Harry Potter's Crazy Night Out
Disclaimer: I don't OWN ANYTHING! All credit goes to J.K. ROWLING, except from this AU plot, which goes to the MaLTiCS.
Once in a suburban town house, Ron humped an amazing friend called Professor Trelawney. Suddenly Ron felt totally disturbed because he was totally gay. Professor Trelawney was considering suicide because Ron was a God. Dumbledore killed Professor Flitwick happily while Ron made love not horcruxes with Voldemort's baby called Mr Tim Riddle. However, Luna had a big orgy party with Ginny and lots of pedophiles including Professor Snape. They had passionate "fun" while Harry masturbated to his picture of Professor McGonagall. Hermione was jealous of Tonks who killed a massive douche by poking toilet roll up his dick. She died gracefully knowing that Ron married Umbridge to avenge Professor Snape's dick because 'twas shrivelled by Ginny who was raped by Luna The Great Excretion. Meanwhile Ron ate dick Draco who fainted at the sight of Ginny's boobs.
The End.