I don't know why I can't answer her feelings. I love her, but at the same time I'm terrified of her. The memory of the accident is still fresh in my mind. I know she didn't do it on purpose, but what's stopping her from snapping and doing it all over again?

Just Be Friends

ジェミニ
~Team GEMINI~

雛森.N

She sat in the chair farthest from me, staring blankly outside the window with her chin resting lithely in the palm of her hand. The distant look she had in her eyes, combined with her hairstyle, gave her a rather regal look—a princess trapped forever within a dull universe. I noticed her sighing when she began twirling a lock of hair between her thumb and index finger. I wonder what kind of day dream was playing in my princess's mind today. Was it a sacchariferous dream filled with strawberries and cake, or was it a bittersweet dreamed filled with thoughts of me and our convoluted situation? My heart told me the answer would be the latter, but there were still other parts of me that wished otherwise.

Looking at the pulchritudinous young woman sitting in the next room, I opened my mouth to say something, but the only sound that came out was a small, hoarse squeak that barely caught her attention. I quickly pursed my lips together to stifle out the noise, because the last thing I wanted was to break the silent tranquility between us.

But it was too late.

Fate furrowed her eyebrows together in annoyance, her eyes taking a quick glimpse at me before turning back to the window. She struggled to return to her dream world, but the moment was gone and I had made my unwanted presence known. I tried my best to obscure myself by taking small, timid steps backwards and enough precaution so I could avoid all noise, but Fate had her deep sanguine orbs fixated at me in a shallow, lifeless gaze. Her eyes looked duller than I remembered them to be, maybe it was just the light, or maybe it was just me, but today Fate's eyes reflected a defeated shade of red.

I was tempted to say something to break the awkward silence between us, but the image before me was picture perfect. A princess who was almost a queen, waited patiently for the day when her Prince Charming would come to rescue her from the decadent hell she resided in; however, when our eyes finally met, I couldn't help but sigh. Just looking at her made my heart feel heavy with guilt and regret—even though she was the one at fault.

"Nanoha, stop glaring at me," Fate rudely demanded, her voice low and hostile, but the look in her eyes didn't change. They were still so dead inside. "I didn't do anything wrong," She added for emphasis, but I really could care less at this point.

"You slept with her." I stated coldly, surprised by the hostility in my own voice. I knew from the moment I spoke those words my attenuating relationship with Fate would crash and burn in a matter of seconds if I didn't think of something fast.

Fate rolled her eyes and leaned back into her chair, sliding down till her head was nestled securely in the palm of her hand. "Like I said, I didn't do anything wrong." She strongly repeated.

"How can you say you didn't do anything wrong?" I screamed out just to see if I could get a reaction from her, any reaction would have been nice, but Fate didn't move a muscle. She just sat in her chair abhorrently beautiful as always and looked at me as if I was accusing her of committing an indelible sin—in fact I was. "You cheated on me!"

Aa, that did it. That definitely did it.

Fate rose to her feet and marched up to me, the phosphorescent fire in her eyes suddenly ignited in a fit of unbridled rage. "Cheated on you, Nanoha? How can I cheat on you if we were never together in the first place?"

I took a step back and faltered. I really did it now.

"I-I thought so…" Fate sighed heavily and walked back to her chair her eyes not once meeting with mine, but I could still feel the hurt and confusion that was muddled up within them. Fate returned to her former position, this time she covered her eyes just to keep herself from looking forward. "Nanoha, you never made anything clear." She murmured quietly. "One moment you're madly in love with Yuuno, and next you're smothering me to the choking point whenever someone makes even the slightest advance towards me."

"Fate-chan, I—"

"Nanoha, I'm so confused." Cradling her head in her hands, Fate let out an anguished scream. I looked away for as long as I could, but once again… it was far too late.

The image was forever seared into my mind.

"I don't know what you want from me…" Fate mumbled as she looked up, her face streaked with tears. I wanted to make them go away, but I didn't know how to stop them. Fate was crying because of me. "Do you want us to be together? Do you want us to just stay friends? What! What do you want? Tell me what you want already! I'm tearing myself apart trying to figure you out."

"Fate-chan—"

"Fate-chan, Fate-chan, Fate-chan, Fate-chan! Is that all you can say, Nanoha! I'm trying to piece this goddamned puzzle together, but each time I try to connect something, you always take the pieces away and move it somewhere else…" Fate's choked sobs subsided for a mere instant before her tears started up again. "I'm getting so tired of reaching out. I'm so getting tired of trying to make you look at me."

I looked at the beautiful woman before me and realized just now how broken she was.

Fate was becoming a shadow of her former self; she was becoming muted thunder with stagnant lightning. I couldn't see the bright light that shone whenever she was present, instead I saw an achromatous void with a broken heart.

"I want us to be together," I hesitantly began, "But now that I know you're seeing someone else, I don't think I—"

"Don't think you can what, Nanoha?"

I smiled for a second, but I quickly forgot why. "Because I don't think I can handle sharing you with someone else," I answered half-heartedly. "I've always wanted to be with you. Always."

"I'm not seeing anyone… and if I was, you would have known. You are my best friend after all." Fate replied with a weak grin. I felt somewhat better knowing that she'd tell me if she found someone, but I still didn't like the idea someone else had touched what belonged solely to me.

Fate is mine.

"So why? If you wanted us to be together this whole time, why do you always push me aside for him?" Fate impertinently asked me, her voice sounding a little calmer than before. I prayed that her understanding wasn't false. "Tell me why is it that the moment he comes into the picture, I suddenly disappear? But the story is completely different when either Hayate or Suzuka playfully flirt with me. You honestly looked like you were about ready to Starlight Break the both of them into the next millennium!" Fate chuckled in a slightly deranged manner. "But funny thing is, even when they do hit on me, just as long as Yuuno is there, their words don't even reach your ears."

"Fate-chan, it isn't like that!" I balled my hand into a fist and took a deep breath. "I hate it when they shamelessly flirt with you. They know how I feel about you, but they still do it…"

"They're just teasing you," Fate whispered. "But what I don't understand is why am I always coming in second to Yuuno, when you know that you're in love with me?"

"I owe Yuuno a great deal, that's why." I confessed blatantly. The words just came out, I knew it was the truth, but looking at the hurt expression that marred Fate's beautiful features made me regret it instantly.

I should have lied.

I knew I should I have lied.

But I couldn't… and I don't know why.

"So you throw yourself at him like some common fangirl…" Fate deduced slowly. I could see she was trying her best to understand what I meant, but… I just don't think she understands. Not that I expected her to. "Just because you owe him?"

