Ch.1
Hello! This is my first fic about Charmed! But there are a couple of things that I need to warn you about this fic. I'm going to rate it PG 13, but if you think the rating needs to be higher than say so. IN this story there are going to be some jokes about gays and two of them get there powers switched and the powers revolve around well...gays. But I'm not saying gays are bad or anything. And there is going to be some stuff like Soap Operas and Jerry Springer, but it'll be funny, so don't worry about that. anyway, I hope you enjoy it!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed or any other trademark things mentioned in this story. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
"Go to sleep, you d@mn little ingrate!!" Piper hollered at her baby boy, Wyatt. Wyatt was screaming at the top of his lungs and he woulden't go to sleep. "Man, you want me to put a spell on you? A spell that'll do more than just put you to sleep!!" She said, as she attempted to jam the bottle down his throat. Phoebe walked up. "What are you DOING to that poor baby?" She asked. "It sounds like he's being murdered from down there!!" Piper looked up. "Hello, PHOEBE. Help me put this spawn of hell to sleep." She said. Phoebe looked at Wyatt. He was screaming and yelling and his face was turning purple. "Well, he's got no strings around anything..... theres not a bee anywhere... no evil anywhere... he got a crayon up his nose......" Phoebe said. "But otherwise, he looks fine." Then she realized what she had just said and yanked the crayon out of his nose. But he still kept crying. "Oh, I know!!" Piper exclaimed. "He wants some baby music to help him go to sleep!!" She turned the radio to this one song. It was the song 'It's Getting Hot in Herre.' Wyatt went RIGHT to sleep. "See? He just wanted a little music." said Phoebe. Piper wrapped Wyatt up in his Power of Three blanket and put him in the crib. Then they walked out of the attic. Leo was in the living room watching a video. Piper looked at the T.V. and saw that the movie had a bunch of scantily clad women dancing freakishly around a pole and some of them were doing the worm on a table. Leo was staring blankly at the video. "LEO!!" Piper hollered and she ran over. She pushed the stop button. "What the HELL is wrong with you? You've got a WIFE that lives here, you know!!" Piper griped. Leo got mad because she turned off his show. He was getting awfully tired of her nagging and doing things simply because she didn't like it. "Aw man, Piper it was just getting good!! One was about to take off her top!" Leo said. "And these women... D@MN! Theres this one that's to die for and she's got a bust size that's out of this world!!" Piper got really really mad. "What, you don't think I'M sexy?" She asked. Leo shrugged. "No." He said plainly. Piper got so mad that she did her little guestere and blew Leo up. He orbed right back in though. "B*tch!!" Leo said. He stormed into the kitchen. Then Piper saw that Phoebe was looking at a picture of something. "Phoebe? That had better not be a man or something! A STRIPPER man." Piper said. Phoebe shook her head and showed the picture to Piper. It was a picture of Cole. Piper's mouth dropped wide open. "PHOEBE!!" She screamed. Paige came into the front door and saw that Piper had a look of disbeleif on her face and that Phoebe was staring dreamily at a picture of something. "Picture." she said, and held out her hand. The picture dissipated from Phoebe's hand and formed in Paige's. Paige gaped when she saw it. "PHOEBE!! Are you together with him again?" She asked. Phoebe nodded, and Piper and Paige both got angry. "I'm gonna cast a spell on you!!" Paige said. Piper held up a hand to shut her up. Then, they heard Leo yell something from the attic. "Hey everybody, come here! Wyatt's singing his first song!!" Everybody ran up to the attic.
Leo pushed the play button on the little cassete player and it began to say,
"Now I lay me down to sleep
With the boy across the street
Wont my mommy be surprised
When my stomach starts to rise!!"
And Wyatt was waving his hands and making little noises. He liked the song. Piper gaped. "Leo! You woke him up!" She said. Then she began to cuss at him and things. "I just had the little brat to sleep!!" She opened up the Book of Shadows for a sleeping spell. But she coulden't find one. "Phoebe! Make me up a spell for sleeping for about 2 hours." Piper said. Now, Phoebe knew about Piper's little lecture on about every demon hunt they went on, and that was, 'NO CASTING SPELLS FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN.' So Phoebe refused. "There is no way I am making up a spell for personal gain. You tell me not to yourself every single time I even ask if I can do one little spell. So the answer is no." She said. Piper growled. "You'd BETTER make me a spell, or I'll blow your @$$ up." Piper said. Phoebe got to work on writing a spell for Piper. Then they heard the T.V switch on for no apparent reason. "What the heck! I TOLD the electrictian to make it stop doing that!" Paige said. "I'm gonna sue his-" She decided to follow Piper, Leo and Phoebe as they ran down the stairs with Wyatt. So she did. But as she began to go down she tripped down the stairs. "A llittle HELP?" She asked. But she noticed everyone was staring at the T.V with a surprised look on their faces. So she got up and looked at the T.V. It was zoomed in on a city under attack and people were falling dead. "Is that demonic?" She asked, as a huge powerball nailed some guy and dissipated him down to just a skeleton. "Gee, I don't know." Piper said. "DUH!!" Paige nodded. "I think we should like... go there, don't you?" She asked. But everyone was way ahead of her. "Phoebe, you stay here with Wyatt while me and Paige go and try to stop that demon from killing anymore innocents." Piper said, handing the baby to Phoebe. "Why do I hafta stay here with LEO always?" She whined. Piper was getting awfully tired of her. "Because your USELESS, that's why! Now come on, Paige. Orb us there." She said. Paige knew better than to tell Piper no or she'd get blown up so she orbed them there.
