(A/n ... OoC ... I own nothing ... I had fun writing it ... Lol. o.O)
Wishing
Josh's name never left my mind. Even when I went home after a long days work, it was there. It sounded like a soft July rain falling lazily onto a lush green forest. Josh. Josh. Mmmmm, such a sweet sounding name. Joshua. I was instantly happy just playing with his name on my lips.
Then there was his presence. Now, he and I are friends, there's no doubting that. He was higher up then me at work, there's not doubting that either. Yet, he never looks down on me. He appreciates my advice, companionship, talks, whatever I offer. He offers the same in return. I love Joshua Lyman, and he has no clue.
It saddened me that he was unaware of my feelings, but I hid it. My feelings were always one big masquerade. I was getting sick of it. I guess I could tell C.J, I felt I could confide in her. I trusted her, she and I are friends.
Such a scandal it would cause though. Josh and I, if he even feels the same way. I suppose, if he felt the same way, he would realize I feel that way for him, and I would realize his feelings. It's easier to tell when the feeling is mutual. Secrets would no longer have to be kept from those who mattered most. Oh sure, there would still be scads of secrecy, but only to the public.
My heart ached now more then ever, because I had felt for him so long. I feared nothing would ever come of Josh and I. I longed for the day when I could embrace him, and whisper sweet-nothings into his ear, and have him whisper back. I wish life wasn't so damned complicated. I wish love wasn't so complicated. I wish too much. My life will soon be gone, and it will have been nothing but wishes, hopes, and unfulfilled desires. Oh well. At least I had his friendship, even if that would be as far as it would go. I could live with that.
Ring, Ring!
"Hello, Sam speaking, how may I be of service?"
The End