It was cold, too cold for October in my opinion. However the coldness did have a way of reflecting the emotions running through my heart. They left me. They left me behind to go off looking for Horuxes without me. "What an idiotic idea didn't they think I could be of service I mean I'm not the dumbest person in the world." I thought to myself while sitting on my window seat with my window open to the wondrous view of the Great Lake with the moon reflecting in it and then surrounded by a cloak of darkness known as the Forbidden Forrest. I sat there soaking it all in and at the same time peering out towards the horizon wishing I could be off with them rather than here. I didn't know how dependent I was on them until they left me at the end of the summer. The whole time I thought I was going with them. I suppose I was too focused on our journey to read the signals they were giving me. The glances away every time I told them we were going to be together till the end. The way they always tried to change the subject. I guess I figured that they were just sad about leaving everyone. I was so stupid. I should have known that they wouldn't bring me. I was no different than Ginny. I still remembered what Ron said to me in the letter.

"We need to do this on our own. I would just be worried about you the whole time. I love you too much to take you with me." I told everyone I understood even though it was killing me inside. But that is what I had to do. That is what I'm expected to do.

So I came back to Hogwarts pretending to be happy about my new head girl position. The truth was I was only happy about it because I knew it would occupy my time so I wouldn't have to think about Harry and Ron out there side by side facing the world without me. Unfortunately the choice of head boy wasn't particularly to my liking. Blaise Zambini was proving to be a very vexing roommate. He was always leaving his things all around and hogging the shower in the morning and although he never has really teased me before it is obvious the friendship matt hadn't been placed outside his door for me. I heaved a sigh and decided to go down to dinner. I threw on my robes and looked at myself briefly in the mirror. What was originally a sideward glance turned into an intense staring contest. I wanted to understand why they hadn't brought me with them. My whole life I have been able to get things, to understand things, whether it is a spell or a riddle or anything and now I couldn't. I tried to think of what was wrong with me. I mean I am smart and I can hold my own I wouldn't have been any extra baggage I could pull my own weight. Then I looked at my outward appearance. I wasn't ugly. I was just me. The best word I could come up with was plain. Suddenly I was rummaging through my room looking for something to put my hair up with. I managed to find a simple white hair ribbon. I straightened my hair with a charm I learned during 4th year for the Yule Ball but never really used again. Then I put my hair up in a half ponytail and tied it with the ribbon. I looked at myself again in the mirror. "Innocent." I thought to myself as I gazed at my reflection. I started to laugh. I don't know why it wasn't really funny. I guess the fact that I looked innocent was funny to me because I had seen so much. I was at the first battle. It was then that I started to feel the loose of Harry and Ron, when I was on the battlefield staring down a faceless death eater alone. I know that Ginny was there and of course the whole Weasley clan minus Ron but it didn't feel the same. It wasn't the same.

No one believed that we lost. I remember after we retreated there was an eerie silence only broken by some sobs and heavy sighs. It's as if by not talking about it they were denying it ever happened. However, when we returned to the site of the battle we realized it was true. The death eaters had taken the men that they found and chopped of they're heads and had them levitating above their bodies. We didn't know where the women were until we found the note that a headless body had clutched in its hand.

"Submit or this bloodshed will never end. Mudblood lovers are warned. Don't expect any mercy from us. And Lord Voldemort would like to thank you for supplying the mudblood loving whores." I remember the men whose wives he had taken were crying and the women were crying over their lost love ones. Everyone was crying. Except for me. I had to stay strong. I had to stay strong for them.

As I replayed the story in my mind silent tears that I would never let fall in public streamed down my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was just about to take out the ribbon when I stopped and brought my hand down to my side. "Maybe the illusion of innocence is more important than actually being innocent." I thought. I wiped the tears from my eyes threw on my robe and walked out the door. I walked into the Great Hall and sat down next to Neville who had his head stuck in some Herbology book.