When they reached the city there was a bunch of people scattering around screaming. "Piper, freeze them before we get exposed dimwhit!!" Paige said. Piper did her little guestere and everyone in town was frozen. "Now where's the stupid demon?" Piper asked. "I wanna go home and do my nails!!" The demon showed up in front of them. "WOWZA!!" Paige said. "Can I have your number, hottie??!!" The demon stood there. "Hey, wait a minute, your supposed to be trying to kill me!! I'm the new source, you idiots!!" He said. They both just stared. "Too bad I'm already married." Piper said, gloomily. Paige began to fish out a little peice of paper to get the demon's number on, and Piper began to panic. "Paige!! We've GOTTA get Phoebe here!!" She said. "This guys the new source!!" The new source was very pleased to see that all three witches were not present and that he could easily crush Piper and Paige. He held his hand out with the palm up and threw fire at them. It hit them and sent Piper flying into a vegetable cart and Paige into a clothes line. "Piper, blow him up you moron!!" Paige said. Piper wasen't sure if it would work but she did her little guestere anyway. There was an explosion, and the demon looked stunned, but nothing happened. "Then... FREEZE him!!" Paige said. Piper tried that too. It didn't work either. Paige looked over and saw an athemae on the ground. "Athemae!!" She said, and it appeared in her hand. She then threw it at the source, who did the little fire teleport thingy to get away. Then he was gone. Piper pulled herself out of the vegetable cart. She had tomatoe goo and such all over her new clothes. "Aw man!!" She exclaimed. "Now I hafta go all the way back to TJ Max and get ANOTHER one of these outfits!!" Paige rolled her eyes and orbed them back to the manor.
"The new source?" Phoebe asked, once they arrived there. Piper nodded. "Yeah, and he ruined my clothes!" She hollered. Leo gaped. "See, this is what the world gets when the people there to protect them are GIRLS." He said. Piper thought about blowing him up or casting a permanent spell on him. "Gosh DANGIT! The new source comes just when me and Cole were about to start going at it again." Phoebe said, staring longingly at the portrait of her and Cole. Piper blew up the portrait, making Phoebe ENRAGED. She began to b*tch slap at her and Piper did it back. "Piper, Phoebe, I think we have some VANQUISHING to do here...." Paige commented. But she wasen't sure she wanted too. That new source was a peice of WORK!! "Oh, right." Piper said. "Com'n, sis. The sooner we do this the-" It was then that Wyatt began screaming. "Holy Sh*t, it's like I can't do anything around here!" Piper complained. She stomped up the stairs the fetch her baby as Phoebe and Paige searched through the book. "Nothing." Phoebe finally said. "Just like before." Piper was bouncing Wyatt a little too hard. He would be lucky if he didn't end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome. "Well it comes as no surprise to me." She griped. "Things can never be easy around here, I learned that a looong time back." Wyatt made a strangled gurgling noise as he got whiplash from Piper's hard bouncing. "Oh,shut up." Piper said. "Phoebe, did you get that sleeping spell finished yet?" Phoebe pulled out a little peice of paper as she walked tworeds Piper. "Yep, it's written right here. I worked on it while you were gone!" She said. Piper began to read it out loud:
I make you weary with this spell,
Now go to sleep you little spawn of h*ll.
Wyatt immedeatly dropped to sleep and Piper layed him down in the cradle, wrapped in the Power of Three blanket. "MUCH better." She said. "Now, PHOEBE, you can just get to work on that little vanquishing spell for the source." Phoebe groaned. "How come I always hafta be the POTIONS MASTER around here? Why can't I be the one that sits around on her fat @$$ and gripes all the time?" She said. "Sorry, job's already taken." Piper said, raising her hand. "And you hafta write the spells because your useless for anything other than that." Phoebe mumbled, "I might as well levitate you up on a meat hook." and she began to write a power of three spell.
