How I met your father
Author's note: So I began writing this for the deancasbigbang, but ended up with writer's block. I chose and finished writing a different story for the bigbang in the meantime, but there's this WIP laying around on my hard drive, teasing me. I think I'll finish it. Please let me know what you think of it, so far. Feedback is very much appreciated.
Speaking in general, I know I haven't posted anything here for quite some time. The reason, plain and simple, is that I've been writing a) my bigbang and b) mostly RPS lately. If you're interested, take a look at my account on AO3, here (remove spaces): archiveofourown users/ n_nami/ works? fandom_id=27
That being said, have fun with the story! :)
The year 2030
"Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your father."
"Are we being punished for something?"
"No."
"Yeah... is this gonna take a while?"
"Yes!"
The kids – a dark-haired girl who just turned 16 and her 14-year-old brother, a blonde boy with Dean's green eyes – roll their eyes.
"25 years ago, before I was dad, I had this whole other life. -
"In the fall of 2005, I was living in California where I just had taken a new job as a mechanic. I was sharing an apartment with your aunt Jess and your uncle Sam, who had just started Law School at the time, and I was working to support him. Anyway, my life was good - until your uncle Sam screwed the whole thing up-"
The year 2005
Sam knelt on one knee in front of Dean on the living room floor. "Will you marry me?"
"Ugh, Sam, I'm getting captivities here. Or spontaneous breast growth. Of course she will," Dean said, pushing past his brother and heading for the kitchen of their shared apartment. He got two beers out of the fridge and handed one of them to Sam before he removed the cap of his own.
"Cheers, Sammy," Dean said with a sincere smile, dropping the sarcasm. "It is kinda scary to know you will be engaged by tonight," he added, not meeting Sam's eyes.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Sam huffed, fidgeting with the label of his bottle after opening it and drinking a first mouthful. "Anyway, I'm perfectly prepared. Got everything I need to cook up some pasta and a bottle of champagne-"
"So that's why I support you?" Dean asked back with a smirk playing around the edges of his lips. When Sam began to pout, he backtracked quickly. "Dude. Special occasion. It's not like I'm serious, geez."
Sam rolled his eyes. "What are you going to do tonight, then?"
So what did I do? Right. Call your uncle Gabriel.
"Heya, Dean-o, whaddup?" Cheery mood always meant Gabriel A) had just gotten laid or B) was about to. Both options let Dean roll his eyes.
"Hey Gabe. You wanna do something tonight?"
"Yeah, sure. Meet me at the bar at six. Oh, and Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"Suit up!"
Dean rolled his eyes again and hung up on Gabriel.
That night at the bar, the two of them stood idly by the counter, where Ellen shuffled around busily after handing them each a beer. Gabriel, of course, wore a suit and tie.
"Dean, where's your suit? Will you just once listen to me?" Gabriel asked and shook his head in disapproval.
"You don't really expect me to answer that, do you?" Dean flipped him off.
"Dude-"
"Gabe, save it, okay?" Dean shot back good-naturedly, staring into the distance and ignoring Gabriel's unnerved gaze at him.
"So Sammy's getting engaged tonight, huh?" Gabriel asked after a few moments of awkward silence.
"Yeah," Dean drawled out, "and he isn't even thirty." He huffed out a short laugh.
"God, yes. Kiddo is crazy," Gabriel shook his head in disbelief and took a sip from his bottle. "And there I always said: Never think about getting married until you're at least thirty!"
"It's kind of weird, you know," Dean said thoughtfully. "It's always been Dean and Sam and Jess, and now it'll be Sam and Jess and uncle Dean or some shit like that."
Gabriel snorted amused.
"Don't laugh at me, you'll be uncle Gabe then," Dean grinned at Gabriel's screwed-up face at that. "'Sides, my baby brother is getting engaged tonight, so don't hold it against me that I'm getting sentimental." Dean elbowed Gabriel into his side.
