Chapter 1 – Sandvich Delay

All was going well in the RED team's headquarters. It was a great day at Gold Mine. Soldier was talking to the heads he collected during battle. Sniper was fixing his van, even though he was supposed to keep watch. Engineer was fixing up the dispensers. The rest of the team started to prepare for the battles against the BLU team.

Only a few people were still in a deep sleep. Medic fell asleep from trying to kill the BLU Spy's immortal head. The BLU Spy head didn't want to wake Medic up because he remembers something about sticking something up his head-hole.

He decided to bounce towards the fridge to get some wine for breakfast. Heavy was just sleeping because he was up all night tending to his gun, Sasha. This time, Scout was up early because it was his turn to cook breakfast for the team. You can probably guess what he was cooking. Yup, pancakes.

Demoman jumped into each of their rooms to rudely wake them up. "Medic! Wake up you sad sack o' crap!" Demoman said as he slapped Medic with his broken whiskey bottle. "Eh, I don't vant to. I've been up studying the spy's head." Medic looked at the desk but he did not find the head.

"Vhat the- Oh nein! Where is that dumm-kopf?" Medic started to search around everywhere for the head. He found him in the fridge, drunk. "How are you drunk so early in the day? Especially on that cheap wine? Typical frenchie."

The BLU Spy dropped the wine bottle from his mouth and started to roll around. "Don't you talk to me like that you fool! Why haven't you killed me yet? It sucks living as a head." Medic took the empty glass from the fridge and threw it in the garbage. "Later." Medic said as he closed the fridge door. "OH MONAMI! What a world!" the spy cried out as the fridge was being closed.

Demoman slammed the door open to Heavy's room and yelled, "Fire in the hole!" Heavy heard what Demoman said and ran to his closet to barricade himself from the explosive shot. A few seconds passed by, but nothing happened. Heavy took a peek and realized it was a fake.

"Demoman, you surprised me. I thought you became crazy or something."

"Eh, don't worry my boy, I haven't lost my sanity yet."

Heavy pondered what Demoman meant by that remark, but he was too tired to continue caring.

As the team walked to the cafeteria, Heavy was extremely excited because today was Saturday. Saturday is Sandvich day. The base will have a section just for the delicious Sandviches all day. "Oh it is happy time!" Heavy said as he was running towards the cafeteria doors.

The RED Spy heard Heavy and cringed in disgust. "Fatty!" the RED Spy said as he saw Heavy running down the hall. The medic came up to the red Spy and hit him on the head. "Quiet dumm-kopf, or you will be joining the BLU Spy. By the way, he drank all your wine." The RED Spy was in great shock. His cigarette fell out of his wide open mouth. "That devious bastard! I was supposed to save that for Scout's mom!" the blue Spy ran off to Medic's room.

Since Heavy was fat, he was not first in line. As he took a tray and went down the section, he could not find a single sign of a Sandvich anywhere. "Oh noo! Where are my precious Sandviches? Scout, tell me where they are!" Heavy looked at Scout in anger. Scout ran toward Heavy to exchange his anger as well. "I didn't finish making them punk. Don't get so pissy. I'll finish them soon. Eat some pancakes. It's better than your stupid diabetes on a bun!" Heavy became furious at Scout and they started to have a debate on which food tastes better.

"In Soviet Russia, Sandvich eat you!"

"What? Russia? That vodka filled place? The Bronx can kick Russia's ass any time!"

"Hey! Move along maggots! These pancakes are getting cold!" Soldier said as he was still standing in the line. "This is not over." Heavy said. "I'll be back." Scout rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever pal." Heavy picked up 3 pancakes and put it one his tray. He got out of the line and sat next to Medic. "Medic I am so sad! I want to eat Sandvich now!" The medic patted him on the back. "Oh, don't worry. Scout vill fix them up around lunch." Heavy moaned and took a bite out of his pancake.

While the RED team was eating breakfast, the BLU team was planning an attack. "Alright listen up men!" the BLU Soldier yelled to catch the team's attention. "Today we are going to fight here, at Gold Rush. We have a cart full of explosives that we will need to push into their base. Let's practice what we're going to do. Any questions?"

The room was silent for a moment. The noise of a cough awkwardly filled the air. The BLU Engineer raised his hand and asked, "Where's Spy?" Everyone in the room looked around, but sadly, they did not find the blue Spy. The blue Sniper and the blue Soldier went to look for him and found the headless body of the BLU Spy. "Oh no! His head? Where is it? I bet the RED Soldier took it. That bastard! He's going to pay for this!