"Say, I wonder what the personal gain spell's concequences are going to be?" Paige said. "I know it can't be anything too bad..." Piper laughed. "ha! You weren't here early enough to know. We've had QUITE the experiance with personal gain consequences, and we really didn't wanna face it again." She said. "Then why'd you do this one?" Paige inquired. "Because I don't wanna hafta listen to that freaking baby either. See, it balances out sort of." Piper said. Paige nodded. It was then that they heard a scream and a THUMP. "PHOEBE!!" Paige and Piper said together and they raced down the stairs. The new source was standing over the now unconcious Phoebe, about to end her life. "Hey!" PIper said, from the top of the stairs. "Step AWAY from Phoebe!" Then she did her guestere thingy and attempted to blow him up. But no response. "What the HELL??!!" She said. She tried again. No response. She tried to blow the chandelier above him down on his head. No response. "Uh, Paige, try to call that knife!!" Piper said. "Knife!" Paige called, and held out her hand. Nothing. "KNIFE!!" She said, louder. Nothing. The source soon got tired of waiting and shot a powerball. Piper lashed out her hands in instinct to freeze but instead all that happened was they heard a loud BOOM, but the powerball kept coming. "What the hell happened!!!!!!!!!" Piper hollered, as the powerball hit the wall between them as they dodged out of the way. Paige saw that they had to get to Phoebe before she died so she tried calling for the knife again. No dice. "What's wrong with our powers?" She asked. But Piper was already down the stairs. "Good thing Phoebe rubbed off on me!" She said, and kicked the source as hard as she could. The source fire-orbed out. He obviously didn't know what happened either. Paige ran down the stairs and to Phoebe's unconcious body. She felt for a pulse. "LEO!" Piper called. But nothing. "LEO!!" She tried, again. Leo ran down the stairs. "How come you didn't orb?" Piper asked. Leo was breathing hard. "That's what I was about to say! I can't use any of my powers, not even orbing! I can't heal, either." He said. it was then that Phoebe pulled herself to her feet.
"I thought you were unconcious, Phoebe?" Piper said. Phoebe shook her head. "Nope. I was pretending to be knocked out. you see, I wanna die and.." Piper held up a hand shushing her. "Phoebe, try to levitate." "Why?" "BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY!" "NOT UNTIL I GET SOME ANSWERS!" "BECAUSE I WANNA SEE IF YOUR POWER WORKS!!" Phoebe, mumbling, crouched down and jumped. But she didn't levitate, she just landed back on her feet. "What the flying hell?" She said. "I did it right, didn't I?" Piper, Paige and Leo nodded. "Our powers are... changed to stupid things!!" said Piper. "Watch!! When I try to freeze something, this happens." She did her little guestere and they heard a loud boom. "And when I try to blow something up..." She said, doing the little guesture. All of the sudden a small fire sprouted on Leo's @$$. "AHHHH!! PIPER, PUT IT OUT!!" He hollered. Piper did the little guestere again and the fire burnt out. She was laughing, so Leo hit her with a pillow. "You wanna see something EXTREMLEY weird..." leo said. He opened his mouth like he was going to scream, but instead the sound of a foghorn came out. All three charmed ones began to laugh hysterically. Leo was sad. Why did he hafta get a stupid power. "And I can only orb to flower shops!!" He whined. The charmed ones laughed even harder. "I wonder about my powers." Paige said. "It's obvious I can't call things anymore so there must be something-BURP!" Right as Paige burped, a bunch of acid careened out of her mouth and landed on that one couch they keep in the attic. "Aw MAN!!" Piper said. "I only paid 30$ for that couch! It was a lifetime deal!!" She stomped a foot and growled. "Well, if you guys have other powers I MUST have a different one..." Phoebe said. "But what if I don't? My powers were useless before." Leo was nodding. "I can go check with the elders but you probably don't have any other power." He said. Phoebe snapped her fingers.(You know, how some people do that when something they don't like has been discovered.) And right as she snapped her fingers, Leo's clothes came off down to his underwear. "WOW!!" Paige said. "Out of all of us, Phoebe gets the best power finally!" Phoebe bowed. "Shut up, everybody." Piper said. "We've gotta figure out what happened! I want to blow people up again, and freeze the whole town!! Now, if I get sent to jail, there's no WAY I can get out!!" She slumped over to Wyatt's crib and began trying to wake him.