The shorter man just quirked an eyebrow at Dean. "Seriously, dude? You need some distraction. And, as your best friend," - he ignored Dean's groan and eye-roll at that - "I suggest we play a little game I like to call Haaaave you met Dean?"
"No, Gabe, we won't play Have you-"
Within a split second, Gabriel had turned around and tipped on the shoulder of a cute little blonde with some stunning curves. Needless to say that Dean had been drooling over her at first sight. "Hey, have you met Dean?" and with that, he was off the radar and probably hitting on some hot guy.
She turned around, and Dean was a bit shell-shocked when he first saw her beautiful eyes and curly blonde hair framing it and the delicious swing of her lips- "Hello, uhm... Dean," he said, at a loss for a better phrasing.
She tilted her head to the side and grinned brightly. "Jo," she said simply. They shook hands, which was followed by a few seconds of awkward silence.
"You wanna go sit?" she added quickly with a finger pointed at an empty table.
"Sure," Dean said, winking before he took the lead and made a beeline for the booth.
"So, how are you? What brings you here tonight?" Jo asked with a friendly smile on her lips.
"Oh, I'm living upstairs, so... I'm pretty much here every evening. And as for today, I was ordered to leave the apartment so my brother could take his time and propose to his girlfriend," Dean chuckled, "It's a bit surreal at the moment, my little brother tying the knot and everything, while I'm still- yeah well. Sorry, I'm just a bit worked up," he said, avoiding Jo's eyes and picking at the label of his bottle.
"I understand, don't worry," she said, grinning and taking a sip from her drink. "You planning on marrying some day?"
"Sure," Dean nodded without having to ponder, and deadpanned, "just gimme the girl first, then we can talk."
She raised an eyebrow. "You seem kinda bitter about this."
Dean huffed. "Huh. The operative word being kinda. It's not like I'm jealous or anything, it's just that I'm having this image of a house and a wife and one-point-four kids, and it's just a bit depressing to notice that I have none of it achieved so far. My brother's four years younger than me and he's straight on his way to that," he said. Then, quieter, "Sorry, I sound pathetic, don't I?"
Jo chuckled. "Yeah, you do, Dean. Don't worry about it. I think it's adorable."
Managing a little smile, Dean blinked surprised at her. "Thanks. Say... you wanna go out sometime?"
"Uhm," Jo answered, glancing at the bar. "You know that Ellen is my mom, right?"
"Oh. Oooh," Dean said. "Uh-oh."
Jo just grinned some more. Dean liked her, but sooner or later, the conversation ended and Dean found himself back at the bar, at Gabriel's side. So much for that. There was no way – no way – Dean was going to hit on Ellen's daughter. Because despite how much he liked Ellen as a bartender, she... well, let's just say, Dean wasn't so sure about having her as his mother-in-law. Her usual mother-hen-behavior around Sam and Dean was enough as it was.
"You know," Dean said to Gabriel, trying not to sound too desperate, "even if, by any chance, I'd be ready to get a girl and marry and have kids – which I'm not so sure about, just for the record - just one question: Where the hell she?"
And right there, across the room, I saw him.
He had dark brown hair, a five o'clock shadow on his cheeks and stunning, deep blue eyes. You know, kids, when you meet someone, sometimes you've got that feeling that time stands still and you're like 'wow, he she/he is hot, I wanna have sex with him/her'. Imagine that, plus a lot of unexpected feelings. The kind where you just think 'Hey, see that guy/girl? Yeah, I'm gonna marry him/her.'
So Dean said to Gabriel, "Hey, see that guy?"
"Yeah," Gabriel answered slowly. "You just know he likes it dirty."
Dean rolled his eyes, a habit that became his go-to reaction in regards to Gabriel. Then he realized the kind of statement he had just made and quickly tracked back.
"Gabe. I'm straight and he's a dude," Dean stated dryly.
"Yeah, so what?" Gabriel blinked at him and tilted his head to the side. "Is that a problem? Come on," he screwed his face up in disbelief.
