A/N: Thank you for giving this fic a chance! This is my first attempt at a Mass Effect fic, because after playing through the trilogy (for the thousandth time) I just couldn't sit still with that ending anymore. This fic will follow my own headcanon ending, which tries to be as canon as possible yet put band-aids over some of my BioWare-inflicted wounds as I see fit. For the purpose of introducing and fleshing out these characters (particularly with regards to this Shepard), these first few chapters will be an introductory series of drabbles throughout ME1 and ME2. I wanted to get through the first two games for background but get to the main juice of the story, ME3 and post-ME3, quickly even though there are key scenes from the first two games necessary to set up this Shepard's character and relationships.
tl;dr - feel free to start at Chapter 5, because Chapter 1-4 are introductory drabbles that take place during ME1/ME2!
Disclaimer: I'm just playing around with these characters that BioWare has all the rights to. fic title from Mass Effect Soundtrack by Jack Wall and Sam Hulick
Chapter 1.1 – In The Beginning
Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko picked at the label on his beer bottle, feeling a migraine trying to work its way into the forefront of his brain. Trying to ignore it, he looked up at his drunken crewmembers, gathered around the mess of the brand new SSV Normandy SR-1.
The new, state-of-the-art frigate, co-developed with the Turian Hierarchy and partly funded by the Council, was due to depart for its first shakedown run tomorrow evening. The crew had already been assigned and on-board for several days, but their first commanding officer Captain Zander had been removed before their original departure date after an altercation with the Normandy's Turian engineer. Their departure was delayed and the crew received extended shore leave while their new CO, Captain David Anderson, was officially transferred and briefed on their 'routine' shakedown run. At least, that was the official story, as Corporal Richard Jenkins was drunkenly explaining to those gathered in the mess for their last pre-duty night.
"See here," Jenkins slurred. "Last night I was tryin' to chat up this Alliance admin chick down at the mess." He paused to take another swig from his suspiciously coloured drink. "After a few drinks she told me that apparently we're gettin' a Spectre – a damn Spectre! – on board tomorrow to accompany us! That all this delay's got somethin' to do with Anderson tryin' ta bring on a new XO, and the Spectre!" He hiccupped, and then proudly smiled at the curious looks arising from his comrades. "Probably means this isn't no regular shakedown either!"
Kaidan frowned, not nearly as impressed as everyone else. "Jenkins, I'm pretty sure Captain Anderson will reveal that information to us as soon as he's permitted. Don't you think suspecting behind his back is a little unfair to him?" He took a sip from his beer before continuing, smiling mischievously at Jenkins. "Besides, I'm not inclined to believe you unless you've got evidence."
To his surprise, Jenkins bounced up and pointed at him. "Hah! This time I do! Our new XO is that uh, that Commander… damn, what was her name? That one they said was the only survivor of the disaster mission on Akuze?"
Another private piped in. "Commander Shepard, I think?"
Jenkins nodded vigorously. "Yeah that was the one! She's probably some old, tough, cold-hearted bitch though... But I'll be the first to admit she's got a damn impressive record to her name!" Jenkins took another sip from his drink before turning back to Kaidan, ignoring Kaidan's pointed frown at his assumptions. "If you can get into her personnel record, you'll see her latest assignment listed as the Normandy!"
Kaidan chuckled, amused at the support Jenkins has rallied in their crewmembers. "Jenkins you know I'm only a Staff Lieutenant, right? I only have access to the records of ranks below me. If this Commander is our new XO, I wouldn't be able to access her file anyway."
Jenkins scoffed. "Come on, nerd, I know you can hack the system. Next shore leave I'll buy you a bottle of real whiskey, the stuff from Earth, not the stuff they brew out here, if you do this!"
Rolling his eyes (and ignoring the chants of 'Alenko! Alenko!'), he stood up and strolled over to his console, amused when as many crewmembers as possible cram into his tiny station, trying to be the first to look over his shoulders at the results. He could get in trouble for doing this, and he wasn't as good as Jenkins thought he was, but he was good enough to know that all he had to do was fool the system into thinking a higher ranking official was signing in. He was also good enough to know that doing it from an Alliance console on an Alliance ship made it easier to do so (and to hide his tracks).
Before he started, he turned and looked over his shoulders at the people trying to squeeze into his station. "I know Jenkins won't remember this in the morning, so I want each and everyone of you to kindly remind him until he makes good on his promise." The crew cheered, urging Kaidan on.