about 2 hours later the doorbell rang while Paige was trying to get acid to come up again. But it only would when she burped. "I thought we all agreed on no visotors until we figure out what happened to our powers??!!" She yelled up the stairs. Phoebe came running down. "It must be an emergency, then. It could be Cole!" She ran over and swung open the door. Cole came running in. "You've gotta help me!!" He said, shaking her. Piper came in from eating a sandwich in the kitchen. "COLE?!" She said. "Get out of this house NOW, before I blow you- Oh yeah..." She slumped over on the couch by Phoebe. "YOUVE GOTTA HELP ME!!!" He yelled. Phoebe nodded slowley. "O....K...." She said. "WHY do you need our help? Aren't you like... a demon? A HOT demon??" Cole nodded. "Yes!! But watch!! Everytime I try to throw a power ball..." He began charging one up. But instead, it was a ball of slimy green stuff. "SNOT!" Paige yelled. "DISCUSTING!!" Phoebe watched it with a look of discust as he threw it and it hit Piper in the face. "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed. She began trying to wipe the sticky substance off her face. It was stuck in her hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. "I would take a shower if I were you." Phoebe said. "Aw, I can just do a spell to get it off. No biggy." Piper said. "Cole, do us all a favor and DONT USE POWERBALLS." Paige said. Cole agreed because he didn't much like having snot in his hands. "O.K..." Piper said. "If the new source comes into that door and we can't do anything but... UNDRESS HIM... then I'd say we're doomed!!" Phoebe nodded. But then Paige jumped up. "Hey Piper, remember how hot that new source is? If we undressed him..." A look of surprise crossed Piper's face. "Hey, your right!" She said. "We could get a dozen pictures of him..." They were inturrupted by Phoebe. "SHUT UP WHILE I MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND!!" She screamed. Piper was about to say that Phoebe DID get a divorce to him but decided to keep her mouth shut while she could. "Man, I've been trying to find an ideal mate for me to get down with. But I just can't. They all say I'm wrapped up in money and good looks!!" Paige said. Cole stopped making out with Phoebe. "Paige, your situation reminds me of a SONG I've heard before..." He said. Everybody stared at Cole, as Cole began to....sing Adelaide's Lament. "~It says here, in this book... The average unmarried female.. basically insecure...~" He began to sing. It sounded surprisngly good. "That must be his new power..." Piper said. "~With Psycho simatic symptoms... difficult, to endure...~" "I'll bet you anything it was that personal gain spell we cast on Wyatt!!" Phoebe said. Piper shook her head. "Yeah, but then why would it be affecting Cole and Leo they didn't cast that spell." She said. They decided she had made a point. "In other words, from just waiting around for that plain little band of gold...~" "But remember that one time that we cast that one on you, Piper?" Phoebe said. "It affected everybody in the whole d*mn hospital!!" Piper nodded. "Your right then, I guess. But it was a spell to put someone to sleep. Woulden't the consequence hafta be tied to the spell?" She said. "You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the braumfizz.....~" Just then Leo came down the stairs. "I heard the doorbell ring and I came down here to see who it was." He said. Piper pointed to Cole. "Oh, I see." Leo said. "What are his new powers?" Paige rolled her eyes. "Isn't one of them obvious Leo? Just a couple minutes ago he threw a snot ball and now he burst into song!! It's like he's a living musical!!" She said. "Maybe this spell affected everybody who has powers!" Piper said. "Should I just say... I TOLD YOU SO?" Phoebe complained. "~If she's getting a kind of a name for herself and the name aint his...~" "Can somebody shut him up? I'm trying to concentrate on my work." Paige said. Phoebe and Piper gaped. "You got a new JOB, Paige?" They asked. Paige was nodding proudly. "Yep. A pretty good one at that. I decided since I have the power to burp up acid, I could become an extermanator! But, I'd hafta being a coke with me when I go..." She said. "~ With a lack of community property, and a feeling she's getting too old...~" "SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!!!" Phoebe hollered as loud as she could. Cole stopped short in the middle of song. "What you didn't like my song?" He asked. "Just shut up for a while." Leo said. "I'm going to uh.... check with the elders about our powers?" He ran out the door. Piper had no idea what he meant by 'check with the elders' but she didn't think it was very good. "I'm gonna go and see if my baby is awake yet." She said. She climbed up the stairs.
When she reached the top of the stairs, Wyatt was still silently asleep. She decided to take a look through the Book of Shadows to see what kinds of good personal gain spells there were to offer. She came across a little peice of paper that Phoebe had written on. It was telling on how to resurrect someone from the dead. "What?" She said, outloud to herself. Then it hit her. Cole had been dead, and she had resurrected him! Could that be why their powers were switched, because of the consequence? Or maybe it wasen't counted as personal gain at all; because it was for the benifit of Cole. "Then that means I could ressurect Prue!!" She said, outloud and to herself once again. But what would Prue think about it? Would she think Piper was a total idiot or would she be happy about it? She didn't care; so she began the ritual.
* * *
Prue appeared in front of Piper. "PRUE? IS THAT YOU?" She asked. Prue nodded, surprised. "PIPER??! WHAT DID YOU DO??!!" Piper gaped. "Uh.. I resurrected you because I was sad that you were dead." She said. "I thought you might enjoy being alive too." Prue slowley nodded. "I do. But that was SO personal gain, and besides you missing me there must have been another reason for you ressurecting me." Piper nodded. "There actually is. Our powers are like- doing weird sh*t and we don't know why! It's psycho! See, watch!!" She did the guestere for freezing, but instead a loud boom was heard. "They won't freeze! It just makes a weird BOOM noise." She said. Prue was nodding slowley. "Weird. Is it happening with Phoebe, Leo and Cole?" She asked. Piper nodded. "And Paige." She added. Prue looked puzzled. "Whose Paige?" She asked. "Oh, she's our long lost sister. She'll be happy as a clam to finally meet you." Prue slowley nodded again. "I don't think anything's wrong with my powers." Prue said. She concentrated on a candle and waved her hand. It went sailing off the table. "See?" She said. Piper thought this might be because Prue had been dead; but it might start happening. So, she just decided they would wait.
"Look who's here!!" Piper shouted, as her and Prue came down the stairs. Phoebe looked up and was immedeantly overjoyed. "PRUE!!" She shouted. Then she realized something. Piper must have found out about her little...ressurection spell and decided to use it on Prue. Paige looked up. "So you're Prue! I've always wanted to meet you!" Prue and Paige shook hands. "And you must be Paige." said Prue.