Dean fixed him with a glare. "I'm straight."
"Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night, big boy," Gabriel shook his head and patted Dean's shoulder lightly, "but all I see is you ogling that guy like you want to go all caveman on him."
"Shut up, I'm not-" Dean began, but got interrupted quickly.
"Yes, you are. Look at that ass. Go ahead and tell me you wouldn't tap that," Gabriel smirked smugly. "Well, I definitely would – I mean, the guy even wears a suit," he added with an approving quirk of his eyebrow.
Dean rolled his eyes. "You're no reliable source for an opinion on that. You'd fuck pretty much everything that moves."
"So what? At least I get laid," Gabriel teased and nudged his elbow into Dean's side.
He was not going to answer that, Dean decided. He got laid plenty. Just, maybe, not lately.
And yes, okay, maybe Dean gave in and gave the guy another once-over. He was slenderly built, but apparently sporty with muscles in all the right places. The blue tie he wore was slightly loosened, a tan trench coat hung open around his shoulders, falling open to reveal a classic suit when he lifted his hand to drink from his water. Tax accountant, Dean mused, steady life and income, going to the gym, down-to-earth, reasonable guy. That was about as far as he could describe him from his first impression.
"No way that guy is anything but straight," Dean grumbled, turning away to nurse at his beer.
"Aaah, well, at least you're finally considering," Gabriel waggled his eyebrows.
"Shut up," Dean said again without much force behind his voice. "The guy practically shouts 'I want a wife and house and three kids.' and not-"
"You know what I read some time ago, Dean-o?" Gabriel interrupted his rant. "Guys - and girls, for that matter - who seem pretty uptight at their profession like to give up control at home. In bed, if you catch my drift. Or, in other words, my gaydar says I bet that guy takes it up the ass."
"Even if he does, I don't."
"Does it matter? Only one of you needs to anyway, and-"
"No, Gabe. No, no, no, no, don't you start that again. I know. I don't want to hear about the pleasures of gay sex from you again."
"Might wanna try to ride the gay train for once, Dean. Odds are you might like it."
"For the umteenth time, I'm not into sucking dick."
Gabriel shrugged. "So what if you actually fall in love and the person happens to have a dick attached to them, would you let him go? Love of your life, the one and all that?"
"There's no such thing. Stop playing games with me, alright?"
"I'm not. It might actually happen, you know. Give it a chance."
"One more word, Gabe, and I swear I empty my bottle of beer over your head. Sticky as hell, believe me," Dean threatened, seriously pissed now. To top it all off, the guy walked up to the counter and ordered something from Ellen. Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat.
He had a nice and easy smile, his lips were full and rosy, and his whole appearance was... interesting. He definitely was the kind of guy Dean would like to have a beer and a nice chat with.
"Don't, Dean. You know that's one of the seven deadly sins? Wasting beer, I mean," Gabriel chuckled and took a sip from his own bottle.
"Your face is a deadly sin," Dean growled, and punched Gabriel's shoulder without much force.
Gabriel turned around with a smirk on his face and tapped the guy's shoulder. "Hey, have you met Dean?"
Dean still gaped at him when the guy turned around and big blue eyes landed on Dean, his full lips forming a genuine smile. In the meantime, Gabriel had slipped free and was currently off doing god-knows-what. All Dean could do at this point was stare into that set of intriguing blue eyes.
"Hey," the guy finally said, "Dean, I guess?"
So we shook hands and had a drink together. He seemed shy at first but opened up pretty quickly. But, like it always is, things just couldn't work out that easily, and I quickly noticed the sour glances he received from his table, where a few girls were waiting for him.
Dean quirked an eyebrow at the group seated in the round booth in the corner before his eyes shifted back to his company. "What's their problem?"
"See the one in the middle, in the black shirt?"
Dean nodded, noticing the weary, bland look in her eyes as she stared into the depths of her wine glass.