It's almost too easy; within minutes Kaidan had a personnel file of one Commander Shepard:
AURELIA SHEPARD
RANK: STAFF COMMANDER
SERVICE NO.: 5923-AC-2826
CLASS: N7 OPERATIVE, ADEPT
DOB: 11 APR 2154
POB: EARTH, LOCATION UNKNOWN
ENLISTMENT DATE: 11 APR 2172
NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENTS:
GRADUATED TOP OF CLASS FROM SYSTEMS ALLIANCE N7 PROGRAM
SOLE SURVIVOR OF SQUAD AFTER DEADLY THRESHER MAW ATTACK ON AKUZE
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: SSV NORMANDY SR-1
FULL SERVICE HISTORY BELOW, CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER:
The first thing Kaidan noticed wasn't her archaic Latin name, which sounded like it belonged more to a Turian than a human. No, the first thing he noticed was her age. She was almost three full years younger than him and yet outranked him twice. Granted, he enlisted a year after her, but the feat was still impressive. "Damn," he muttered under his breath. "She must be a damn good soldier."
The second thing Kaidan noticed was that there was no picture. No Alliance headshot, no recruitment image, no photos of receiving the numerous medals listed in her full service history. Suddenly he felt guilty, intruding on the privacy of this well-established Alliance Commander. He was about to shut the console down when Jenkins slapped him over the shoulder.
"Ah-hah! I knew you could do it! And look here, I was right! Current assignment SSV Normandy!" Jenkins let out a whoop, basking in his victory of being correct.
Frustrated and annoyed at allowing himself to be talked into this, Kaidan shut down the console and edged his way out of his cramped station towards the crew quarters. "That's enough for tonight, folks."
The crew let out a disappointed sound in unison. "Come on, Alenko! We didn't even get to see pictures of the Commander!"
He sighed, already halfway across the mess, and threw a last remark at Jenkins. "Well, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow then, won't you Corporal?"
His sour tone seemed to have subdued the crew, who murmured in agreement and started to scamper off toward their own bunks.
That night he fell asleep with a migraine and dreamt of thresher maws, ancient Roman gladiators wearing N7 armour, and old-fashioned Canadian-brewed whiskey.
The next morning at 0700 hours, Kaidan was already awake and doing tasks on his console when Jenkins stumbled into the mess hall for a glass of water. Catching Jenkins' attention and throwing some painkillers his way, he chuckled quietly at his friend's state.
Jenkins washed the painkillers down eagerly, immediately feeling a little brighter and strolling towards Kaidan's station with renewed confidence.
"Morning, Alenko," he murmured, obviously still regretting the strangely coloured drinks he consumed last night. "What time we setting off today?"
Kaidan smiled, relishing the fact that he got to belay the new orders onto his hung-over friend. "Good morning, Corporal. Just received the new orders – we'll be receiving our new XO at 0900 hours and must be ready to greet the Commander with an appropriate welcoming party." He mischievously savoured the distraught look on Jenkins' face, knowing full well his friend would still be nursing his hangover then. He waited a moment for Jenkins to recover from his initial distress before continuing. "Spectre Nihlus will be arriving on board at 1200 hours, and we'll be departing for Eden Prime at 1300 hours."
The mention of his home planet's name sobered Jenkins up a little. "Eden Prime? Any mention why we're going there?"
Kaidan shook his head, frowning. "Nope, but I assume since this is just the Normandy's maiden voyage that it'll just be a routine trip to test out stealth systems. Maybe we'll get a couple hours' break, maybe you can see your family, Rick."
"I'd like that. Haven't heard from ma in a while, though last I heard pa was working on something big at a new dig site." He shrugged. "But you're probably right, and I should probably get Chakwas to make me feel a little more presentable to our new XO."
Kaidan chuckled to himself again, watching Jenkins' slumped shoulders retreating towards the med bay. "Maybe that'll teach you to drink the night before duty again!" Satisfied with his efforts to tease his friend, Kaidan headed up to the CIC to be briefed by Navigator Pressly.
Pressly instantly assured Kaidan that nothing more than standard BDUs were required for the welcoming party. "I don't think you'll even be needing your armour at all for this mission, Lieutenant," Pressly said, not even looking up from his datapad. "This is just a regular shakedown to test the Normandy's stealth systems, the pilot has already proved the Normandy flies spectacularly." At those words he looked up towards the cockpit, shaking his head. "Moreau's crazy. He's a damn good pilot, but I still want you in the bridge keeping an eye on him until we get to Eden Prime, alright?"
Smiling, Kaidan recalled how Joker got assigned to the Normandy: he'd hijacked her test flight and somehow proved himself to Captain Anderson and the Turian general observing, impressing them enough to forgive his actions and appoint him official pilot. "Joker's a remarkable pilot, if the Turians and Anderson trust him enough to fly this ship then I do too."
