Pairing: Sara Sidle & Sofia Curtis

Rating: R

Spoiler warning: None!

Warning: Mature sexual content and coarse language. Femslash, but if you weren't into gay stories you wouldn't be here… Right?

Disclaimer: Some of the characters and situations in this story belong to Alliance Atlantis, CBS, Anthony Zuicker and other entities, and I do not have permission to borrow them. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes.Any errors are mine.

Summary: A look into my own alternate universe…

20 miles down the road…

Prologue

Sara was lying on her couch, staring at the ceiling. She groaned as the doorbell rang. She pushed the blanket aside and walked to the door. Peering through the peephole in the door, she inhaled sharply.

Shit!

Sara instinctively took a step back from the door as she tried to decide what to do.

"Sara, come on, I know you're in there..."

Taking a deep breath, Sara pulled open the door to find Catherine standing on her doorstep.

"We need to talk."

It was a simple statement, Sara moved to the side to let her in. She closed her eyes as she gently shut the door.

"Would you... uh... like a drink?"

Catherine stared at her, "sure if you are."

Sara gave her a brief nod as she walked towards the liquor cabinet. "Is wine alright?"

"Yes that's fine."

Sara bit her lip gently as she poured them a glass of wine. She picked up the drinks and walked across the room, handing one to the blonde. "So... uh... what would you like to talk about?"

"Thanks…" Catherine leaned back into the edge of the couch, one leg draped down to the floor, the other splayed out on the upholstery fabrics. She took a drink of her wine and dropped her strawberry blonde hair across the arm of the couch. Sara swirled the liquid around in the wineglass and appeared to be intently studying the fluid dynamics of the beverage's motion.

She stared at the brunette through darkened eyes. "You and Sofia!" Her voice was somewhat calm, but Sara could hear the annoyance in her tone. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I'm not discussing this with you." It came out as a soft mutter, no louder than a whisper under her breath.

"This game you play, Sara. Pulling her in, only to push her away again..."

"I'm not playing a..." Taking a deep breath, Sara counted to ten before she exhaled slowly. She hung her head for a moment before looking into the blonde's eyes. "Catherine, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not blind...I see how the two of you act together. You are making her crazy. That much I do know."

"I'm making her crazy?" Sara shouted back, slamming the glass down too hard on the coffee table, sloshing some of its contents on the glossy wooden surface. "Shit!" She exclaimed under her breath, jumping up to get a paper towel.

"So I take it the feeling is mutual," Catherine ventured, raising her voice so that she could be heard in the kitchen.

"Whatever," she answered without elucidation, sopping up the liquid before it could mar the wood's surface.

"Wow. This is a big step for you, Sara. You have actually almost acknowledged a feeling. Maybe you should explore whether there are more feelings that are mutual between you," she added wryly, taking another sip of wine.

When Sara didn't reply, she sat up. She leaned in towards her, letting a soothing tone replace the harsh one she had been using. "Tell me what's going on."

"What are the chances that you'll accept that it's none of your business and leave me in peace?" Sara asked with a hint of hopefulness.

"Hmm. I'd say the odds are somewhere in the neighborhood of one in a billion," Catherine replied with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Nothing. Nothing is going on." Sara drained the last of the glass, and looked wistfully at it, as though there was momentous significance to its emptiness.

"No shit!" Catherine replied rolling her eyes. "And why is that? For awhile, you work together all the time. Everyone could see that you two were attracted to each other. Geez, every time we saw you together you we could feel the heat in the room. Then you all the sudden start to pullback and avoid her without telling her why."

"What was I suppose to do?" Sara asked hotly. "It's pretty evident she wasn't interested when she started dating someone else."

"Oh please…" Catherine huffed. "Sara... she isn't an issue. You do know that, right?"

"No...I don't." Sara spat out bitterly.

"She's confused Sara and doesn't know what to do. You keep sending her mixed signals."

"I tried the best I could."

"Well, I doubt that. You jumped to conclusions. You took one incident and created an entire scenario that played on a continuous loop in your mind. Did you try to tell her how you feel?"

"Not in so many words." she added with finality, pouring herself another glass of wine, this time almost to the top. She took a long swig and set it down.

"Why can't you two just see what's in front of you?" She gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Do you plan on ignoring this forever?"

"How can I with you here?" Sara stated dryly, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Listen Cath, she made her choice. Why can't you just respect that? If someone else makes her happy, then why can't you just let it be?"

"Because she's not happy. Actually I think she might leave."