"Well… not in that context exactly—but close!"

"So tell me what I'm getting wrong here? I'm really curious," Fate growled at me with her eyebrow quirked in interest, sarcasm evident in her words.

I hesitated…

"Well, I'm waiting," Fate crossed her legs and placed her clasped hands on her lap. "I'm waiting for yet another one of Takamachi Nanoha's signature excuses."

I was at a loss for words.

"Come on Nanoha, you seemed so sure of yourself a moment ago. Where'd that haughty savoir-faire of yours go?" Fate laughed at me in almost the exact same manner her maniacal creator laughed. "Well? Come on Nanoha, you always act so calm and mature during these situations."

Fate was scaring me.

"Nanoha spit it out I'm getting impatient."

This wasn't my Fate.

My Fate would never raise her voice at me, nor would she be so impatient with me. No, something was definitely wrong here…

Fate stood up and flipped her hair; she didn't look at me with the expression she reserved only for me. She looked at me like as if I was a complete stranger who was keeping her from an important meeting with someone she held dear.

I saw myself in her eyes, but I couldn't feel anything when I looked further in.

She was looking right through me.

This was definitely not my Fate, because my Fate would never look at me like that. No matter the situation whether it was a battle between life and death, a small disagreement, a tense awkward moment, or one of our more heated encounters, my Fate would always look at me with a tender expression in her eyes focused on me and me alone. But right now at this very moment I was looking at a complete stranger, so why is my heart still pounding so much?

This person standing before me was a mere shell of the mighty lightning that once accompanied the storm.

So why do I still love her?

Why do I still love the lightning that burns away the forest? Maybe it's because I'm the rain. Then again, whenever there's lightning, rain will never be too far behind—that sounded too reversed for my liking.

I was the rain, gentle and comforting, but when push came to shove I would become a hailing downpour that would never surrender. I was a flurry of power that couldn't be contained, but I got cocky and drowned the whole world.

Hayate was the raging wind, you could never grasp her because she was always so far away, however, when you felt her, you knew right away that resistance was futile; the wind was a tangible force with unspeakable power.

And Fate, Fate was the lightning (beautiful, elegant, dazzling, and dangerous), but still, Fate was as gentle as a bright sunny day in mid-spring; she was the real show stopper. Faster than the speed of sound, more precise than a laser point and strong enough to leave the Earth quaking in fear when she attacked; Fate was probably the strongest of us all.

When all three of us were combined, thunder would roar with unbridled ferocity. And even the mere mention of our names stabbed fear into the hearts of villains across the universe—dogs of the military.

"I-I… don't know." I replied weakly.

Realization was setting in; the reason why I felt Fate staring through me was because the door was behind me. Fate was trying to escape from me and I was going to let her, but this gripping sensation of regret was shaking me to the core—I didn't want her to leave.

I didn't want to be alone.

"I think I've heard enough, Nanoha." Fate kept staring at me, but I couldn't feel the passion anymore. She seemed impatient with me, almost as if I had expended the final ounce of intrigue she had towards me. "You're upset because I was with someone other than you." I squirmed under Fate's gaze, but I couldn't tear myself away. "You want me, but you 'belong' to Yuuno. I belong to you, but you want nothing to do with me."

"No…" I breathed out.

Fate smiled at me sweetly as she dusted her mini-skirt and smoothed out her form fitting white blouse. I felt like time had slowed down to a crawl when her hands traveled over her large breasts and well toned abdomen. I noticed that one hand moved faster than the other, while the latter followed… trailing in betwixt the mouth-watering crevasse between her soft mounds of flesh and down the outlines of her vaguely visible abs—I just pictured my best friend naked… and I liked it.

"Okay, I think I've had enough of this… Nanoha, I'm tired." Fate mumbled, her words barely reaching me. She looked at me with crest fallen eyes; I felt a new wave of guilt wash over me. "I-I'll see you at school tomorrow…"

I looked to the ground when Fate walked passed me, but then I heard the sound of opportunity knocking.

"I-I… Fate-chan, wait!" I exclaimed as I desperately reached out for her. I grasped hold of her hand tightly, our fingers intertwining out of pure instinct—her hand was so cold! Fate whirled around and glared at me, but I saw no anger in her eyes. "I'll prove it to you. I'll prove to you that you're the one I want to be with, and that these feelings we share are real." I gave her hand one more reassuring squeeze and stared directly into her eyes. I saw a quick glimpse of the girl I fell in love with, of course that glimpse was just for a fraction of a second; I was turning Fate into a monster. "I love you."

I… lied?

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" she asked me in a mocking tone, completely ignoring my final statement.

"I can only show you if you're willing to listen to me." I said with a dangerous smile as I pulled her down to my level and kissed her as deeply as I could. I relished the sound of Fate's startled gasp as my tongue forced itself deep into her mouth—I've missed this. Opening an eye, I watched Fate slowly begin to submit herself to the kiss. I felt her shoulders relaxing and her tongue begin to wander, but her hands stayed put. She was scared of something, but what was it exactly?

Breaking the exchange and going back for quick chaste kiss, I looked up at Fate and frowned. "What's wrong?" I asked her as I seductively licked away the stray saliva on the edge of my lips. "You're normally more aggressive when we kiss—or is it me? Have I lost my touch?"

Fate's lateritious eyes had an austere expression, while her ambrosia like lips held a bittersweet smile—like the smile an angel made as it fell from grace.

Was Fate falling?

Was my white winged angel being avulsed from the heavens and thrust down into the depths of Hell?

No, Fate wasn't an angel, not anymore at least. I desecrated her and violently ripped her wings away long, long ago; Fate was the forbidden fruit that the sly snake in Paradise tempted me to pluck, and I devoured her as such—each and every drop of nectar she produced tantalizing to my taste buds.

My broken angel tasted so… heavenly.

"I'm just not feeling it anymore, Nanoha." Fate's words made my world stop abruptly. "You say one thing and do another, but in the end, you have something completely different in your head." Fate pried her hand away from my grasp and uncoiled the arm I had around her waist, not looking at me once. "I love you so much, but even I have my limits, and I've gone so far passed it that I've ended up at the starting point all over again."

"What?"

"Nanoha, I don't know how to make this any simpler than it already is." Fate growled. "You say you want me and that your feelings for me are real, but when it comes down to it, you won't give me your heart—and giving me your body in exchange doesn't count either."

Placing my hand on her right cheek, I gently nudged her to look in my direction to look at my pouting face. "Mou, Fate-chan, what can I do to make you believe me? I can't keep guessing here—"

"Be my girlfriend."