Pressly raised an eyebrow at Kaidan, but looked back to his datapad instead of commenting further. "I suppose you're right, Alenko. But I still want you up there. Anyway, I have a few more numbers to run. Go back to the quarters and inform the rest of the crew to prepare for the Commander."
At precisely 0900 hours, Captain Anderson's booming voice leached out of the opening elevator doors, echoing across the marines lined up in the shuttle bay.
"Your new troops are all here, Commander, ready to greet you."
They were arranged by rank, and being Staff Lieutenant meant Kaidan was the last in line (former XO Pressly was up in the CIC, no doubt having greeted the Commander and the Captain at the airlock, and all other non-combatant crew were at their stations). The long line of Alliance soldiers raised their arms to salute in unison, eagerly awaiting their first glimpse of Commander Shepard since Jenkins leaked her arrival last night. Anderson made his way down the short line, introducing the Commander to every marine's name and rank.
Kaidan felt another migraine coming on, and longed to escape for a glass of cold water before it got any worse. He never liked these formal welcoming parties, but he knew Captain Anderson prided himself on being respectful to everyone on his ship. He held up his perfect salute until finally Anderson was in front of him, gesturing to Kaidan with a hand but focused on the woman standing slightly behind Anderson.
Kaidan startled, all thoughts of his looming migraine gone, but held his hand in position. She wasn't at all how he expected her to be (although, really, what did he expect?): she was at least a head shorter than him, strongly built but not burly and not overtly muscular. Her hair was a striking natural golden blonde, which surprised him because naturally light hair was atypical these days. Recessive phenotypic genes had become… well, had become increasingly rare in this day and age, but he could tell the Commander's hair was natural because it looked full and healthy, despite being cropped unevenly to above her shoulders. Her eyes were a soft chestnut brown, framed in large, deep-set almond eyes. A scar cut through her eyebrow and lingered dangerously close to her left eye; Kaidan could tell if it had been any lower she would probably have lost vision in that eye. Her lips were uneven, the lower just faintly thinner than the upper, but she held her mouth in a way that anyone less observant than Kaidan wouldn't be able to tell. She had striking cheekbones and a strong jawline, yet her cheeks were full enough to slightly soften her features and fill out her heart-shaped face. Her expression was still tough, though, and she looked determined but not cold.
"And this here, Commander, is Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, one of our finest. Earthborn, just like you."
When she tore her eyes off Anderson and finally looked up at Kaidan, he lowered his arm. "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
She nodded, holding out her right hand to shake his. "The pleasure is mine, Lieutenant. Glad to be serving on board this ship with everyone here," she said, gesturing to the rest of the crew with her other hand.
He took her hand, shaking it firmly. The tiniest of sparks passed between them, too small for anyone to notice, but she raised her scarred eyebrow at him and they exchanged a brief knowing glance between them; they were both biotics.
She released his hand and turned around to follow the already retreating Anderson's back before throwing her first command over her shoulder. "At ease, soldiers. As you were."
After she turned, Kaidan could barely make out the tell-tale markings of an implant on her neck, subtly covered by her hair. The scars were much cleaner than his own, and he could already tell she was an L3, not a first-generation L2 like himself.
He was brought back to the present by Jenkins bounding up to him. "Damn, that woman has some fire about her! Did you see her bod?"
Kaidan raised an eyebrow at Jenkins, slightly annoyed by his friend's blatant objectification. "Rick, I don't think you should be openly revealing your thoughts of fraternisation about our new XO to a higher ranking officer."
Jenkins laughed. "Get that stick out of your ass, Alenko. I'm making a joke to my friend. Come on, let's get ready for departure." As they made their way towards the elevator to get to their stations, he added an afterthought. "She probably looks hella good in armour though."
Kaidan rolled his eyes; he was glad the Commander was out of earshot (probably touring engineering with Adams by now) and made his way back upstairs with his friend.
Chapter 1.2 – Eden Prime
"Thrusters, check. Navigation, check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift... just over 1,500 K."
Kaidan sat in the empty co-pilot's chair next to Joker, feeling unnecessary but right where Pressly wanted him. To bide the time he was pointlessly running a few numbers, still amused that Pressly didn't trust Joker enough yet.
"1,500 is good. Your captain will be pleased." The Turian Spectre, Nihlus, had been in the bridge observing their mass relay jump, but Kaidan heard his footsteps retreating after his comment.
Joker looked over his shoulder, making sure he's gone. "I hate that guy."
Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Nihlus gave you a compliment, so… you hate him?"