"Got dumped by her boyfriend yesterday, so everything that's close to being a man is evil right now."
"Well, that explains a lot," Dean replied and couldn't help but grin. "What makes you so special that they endure your presence, then?"
The man in front of him shrugged, "Hey, I'm just the gay best friend here, so I'm basically harmless." Then he actually winked smugly at Dean.
Not so harmless, then, Dean thought and swallowed. He chuckled then to dub his sudden rush of nervousness, silently cursing Gabriel and his fucking accurate gaydar. The short moment of shock and realization hitting him passed quickly, though. "I see," he looked up into those intense blue eyes then and found himself speechless for a second. Dean swallowed again before adding, "Well, if it helps, you can throw your drink in my face."
The other man grinned. "Still, uhm..."
"Wanna meet up for a beer or two some other time?" Dean interrupted him before he could turn away. Admittedly, he liked him already. He had a nice and easy way to chat.
"Yeah, sure, but I'll be out of town for a week, three days from now. I'm a news reporter, you know."
"Oh," Dean said, making a quick choice at the same moment and reaching out for one of his business cards in his pocket, before he laid it flat on the counter and pushed it over under the other man's hand. He also couldn't fail to notice the neatly manicured hands. Huh. Focus, Dean. "I know it's kind of a long shot, but what about tomorrow?"
Blue eyes shifted up and down Dean's face, searching for something he wasn't sure he would find. A short smile was shot his way. "Sure, I'm free. Dinner?"
"If you like. My number is on that card. It's from the garage I work at, just ask for me," Dean said quickly. "So we can talk about details."
Another short smirk followed. "Will do." Then he reached for his glass of water and threw it in Dean's face, who gasped for air. "Jerk!" He exclaimed loudly and turned around with a wink. Dean was two seconds away from shouting a Bitch for good measure back before he remembered that this wasn't Sam he was talking to.
Then he grinned.
When Dean realized what he had just done – namely, he made an appointment for a date with an openly gay dude. However, he was still straight. In a short moment of panic, Dean's eyes scanned the bar to find Gabriel just about to leave with a hot redhead. Dean waved him over shortly, and Gabriel quickly excused himself to the girl.
"Dude," said Dean.
"What, you got a date?" Gabriel grinned.
Dean eyed him confused. "How did you know?"
"Think I didn't watch you? You look great, I mean, as a couple. Seriously, think about it, Dean. When is the big day?"
Gabriel all but bounced on his feet at this point.
"Tomorrow."
Gabriel pursed his lips tightly. "I thought we were gonna play lasertag tomorrow?"
"How often do I still have to tell you that I will not play lasertag with you?" Dean asked back a bit annoyed, but his smile still in place.
"Fine," Gabriel grumbled. Then he slapped Dean's shoulder apologetically. "Anyway, you got a date. And because I'm your best friend, I don't mind."
"You're not-"
"Bye, Dean-o!" Gabriel interrupted him and took off with the redheaded girl and one last wink at Dean.
"- my best friend," Dean sighed deeply. If he was completely honest to himself, he had no idea what he had just got himself into, and if it would end well. He didn't want to raise false hopes, for that matter, but looking into those deep blue eyes had clearly messed with his head on some level. Another sigh escaped his lips, and Dean tried to focus solely on the fact that it wasn't a date, it was dinner with a guy he just met and could picture as a friend. Get to know each other, is what it was. Or so Dean told himself.
Anyway, Gabriel was out of question to talk to further, and Sammy and Jess probably had sex on the kitchen floor right now. No use going back upstairs. So Dean ordered a glass of good scotch and waited it out, not really interested in conversation of any kind.
Ellen, of course, noticed. "Son, what's got your panties in a twist?"
Dean waved her off, even managing a lopsided smile. "It's nothing."
"Boy, you better not lie to me. You know how that usually ends."