"Anything aside from that—how about a pony?" I said with a playful grin in hopes to lighten the mood.

Fate let out a disgruntled groan and scratched her head. "Why not? Why won't you be with me, Nanoha? You just said you wanted nothing more than to be with me—oh, I get it. You're scared about what Yuuno will think of you, am I right?" Fate emphasized Yuuno's name with a nasty scowl, it looked as if just saying his name made her sick to her stomach.

"No, of course not! I-I just… don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship yet." I replied with a sheepish grin, my head sinking into my shoulders as I tried to distance myself from the evident anger that was racking through Fate's body. "I am only seventeen after all…"

"You're willing to sleep with me, but you're not willing want to be with me."

"N-Nyahaha?"

"Ahahaha… hahaha!" Fate burst out in hysterical laughter, causing me to jump back in surprise. She threw her head back and continued to laugh at me. "Oh you're rich, Nanoha! Ahahaha!" she exclaimed, her eyes trembling as she fought back the tears that were beginning to spilling over.

Once again, Fate was crying because of me.

"Fate-chan, stop it, please..." I begged.

I hated seeing her like this, last time I saw this side of Fate was when I was in the hospital recovering from my accident. Who would have thought that the first thing I'd see, after all of my "life saving" surgeries, was the image of my best friend drenched in the blood of the civilians we desperately fought to protect. I still haven't forgotten the cold distant look she had in her eyes, as well as that deranged grin that continuously haunts me in my dreams.

On that day, I saw Precia's shadow on the pale blue wall instead of Fate's.

"Stop what, Nanoha? Do you want me to stop the time? Do you want me to stop the whole fucking world just so you can get over yourself?" Fate spat out tempestuously. I watched fearfully as she began to tremble with rage—was this image, the same image that countless innocents saw before Fate slaughtered them in cold blood?

I felt the air around me thicken as I thought about it and I swear the room just got hotter.

"Fate-chan…"

"Stop with the Fate-chan already. We aren't children anymore and you need to realize that."

"Fate-chan—"

"Didn't I just tell you stop with that blasted word?" Fate roared at me in a threatening manner.

I couldn't help but smile.

I couldn't help but laugh.

I couldn't help but pull the prepossessing teenager with the flaring attitude into a heated kiss.

"Mmph! N-Na—"

I broke the kiss and took a deep breath. "No more talking." I whispered in a husky voice as my teeth nipped and tugged at the collar of her shirt.

"Is that… an amatory invitation?"

"Only if you'll look at me with that amorous look you always give me beforehand." I answered with a coy smile. Fate didn't give me the look, but the sudden pressure of her lips on my own transmitted the image to my mind—Fate looking sexy in high definition… yum.

My claret eyed lover enveloped me in her arms like a constrictor to its prey, her strong arms tightening around me when I tried to pull away. She lifted me up from the ground and began to leave a trail of hot, wet kisses down my neck; I tilted my head back as I wrapped my legs around her body for better support and leverage. The sound of Fate's quiet suckling was deafening. How long has it been since I've heard such an erotically pleasing sound? A few days, an eon, maybe an eternity or two, or was it last week? That doesn't matter, at least at the moment it didn't. I was so ensnared by the familiar sensation that I didn't notice Fate was laying me down on the stairs until my head bumped against one of the steps, causing me to break the kiss and wince inwardly, but it was a good kind of pain that only served to excite me.

Fate was going to be rough this time around.

And I was more than ready for it, for this.

"I hate you," Fate whispered into my ear, but her lust filled husky voice didn't match the heavy word. Her words of disdain were straight forward with an honest meaning, but to me, it sounded more like she had said "I love you" instead.

They were polar opposites of each other, yet that distance was what tied them together.

"I love you, too..." I whispered back, but Fate didn't reply, she just grumbled and grinded her body against me causing me to bump my head yet again. "O-Oww… okay, that one kind of hurt."

"I'm sorry!" Fate apologized quickly, concern written all over her recherché face.

I cracked a grin. "You're back to your old self…"

"No, you're hallucinating." Fate barked back, the angry façade she struggled to keep up fell back into place as the mood returned.

"You're a terrible liar," I pointed out.

It was Fate's turn to grin now. "And you're a horrendous lover, so there we're even."

Fate leaned back in and our intimate exchange began once again. Her tongue slowly grazed my lips, begging for entrance, I allowed it, but I sorely regretted doing so afterwards when her tongue jutted forward and began fighting my own for dominance. The taste of Fate's saliva was enticing, I wanted more, but Fate had my tongue pinned down; my stifled moan startled Fate and caused her tongue to release its pressure. Taking action as quickly as I could, I pinned Fate's tongue beneath mine and began taking in more of that delicious liquid that lined Fate's mouth—such a sweet taste—it was like alcohol to me. The more I drank, the more intoxicated I became, and the more I lost myself to this passion, the more transfixed I became on fighting back the nightmares… but I still wanted more.

I wanted more.

I wanted more of Fate.

I needed more.

Feeling dissatisfied with the infinitesimal distance that kept us apart, I used my left leg to coil around her right leg just to bring her closer to me; the feeling of Fate's supple breasts pressing against me was like diving head first into a sea of marshmallows—or like crashing into Mt. Everest sized, eburnean mountains. They were already irresistible to the touch, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I kept kneading them… would they become even softer?

I wonder…

I wanted to feel every bit of her, but I knew patience was the key when waiting for the lightning to… come.

"Mm…"

Pushing herself down, with the help of the steps, Fate began to leave a small trail of innocent kisses down the chasm between my breasts. I felt little nips and nibbles on my shirt, yelping in surprise when Fate's teeth nicked a bit of skin—I noticed Fate was getting irritated by the fabric that was separating us.

"You can… take it off if you want," I urged her with a weak, shaky voice.

Fate looked up at me and quirked an eyebrow. "Would it be okay?" She asked, but the innocent look on her face contradicted the 'improper position' we were in.

I merely nodded my head and in a matter of seconds, I felt the hot air surrounding us caress my exposed midriff. Fate's tongue made quick work of cooling off the areas that were becoming too overheated, but the moment her tongue left for another section of my body, the area she had previously worked on became hot and bothered.

I wanted her so badly… but once again, patience is needed when waiting for the lightning to come—then again why should the rain wait for the lighting to arrive? The rain does come before the lightning after all.

"Fate… please?" I begged. As if it was able to hear my raspy, almost imperceptible request, Fate's left hand travelled from my right breast, down my abdomen, undid my zipper, and well… into my pants. "Ahn…!"

I felt her long slender fingers moving slowly inside of me, testing to see if I was ready or not—I was ready. I was more than ready.