"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on your way out of the bathroom? That's good! I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead, so that's incredible!" He paused, unsure of whether to continue, but decided to anyway. "Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."
Kaidan raised an eyebrow at him. "You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project, they have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."
Joker snorted. "Yeah, that is the official story. Only an idiot believes the official story."
A voice joined their discussion. "They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs."
Kaidan startled, unaware that Commander Shepard had joined them in the cockpit. He looked over his shoulder and noticed that she's changed into full N7-striped armour since her arrival on-board.
Well, he thought to himself. Jenkins was right about one thing.
Joker and the Commander briefly discussed their doubts of the official story before Anderson's voice echoed around the cockpit, requesting a status report and for Shepard to report for a debriefing.
Shepard crossed her arms and frowned. "He sounded angry. Something must have gone wrong with the mission."
Joker laughed. "He always sounds like that when he's talking to me."
Kaidan smirked and side-eyed Joker. "I can't possibly imagine why."
Shepard raised her eyebrows but didn't question further. "That is a story you'll have to tell me another time. For now, I've gotta go meet Anderson."
Joker and the Commander were right, however, because a few minutes later Joker picked up an emergency transmission from Eden Prime. And a few minutes after that, Shepard ordered Kaidan and Jenkins down to the armoury to suit up.
Chapter 1.3 – First Impressions
Kaidan anxiously paced in circles around the med-bay, thinking about the day's events. He was sure Chakwas was fed up with him, electing to ignore Kaidan and instead flit between her console and checking Shepard's vital signs. He felt like an idiot; why did he have to get too close to that damn beacon? Now you've gone and injured your new XO, Alenko, he thought. Good fucking job.
He wanted to stay in the med-bay to make sure she was fine; to make sure he hadn't screwed up and permanently injured the Commander with some weird ancient technology. He'd been here for the better part of fifteen hours, only leaving to change out of his armour and give Anderson his mission report. Everyone else on the ship had already bunked for the night and woken up for the next day, ready for their approach to the Citadel, but Kaidan was still here, reflecting on what happened on Eden Prime.
Kaidan learned a few things down on that planet.
The first was that he never would get that bottle of whiskey from Jenkins.
The second was that he was wrong about Commander Shepard. She wasn't a good soldier; she was an amazing one. The way she didn't miss a beat between releasing a blast of dark energy and shooting down another target, the way she wasn't afraid to use her biotics, the way she tactfully ordered her squad. She was good at staying on her toes, not letting new enemies or surprise attacks get to her. The appearance of Geth didn't deter her, nor did the husk creatures. Kaidan had asked her curiously, while they were on the colony's tram, why she didn't seem surprised. "I once met this Krogan on shore leave, who was drunk enough to be chatty with a 'petty human.' He decided to advise me with the words he lives by: 'if you ever let an enemy catch you by surprise, you've revealed a weakness and you're already dead.'"
The third was that Jenkins was wrong about Commander Shepard. In action, she was professional to the core, but she wasn't cold. When Geth drones took Jenkins down, the way she spoke to Kaidan was both comforting and bolstering; that they would get him a proper burial, but that they needed to finish the mission first so that Jenkins' death was not in vain. She was quick to invite Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams to join them once she heard about Williams' squad, but she didn't expect any less from her until after the beacon was secured, treating her and Kaidan with equal assertiveness that they'd expect from a Commander. Kaidan was pleased, and he was sure that Williams was too, that the Commander trusted them enough not to be distracted by the loss of their friends and squad members. Commander Shepard was nothing but an admirable, passionate soldier who worked well in a position of authority.
The fourth was that Commander Shepard cared deeply about those under her command. When he had tried to inspect the Prothean beacon a little too closely, and gotten pulled in closer by some sort of force field, she had run up behind him without a doubt and pushed him out of the way, getting herself sucked up by the pull.
The Commander stirred, bringing Kaidan out of his train of thought. He called for Doctor Chakwas.
Commander Shepard assured Chakwas that she was alright, that she was having intense dreams but felt physically fine. Kaidan tried to cut in and apologise, but she didsn't let him.
"Lieutenant, don't worry about it. You had no idea it would act that way, there is nothing to apologise for."
He didn't know why, but that remark had him smiling at her shyly. He guessed Shepard spotted his smile out of the corner of her eye, because she turned to him briefly to give him the smallest of smiles and a nod.
Captain Anderson marched in then, requesting to speak to the Commander alone. Having completed his goal of seeing that Shepard was okay, Kaidan backed down and retreated into the mess.