"Hey Neville." I said while grabbing a roll. He nodded in return obviously more interested in his book. I wasn't mad I mean that would just be hypocritical seeing as how I have been in Neville's same position many times before. I looked around the Great Hall, you would think that people would withdraw their children from school because of the war but actually it was quite the opposite. People wanted their children to learn how to defend themselves and everyone thought that Hogwarts was the safest place for them. So the Great Hall looked like it always had except with McGonogall as the Headmistress and a few vacant seats at some tables seeing as some of the students were off fighting in the war. After I ate my roll I didn't feel hungry anymore so I got up and made my way out of the Great Hall nodding my goodbye's as I went. I lazily walked through the corridors heading towards the head dorms. As I rounded the last corner I was suddenly met with an alarming sight. Some one was limping towards the head dorm. Upon my first instinct I drew out my wand.

"Hey!" I yelled at the mysterious man with my wand outstretched. I walked a couple of steps closer. He dropped his wand and slowly turned around. I gasped when I saw his face but it wasn't the fact that he was bleeding from a cut on his forehead and that he looked like he got into a fist fight with a troll. I gasped because as he looked at me with his heavy pain stricken eyes I realized whom he was. I was face to face with none other than Draco Malfoy. The same Draco Malfoy that attempted to kill Dumbledore and has prided himself on hating mudbloods like me. My eyes widened in fear that I was ashamed to express.

"Granger." He croaked as if it pained him to speak. Then he swayed and fell to his knees and started coughing. I saw that he was coughing blood. With my wand in hand I bent down and put my wand under his chin.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?" I asked with malice. Mustering up all the courage I could. He tried to respond but just started hacking again.

"Granger." He said again. I looked into his eyes and I got lost in them. They held so much pain but it was more than just physical pain. I don't know what came over me but I dropped my wand and positioned him on his back and I held his head in my arms. We both stared at each other. His gray ice melting into my deep brown. His hand reached up and curled around the ribbon in my hair and pulled it out which caused my hair to fall into my eyes.

"Granger get Blaise." He chocked out before his eyes closed and his body went limp. My stomach dropped. I checked his pulse and was relieved to find one. I looked around franticly. I saw the heads portrait. I put my robe under Malfoy's head and ran to it said the password and ran in.

"BLAISE!" I yelled sprinting up the stairs to his room and banging on the door. "BLAISE OPEN UP IT'S IMPORTANT!" I yelled.

"Will you stop that!" his portrait screamed at me.

"I'm sorry it's just I need to find Blaise." I stated franticly

'Look I heard him saying something about hanging out in the Slytherin common room ok." The portrait replied

"Thank you so much!" I said before sprinting down the stairs and out the door. I stopped and checked that Malfoy's pulse was still there and when I was reassured I started running in the direction of the Slytherin common room. I didn't know why I cared so much. I suppose after all the death and destruction I had seen I just wanted to help someone for a change instead of retreating. I reasoned to myself that I wanted him alive because he could provide us with information about Voldemort. I ran down the last flight of stairs but tripped on the second to last step and fell. I looked down and saw that my right knee was bleeding but I didn't care I got up and ran to the Slytherin common room portrait. I tried to say the password but I was so out of breath I couldn't. It took a minute to get it out and when I did I burst through the portrait. When I got inside all of the Slytherin's we congregated in the common room and were all laughing at me.

"Shut up all of you! Where's Blaise!" I screamed

"Granger why see Blaise when you could have me all to yourself?" Some random Slytherin said to me while getting up from his char and circling around me like a predator stalking its prey. I felt for my wand but it wasn't there. My eyes widened as I remember that I dropped it when I fell down the stairs. "What's this no wand? This is way too easy Ms. Granger." He said while sliding his arm around my waist. The other Slytherin's were snickering now. I went to slap him but he caught my wrist in mid swing. "Come on now Granger you know you want me." He whispered in my ear.

"Where's Blaise?" I said lamely

"Get the fuck off of her Nott." Said Blaise as he descended the stairs into the common room. I heaved a sigh and ran up to him. Only pausing to think it odd that Blaise stuck up for me.