Hello! This is my first fic about Charmed! But there are a couple of things that I need to warn you about this fic. I'm going to rate it PG 13, but if you think the rating needs to be higher than say so. IN this story there are going to be some jokes about gays and two of them get there powers switched and the powers revolve around well...gays. But I'm not saying gays are bad or anything. And there is going to be some stuff like Soap Operas and Jerry Springer, but it'll be funny, so don't worry about that. anyway, I hope you enjoy it!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed or any other trademark things mentioned in this story. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
"Go to sleep, you d@mn little ingrate!!" Piper hollered at her baby boy, Wyatt. Wyatt was screaming at the top of his lungs and he woulden't go to sleep. "Man, you want me to put a spell on you? A spell that'll do more than just put you to sleep!!" She said, as she attempted to jam the bottle down his throat. Phoebe walked up. "What are you DOING to that poor baby?" She asked. "It sounds like he's being murdered from down there!!" Piper looked up. "Hello, PHOEBE. Help me put this spawn of hell to sleep." She said. Phoebe looked at Wyatt. He was screaming and yelling and his face was turning purple. "Well, he's got no strings around anything..... theres not a bee anywhere... no evil anywhere... he got a crayon up his nose......" Phoebe said. "But otherwise, he looks fine." Then she realized what she had just said and yanked the crayon out of his nose. But he still kept crying. "Oh, I know!!" Piper exclaimed. "He wants some baby music to help him go to sleep!!" She turned the radio to this one song. It was the song 'It's Getting Hot in Herre.' Wyatt went RIGHT to sleep. "See? He just wanted a little music." said Phoebe. Piper wrapped Wyatt up in his Power of Three blanket and put him in the crib. Then they walked out of the attic. Leo was in the living room watching a video. Piper looked at the T.V. and saw that the movie had a bunch of scantily clad women dancing freakishly around a pole and some of them were doing the worm on a table. Leo was staring blankly at the video. "LEO!!" Piper hollered and she ran over. She pushed the stop button. "What the HELL is wrong with you? You've got a WIFE that lives here, you know!!" Piper griped. Leo got mad because she turned off his show. He was getting awfully tired of her nagging and doing things simply because she didn't like it. "Aw man, Piper it was just getting good!! One was about to take off her top!" Leo said. "And these women... D@MN! Theres this one that's to die for and she's got a bust size that's out of this world!!" Piper got really really mad. "What, you don't think I'M sexy?" She asked. Leo shrugged. "No." He said plainly. Piper got so mad that she did her little guestere and blew Leo up. He orbed right back in though. "B*tch!!" Leo said. He stormed into the kitchen. Then Piper saw that Phoebe was looking at a picture of something. "Phoebe? That had better not be a man or something! A STRIPPER man." Piper said. Phoebe shook her head and showed the picture to Piper. It was a picture of Cole. Piper's mouth dropped wide open. "PHOEBE!!" She screamed. Paige came into the front door and saw that Piper had a look of disbeleif on her face and that Phoebe was staring dreamily at a picture of something. "Picture." she said, and held out her hand. The picture dissipated from Phoebe's hand and formed in Paige's. Paige gaped when she saw it. "PHOEBE!! Are you together with him again?" She asked. Phoebe nodded, and Piper and Paige both got angry. "I'm gonna cast a spell on you!!" Paige said. Piper held up a hand to shut her up. Then, they heard Leo yell something from the attic. "Hey everybody, come here! Wyatt's singing his first song!!" Everybody ran up to the attic.
Leo pushed the play button on the little cassete player and it began to say,
"Now I lay me down to sleep
With the boy across the street
Wont my mommy be surprised
When my stomach starts to rise!!"
And Wyatt was waving his hands and making little noises. He liked the song. Piper gaped. "Leo! You woke him up!" She said. Then she began to cuss at him and things. "I just had the little brat to sleep!!" She opened up the Book of Shadows for a sleeping spell. But she coulden't find one. "Phoebe! Make me up a spell for sleeping for about 2 hours." Piper said. Now, Phoebe knew about Piper's little lecture on about every demon hunt they went on, and that was, 'NO CASTING SPELLS FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN.' So Phoebe refused. "There is no way I am making up a spell for personal gain. You tell me not to yourself every single time I even ask if I can do one little spell. So the answer is no." She said. Piper growled. "You'd BETTER make me a spell, or I'll blow your @$$ up." Piper said. Phoebe got to work on writing a spell for Piper. Then they heard the T.V switch on for no apparent reason. "What the heck! I TOLD the electrictian to make it stop doing that!" Paige said. "I'm gonna sue his-" She decided to follow Piper, Leo and Phoebe as they ran down the stairs with Wyatt. So she did. But as she began to go down she tripped down the stairs. "A llittle HELP?" She asked. But she noticed everyone was staring at the T.V with a surprised look on their faces. So she got up and looked at the T.V. It was zoomed in on a city under attack and people were falling dead. "Is that demonic?" She asked, as a huge powerball nailed some guy and dissipated him down to just a skeleton. "Gee, I don't know." Piper said. "DUH!!" Paige nodded. "I think we should like... go there, don't you?" She asked. But everyone was way ahead of her. "Phoebe, you stay here with Wyatt while me and Paige go and try to stop that demon from killing anymore innocents." Piper said, handing the baby to Phoebe. "Why do I hafta stay here with LEO always?" She whined. Piper was getting awfully tired of her. "Because your USELESS, that's why! Now come on, Paige. Orb us there." She said. Paige knew better than to tell Piper no or she'd get blown up so she orbed them there.
