Hatred Never Hurts As Much As Love

Hate. That's how it had started. At least, that's what I thought. "Shizu-chan" is what he called me and I hated it. I hated him but…I wanted. I wanted to be able to pull him close, have my way with him and then beat him to a bloody pulp. Despite all my wants, I couldn't stop the hate. Why I hated him back then, I don't entirely know but I understand why I hate him now. I hate him because I'm in love with him. I want him, need him, crave him so badly and I can't have him. He'll never love me the way I want him to. He can't.

It was these thoughts that seemed to bounce around in my head as I walked the busy streets of Ikebukuro. The thoughts, despite their depressing nature, were all I had to accompany me on my lonely journey home. At least until I heard the bone-chilling nickname appointed to me by my enemy.

"Shizu-chan~!" Izaya's voice rung clear though the night despite the sounds of the city. My head snapped to the left only so my gaze could settle on the black haired beauty named Izaya Orihara.

Somehow, instead of hatred and rage, sorrow and longing stabbed at my heart. The melody in which he practically sang my name engulfed my being in longing. His voice, though teasing, seemed to beg me to move forward…and I did. Slowly I approached him. Cautiously I set one foot in front of the other until I stood a few feet from him in a dark alley. We stood alone, blocked from the view of other pedestrians by a dumpster.

"Shizu-chan, you're finally here," he cooed softly, sadistically. His voice, whiny as it was, stabbed at my heart and taunted my groin.

"Why did you say "finally"?" I asked, not taking the time to care how suspicious my calmness might be to him. Maybe I wanted him to notice.

"I've been waiting for you. It was easy to figure out that you would take this road home. It's also easy to figure out why you haven't tried to kill me yet," he almost giggled at the end of his explanation.

"I hate violence," I responded coolly.

"That may be, Shizu-chan, but it isn't the reason. You want me," he giggled this time. Another stab to my groin. I was getting hard just looking at him and his lustful gaze wasn't helping the situation.

"Oh? And what makes you think that I want you?" I asked, controlling the level of need in my voice.

"Why, Shizu-chan, I can see your erection. You want nothing more than to throw me up against the wall and pound me into oblivion," he giggled masochistically. I had to readjust my shirt collar to keep myself from overheating.

"I can't do that…" I mumbled, peeking shyly at him. He moved closer to me and gripped my tie loosely in his hand.

"And what's stopping you, my beast of Ikebukuro?" he asked, peeking up at me and running his hand down my tie, all while batting his beautiful eyelashes.

"Nothing," I whispered and snatched him close by his shirt collar.

I crushed his lips in a bruising kiss and backed him towards the wall. Without a second thought, I picked him up by his shirt and slammed him into said wall. As my tongue fought for dominance of his mouth, my hands tore his pants and underwear down his legs. I slipped them over my head and placed one hand firmly on his ass to hold him up while I fixated on removing my own pants and underwear. As I worked, Izaya ran his hand up into my hair and pulled…hard. He had pulled so hard that my lips had been forced from his, causing me to bite down and make his lip bleed. I would have apologized but seeing his bloody lip and lustful eyes were all I could think about.

"Shizu-chan…" he practically moaned as I rocked my hips upward to rub our cocks together.

I simply smirked and tore his jacket from him before going for the shirt next. His fingers fiddled with my clothing as I continued rocking my hips. When we were both naked, I attacked his neck. I kissed, licked, bit, and sucked on the flesh of his neck. Little bruises were scattered over him after only a few moments. His fingers clawed my back and I could feel the skin breaking and the blood trickling. With a hiss, I pushed him harder against the wall. Izaya had opened his mouth to say something but his words were forgotten when I thrust into him violently and without any form of lubrication.

He let out loud moans as I pounded his tight hole relentlessly. No doubt he would have bruises between his legs later. As if to put himself through more pain, he reached down and tugged at his own cock, starting to pump furiously and rather harshly. The sight made my grip on his ass tighten.

"Ah! Shizu-chan~! More…" he gasped and moaned.

"Shut up you psychopath," I growled and brought one of my hands up to choke him but just enough to give him pleasure. I didn't need him dying before I got off.

This new pressure on his throat made him whimper from all the abuse to his body. I increased my speed and how hard I thrust, finding his prostate and steadily abusing it. Only moments later, he was screaming my name and shooting ribbons of cum. Thankfully, I had released inside him a minute later. As he breathed heavily, Izaya smirked.

"I hate you," I whispered.

"You're a terrible liar, Shizu-chan," he chuckled.

With that accusation, I pulled out and dropped him on the ground. He winced on contact with the hard surface but I continued dressing myself as if nothing had happened. I snatched up his shirt to clean his cum off my chest before throwing it at him. His face held a hurt expression but I ignored it as I fixed my own shirt and walked away. Knowing Izaya, he was just trying to fake genuine emotions. Heartless bastard.

I made my way to the small apartment where I lived and tore my filthy clothes from my body and took a quick shower. I then slipped into a clean pair of briefs and loose fitting pajama pants. As I was exiting my bathroom, I caught a glimpse of the scratches that Izaya had left. As I studied them, I realized they were deeper than I had originally thought. I reached over my shoulder and traced them gently, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving my enemy in the alley, naked and leaking cum.

I hung my head as I dragged myself to bed. Slowly, I crawled on top of my blankets and passed out on my stomach. Despite my exhaustion, I woke in the middle of the night to the feeling of skin gently brushing against the scratches on my back. The sensation was pleasant as was the feeling of a naked chest against my back. Even more pleasant were the kisses subtlety placed on my neck.

"Shizu-chan," I heard the name whispered and I tensed.

"I-Izaya?" I stammered quietly.

"Why so tense, Shizu-chan? I have no intention of harming you," he whispered in between kisses.

"Then why are you here?" I asked, relaxing a bit.

"Shizu-chan, I can't love you but…I would like it if you used me for your own purpose," he confessed.

"Even if I am forcing my love on you?" I asked softly.

"Yes, because I'm giving myself to you," he answered and nuzzled the crook of my neck.

"Why would you do something like that?" I asked.

"Because, somehow, I care about you…please, Shizu-chan, will you use me?" Izaya whimpered in my ear, knowing I wouldn't be able to resist.

I rolled over on to my back and kissed him gently. His eyes shut and he pressed himself closer to me. My hands made their way to the small of his back and into his hair. Our kiss was soft and slow, much unlike the sex we had had earlier that night. It was when he pulled away that we finally dozed off.

DunDunDun…

Author's Note: This is my first Durarara! fic. I'm kind of excited but I still think it turned out like crap . I basically listened to Kuroshitsuji character songs the whole time I wrote this! I hope you enjoyed it ^_^ If you have any requests, please feel free to ask!

Love,

Hannya (^_^)