Notes: First and foremost, I must apologize to everybetty for the long delay in posting this. I am SO very, very sorry for my tardiness. I can only hope you find it was worth the wait. Second, this was written for the Shep's Atlantis ficathon on LiveJournal. The prompt was for "ShepWhump... ShepWh- errr, I mean, infirmary scene (with Carson, natch), humor interspersed amongst the whumpage."

Rodney bustled into the long-abandoned room filled with dormant Ancient equipment. Rubbing his hands together gleefully, he headed for the console in the center of the room.

"Rodney, should we not wait with Ronon for John to finish this...testing flight? What if he needs your assistance to land successfully?" Teyla was right behind him, a worried look gracing her features.

McKay waved her off, unmoved by her concern. "Oh please. Sheppard has Conan out there to hold his hand once he gets back on the ground--he doesn't need me, too. And if by some astronomically, infinitesimally small chance he does need my help? Well, that's what radios are for." Gracing her with a smug, know-it-all look, he tapped the device in his vest pocket.

Having said his piece, he set about brushing the dust from the surface of the unit and powering up the station. Taking his laptop out of his pack, he quickly had it hooked up to the main console and then set about checking over the smaller control panels dotted about the small room's walls. After ensuring that all were functioning, he headed back to inspect the data scrolling down the screen of his laptop, humming a nameless tune as he worked.

Satisfied with the data it displayed, he pulled out his LSD and checked for energy signatures. His eyes widened as his grin morphed into the Cheshire Cat's twin. "Bingo! We have here, ladies and gentlemen..." His tone and expression smug, he walked over to the far wall and waved a hand over the panel, which opened to reveal a round orange glowing disk. He pressed the disk which rose to reveal a very familiar object. Pointing to it, his smug expression still in place, he continued his commentary. "One fully functional and over half-charged ZPM. Exactly as I predicted, I might add."

Before Teyla could respond, Ronon's voice sounded over their radios. "Sheppard's coming back now. So far, so good."

Rodney was the first to reply. "Good. Once he's back on the ground, tell him to get his skinny ass down here--we've darn near hit the mother lode for a change."

"Tell him yourself; I'll let you know when he's down." Ronon cut the transmission without signing off, but it was plain that he considered the conversation over.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," mumbled McKay, reaching for the energy module. To his surprise, the glowing tube suddenly retraced and closed. Frowning, he waved his hand over it to raise it, but nothing happened.

He started over to his laptop at the main console when a nervous-sounding Teyla called out to him. "Rodney, I believe you should come look at this screen right away," she said, pointing to her left.

He'd barely made it two steps when a low hum began to build. He froze for an instant, a look of horror crossing his face. "Oh no! Nononono." He all but flew the rest of the way to the console and began frantically manipulating controls.

"Rodney?"

Teyla sounded even more nervous and wary, but the scientist had no time for explanations. "Working here!"

The humming intensified, gaining both volume and pitch as it continued to build, and Rodney cursed at the machine in front of him. "Come on, come on, disengage already!"

His hands stilled suddenly as the noise died out. The screen in front of him flashed a message in Ancient, casting an eerie glow over his features. He stared in disbelief at the words, ignoring Ronon's frantic voice in his ear telling him what he already knew. Swallowing hard, his eyes still wide with shock, he turned to Teyla. "Oh God. I just killed Sheppard."