"Maybe she should leave, Catherine. Have you considered that? Maybe she should start fresh somewhere else. She can find someone she loves and loves her back."

"Is that what you want, Sara? Do you want her to leave?" Catherine asked evenly, tilting her head to the side and pinning her gaze on the brunette.

"Yes! No! …I don't know! But at least it could give her a chance at finding happiness."

"Why are you doing this? Why don't you just talk to her?" She continued, "And what about you? You... you deserve to be happy, Sara. Just like everyone else. You haven't been happy lately. The only time I've seen you happy... is whenever you're working with her."

"Cath, I don't know what to say... I just don't know. Everything I do seems to be wrong... everything I say comes out in the wrong way... all I do is upset her or make her angry.

"You know... sometimes, actions speak louder than words..."

"So it said…" Sara said dismissively. "It... I don't know how to... She didn't look at her friend. She kept staring straight ahead, her hands returning to the wineglass. She shook her head. "No, in the long run she'll be better off with someone else."

"I seriously doubt that" Catherine's head tilted to the side. "There's only one person who will make her happy. And there's only one person who will make you happy."

"You've been reading too many romance novels," Sara quipped.

Catherine pouted dramatically. "Oh, in my spare time?"

"My point is, Catherine, it won't happen."

"My point is, Sara, it could happen."

The two friends fell into silence, their energies for argument spent, knowing that they would never convince the other - at least not today.

There wasn't really anything keeping her there. Maybe the work had been interesting and captivating at one time, but now it was becoming a means to an end: hers. It wasn't enough anymore. Now what she wanted to forget was an integral part of her job.

Every morning she left feeling more and more weak and feigned. Every day she walked to her car, her feet dragging on the pavement, her arms swaying heavily at her sides, her head bowed as though it were too heavy. Indeed, it was filled to the brim with questions and concerns, ideas and possibilities that refused to rest until they were given their due. She would sit in her car, hands on the steering wheel for anchor purposes. It was a calming place to be after the hustle and bustle of CSI headquarters with investigators and lab techs running to and fro trying to beat the clock in cases.

Sofia gripped the steering wheel, flexing her fingers as she stared at the building before her. This promised to be an uncomfortable meeting. Taking a last swig of her coffee, she grimaced at the coldness. She'd been sitting out here longer than she realized. Getting out of her car, she ran her eyes around the surroundings. She quickly walked to the front door, keeping her gaze straight-ahead.

The white-floored hall seemed to stretch on forever in front of her. But she finally reached the open door to Grissom's office.

Tapping on the doorframe, she offered up a weak smile as Grissom raised his eyes from the file. Looking over his reading glasses, he distantly spoke: "Oh, hi, Sofia. What do you need?"

"I, um, I wanted to ask you a favor... if you've got a minute." She shifted nervously from foot to foot, arms crossed defensively across her chest.

"Come in. Have a seat." Grissom's face pinched into a genuine look of concern, as he asked her what favor she needed from him.

Sofia sat heavily in the chair, obviously burdened with more than she could gracefully bear. She found herself looking at her hands, then the wall over Grissom's left shoulder. She kept trying to force herself to look at him. Shifting back to the studied examination of her fidgeting hands, she finally spoke.

"You know the director of the lab, and Brass is one of your good friends, right?"

"Well sure, I know him and yes Brass and I have worked together for a long time. Why do you ask?"

"I'd like, uh, well, I was wondering... I mean, I'd like if I could get transfer somewhere else. Preferably into the police department, I'd like to resume back to my original choice of a career."

"You don't have to go." Grissom said, having trouble accepting the fact. "Want to talk about it?"

Sofia shook her head, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, I do. My life sucks. My career is tanking. There's nothing here for me but a dead-end. It's time to move on and pull myself back up by my bootstraps."

"I'd hate to see you go, Sofia. You are so good at what you do. I know I haven't told you that very often, but..."

"Well, I can still be good in another unit of law enforcement." Sofia tried to lighten the mood a little, adding, "Just try to find me a job somewhere decent, will you?"

"I'll see what I can do. But it may take awhile, so be patient."

"Okay, well, thank you. I appreciate you doing this for me."

"I know that you and the others don't think much of my supervisory or people skills, but I would never try to keep you here if you are truly unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, I do have feelings, and I do want people to be happy."

"I know. You're a good man, Grissom. Thank you for all the things you have taught me. I'll miss you." Sofia turned out of her chair and bolted out of the door and down the hall.

Tbc…