I needed this.

Mumbling incoherent words and stifling my moans as best as I could, I began to think, just what is it about Fate that makes me feel so… bold and rebellious? Is it her handsome face, her alluring personality, maybe it's the fact that Fate was probably the only person who could turn me on and make me feel so alive, or maybe it's because Fate was irresistible—it's probably that final option, but I still wonder is there anything about me that makes Fate feel the exact same way?

I wonder…

"Ita…" I grunted in pain.

Fate bit me… she bit me! She actually bit me, the nerve of this girl!

Even with the shirt gone, Fate continued to nip at my skin. The little red marks she left behind her wake were unsexy and stung just a little whenever the air, or Fate, neared them.

"Take it off if you want to already, jeez!" I shouted, with a puffed out cheek. "I don't want to explain why I have tiny bite marks on me in gym class tomorrow."

Without any sort of warning, Fate's other hand slithered behind me, her dexterous fingers fiddling with the clasp holding my bra together. She tugged at it twice before I raised both of my arms so she could remove the obstructive contraption for good. Now nothing was keeping my lover from whatever she wanted, but I wasn't so lucky. Fate was still full dressed—scantily dressed, but dressed nonetheless.

Breaking the kiss and pushing her slightly above me, I tugged on her shirt and smiled at her devilishly. "I'm half naked and yet you're still partially naked… that isn't fair." I commented, my fingers still fiddling with the top button teasingly.

"Do I have to do everything for you? Do it yourself for once." Fate snapped back.

I grinned and did just that.

Fate's shirt was hastily removed and just for a moment, I marvelled at the lacy black bra she wore; however, no ephemeral thoughts or feelings of the matter stayed I just wanted Fate naked.

"Ne, Fate-chan, how can you wear something sexy like that with a white shirt?" I asked curiously. "Your bra should show through…"

"Magic, Nanoha, magic." she answered with a wink.

I quirked my eyebrow and said, "Like your fingers?"

"That's skill, not magic." Fate smirked and kissed me, no more words were needed to be said now. We both knew that after we do this, everything will go back to the way it was… just being friends.

We had to savour our little moment to its fullest, because before we know it… something else will begin to tear us apart.

'All we gotta do it just be friends,' I grimaced with a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, 'It's time to say goodbye, and just be friends.'

I detested it when that blasted song suddenly came to mind. Bad timing is bad timing, but this song had a way with ruining the perfect moment.

I arched my back to give Fate better access, and in doing so her fingers slid in just a tad bit deeper causing them to hit the right spot. "F-Fate!" I gasped out as Fate flicked against it. "R-Right there!"

I was almost there… just a bit longer—

"Huh? Why's there a bra on the floor?" my father asked my mother who was standing right beside him. "Hm, isn't this Nanoha's?"

"I think you're right. But why on Earth would she go and forget about this?" My mother replied with a playful hum. "It is her favourite bra after all…"

My father shrieked like a little girl and shouted, "My baby's running around without a bra!"

"Honey, no need to shou—EEEK!"

"Momoko, what's wrong!"

I stared into my mother's dinner plate sized eyes and stammered shamelessly. How was I going to explain this? How the hell was I going to explain the reason why Fate and I were topless—scratch that, how the fuck was I going explain why Fate's hand is in my 'no, no' place?

"M-M-M-M—" I stammered.

"Momoko, what wro—NANOHA! What in the world is going on here?" My father screamed in a high pitched tone of voice.

"Um…" Fate and I looked at each other, then at our position… and came up with the perfect lie. "We fell."

My mother's eyes rolled back and her body slumped into my father's arms, but he looked about ready to faint himself.

"Nanoha, we'll talk about this later." He held onto my mother's body tightly and made sure she didn't fall and hurt herself. "J-Just… get out of my sight. Go up into your room…just go… GO!"

I flinched at the tone my father had, but I was feeling more guilt than fear. I couldn't shake the sound of my father's strained voice out of my head.

"And take Fate with you—be careful about how you two get up… I-I don't want to see anything."

"D-Daddy, I-I… I can explain!"

My father stuck his hand out in front of him and looked away with his eyes squeezed shut. "Just go, Nanoha."

Fate looked at me with an apologetic look on her face, I wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, but… it was.

This was Fate's fault…

Extracting herself from me carefully, Fate made sure that her hand was out of sight. My father didn't look at us, he just kept staring at the ground with tears brimming in his eyes—his tears were Fate's fault as well.

"Fate-chan, can you pick up our clothes?" I asked my friend in my quietest voice as I zipped my pants back up, and covered my chest with my arms. Fate nodded her head and quickly reached for our shirts, and then for my bra which was strewn carelessly on the ground beside my father. Fate tiptoed passed him, their eyes not meeting, but even though he had said it so quietly, it rang in my ears like thunder.

"I'm disappointed in you, Fate… I expected so much more from you."

I watched Fate's lips move, but I couldn't hear a word she said… my father's words just wouldn't stop repeating. "I'm disappointed in you, Fate…" Over and over and over again… "I'm disappointed in you, Fate."

My desecrated angel was being frowned upon and shamed, but all I could do was stand there and watch while it happened.

Fate crumbled under the weight of my father's words, but all I could do was stand there and watch.

Fate was close to tears, but all I could do was stand there and watch.

Fate was in pain, but all I could do was stand there and watch.

Fate was looking to me for support, but all I could do was stand there and look away in shame.

Fate called out my name desperately, but all I could do was stand there and frown at her, blaming her for this whole situation.

Dark vermillion eyes bore into my soul, the look of betrayal in those heartbroken orbs stung like a million needles piercing through me all at once. I wanted to pull her in and hold her tightly, but something was holding me back.

"Fa—"

Fate glared at me, her lips forming an angry scowl. "Save it," she snapped. I shrunk back, avoiding Fate as she walked up the stairs, but she grabbed hold of my right arm and dragged me up with her. "I can't believe you did that…" she muttered in a low whisper.

"Did what? What did I do?" I asked, pretending not to know the answer to my own question. Fate bit her bottom lip and refrained from speaking to me. "Fate-chan?"

It was a short lived, awkward silence after that. The sound of Fate's angry footsteps and my quiet whimpers were drowned out by the sound of my parents arguing in the main floor of the house. We quickly reached my bedroom and the hold Fate had on my arm slackened, even the look in her eyes softened.

"Do you… still want to do it?" she asked me, her voice quivering ever so slightly. I think that some part of her wanted me to say no.