When they reached the city there was a bunch of people scattering around screaming. "Piper, freeze them before we get exposed dimwhit!!" Paige said. Piper did her little guestere and everyone in town was frozen. "Now where's the stupid demon?" Piper asked. "I wanna go home and do my nails!!" The demon showed up in front of them. "WOWZA!!" Paige said. "Can I have your number, hottie??!!" The demon stood there. "Hey, wait a minute, your supposed to be trying to kill me!! I'm the new source, you idiots!!" He said. They both just stared. "Too bad I'm already married." Piper said, gloomily. Paige began to fish out a little peice of paper to get the demon's number on, and Piper began to panic. "Paige!! We've GOTTA get Phoebe here!!" She said. "This guys the new source!!" The new source was very pleased to see that all three witches were not present and that he could easily crush Piper and Paige. He held his hand out with the palm up and threw fire at them. It hit them and sent Piper flying into a vegetable cart and Paige into a clothes line. "Piper, blow him up you moron!!" Paige said. Piper wasen't sure if it would work but she did her little guestere anyway. There was an explosion, and the demon looked stunned, but nothing happened. "Then... FREEZE him!!" Paige said. Piper tried that too. It didn't work either. Paige looked over and saw an athemae on the ground. "Athemae!!" She said, and it appeared in her hand. She then threw it at the source, who did the little fire teleport thingy to get away. Then he was gone. Piper pulled herself out of the vegetable cart. She had tomatoe goo and such all over her new clothes. "Aw man!!" She exclaimed. "Now I hafta go all the way back to TJ Max and get ANOTHER one of these outfits!!" Paige rolled her eyes and orbed them back to the manor.
"The new source?" Phoebe asked, once they arrived there. Piper nodded. "Yeah, and he ruined my clothes!" She hollered. Leo gaped. "See, this is what the world gets when the people there to protect them are GIRLS." He said. Piper thought about blowing him up or casting a permanent spell on him. "Gosh DANGIT! The new source comes just when me and Cole were about to start going at it again." Phoebe said, staring longingly at the portrait of her and Cole. Piper blew up the portrait, making Phoebe ENRAGED. She began to b*tch slap at her and Piper did it back. "Piper, Phoebe, I think we have some VANQUISHING to do here...." Paige commented. But she wasen't sure she wanted too. That new source was a peice of WORK!! "Oh, right." Piper said. "Com'n, sis. The sooner we do this the-" It was then that Wyatt began screaming. "Holy Sh*t, it's like I can't do anything around here!" Piper complained. She stomped up the stairs the fetch her baby as Phoebe and Paige searched through the book. "Nothing." Phoebe finally said. "Just like before." Piper was bouncing Wyatt a little too hard. He would be lucky if he didn't end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome. "Well it comes as no surprise to me." She griped. "Things can never be easy around here, I learned that a looong time back." Wyatt made a strangled gurgling noise as he got whiplash from Piper's hard bouncing. "Oh,shut up." Piper said. "Phoebe, did you get that sleeping spell finished yet?" Phoebe pulled out a little peice of paper as she walked tworeds Piper. "Yep, it's written right here. I worked on it while you were gone!" She said. Piper began to read it out loud:
I make you weary with this spell,
Now go to sleep you little spawn of h*ll.
Wyatt immedeatly dropped to sleep and Piper layed him down in the cradle, wrapped in the Power of Three blanket. "MUCH better." She said. "Now, PHOEBE, you can just get to work on that little vanquishing spell for the source." Phoebe groaned. "How come I always hafta be the POTIONS MASTER around here? Why can't I be the one that sits around on her fat @$$ and gripes all the time?" She said. "Sorry, job's already taken." Piper said, raising her hand. "And you hafta write the spells because your useless for anything other than that." Phoebe mumbled, "I might as well levitate you up on a meat hook." and she began to write a power of three spell.
