Hi! Haha. This is my first fanfic ever, so um. Don't flame me. Please. I tried to make it as realistic as I could, because I don't like OoC's very much. But, yeah. Haha. If you're confused about something, just ask me in your review, or if there's something to correct, tell me, please. I hope you like it.

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Tobi took everything the wrong way.

It was sad, really, but good for him, I suppose.

Take for example, one night at the Akatsuki lair…

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Deidara was in his workshop, carefully experimenting with his clay, trying to create a new piece of art. He was trying to create something to bang Itachi out of his senses, to show that he was capable of defeating that stupid Sharingan. It was going pretty well, considering the amount of disturbances he had to constantly endure.

Those disturbances being another name for Tobi.

Evil with a cute name.

"Deidara-sempai!!"

The said above sempai jumped and cursed as the carefully molded leg detached from the body and fell to the ground.

"Dammit, Tobi! Why do you always interrupt me when I'm creating great works of art, un?" he demanded as the exuberant Akatsuki member bounced into his workshop, waving a skillet in one hand. He reattached the leg to the body.

"I'm sorry, Deidara-sempai, but it's time for dinner!" Tobi said, sounding a bit hurt as he straightened out his pink apron.

Deidara resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Tobi was wearing an apron. A pink one, for heaven's sake. He was an embarrassment to mankind. "Whatever. I'm coming, un," he muttered, as he carefully placed his work of art on the table. He stood up and followed Tobi out of his workshop and through the winding hallways.

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"Deidara."

"Un?"

"You have a meeting with the villagers of the Hidden Cloud Village tomorrow. You will go by yourself. Make sure you get information on the Jinchuuriki," the leader said, his eyes glittering with the unfinished message: Or else.

"Yes sir," Deidara muttered, swallowing his mouthful of rice.

Tobi gasped. "Without me? But, but I would like a mission too, Leader-sama!"

Deidara's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically behind Tobi's back.

Konan spoke up. "Um, Tobi, I'll give you a mission."

Tobi whipped his hair towards the blue-haired woman. "Really?! Konan-san would really do that?"

Konan nodded. "I noticed that the lair has been dirty lately, probably since this place is filled with filthy, lazy men."

Everyone except Itachi and the Leader flinched at this.

"So, your mission will be to clean this hideout thoroughly by tomorrow, no later than dinner time," Konan concluded.

"Yes! I will make Konan-san proud!" Tobi saluted, and stood up so quickly that his chair toppled to the ground.

Everyone winced.

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Tobi sat back, exhausted. He had just finished cleaning the enormous living room, which took two hours, since he had to be extremely careful with the furniture. They were all antiques, even the sofas, and Leader-sama would have assured a slow, painful death for Tobi if he ruined anything.

Tobi had slept extra early the night before, in order to get a good night's sleep. He had woken up at five in the morning, excited about his mission. Quickly, he had donned an apron and grabbed a duster, and had tramped merrily down the stairs, consequently waking up everyone and panicking them.

Light sleepers that they all were, they thought they were under attack.

Needless to say, the Leader was not very amused.

Tobi gritted his teeth with determination. All the more reason to pass with flying colors, to make up for his clumsy mistakes. After all, Tobi is a good boy.

He stood up and went into the kitchen. Mop, sweep, clean, dust…

"Tobi? Leader-sama said that-"

Tobi turned from his precariously balanced position. (He was reaching up to dust a corner in the ceiling, balanced on one foot, and on tip-toe for that matter. So he only turned his head. X3)

Standing at the kitchen entrance was Kisame, who was gaping at him.

Kisame's POV:

Kisame walked into the kitchen, saying, "Tobi? Leader-sama said that-"

He stopped mid-sentence. Never had he seen a stranger sight. A full grown man (Tobi) was wearing an apron, and a pink one at that. And he was dusting. Good God. How did he make it into the Akatsuki, again?

Back to Tobi:

"Oh! Hello Kisame-san! Is everything all right? You look a bit funny." He finished dusting the ceiling corner and returned to a normal standing position.

"I, n-no, um," Kisame stammered. "Leader-sama says that he wants breakfast right now."

"Ok!" Tobi said cheerfully. He set the duster aside and started the elaborate breakfast the leader usually demanded.

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After breakfast, Tobi went out to buy some things, and when he came back, went up to the second story to clean everyone's rooms. He started with Hidan's, making the bed, wiping the bloodstains, and setting down new toiletries in the bathroom. Really, Hidan did stink quite often of blood. He even placed a bottle of rose petals on the sink, in case Hidan wanted to take a rose-water bath, and changed the ragged towels for some fluffier ones.