I weighed the situation carefully in my mind, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud at how one sided it really was. We were already half naked and near the end of the deed my parents walked in on us. Fate was looking deliciously sexy without her top on and the way her hair was tussled up wasn't helping the issue at all. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to clear my head, but Fate's face appeared when everything went blank, and then… she was all I could think about. The way she looked at me with that pout as we made love caused me to lust for her even more…

I was coming close to the conclusion of my decision, but one stone was left unturned. It was that small, almost miniscule, problem about being so close to the climax, only to be violently shoved away from it—

"Yes," I replied quickly without a doubt.

Fate and I were drawn together instantly, our lips crushed together while our tongues began the battle for dominance. I closed my eyes tightly and focused on my mental image of Fate, I knew her body so well, but there was still so much unknown about her even though we've had countless trysts in the past. Was she ticklish somewhere else on her body aside from her sides and neck? Did she have a birthmark? And just how deep can I really go inside of her? Only one way to find the answer for that final question though… and this was my chance.

Taking drastic control of the situation, I pressed Fate up against the wall, my hands caressing every inch of her delectable upper body. My fingertips trailed delicately over the perky rosebud that hid beneath Fate's lacy black bra, the caress was light and hesitant, but it didn't stop the little bud from stiffening beneath my touch; I honestly felt sorry for it and its counterpart. Poor things were trapped under such an annoying garment when they should be out in the open—only for me to see of course.

The kiss deepened and I was losing the battle for control. My lungs were starved, deprived of the one thing they truly desired, but I wasn't ready to break free just yet. Air is free, but we didn't want any of it. This kiss was just too damn good to stop for a little thing called oxygen; we didn't need it, all we needed was each other and that was more than enough… least that's what I thought until I broke the kiss for a big gasp of air.

"Nyahaha, I couldn't hold my breath." I giggled with a blush on my face. Strange how I'd blush for running out of air, but not for having my parents see me in a compromising position.

Fate cupped my cheek as she placed a simple kiss on my lips, it wasn't a bad thing really, just a simple kiss where our lips were innocently pressed together; an innocent kiss shared by two children who didn't fully understand what the action truly meant. To them, a kiss on the lips meant nothing more than showing someone that you love them—this wasn't the type of kiss I wanted from Fate.

I snuck my arms around her neck, stood up on the tips of my toes—I wanted something more from Fate—and deepened the kiss. My tongue slid passed her lips, grazed her canines and collided with her tongue; the battle for dominance began once more.

I wanted Fate so badly it hurt, I wanted to touch her in the places only I could venture, and I wanted to be the one to complete her, but most of all… I wanted her to understand that I knew full well about the gravity our bond possessed; we aren't children anymore—were we ever children to begin with? And if so, when did we stop? Was it the day we joined the TSAB eight years ago? Or was it the day we got our first periods, or maybe it was the night I gave my virginity to Fate as a way to escape the reoccurring nightmares she had caused? Or maybe, just maybe… it wasn't any of those days, and that the day we both stopped being children, was the day Fate had first killed in my name.

Yes, it was definitely that day.

It was that day that shattered our innocent lives forever.

"Momoko, how can you be so calm about this!" Father bellowed. "Our youngest daughter and her friend were on our stairs fucking naked!"

"Dear, how else are they supposed to—ahem, forget I said that! And j-just so we're clear, they weren't completely naked; Fate was still dressed and Nanoha still had her pants on." Mother replied, her voice was a lot calmer than my father's, but knowing her, Mother's mind was in much deeper turmoil. "And they did say they 'fell'… can't we just forget it ever happened? Accept the lie and pretend everything is fine."

"Accept the lie? Momoko, I love you, but that's probably the most retarded idea you've ever come up with—that includes the squid buns!"

Mother and father burst out into laughter, this was probably their way of coping—and having sex with Fate was my own sick and deranged form of 'coping.' All I wanted was to forget the day Fate appeared before me, smeared with a shade of red deeper than her eyes.

"But you said you liked them!"

"That's the strange thing. I loved them! Ahahaha!"

Not wanting to hear any more of my parent's loud laughter, I nudged Fate towards my bedroom door which was only few steps away. She looked at me and smiled, she knew that this moment would be tarnished if we stayed where we were. And with our luck, someone might walk in on us again and I really didn't want to get caught red handed twice in one day.

Entering the room was one thing, finding the bed was a whole other story… but staying quiet? That was going to take a lot of will power.

Fate decided to stop playing submissive and took back the dominance; I was starting to get tired of playing the stronger character here… I just wanted this over with—slowly of course—and then go to sleep. Just the way Fate moved against me told me the estimated time frame of our twisted form of love. An hour, maybe two… and if I'm wrong, three… possibly four, I don't know, Fate was always inconsistent. She made it a habit to always keep me guessing, not that I minded much, but sometimes… I wished it would never end—I'll regret thinking that someday.

Fate broke the kiss and began to leave a trial of kisses down to my abdomen. Each kiss Fate left as she made her journey south, made me think that she was leaving a trail of breadcrumbs just so she could find her way back up to my lips.

I was in mid-thought when a sudden penetrating sensation rushed through me, causing my breath to hike. I wasn't exactly ready for it, but it was that gripping, heart stopping surprise that made sex all that much better. I loved it when Fate used that consternating feeling to her advantage, and I loved it even more when she used her tongue.

"F-Fate!" I gasped, my hands violently grabbing hold of Fate's hair.

The pleasure shot through me like a speeding bullet: hot, intense, and unforgettable. My whole body burned hotter than an inferno, but that was the last of my worries. Everything that Fate did to me was pushing me closer and closer to the edge, I wasn't ready yet, but I couldn't stop it either.

Everything after that was a blur. What was there to really think about anyways? Nothing. It was just Fate and I connecting in a special way. It wasn't just sex and it sure wasn't what I'd call 'love making'… it was lodged somewhere in between fucking each other's brains out and a romantic evening between lovers—so what exactly did we just do?

'Stop thinking and just enjoy the moment, Nanoha,' I reprimanded myself. 'Just enjoy… the moment.'

Time ticked by me slowly, Fate was fast asleep, but I couldn't catch a wink. How could I? There was an incredibly beautiful naked woman sleeping soundly on the right hand side of my bed, her body laying lithely still from the fatigue caused by our pseudo love making; Fate's hair was tangled, and her perfect marmoreal skin harboured countless love-bites in obscure places.

I couldn't help but giggle to myself quietly when one of Hayate's byzantine schemes came to mind. She told me that if I had trouble waking Fate up for any reason what so ever, all I had to do was give Fate a wet-willy. I didn't really know what that meant until recently, but watching Fate sleep was a rather breath taking experience—like watching a rare blue moon high in a starless night sky.

