miles of empty space separate us, but that's not all it is, is it? I always knew, I think. . .every time I looked into your eyes, every time you looked at me, you were not looking at me, but THROUGH me. You touched my body, but it was never me you wanted to touch, was it? You always said you loved my hair, that it reminded you of fire, and all of the color that your life had always lacked. Now m'not so sure. I'm beginning ta think it reminds you of the blood that stains both of our hands.
Now I ain't one ta whine, so don't even try ta say I'm bein' weak or some shit like that. I know ya hate weakness, ya despise it, so I ain't gonna break down, I'm not gonna cry, or tell ya how I feel. It wouldn't do my any good anyway. Ya see. . .I figured somethin' out. While you were touchin' me, when you took my virginal body in your arms an' made me feel things I'd never felt before in m'life, It was never ME you had in your mind. It was HIM.
Ironic isn't it? Th'one you wanted an' couldn't have. . .the one whose name ya whispered in yer sleep? Isn't it ironic that his name means "the first song"? 'Cause he was always first in your eyes an' heart, no matter what I thought or said to ya. I gave you EVERYTHING, all of me, all this teenager was capable o'givin', an' it was never good enough. I wasn't HIM, I wasn't Genesis. . .just as Zack wasn't Angeal, for as much as ya tried ta make us substitutes for what was no longer yours. I think. . .maybe this was the best thing. This physical distance. It gives us both time ta reevaluate th'things we need, to maybe understand what it is that binds us.
Only thing I asked of ya, last night before ya took off for your duties, while I ran m'fingers through long strands that looked like molten quicksilver in between them, was for ya ta be careful. Even if your heart's not truly mine in th'way I'd want it ta be, I still care for ya. I still harbor wishes for yer safety, 'cause despite how much th'realizations I've come to hurt, I'd never wish you ill. . .never, not in a million years.
Nibelheim. Goddess, right now even th'name itself strikes fear into m'heart in a way I don't understand. Rude thinks m'crazy for even givin' a shit, and hey, maybe I am. But you, that perfect warrior, you managed ta touch a parta me that no one else ever has. I hope I have for you, too, but somehow I doubt it. . .not that it matters.
As the text flashed across the screen of his mobile, one name, and three capital letters, the color drained from the young Turk's face, before Reno's jaw firmed, and he went back to his work. "Sephiroth K.I.A." That one simple phrase had broken something inside of him that he'd not known was there, the gentle part that had still be honest and open. . .that text had destroyed it, beyond any hope of being repaired.
Now. . .all there was was the Turk.