His power was something he'd shrouded himself in for a long time.
He'd use it as a blanket, to protect himself from the outside world. Or maybe to protect the outside world from him..
He didn't know anymore.
The point was, he'd has his powers for a very long time and they were almost like a safety net to him now.
Whenever he was having a rough time -like when Anael disobeyed- he'd find a quiet place to just sit and feel his power was over him.
It made him feel invincible.
Of course, he was anything but.
He may've been an angel but he knew that even he had his limits, despite not being sent to Earth for over 2000 years he knew there were still dangers there.
So of course when he was sent to collect Dean Winchester from Hell he was cautious. He led the attack and shouted orders and his subordinates while at the same time he tried to keep his voice from wavering.
And then, everything changed.
When they reached Dean Winchester and Castiel saw his fractured yet beautiful soul, everything began to crumble.
Dean Winchester was an enigma.
No matter what Castiel did, he couldn't work him out.
Dean said peculiar things, he had no variety in his life, and he was oh so broken but still tried to soldier on.
He disregarded his own worries in favour of looking after his brother. The need to protect Sam was so deeply ingrained that it was probably taught to him since before he could even think for himself.
And so, Castiel was intrigued.
This man who disregarded believing in a higher power such as Castiel's father and instead chose to view everything as it was.
He's seen things this way from when he was 4 years old despite the fact that most humans use their beliefs as a blanket to shield their eyes from evil.
He was tough, but he was kind. He was smart, but he pretended not.
Castiel was at a loss whenever he tried to understand Dean Winchester.
So of course, he stuck around.
Appeared in places he didn't need to be, tried to offer veiled guidance that wouldn't catch the ears of the Choir.
And so Dean started to trust him.
They got closer.
And closer.
He wasn't Castiel anymore.
He was Cas.
And then came the time of Armageddon.
He was so tired.
Sick of being pulled in two different directions -one saying Dean is right, the other saying that the other angels are his family.
So, he broke.
It was only natural he supposed.
To give up everything you've ever known for what's right.
Something occurred to him though while he was standing, waiting to face Raphael's wrath.
He would fall.
He wouldn't have his powers anymore.
He wouldn't have the security blanket he'd relied on for so long.
And that's when it hit him.
He'd given everything up for one man.
One small human being who he believed had the potential to be glorious.
This one human could change everything.
And the entire time he'd have Cas supporting him.
Cas would give anything to not have to leave Dean's side again.
He'd stay with him forever if possible.
One of his most recent memories of Gabriel takes the form of Gabriel trying to sneak of to meet with Aphrodite -the Greek goddess of love.
Castiel was puzzled by Aphrodite.
What exactly was her purpose?
Was she supposed to bestow familial love onto people?
The love he thought he felt for his family.
So of course he asked Gabriel.
Gabriel's eyes had gleamed when Castiel finished his question.
"Well you see Cassie, humans are a very complex species. They have a whole wide range of emotions -anger, jealousy, lust, love. Love is the most powerful of them. It's hard to describe what it feels like if you're not in love but I'll try and explain it to ya kiddo.
When you're in love your whole world revolves around that person. They're the first thing you want to see when you wake up, and the last thing you want to see before you go to sleep. You want to kiss them and make them happy just because you can. You want to make sure nothing will hurt them ever again. Whenever you think about someone like that and you hold affections for them, come and tell me okay?"
Castiel had simply thought Gabriel was insane at the time.
Now though, he thinks he might understand.