"Blaise, Malfoy is here." I whispered into his ear.

"What?" He yelled gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

" Yeah. I found him trying to get into our common room. He told me to get you. Blaise, he's in pretty bad shape." I whispered.

"Come on." He said and grabbed my wrist and started running. We ran out of the common room then he let go of me and let me run behind him.

When we go to the foot of the stairs I looked around for my wand as he ran on. It took me a while to find it seeing as I had somehow kicked it in the corner of the corridor. When I found it I raced up the stairs and through corridors that seemed to be endless. When I finally got to the head's portrait it took all of the wind left in me to just say the password. I went through the portrait and looked around. It was quiet. No one was there. I started to walk but something didn't feel right and I looked down at my shoes and saw that there was blood on them from the floor. I followed the trail of blood up to Blaise's room. I pounded on the door much to the displeasure of Blaise's portrait. I didn't hear anything and knew instantly that he must have placed a silencing charm on his room. I pounded harder until suddenly the portrait flew open.

"WHAT!" Blaise screamed. I was taken aback not just from the sheer violence in his voice but from the sight of him. There was blood all over his shirt and hands.

"Blaise I can help." I stated firmly.

"No, you would just get in the way." He replied.

"How dare you I know just as much about healing as you do you arrogant prat!" I scolded.

"You don't know what spells to use against this Hermione, trust me." He said

"What do you mean?" I asked my curiosity peaked. There was not much I didn't know and for someone to even suggest that I didn't know something was a rare occurrence.

"It's powerful dark magic Hermione." He stated

"I still don't see why I can't-"

"Look if you wait for me in the common room I'll explain everything later I don't have time to fight with you. He doesn't have much time Hermione." He stated as he cut me off. I saw the plea in his eyes. So I nodded and descended the stairs and took a seat on the couch. I stared into the fireplace my mind racing with questions. However with the progression of the night my eyelids became heavier and heavier until I finally let them close. Suddenly I was jostled from my sleep as someone sat at the other end of the couch. I opened my eyes and realized it was Blaise. I instantly sat right up. I could see he had changed and washed up. He looked so tired. For a while we sat there in silence.

"How is he?" I inquired softly.

"He'll survive." He stated

"What happened?"

"I don't know but he was hit with some really powerful hexes." He replied

"What kind of hexes?"

"Well, one of them makes it so you get deep wounds all over your stomach but the clincher is that it happens from the inside out and I think they put him under the imperious curse and made him stab himself and break his own wrist. I don't quite know the intricate details of the other ones." He said while staring into the fire. I felt so bad for Malfoy and I didn't know why. I mean wasn't he my sworn enemy? Didn't he let the death eaters into the castle last year?

"Who are "they"?" I asked

"Death Eaters."

"But I thought he was a Death Eater." I said bewildered.

"He's not like them, he never has been."

"What do you mean?"

"He's not a murderer Hermione. His father knew this and tried to beat the compassion out of him but his mother would never let that happen."

"I had no idea." I said

"You wouldn't would you. His pride would never let anyone think his life was anything less than perfect. And plus his cruel exterior was the only thing keeping him alive."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since he was 10" There was a long silence and I just let the information I had just learned sink in. I didn't know why but I wanted to help.

"So what do we do now?" I asked

"We?"

"Yes we, I'm part of this to." I said matter of factly.

"He won't like that."

"Well he's just going to have to deal with it now isn't he?" I said. Blaise smiled a little.

"Guess so. He needs to take his medication at 9 every night until he's fully recovered and since I have Quidditch practice on weekdays your going to have to do it. Think you can handle that?"

"Oh yes I think I up to the unbelievably challenging task of giving him his medication." I said dripping with sarcasm. Blaise smiled again.

"Well, just making sure." He said as he got up to go to his room. "Oh and my password is bloody gryffindors." He said with a playful smirk.

"Hardy Har Har very funny Blaise now what is it really?"

"No that's really it."

"Are you serious?"

"Completely." He stated before going up the stairs.