Why I kill
By Gacktosan
Disclaimer: I do not own GW or any of the characters.
Cold, methodical, unfeeling, all are words that are frequently used to describe me. Not that I care. I am here to do a job, and that is all that matters to me. My job is, essentially, to fight for the colonies. At least, that is what J told me it was. It is also what the other pilots believe their mission to be. At first, I thought I would be the only one here. That turned out to be incorrect after I met Duo. Soon after, I became acquainted with Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Sometimes their lack of discipline unnerves me. I cannot understand how they can be so flippant about the situation we are in. We are here to do a job, and that is all that should matter. To them, it seems as if that is a secondary goal. As if it is something they can do at their own leisure. They look to me with disbelieving looks in their eyes, almost as if they think that I am the one with the problems. It makes me wonder sometimes. Should I be more like them, and care more about the small things? Should I be like Duo and try to find the good in everything? They call me the 'Perfect Soldier' because I always put the mission above all else. They act as if the only things that concern me are the mission and killing, when in reality I just want to be done with this. I want to wash my hands of this pointless war and try to live out the rest of my life in anonymity. Why can't they realize this? I strive to be perfect at what I do because I know that the sooner this is over, the sooner innocent people stop dying. Sure, I've taken my fair share of them, and there can be no justification for that, but it doesn't bother me. They call me unfeeling because of this. They think I'm cold-blooded because I feel no remorse. They don't realize that the past cannot be changed. That they cannot fix the wrongs that have been committed. I do not feel grief because there is no reason to. If I had done something that I could change, then I might despair, but it's a pointless waste of time to feel like I must make up for what I've done. They fail to realize that civilians have the freedoms that they do because of soldiers like me. Innocent people can live because I destroy the evil ones. A pregnant woman can give birth tomorrow, and bring her child into the world because soldiers like me have fought for the people throughout history. Humankind would have long ago been wiped out if it were not for people like me. People call me a murderer, but I am no more the murderer than the 'righteous' soldier's fighting in favor of the subjugation of the colonies. Nor am I any less a murderer. I am a piece on one side of the game, as are they. As is everyone in the universe. The sooner they learn this, the sooner people can begin living in peace. The sooner people can begin living in harmony, and working together to improve the human race. This is what I fight for. This is why I take the lives I take.