Fate had an ethereal beauty when she slept. The way her chest would raise and fall, the little murmuring sounds she'd make, and the way she snuggles in closer to me. Seeing her in such a peaceful state made me stop to think, is this congenial girl, the same girl that decimated thousands of people in a blind rage?

She couldn't be… Fate's too much of an angel to hurt someone like that.

My mother's wise words suddenly interrupted my thoughts: "Whenever bad things come, they will pass; but in case they don't, always think of a happy memory." I thought I knew what it meant, but looking at Fate right now and thinking about what happened in the past… I had no choice but to think back to a happier memory—to a made up memory.

I was in the middle of creating my fantasy when my eyelids began to feel heavy. I wanted to watch Fate sleep some more, I can't close my eyes now… Fate's still—

My dream began soon after.

I was a beautiful princess, regarded in many nations as a true gem, and I was loved by all of my people… though, one loved me more than the others.

She was a lonely orphan girl with a big heart and even bigger dreams, but it was her undoubting kindness that brightened my days.

We were destined to be together, but my status and her poverty kept us apart… but we struggled. We continuously struggled to keep our flickering bond alive, and eventually, that bond grew so strong it transcended friendship and became so much more.

I had fallen in love with that little orphaned girl.

We grew up living different lives. I grew up confined in a cage that kept getting smaller and smaller as I matured and she grew up to be one of the top ranking soldiers for the royal army.

The responsibilities that were placed onto my shoulders were becoming an unbearable burden, but the lie I lived when it came to that little orphaned girl was tearing me apart… I dreaded the day she'd fi—

"Nanoha… I gotta go…" Fate whispered into my ear. She poked my cheek jostling me to wake up. "It's 3am and my mom's expecting me to be home for breakfast."

"Mhm… go. Go out the window…" I mumbled sleepily. I meant it as a joke but…

Fate chuckled and got out of bed, the springs groaning quietly as she shifted her weight. "I'll do just that."

"Make sure to-yawn-fall on your face when you-yawn-do."

Opening an eye I caught a small glimpse of my lover putting on her clothes, but I couldn't keep myself awake long enough to see her get passed her underwear. This was like a reversed strip tease and I didn't want any of that—unless it was going the right way. Honestly, why stay up to watch the real thing when I can picture it slowly in my head while I slept.

Fate slowly undressing… nyahaha…

I felt Fate's soft lips on my cheek, but I couldn't take the kiss seriously. My prince charming tried to wake me up with true love's kiss only to fail at it miserably when I refused to wake up. Did this mean Fate wasn't my destined prince? If so, who was? Was it Yuuno, or maybe—God forbid—Hayate?

The sound of my bedroom window sliding upwards roused my interest. What was Fate doing? Was she—oh God! Sitting up straight I watched Fate stick her head outside, the cold night air billowed passed her causing her long hair to flow with the wind. I could only think of one word that could best describe the way Fate looked: majestic.

"Fate-chan!" I called out to her in a panic causing her to let go of the window. "Fate-chan, I'm sorry!" I yelped when the window's wooden frame struck Fate on the head. I heard a sickening crack… from the window. "Meep!"

"Ita-ta-ta…" Fate groaned as she pulled herself back inside. She shot me an angry glare, but I couldn't stop thinking about how stunning Fate looked under the pale glow of the moon. "What are you shouting about, Nanoha?"

I followed Fate's gaze and blushed furiously when I realized that my chest was exposed. I quickly pulled the covers up to hide myself from my lover's curious stare and returned the favour by sending her a warning glare. "I didn't think you were serious about… y'know, the window." I said my eyes still narrowed together.

"N-Nanoha, I've jumped out of higher places than your bedroom window." Fate explained as she looked away from me.

"I know, but only out of necessity."

"And this isn't a necessity?" Fate asked me sarcastically with a quirked eyebrow as she sauntered back to my side. I was mesmerized by the hypnotic sway of her hips. "So why exactly can't I leave through the window?"

Dropping the covers, not caring if I was naked or not, I reached out and held her warm hands. I looked up at her and felt my heart rate pick up; I was falling for her all over again. "Because I want my lover to be beside me when I wake up in the morning…"

"So, I'm your lover now?"

I nodded my head.

"I'm your lover, but not your girlfriend… that doesn't make much sense."

I sighed and gave her hands an affirming squeeze, I couldn't stand seeing Fate so confused over such a trivial matter—I was still sorting this entire thing out. "Being my lover means more than being my girl friend. I have tons of those, but only one Fate-chan." Fate didn't reply she just stood there frozen out of shock. "Nyahaha, Fate-chan, you look like you just saw a ghost."

Fate got down on one knee and looked at me seriously. She freed her right away from my grasp and placed it on my cheek and caressed it with her thumb. "Nanoha, calling me your lover doesn't mean a cent when we don't have a formal relationship." she explained.

"But this is…"

Fate sighed and continued, "In a way it is, but saying we're just friends contradicts that. I'm faithful to you and you to me—somewhat—but there isn't anything stopping either of us from accepting a confession and moving on. I can understand that you're scared, I am too. I'm scared about what people will think of me, what people will think of us, but the pros outweigh the cons here. I'm willing to risk it all for you.

Nanoha, there isn't anything strong enough on Earth to keep us apart. A few silly laws that closed minded people create just to segregate us, hell there may even be a time when you realize I'm not the one for you… and even if that happens, I'll let you go without a fight—okay that may not be entirely true… I'll fight tooth and nail for you because you're worth it, Nanoha. I won't give you up without giving it my all. I know you'll say that I'm the one for you and that we're meant to be together, but you can't see into the future, no one can.

Nanoha, what I want you to know is that I love you and whatever it is you're accusing me of will pass, and then we'll go back to the way things were. I want you to be happy, I've dedicated my whole life for that one goal, but if I'm not the cause of that happiness… let me know. Stop dragging me behind you with your silly little love games—you're hurting me. Answer me straight forward, I'm a big girl now, I won't cry—much—when you say that you don't want to play with me anymore.

Break my heart, taint my soul, and shatter my world, I don't care… just don't lie to me. If you really, honestly, and truly do love me as a friend, you'll give me the peace of mind to reject me properly. No fancy words, no long speeches, nothing. Just say it straight forward—don't sugar-coat it okay?"

I looked at Fate oddly and wondered if the window was the cause of this. "Sugar-coat what exactly?" I asked her. "Better yet, where the hell is all this coming from?"