"Say, I wonder what the personal gain spell's concequences are going to be?" Paige said. "I know it can't be anything too bad..." Piper laughed. "ha! You weren't here early enough to know. We've had QUITE the experiance with personal gain consequences, and we really didn't wanna face it again." She said. "Then why'd you do this one?" Paige inquired. "Because I don't wanna hafta listen to that freaking baby either. See, it balances out sort of." Piper said. Paige nodded. It was then that they heard a scream and a THUMP. "PHOEBE!!" Paige and Piper said together and they raced down the stairs. The new source was standing over the now unconcious Phoebe, about to end her life. "Hey!" PIper said, from the top of the stairs. "Step AWAY from Phoebe!" Then she did her guestere thingy and attempted to blow him up. But no response. "What the HELL??!!" She said. She tried again. No response. She tried to blow the chandelier above him down on his head. No response. "Uh, Paige, try to call that knife!!" Piper said. "Knife!" Paige called, and held out her hand. Nothing. "KNIFE!!" She said, louder. Nothing. The source soon got tired of waiting and shot a powerball. Piper lashed out her hands in instinct to freeze but instead all that happened was they heard a loud BOOM, but the powerball kept coming. "What the hell happened!!!!!!!!!" Piper hollered, as the powerball hit the wall between them as they dodged out of the way. Paige saw that they had to get to Phoebe before she died so she tried calling for the knife again. No dice. "What's wrong with our powers?" She asked. But Piper was already down the stairs. "Good thing Phoebe rubbed off on me!" She said, and kicked the source as hard as she could. The source fire-orbed out. He obviously didn't know what happened either. Paige ran down the stairs and to Phoebe's unconcious body. She felt for a pulse. "LEO!" Piper called. But nothing. "LEO!!" She tried, again. Leo ran down the stairs. "How come you didn't orb?" Piper asked. Leo was breathing hard. "That's what I was about to say! I can't use any of my powers, not even orbing! I can't heal, either." He said. it was then that Phoebe pulled herself to her feet.
"I thought you were unconcious, Phoebe?" Piper said. Phoebe shook her head. "Nope. I was pretending to be knocked out. you see, I wanna die and.." Piper held up a hand shushing her. "Phoebe, try to levitate." "Why?" "BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY!" "NOT UNTIL I GET SOME ANSWERS!" "BECAUSE I WANNA SEE IF YOUR POWER WORKS!!" Phoebe, mumbling, crouched down and jumped. But she didn't levitate, she just landed back on her feet. "What the flying hell?" She said. "I did it right, didn't I?" Piper, Paige and Leo nodded. "Our powers are... changed to stupid things!!" said Piper. "Watch!! When I try to freeze something, this happens." She did her little guestere and they heard a loud boom. "And when I try to blow something up..." She said, doing the little guesture. All of the sudden a small fire sprouted on Leo's @$$. "AHHHH!! PIPER, PUT IT OUT!!" He hollered. Piper did the little guestere again and the fire burnt out. She was laughing, so Leo hit her with a pillow. "You wanna see something EXTREMLEY weird..." leo said. He opened his mouth like he was going to scream, but instead the sound of a foghorn came out. All three charmed ones began to laugh hysterically. Leo was sad. Why did he hafta get a stupid power. "And I can only orb to flower shops!!" He whined. The charmed ones laughed even harder. "I wonder about my powers." Paige said. "It's obvious I can't call things anymore so there must be something-BURP!" Right as Paige burped, a bunch of acid careened out of her mouth and landed on that one couch they keep in the attic. "Aw MAN!!" Piper said. "I only paid 30$ for that couch! It was a lifetime deal!!" She stomped a foot and growled. "Well, if you guys have other powers I MUST have a different one..." Phoebe said. "But what if I don't? My powers were useless before." Leo was nodding. "I can go check with the elders but you probably don't have any other power." He said. Phoebe snapped her fingers.(You know, how some people do that when something they don't like has been discovered.) And right as she snapped her fingers, Leo's clothes came off down to his underwear. "WOW!!" Paige said. "Out of all of us, Phoebe gets the best power finally!" Phoebe bowed. "Shut up, everybody." Piper said. "We've gotta figure out what happened! I want to blow people up again, and freeze the whole town!! Now, if I get sent to jail, there's no WAY I can get out!!" She slumped over to Wyatt's crib and began trying to wake him.