"Me spilling my guts to you and begging for your forgiveness?" Dean smiled genuinely now. Ellen truly was not only a scary potential mother-in-law but also truly like a mother to both Sam and Dean. Seeing as they had lived above her bar for a few months now, she had pretty much adopted the two of them. Of course she naturally picked up on Dean's mood.
Ellen just raised an eyebrow at him then.
"Sorry, Ellen, but I can't quite talk about it now, but it's nothing big, seriously. You can stop worrying," Dean answered as convincing as he could.
"Then you better tell me once you've made up that big head of yours. And stay outta trouble, you hear me?" she added with a frown.
Dean just nodded sincerely. Trouble, yeah, he wasn't so sure if this was trouble. Gabriel's words circled through his mind, again and again. It was just... really, he wasn't gay. The thought alone of going at it with a guy made him shiver acutely.
But then again, looking at the girl at that table over there and imagining her in bed made him shiver just like that. Dean tried desperately not to ponder about it too much until his watch said 11 p. m. and he was pretty sure that he could safely return to the apartment now. After saying his goodbyes to Ellen – and Jo, tentatively and very aware of Ellen's eyes on him – Dean made his way up the stairs and found Sam and Jess already back in bed. Which looked pretty inviting for himself at this point.
So Dean decided to just roll with whatever would come up and went to bed.
Kids, the next morning and day was crazy. I think I'll better spare you the details, because I'm pretty sure you won't want to hear about it. Let's just say I fuzzed a lot about my hair and clothes and your uncle Sam teased me endlessly about being a girl about this. Which, I assure you, is not something you want to hear when you go on your first date with a guy and already question your manhood. Because that was a date and nothing else, but I didn't realize – or didn't want to realize – it at the time.
When Dean came home that evening, he practically beamed at Sam and Jess.
"Dean!" Jess squealed happily when he closed the door behind him.
"How did it go?" Sam inquired, jumping to his feet and in Dean's way.
Dean couldn't suppress a grin. "Uhm... good, I guess?"
"What does that mean, you guess?" Sam chuckled, but let himself fall back onto the couch and scooted over to make some room for Dean.
"It means... I don't know. I don't know what to think about it, honestly. I mean, he's still a guy, and all, but-" Dean left the sentence unfinished, forming the idea that had just come to his mind and said instead, "Sam, how do I always describe my perfect woman?"
With that, Dean flopped down onto the couch.
Sam's expression became serious when he pondered shortly. "Well, she likes a good scotch-"
"He said he likes, and I quote, 'a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.'"
"- she likes olives-"
"He likes olives and I don't," Dean nodded.
"Aw, our olive-theory!" Jess cooed and all three of them grinned.
"- and she wants a house and a dog and one-point-four kids." Sam closed his statement.
"He said he always wanted a husband and a dog. Kids, well, we didn't talk about that," Dean said with a sigh.
"It's probably a gay guy thing," Sam commented, smirking widely.
"Dude, for the thousandth time today: I'm. Not. Gay." Dean rolled his eyes.
"I was talking about him, actually, but... yeah well, if you're already back on your sexuality – I was thinking-" Sam began, but got interrupted quickly.
"I hope you didn't hurt yourself."
"Haha, funny, Dean. Anyway. Who said you have to be gay? I mean, you don't need to think in boxes, okay? You can be bi or just sweet on him or-"
"Dude. Duuuude. Stop right there. I'm not 'sweet' on him," Dean raised his hands defensively.
"Oh yeah?" Sam asked. "Then why don't you tell me how the rest of the date went?"
"Okay," Dean took a deep breath. "We were at that Italian place, you know, two blocks over? Right after we sat down and read the menu, we both noticed that we didn't like the stuff on there. So we went to that small restaurant down that same street and had a beer and a burger and a very good time. I like his sense of humor, he's funny. We stayed for drinks and afterwards, I walked him home."
Sam opened his mouth to say something, but Dean was quicker. "Don't, Sam. It was just because he was living just a few minutes away from here."
"And?" Sam asked after a few moments of silence.
"Nothing. That's it."