Fate sighed again and continued. "This isn't how I pictured us. You were supposed to be the princess and me your knight in shining armour; I was supposed to be the one to protect you with every ounce of my strength. I'm the one who was supposed to defend your honour without a doubt and die for you with a smile on my face, but every time you run towards Yuuno, I saw that fairytale slip away from me. When I see you two together, I don't feel like the knight or a knight at all… this whole time you've been treating me like your court jester, and that the sole purpose in my life was to make you laugh; I'm just a casualty tossed in with the masses when your kingdom collapses."

"Fate-chan…" I couldn't explain it… my heart was in so much agony, but I was thinking so clearly. I understood every word she said, but I couldn't understand what she was saying.

"Nanoha, sometimes I think this was never supposed to happen. And most of the time, I firmly believed that we were never supposed to happen." Fate said, she stressed the word 'we', but I don't know why. "One of these days, I'm going to disappear from your life and you won't know why. It won't be because I fucked up on a mission and come back home in a casket. It won't be because I accepted the job to work with my brother on his vessel, and it definitely won't be because I've found someone more worthy of my love—you're the only one for me, and I know that as a fact. But the reason why I'll disappear from your life is because you'll let me walk out of it—and don't say that you won't, because you will. You've done it before Nanoha, and there still isn't anything stopping you from doing so again.

I know it's late and you're probably half asleep… and maybe, just maybe, you'll forget about this whole conversation when you wake up in the morning, but I can't keep it bottled up inside of me anymore, Nanoha. My heart is torn in two and I don't know which side means more to me. One side is telling me that I want you to be happy and that it doesn't matter who you're happy with, but the other side is telling me that I should be the one to be happy with you and not someone else. One side of me wants to think of nothing else but you, while the other side of me wants to firmly believe that we're destined to be together—"

"We are destined to be together!" I exclaimed. A bone chilling fear gripped hold of me when I realized where the conversation was going. Every part of me began to tremble when I thought of the imminent conclusion of our relationship dawned. "You're the one for me, Fate! I don't know how else to make you believe it!"

"Nanoha, I want to believe, I want to believe in it so much… but you keep denying me the one thing I truly want and it isn't fair. You're offering the option—no, the privilege—to Yuuno, but when I ask for a chance with you, you reject me flatly and resort to just giving me your body." Fate's tears began to flow, and I was literally watching her heart break like a falling piece of glass. "What do I have to do to make you see that I don't want your body and that I only want you? When will you understand what I'm trying to say here?

I'm begging you Nanoha, let me be the one to hold you when you're scared, let me be the one to make the pain go away, let me be the one to protect you, let me be the one you'll be with till the end of time… me, Nanoha, not Yuuno. Me."

I shook my head and repeated myself, my voice getting raspy. "You're the one for me, Fate! I don't know how else to make you believe it!"

"Make me believe it, Nanoha! Push my fears away and make me believe it!"

"I don't know what to do, Fate-chan!"

Fate stood up and screamed, "Stop being so stubborn and be with me! I'm getting sick and tired of constantly asking you, Nanoha!"

"And I'm getting tired of you trying to push me into a relationship!"

"Push? You… think I'm pushing you into a relationship?" Fate's voice suddenly became quieter than a dead mouse.

I nodded my head slowly, stunned by my own words. "You're pressuring me…" I answered with a trembling voice

"I'm p-pressuring you?"

"Y-Yeah…"

Fate looked away from me, her tears suddenly dried. "I see…"

"Yuuno isn't trying anything; he's just there waiting for me. He brought me into the world of magic, and he was the reason why I met you and everyone else in the first place."

"I-Is... this what you mean by 'owing' him?"

"Yes…"

Fate's dumbfounded stare became a hardened glare. "You owe him for bringing you into the magical world, and I understand he was—in some way—the reason why you met me and everyone else, but saying that he's the sole reason for it is bullshit! He brought you into the world of magic, but the jewel seeds brought us together—my mother's fucking ambition to resurrect my goddamned original brought us together!

Nanoha, that ferret did nothing but give you Raising Heart and a quick tutorial on how to use her! You did everything in your own power, you, not him. YOU!"

"Fate-chan, keep your voice down please? My parents are still asleep so they might hear you—we're in enough trouble as it is." I looked towards the door making sure that it was still closed and tugged Fate back to my side, our fingers intertwining in the process. She was reluctant at first, but I remained vigilant. "What I said earlier… that came out all wrong; I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." I tugged on her hand one final time before saying, "Come back to bed okay? We'll sort this all out in the morning… after an extremely awkward breakfast."

"I should be so mad at you, but I'm too tired-yawn-to fight anymore.'' Fate yawned as she crawled over me and onto her side of the bed. "Nanoha, move over." she mumbled sleepily as she poked my side causing me to jump. I sent a glare at her, but my gaze softened when I realized she had already fallen asleep. It really was like nothing happened between us.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but Fate looked heavenly when she was asleep. With her long blonde hair cascading over her eyes like a silky veil, and the way her lips parted ever so slightly so she could breathe just a little easier. The clothes she wore hugged every curve of her delectable body, the contours of her breasts were outlined perfectly by her tight white blouse, and her hips—oh God her legs! That mini skirt was too revealing, not that I mind, but how could she walk in public with something like that? Does she know how sexy she is? And does she know how possessive I am of her? Every guy and girl must've had their eyes glued to Fate's ass when she walked over here—she's doing this on purpose.

"Damn…" I mouthed as my eyes did a secondary scan of Fate's body.

For the second time this night, sleep dragged me into a sweet oblivion where all I could see was Fate.

Just be friends. All we gotta do is just be friends. It's time to say goodbye and just be friends. All we gotta do is just be friends. Just be friends.

My cell phone, which acted as my alarm clock, began to play an extremely upbeat tune with lyrics that contained some rather intense feelings. I laughed at the cruel irony here… my best friend who wants a relationship with me slept right beside me with her arms tightly wound around my waist, while my ring tone told me that we should just be friends.

I reached out and turned the blasted song off before Fate woke up and heard it. The last thing I wanted to do was to explain why my cell phone was the one rejecting her feelings and not me—not that I was rejecting her right now of course… it was just a nice song that I happened to really like.

"Fate-chan," I cooed, "Wake up, it's time for school."

Fate snuggled in closer to me, her head buried in the crook of my neck. "Five more minutes, Mommy…" She murmured, her words slurred and jumbled together.