The fifth thing Kaidan learned that day was that despite being professional on the field, Commander Shepard could be just as kind off of it.
Chapter 1.4 – Induction
"Commander Shepard – step forward. It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."
"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."
"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol: the embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."
"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."
"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."
Kaidan's palms felt sweaty, and he wondered if Ashley or the Quarian next to him (Tali, her name was?) could hear his heart pounding. He was witnessing history right here, and he tried to take in every detail, all the minutiae, of the scene. They were standing behind Anderson and Udina, but Kaidan was amazed that he, Ashley and Tali were even allowed in the chamber to witness this: the birth of a new Spectre.
Shepard squared her shoulders and lifted her head higher. "Thank you for this great honour, Councillors. I won't let you down."
The Salarian Councillor added one last thing to their discourse. "You are tasked with tracking down Saren Arterius, former Spectre, and bringing him to justice. You are free to use any means necessary to take him down. Good luck, Commander. Session dismissed."
The group left the main chamber, gathering just outside.
Udina broke the silence first. "Commander, Anderson and I have a few things to discuss. We also have a few leads you might want to chase. Meet us back at the Normandy when you are ready." And with that he and Captain Anderson left them.
Kaidan looked at Shepard to congratulate her, but Tali beat him to it. "Congratulations, Commander! And thank you for let me witnessing such an event! I really owe you so much and I met you only a few hours ago!"
Shepard smiled at her new Quarian friend. "Thank you Tali. And please, you don't need to thank me, I really should be thanking you for giving us the evidence we needed against Saren. I'd be really happy to offer you a spot on my crew if you would consider it."
Though none of them could see the smile behind her mask, they heard it in her voice. "Of course! You won't regret this."
Shepard patted Tali on the shoulder. "Alright, gang, let's get some more weapon mods and upgrades before we head back. We're going to need more tech-based weaponry against the Geth, and I'm hoping you'll advise us on this Tali?"
The group headed together to the markets, chatting all the way. Kaidan and Tali discussed omni-tools and other tech, and whenever Shepard or Ashley complained that they didn't know what the hell Kaidan and Tali were talking about, they explained as best they could. At the markets the group ran into some guy named Conrad Verner claiming to be Shepard's "Number One Fan," who begged her for an autographed photo. They were all a bit weirded out by him but as they continued towards C-Sec headquarters they joked about the experience.
Garrus Vakarian, the C-Sec officer they met earlier, was waiting for them in front of the elevator to the docks. "Commander Shepard. I heard about your Spectre induction, congratulations!" He reached out a taloned-hand to shake her hand.
"Thank you, Officer Vakarian," she said while shaking his talons a little awkwardly.
"Please, just call me Garrus. I actually had a request, and was hoping to join you on your mission to stop Saren. He's bringing dishonour to the Turian name, and I'd like to help you and your crew."
Shepard nodded. "We need all the help we can get. Thank you for the offer, Garrus, and welcome aboard." She gestured to the rest of them. "This is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. You'll meet the other crewmembers aboard the Normandy. You should also know that the Krogan bounty hunter Urdnot Wrex is also joining us, I hope there won't be a problem between you? I know relations between Krogan and Turian are… fragile."
Garrus shook his head. "That won't be a problem. He passed here earlier on his way to your ship, and we spoke briefly."
"Excellent. Let's head to the Normandy now." The odd ensemble crammed into the elevator to the docks, and Kaidan smiled because it felt a little bit comical. "Williams, will you show our new crewmembers around the ship while I talk to Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina?"
Ashley looked a bit uneasy, but agreed. "Yes ma'am."
The elevator doors hissed open, revealing Udina and Anderson already waiting for Shepard on the platform.
Shepard turned to look at Kaidan and the others before approaching Udina and Anderson. "LT, I want you to inform Navigator Pressly to start running some pre-flight checks. Crew dismissed."
The group weren't quite through the airlock and heard when Shepard lost her cool. "This is not right, Anderson how can you stand by and let this happen? Udina is forcing your retirement!"
Though they didn't hear the rest of the argument once the airlock sealed shut, Kaidan could tell that Udina had his way when Shepard boarded the ship alone a few moments later.
She was angry, and only XO Pressly had the nerve to talk to her. "Commander?"
She barely glanced at Kaidan and Pressly before entering the cockpit. "Set a course for the Artemis Tau system, Pressly. We have some digging to do."
A/N: There is art of Aurelia by xandrasketches on my Mass Effect tumblr if anyone is interested: shepeffect (on the page titled 'Commander Shepard'). Feel free to contact me there, here on FF, or on my main tumblr (url: bioticnerfherder)! Thank you for reading!