He didn't bother going into Hidan's ritual room though. The religious-freak would castrate him for going into a holy room…

Next was Kakuzu's room. He carefully and meticulously polished the miser's accounting equipment, and organized his many spools of threads in rainbow order. Another ten minutes was used to polish the rare coins hanging on the wall.

After, he made his way to Zetzu's room, carefully watering all the plants and straightening out some things here and there. There wasn't much to do, since Zetzu was pretty neat about things.

He then went into Kisame's room, marveling at the aquarium that took up a whole wall. He polished the glass and gave the fish some food. He also thoughtfully placed a bottle of lotion on the stand, figuring that Kisame's skin/fish scales would get dry easily when out of water.

Quietly, he snuck into the Uchiha's room, wary of Itachi. However, he had nothing to worry about, since, one: the homicidal (and practically blind) man wasn't there. Two: There wasn't anything to do except fixing the bed.

Then, he made his way to Deidara's room. The artist had left for his meeting a while ago. Tobi scraped off old clay from the furniture, and dusted the corners. He also placed a bag of clay on his desk. It wasn't explosive clay, since he had no idea where he could find any. He posted a note next to it. It read:

"Deidara-sempai, here is some quality clay for you to play with. It's not explosive, but you can use it for recreational purposes.

Tobi"

Finally, he made his way into Konan's room. She was very neat, and extremely organized. There were tons of origami on the shelves, each labeled and with a glass case over them. Tobi polished the cases and set a pack of high-quality origami paper on Konan's desk, and showed himself out.

Satisfied, Tobi went to do the laundry, having picked up many dirty boxers and socks in the members' rooms. He was too scared to go into Leader's room. Who knew what secrets Leader kept in there?

After he finished, which was some time later, he went around spraying air freshener around the lair.

Exhausted, Tobi collapsed onto a sofa in the den. He had cleaned the kitchen, everyone's rooms, the living room, the workshop…

Oh! He had forgotten Deidara's workshop!

Quickly, he scuttled off, mop and broom in hand.

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Tobi cautiously opened the door and peeked in. It was dimly lit, and no sign of any traps. However, it was rather dusty, and he immediately got to work.

A few minutes later, Tobi finished dusting and started mopping the floor. It was extremely grimy, and Tobi had to scrub rigorously to get some of the stains off. His face became flushed under his orange mask. After a while, he moved to the other side of the room and mopped again. However, as he was dipping the mop in the bucket, something large caught his eye.

He gasped as he realized that it was a monstrous statue of some strange, exotic animal. Tobi rushed over to it, arms waving excitedly, his attention riveted on the strange object. Thus, he failed to notice how his mop had connected with an object on Deidara's desk, and had thrown it into the air, landing with a muffled thump on the ground. Even that was drowned out by Tobi's oohing and ahing, as he marveled over the sculpture.

As Tobi circled the sculpture, he noticed a clock hidden behind it, hanging on the wall, and he gasped. It was almost time for dinner! And the mission deadline was by dinner time!

Quickly, Tobi grabbed the mop and mopped furiously on the half of the room that was still dirty. After taking one last glance around, he flew out of the room, mop and bucket in hand. In his haste, he didn't notice the ruined piece of art lying desolately on the floor.

–tumbleweed rolls by-

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"Oh! Deidara-sempai! Welcome back!" Tobi cried as the disgruntled artist stomped into the dining room, where the other members were eating.

"Save me some dinner, un. I'm going to work a bit more on my art before I eat. Un."

"First, the meeting. Did you get any information?" Pein said, looking up from his plate of food.

"Oh. The Jinchuuriki's a girl, about ten years old. Nothing we can't handle. She lives by herself in some locked up house with really tight security, because the idiot villagers are scared of her," Deidara snorted. "Argh. They gave me all that trouble for nothing, un. I had to hand over like, three-fourths of the gold Kakuzu gave me before they told me anything."

"Hnn," the leader replied. "We will have a briefing on this after dinner, for more details."

"Sure, un," Deidara muttered. He exited the dining room, his stomps echoing through the lair.

Tobi munched thoughtfully on his rice, and was about to bring up the subject of his just-completed mission to Konan, when he heard a shriek.

"AAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tobi choked.

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Haha. I hoped you liked it. Um, to clear up some things you might not be sure about:

1. When Tobi went out to buy some things, he was buying presents to place in everyone's rooms. That's where he got all those items.

2. Yes, this is taking place after Sasori died. But –spoiler ahead if you haven't read this far!!- Deidara hasn't died yet. I needed him for this. x)

3. And yes, -another spoiler- I know that Kakuzu and Hidan are supposed to be dead, but really, where's the fun in that?

Well, I hope you enjoyed. Please review!

Next chapter: Deidara's reaction. Which you just got a preview of. x)