about 2 hours later the doorbell rang while Paige was trying to get acid to come up again. But it only would when she burped. "I thought we all agreed on no visotors until we figure out what happened to our powers??!!" She yelled up the stairs. Phoebe came running down. "It must be an emergency, then. It could be Cole!" She ran over and swung open the door. Cole came running in. "You've gotta help me!!" He said, shaking her. Piper came in from eating a sandwich in the kitchen. "COLE?!" She said. "Get out of this house NOW, before I blow you- Oh yeah..." She slumped over on the couch by Phoebe. "YOUVE GOTTA HELP ME!!!" He yelled. Phoebe nodded slowley. "O....K...." She said. "WHY do you need our help? Aren't you like... a demon? A HOT demon??" Cole nodded. "Yes!! But watch!! Everytime I try to throw a power ball..." He began charging one up. But instead, it was a ball of slimy green stuff. "SNOT!" Paige yelled. "DISCUSTING!!" Phoebe watched it with a look of discust as he threw it and it hit Piper in the face. "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed. She began trying to wipe the sticky substance off her face. It was stuck in her hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. "I would take a shower if I were you." Phoebe said. "Aw, I can just do a spell to get it off. No biggy." Piper said. "Cole, do us all a favor and DONT USE POWERBALLS." Paige said. Cole agreed because he didn't much like having snot in his hands. "O.K..." Piper said. "If the new source comes into that door and we can't do anything but... UNDRESS HIM... then I'd say we're doomed!!" Phoebe nodded. But then Paige jumped up. "Hey Piper, remember how hot that new source is? If we undressed him..." A look of surprise crossed Piper's face. "Hey, your right!" She said. "We could get a dozen pictures of him..." They were inturrupted by Phoebe. "SHUT UP WHILE I MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND!!" She screamed. Piper was about to say that Phoebe DID get a divorce to him but decided to keep her mouth shut while she could. "Man, I've been trying to find an ideal mate for me to get down with. But I just can't. They all say I'm wrapped up in money and good looks!!" Paige said. Cole stopped making out with Phoebe. "Paige, your situation reminds me of a SONG I've heard before..." He said. Everybody stared at Cole, as Cole began to....sing Adelaide's Lament. "~It says here, in this book... The average unmarried female.. basically insecure...~" He began to sing. It sounded surprisngly good. "That must be his new power..." Piper said. "~With Psycho simatic symptoms... difficult, to endure...~" "I'll bet you anything it was that personal gain spell we cast on Wyatt!!" Phoebe said. Piper shook her head. "Yeah, but then why would it be affecting Cole and Leo they didn't cast that spell." She said. They decided she had made a point. "In other words, from just waiting around for that plain little band of gold...~" "But remember that one time that we cast that one on you, Piper?" Phoebe said. "It affected everybody in the whole d*mn hospital!!" Piper nodded. "Your right then, I guess. But it was a spell to put someone to sleep. Woulden't the consequence hafta be tied to the spell?" She said. "You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the braumfizz.....~" Just then Leo came down the stairs. "I heard the doorbell ring and I came down here to see who it was." He said. Piper pointed to Cole. "Oh, I see." Leo said. "What are his new powers?" Paige rolled her eyes. "Isn't one of them obvious Leo? Just a couple minutes ago he threw a snot ball and now he burst into song!! It's like he's a living musical!!" She said. "Maybe this spell affected everybody who has powers!" Piper said. "Should I just say... I TOLD YOU SO?" Phoebe complained. "~If she's getting a kind of a name for herself and the name aint his...~" "Can somebody shut him up? I'm trying to concentrate on my work." Paige said. Phoebe and Piper gaped. "You got a new JOB, Paige?" They asked. Paige was nodding proudly. "Yep. A pretty good one at that. I decided since I have the power to burp up acid, I could become an extermanator! But, I'd hafta being a coke with me when I go..." She said. "~ With a lack of community property, and a feeling she's getting too old...~" "SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!!!" Phoebe hollered as loud as she could. Cole stopped short in the middle of song. "What you didn't like my song?" He asked. "Just shut up for a while." Leo said. "I'm going to uh.... check with the elders about our powers?" He ran out the door. Piper had no idea what he meant by 'check with the elders' but she didn't think it was very good. "I'm gonna go and see if my baby is awake yet." She said. She climbed up the stairs.
When she reached the top of the stairs, Wyatt was still silently asleep. She decided to take a look through the Book of Shadows to see what kinds of good personal gain spells there were to offer. She came across a little peice of paper that Phoebe had written on. It was telling on how to resurrect someone from the dead. "What?" She said, outloud to herself. Then it hit her. Cole had been dead, and she had resurrected him! Could that be why their powers were switched, because of the consequence? Or maybe it wasen't counted as personal gain at all; because it was for the benifit of Cole. "Then that means I could ressurect Prue!!" She said, outloud and to herself once again. But what would Prue think about it? Would she think Piper was a total idiot or would she be happy about it? She didn't care; so she began the ritual.
* * *
Prue appeared in front of Piper. "PRUE? IS THAT YOU?" She asked. Prue nodded, surprised. "PIPER??! WHAT DID YOU DO??!!" Piper gaped. "Uh.. I resurrected you because I was sad that you were dead." She said. "I thought you might enjoy being alive too." Prue slowley nodded. "I do. But that was SO personal gain, and besides you missing me there must have been another reason for you ressurecting me." Piper nodded. "There actually is. Our powers are like- doing weird sh*t and we don't know why! It's psycho! See, watch!!" She did the guestere for freezing, but instead a loud boom was heard. "They won't freeze! It just makes a weird BOOM noise." She said. Prue was nodding slowley. "Weird. Is it happening with Phoebe, Leo and Cole?" She asked. Piper nodded. "And Paige." She added. Prue looked puzzled. "Whose Paige?" She asked. "Oh, she's our long lost sister. She'll be happy as a clam to finally meet you." Prue slowley nodded again. "I don't think anything's wrong with my powers." Prue said. She concentrated on a candle and waved her hand. It went sailing off the table. "See?" She said. Piper thought this might be because Prue had been dead; but it might start happening. So, she just decided they would wait.
"Look who's here!!" Piper shouted, as her and Prue came down the stairs. Phoebe looked up and was immedeantly overjoyed. "PRUE!!" She shouted. Then she realized something. Piper must have found out about her little...ressurection spell and decided to use it on Prue. Paige looked up. "So you're Prue! I've always wanted to meet you!" Prue and Paige shook hands. "And you must be Paige." said Prue.