DISCLAIMER: I think that I have stated this before, but if I owned 'The X-Files' then I wouldn't be posting fan fiction, now would I? Of course I wish that they were mine, but I don't think I would have ever came up with two extraordinary characters such as these. Yeah, they're all you buddy: Chris Carter: and you get the credit for them also.
And now on with the story…OCTOBER 21, 1993
Dear Fox, I cannot do this anymore. By this I mean be a mother. I thought that if you helped me raise our child together then it would be all right. I thought that I would become a great mother because of your positive influence. There was so many times where I wished that I had the courage to be a mother. So many times where I wished where I could raise our child together with you. But, as you can guess, those times never came or made an appearance. Fox, I loved you…I still love you with all my heart, but I can't stay. Not because of you, but her. I know that you will not give her up to be with me and I will not make you. But, imagine how we used to be. We were so great together. Were is obviously the keyword when it comes to us. I thought this vacation would make me want to become a mother. I thought that giving birth and seeing and hold her would also. This isn't Post Partum Depression, Fox, I was never happy at the thought of a child or carrying and I still not, but I did it. I never wanted a child and I still don't. I just gave this child to you because it made you happy. That sad thing about it is, I was happy when I gave birth and not because our daughter was born, but because she was no longer in me. I was happy because I was no longer carrying around something I didn't want in the first place. You must think that I am a monster, Fox, but I am not. I am just being truthful with you and I didn't do anything to harm the baby, I never would. But, I do not want to take place in her life. Not right now at least. Hopefully, someday, I will want to be a mother and when that day comes I want to see her.
Love, Gabrielle
Mulder bit his lip, so he wouldn't cry. He folded the letter, and then laid it on the table. Randi was now crying and Mulder knew that she needed to be fed. He went to the kitchen and got the milk out of the refrigerator to warm up. How could Gabrielle just leave like this? After all the things they've been through. How can she leave after all the things she said? They wanted a family…or maybe not. He thought that things were great between he and Gabrielle. She was stayed because she loved him and not their child. After three years together, Mulder thought that they wanted the same things in life. He thought that they had the same hopes and dreams, but it was just he who wanted that. She just wanted him and nothing more. That would make a lot of men happy to have a woman who was interested in nothing more, but him. Not Mulder, he wanted a woman he shared his hopes and dreams.
When they first met, Mulder told Gabrielle about his family. He told her how his parents divorced when he was fourteen and how his sister and he stayed and lived with their father. His father, William 'Bill' Mulder had took everything from his Mom 'Teena'. She didn't have a job and couldn't take care of the kids without any money. Bill had always been faithful to Teena and could prove that she had a long-term affair with a fellow co-worker. Shortly after Mulder's sixteenth birthday, he found out that his mom was pregnant with another child. A son named Erik Smith Spender, Teena married the guy she had an affair with not too long after Erik's birth. Samantha was excited, but Mulder was jealous. He already had limited time with his mom and now a baby. All her time would be focus on the new- born child and it was. When he was over at her house, she barely spent time with him and Samantha.
It hurt him because of how close they used to be before the divorce. He drifted away from his mom and that upset her. She promised that she would do better, but then the new baby came. Mulder tried to push it off until Erik got older, but it seemed as if Teena got too busy for her old family. His dad worked more and more with increasing hours and Samantha became a woman at an early age. The family that used to be so close had drifted apart drastically. They no longer talked or bonded. It was always high and bye, and then after college they no longer communicated. The Mulder's became too busy to spend time with one another.
Mulder promised himself that when he got older, his life would never be that way. When he got married and had his family that they would never go through what he went through when he was younger. Obviously, they won't because the mother won't be around.
Mulder got Randi out of her crib and took her to the kitchen to feed her. She sucked happily on the bottle Mulder had put in her mouth. She was beautiful. Randi was beautiful. She had Mulder's hazel-green eyes with dark hair. You could barely see it, but it was there. Randi was only seven going weeks old. Mulder walked Randi to the bed that he and Gabrielle used to share and laid down on it as he held her close to his chest. Soft words escaped his lips as he sang a lullaby and rubbed the back of his daughter. Not too long after she fell asleep, Mulder did also. Before Mulder drifted off to sleep he said,
"Things will get better, Randi, I promised." Then he planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.
TBC…
If you're interested, just let me know. I should be starting on the next chapter later on today. Scully will be introduced if not the next chapter, the one after that. It will be a MSR, of course! Also, if you are wondering about my other stories just send me an e-mail to remind me to finish them if you want to read them. I left the notebooks at school, but I'll bring them home and begin to type up a storm to finish.