Authors notes- I don't own the guys, just my character Karma, and it's from her point of view.

I'm bored/slash stuck of my main story and it's the holidays. What more can I say?

Life without you.

It's been two days without him. Two days of utter hell. Today is the third, and I can only hope it gets easier. But as I descend the stairs and enter the kitchen, the look on my brother's face says it all.

"Morning." I say quietly and take a seat opposite him.

"Morning Karm." Don looks up to me with doleful brown eyes.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really." His fingers wind their way around his cup of coffee. "Did you?"

"No, not really."

An awkward silence ensues.

"Was… was it my fault?"

"No!" I look up. "No Donny, it wasn't…"

"I feel like it was."

"It wasn't, I promise." Reaching across the table to him, I squeeze his hand reassuringly, as he nods in return.

We sit silently, the tick-tocking of the clock taking over and grating at my sanity.

"I better get back to fixing the TV… that he broke…"

I watch my brother leave, forgetting his coffee, and find myself lost in thought, my eyes fixated at the purple cup in front of me.

"Hey."

"Hey." I answer back, waiting for him to drift into my view.

"Sorry, did I keep ya up last night?" The red banded turtle sits next to me.

"No, I just couldn't sleep."

"Me either." He shuffles anxiously. "Guilty conscience I guess."

"You've got nothing to be guilty of."

"I do… I guess it was my fault that... that he…"

"It's nobody's fault, okay? We'll get through this."

Amber eyes find mine.

"I… I believe ya."

After a few moments of yet another smothering silence, Raph hastily exits the room, leaving me once again with just my thoughts.

'Everyone's blaming themselves… thinking it was their fault, but it was mine... to think this all started out as a joke...'

The pattering of feet approaching wrenches me away from myself yet, and my other brother enters the room.

"Hey Karm."

"Morning."

The eldest turtle walks over to the fridge, pulls out a carton of orange juice, then a glass from the cupboard. As the orange liquid edges dangerously near the top of the glass, I clear my throat to snap him out of his daydream.

"Thanks."

Hurriedly, he puts away the carton and takes a seat.

"It's taking over your mind too, huh?"

"Of course it is, I mean it's-"

"It's not your fault."

He exchanges a glance with me, before his deep brown eyed gaze settles on the glass clutched in his hand.

"I… I feel like it is."

"It isn't. It isn't anybody's fault." I force a smile.

"My sister… always rationalising everything." Leo returns the smile, then gets up, no doubt to go meditate upon his thoughts.

Glancing over to the aftermath of breakfast in the sink, my stomach churns at the thought of eating. Satisfied with a small glass of water, I leave the kitchen, heading for the solace of the sofa to read.

Other than small clanks and clangs from Donny's lab, the Lair rests in a silence that I would normally wish for, but one that I now find suffocating and disturbing.

'It's quiet, too quiet…' I inwardly sigh. 'He used to say that…'

Thud thud thud.

'Noise!' I jump up at the sound, quickly turning my head to the direction of the noise, the dojo. Deciding to investigate, I hastily rush over, only to find the noise is Raph punching the living daylights out of a punch bag whilst our oldest brother meditates nearby.

"Raph!" Leo blurts, his eyes snapping open.

"What?" He continues punching the bag, the scowl on his face deepening.

"I'm trying to meditate, couldn't you do that later?"

"Deal with it."

Thud thud thud.

I shrink back a little as Leo's eyes narrow to dangerous slits.

"Look, I need time to clear my head, just give me five minutes-"

"Ya always tell me ta practise."

"Yes, but-"

"But nothin'. I'm doin' what ya tell me ta do, an' yer 'bout ta tell me otherwise?"

"No, I just need time to clear my head."

"So do I."

Thud thud thud thud.

"Yes, but I do it, quieter." The older brother grits his teeth as he stands.

"He never did quiet, an' ya never objected."

"Don't bring him up."

"Why?" Raph spins on his heels, fists clenched.

"Because… just don't."

"Stop tellin' me what ta do!"

"Raph." I step into the dojo. "Don't, okay?"

"Why is everybody tellin' me what ta do?! Am I incapable of makin' my own decisions or somethin'?!"

"You're making the wrong ones." Leo mutters.

"Yer pushin' me Fearless!"

"Raph-" I start to say as Donny appears behind me, perplexed by the sudden argument.

"Yeah, and you never push me."

"Leo-" Don starts.

"Ya think yer so good, don'tcha?! Ya better watch that big head a' yours."

"At least I'm not hot headed!"

"That yer only insult? That I'm a hot head? Heh, nice one Fearless."

"And your only insult is calling me 'Fearless' all the damn time."

I sigh and glance up to Donny.

"Trust me, I got a lot more words fer ya."

"You're all talk."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you are."

"I got yer 'all talk' right here!" Raph raises his fist.

"What the shell dudes? Oh, uh, and dudette."

We all spin on our heels to face the direction of the croaky voice.

"Mikey!" Raph's the first to blurt out.

"Are you okay?" Leo rushes past Don and I towards our youngest brother.

"Dude, I'm fine-"

"Are ya sure? Ya don't look so good."

"Maybe you should rest up some more."

"Whoa!" Mikey holds his hands up in front of him. "What's with the interrogation?!"

"It's been like this the past 3 days." Sighing, I raise an eyeridge in Leo and Raph's direction.

"It's been hell…" Donny adds.

"Dudes! And dudette, I've been sick, not dying." He grins lopsidedly as always.

"But it was our fault." Leo urges.

"We never thought ya'd actually eat week old pizza..."

"Even if it was a double dare…"

"We're sorry." My gaze meets with baby blue eyes.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" The orange banded turtle holds his sides as he giggles. "Dudes! Dudette! I was sick for 2 days! You guys sound like you've been falling apart without the Mikester!" He flexes his biceps for good measure, and we all break out into smiles.

"Yeah Mikey, I guess we have." Leo rubs the shell of his little brother.

"Don't ever, ever leave me alone with these three again, okay?" I pout slightly and he grins.

"If you don't ever, ever stop being hot, I won't."

"You got a deal." Playfully, I punch his shoulder.

"So, who's up for… A SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL COMPETITION WITH THE BATTLE NEXUS- Oww! Raphy!"

"He's fine." Raph concludes, and slopes off to the dojo.

With a small frown, Mikey rubs the back of his head, then dashes towards the sofa, launching himself over it and grabbing the TV remote.

"Hey Donny, did ya fix my cell? Did ya, did ya, did ya?"

"He's definitely fine." Don wanders off to his lab.

"Oh, and Leo, did you put popcorn on the shopping list 'cause yanno, we ran out dude!" But his words find no audience as Leo disappears out of the Lair.

"Good ol' Mikey." I whisper.

"Hey Karmy, get me a soda?"

With a chuckle, I shake my head.

"Laters Mikey… you big geek."

"Hey!"