"Well then, if Fate-papa doesn't wake up in five seconds, Nanoha-mama will have to use drastic measures." I said in a motherly tone of voice. "Hayate-chan taught me a few tricks you know~"

Instantly, beautiful garnet eyes shot wide open. "Don't bring that mad woman into this conversation!" Fate yelped, and coincidentally enough, she fell off the bed… just as Hayate said she would

"You know, Hayate-chan told me that if you refused to wake up, all I had to do was say her name and you'd wake up." I giggled at my blonde haired friend who was flat on the floor, and I laughed even harder when she started to grumble some incoherent words. "Anyways, now that we're both awake, we can face my parents together for the world's most awkward breakfast ever!"

Fate rolled onto her back and glowered at me. "Who said anything about 'we'? I stayed the night like you asked, so now I'm escaping through the window. And I really hope you haven't forgotten that yesterday was your idea." Fate muttered under her breath as she stood up to leave.

"Don't blame it all on me, because you're just as guilty! In fact you had your hand down my pants!" I grabbed a chunk of Fate's hair and pulled her down; the much taller girl fell to the ground with a loud thud. "Woops~"

"You did that on purpose!" Fate accused me with a shocked expression on her face.

I gave her a disbelieving look and grinned. "No, really?"

"Yes, really."

Shrugging my shoulders, I crawled over to Fate until our noses touched, the white sheet covering my body sliding off like a discarded layer of skin. I was bare to my lover's eyes; nothing was there to obscure her view. My heart began to race when she reached out and patted me on the head affectionately, I blushed, but I didn't pull away… she ensnared me with a tiny smile, not affected by my state of undress, but affected by the silent understanding between us.

Last night held no meaning, not anymore.

Everything really did reset and we became nothing more than just best friends.

"Let's get this over with okay? But let's not stay too long," Fate chuckled nervously, "Your dad looked like he was about to shove one of your mother's squid buns down my throat—those things taste horrible!"

"Nyahaha… I remember you ate it out of guilt and didn't come to school for a week."

Fate sighed. "Nanoha, if you love me, if you really do honestly love me, you won't ever bring that up."

"You just don't want to remember all the homework you had to do in one day." I couldn't help but laugh when Fate groaned loudly. "Okay it's about time I get dressed. Feel free to watch, but no touching okay?" I said as I got out of bed, unashamed of my nudity, and walked over to my dresser. I turned to look at Fate and said, "Oh, you can borrow one of my extra uniforms. I don't think we'll have time to go to your house and then go to school—we can cheat and fly to school… then again, Chrono-kun might catch us."

"No, it's okay; I have an extra set at school." Fate replied with a smile, obviously enjoying the free show. Moving over to my unkempt bed, Fate took a seat and asked, "You're not going to take a shower?"

"Why take a shower? I've got gym class today, and I really don't want to get rid of your smell just yet." I confessed. "How about you?"

"I have gym with you remember?"

"Oh… right."

I looked at Fate curiously when I saw her hand suddenly jerk away. "Eww… I just touched something wet." she shuddered as she wiped her hand on my pillow.

I shrugged my shoulders and dug around for some clean undergarments, my mom was going to do the laundry today anyway, so no point in stressing over whatever it was Fate wiped on my pillow—I can always switch it with hers if Mom doesn't do the laundry. "Well, you did touch the place where we… y'know. And since we did it again not too long ago, that area should still be wet."

"Eww…"

"Oh grow up will you? You know what happens when we have sex."

"I know all too well, but I don't want to hear that from the girl who says she isn't ready for a relationship." Fate replied with a huff. "Come on Nanoha, just one date? I promise you won't regret it."

"Hm, if I say yes, what will we do on said date?"

"Movie of your choice, dinner at a fancy restaurant—my treat of course—after that a long walk in the park with the moonlight illuminating the starry night sky," Fate paused and continued, "You and me holding hands as we talk aimlessly about whatever—"

"Sex?"

"In the park if you want."

I was starting to like the idea of Fate's proposed date. "Kinky."

"I know this great spot to make out. It's completely surrounded by trees and bushes—I took Hayate there once I think."

"What!" I twirled around and glowered at the blonde. "What was that!"

Fate threw her hands before her and waved them frantically, a bead of sweat rolling down her cheek. "I was joking! I was joking!" she repeated with a strained grin on her face.

"…"

"N-Nanoha?"

"…"

"D-Do you want to go out on a date with me?"

"Ah~ finally dressed! Let's go down and get some breakfast!" I quickly threw on my vest and ran back to Fate's side; I grabbed her hand and ran out the door. "I want something drenched in butter, how about you?"

"…"

Half way to the kitchen, I could smell the mouth-watering aroma of the warm food my mother prepared; Fate stopped running and pulled her hand away from mine. "Nanoha, I'm going on ahead. I'll see you at school." She said with a rather disgruntled tone of voice. The way she looked at me was confusing; she looked like she was angry, but at the same time she looked like she was about ready to cry… why?

Fate ran away before I could say anything, and the sound of the side door slamming shut told me that Fate wasn't in the best of moods.

"F-Fate… chan?"

I stood still for a moment just staring into space, but the sound of my mother's voice calling out to me snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Nanoha, come and get some breakfast before school."

"Yes, Mama…"

My steps were slow and hesitant, all the confidence I had a moment ago all gone. My body felt drained and exhausted—my legs heavier than cinderblocks—but I pressed forward and marched on.

Each overly exaggerated step I took was like one rap on the metaphorical door. Reality was knocking and it was telling me that I had to face the music sooner or later; I fucked up and now I had to face the consequences by myself.

"Reap the seeds you sow" was the phrase reality drilled into my head.

I was two steps away from the dining area and the unsettling churn in my stomach was getting worse. I felt sick, I wanted to run up the stairs, throw up and never come out of the bathroom. I wanted to hide from my parents and fade away into peaceful obscurity. I was starting to really regret not taking Fate up on her offer. If I accepted it, I wouldn't be facing my disappointed parents alone; however, if I did accept it and we began dating seriously… the paranoia of someone better than me coming and stealing Fate away increased to staggering levels. I didn't want to risk losing Fate to anyone while we were together, but if Fate and I are nothing more than just friends and she found someone else… I can let her go without feeling the nagging guilt of letting her slip away.

Who am I kidding? The only reason why I was so bold earlier was because I thought I'd have Fate beside me, holding my hand tightly, as we faced my parents—we would have had to face my parents as a couple.

I missed the warmth she gave off, I missed her smell, and I missed the feeling of security she gave me. I needed Fate beside if I wanted to face my parents with pride—Fate is my courage.

My mind was finally lucid, free from all forms of confusion, doubt and disarray; the world finally made sense to me.

I need Fate.

これでおしまい

It's Over

"The White Devil wasn't felled by the sword of man, but by the love of an angel"

See You Next Time?

( ・_・）ノ