"Yeah, what else should have happened?"
"First date, first kiss, anything like that?" Jess helped her fiancé.
Dean hesitated for a second. "What? No!" he eventually replied, his brows furrowed.
"How did you say goodnight?" Sam asked.
Dean shrugged. "Well, he unlocked the door and turned around then and said he had a really good time and offered me his hand. I took it, and said I had enjoyed myself tonight as well, and said good night. I was kind of surprised that he didn't let go immediately-" he left the sentence unfinished, remembering vividly the way he had stood there, the other man so very close to him, holding on to Dean's hand, smiling gently as blue eyes stared into Dean's own.
"Ugh," Sam said, rolling his eyes.
"Dean!" Jess all but flailed her arms in the air. "That was the signal!"
"That was not the signal! There's no such thing as the signal!"
"It was the signal!" someone shouted from the kitchen.
"Gabe! What the hell are you doing here?" Dean's head snapped around as he shouted confused in the direction of the room in question. Slowly, Gabriel emerged from it and flopped down on the chair beside their couch.
"Well, I had to know how your date went, right? And would you really have told me everything?" he said with a raised eyebrow, taking a sip from his beer bottle for emphasis.
"Yeah, maybe not," Dean said then. "Still-"
"Still-" Gabriel jumped in. "It was the signal. You could've kissed him."
"He's a friend and I'm straight," Dean deadpanned.
"What if he was a girl, then?" Jess asked. "Would you have kissed her?"
"No, I mean, the moment wasn't right and-" Dean realized he was in over his head with this.
Gabriel jumped to his feet then, closed the gap to the couch within a split second, and kissed Sam squarely on the mouth. "There, that's what it looks like if someone doesn't give you the signal," he said, while Sam rubbed fiercely at his mouth.
"I swear, I didn't, baby," Sam said towards Jess, who just grinned.
"- but at least I can go to bed tonight and I know: me and Sam? Never gonna happen. You should've kissed him," Gabriel said. "That was probably your only chance and you'll never see him again."
"I can't believe you," Dean replied then, before his eyes fell on the TV which was still running on mute. "Oh."
"What, oh?" Gabriel said, before he followed the line of Dean's eyes to the TV. "Oh."
"What?" Sam and Jess asked in synch as well, confused.
"There he is," Dean explained, pointing at the screen. "He got called to shoot on location the moment I wished him good night. As I said, the moment wasn't right, you just didn't let me finish."
"Wow, he's cute," Jess remarked. Sam just nodded.
Dean couldn't help but smile at the picture on his TV, where the dark-haired, blue-eyed man he had just spent a few pleasant hours with was talking into the camera. Jess quickly reached for the remote and flipped the sound on, and a deep, rumbling voice filled their living room.
"Oh," said Gabriel.
"He's got one bad-ass voice," Sam grinned.
"Understatement," Dean huffed amused.
Gabriel shot him a sideways glance at that. "I've never heard you say that. It's irritating."
Dean grinned, admittedly a bit embarrassed. "Uhm, maybe I picked it up. He-" Dean pointed at the TV- "-has a habit of saying that."
He was met with Gabriel's rolling laughter. "Oh, you're so precious, Dean. I can't believe you still believe in not being sweet on this guy."
"Am not," Dean grumbled insistently.
"It still was the signal," Gabriel said. "And you chickened out."
"Did not!"
I asked him about it years later, and yeah, that was the signal. I could've kissed him.
The year 2030
"And truth is, kids, it actually didn't work out. You know that I don't believe in destiny and the universe and all that crap. But your uncle Sam would probably say at this point: The universe mostly doesn't work the way you want it to. And I might say he's right with that. Because although my life just began to form itself into a bigger puzzle, I didn't realize it at the time. Because this, kids, is the true story of how I met - your uncle Jimmy."
"Uncle Jimmy?" - "I thought this was about how you met dad?"
"It is, kids, it is. Like I said, it's gonna be a long story."