Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nisei, Seimei, Ritsuka, or anyone/anything from Loveless. It all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing in this category.
000
Blood…there was blood everywhere. Falling from the ceiling, dripping down the walls, pooling onto the floor…it trailed down the floors as if pulled forward by an unseen force. Pools of blood became rivers and slithered away into the dark. He wasn't sure where he was. He couldn't see anything but blackness and the blood that was filling his senses and infecting his nostril's with its stale, coppery scent. He coughed and gagged as the scent overpowered him. He just wanted to get out of here. The only way out seemed to be the way the blood was flowing. He walked after it; feet feeling heavy and knees and legs fighting his commands to move. He wanted to utter a spell but found he had no voice with which to do so. Annoyance filled his mind but he knew he couldn't do anything about it, and so onward he trudged, ever so slowly.
A few feet away from where he'd been rooted for who knows how long, the blood stopped as if it had hit a wall. However, there was no wall as he kept pressing forward; hoping to find a way out. The deafening silence he had found himself wrapped in for the duration of his time there began to slowly fade out as scattered whispers overtook him. He looked around in confusion to find the source of the voices, but found nothing. The raven haired teenager continued his path and did his best to ignore the voices. Plain, plastic masks began forming around him; columns of unmoving faces leading his way down the hallway like are that he was encased in. The feverish whispering continued, growing in pitch and volume. He covered his ears with his hands in a desperate attempt to block out the voices. They were almost as annoying as the silence. The faces began to swirl around him like a tornado, whizzing by at a dizzying speed. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and block out the images that were starting to make his head hurt and stomach churn.
He could barely register what the voices were saying as they blended together in a loudly growing screech. His name breezed around him and through his mind as the voices carried on.
Nisei…Nisei…Akame…Akame…
The sound was almost as deafening as the silence as he forced his eyes open to see the horror that was around him. The masks were beginning to slow and were slowly taking shapes. He recognized one or two of the faces as people Seimei had ordered him to kill a while back, but the rest were no name faces. They brought up feelings of dejá vu; as if he had seen them somewhere before but his mind just wasn't registering them. He opened his mouth to speak, to find out what they wanted from him, and shout at them to leave him alone. But his voice failed to work and his mouth felt as if it had been sewn shut and refused to open so he could do anything useful with it. At least he had his nose to breathe with.
Murderer…murderer…killer…psychopath…killer…sociopath…killer…slave…slave…slave….murderer… murderer… murderer…!
He closed his eyes and clamped his hands over his ears again as he sank to his knees. They knew him. They knew who he was, what he was…what he'd done…they knew all of it. They were taunting him. Tormenting him; driving him insane and pushing him to his limit.
The countless names he'd been called by people he knew-teachers, classmates, his own family-flew through his mind louder then anything else the voices had said yet. He screamed from deep within his lungs; yet the sound could not bubble out of his sealed lips and died in his closed mouth. He felt nothing but smooth skin where his mouth was. His ears felt like they were bleeding, and his eyes were stabbing at his mind from the inside. This was pain. It was torture! It needed to end. He had to end it. Had to…
Without the use of his mouth, he couldn't conjure a spell to end his life, and there was nothing in this space besides the voices, the faces, and himself. He slowly opened his deep chocolate eyes; lids covering them halfway. A black pistol he hadn't noticed before lay on the ground in front of him. He scrambled for it, fingers scraping on the ground. The masks hovered closer and closer. A large one took a place in front of him, spinning around while it grinned sadistically. He finally grabbed the gun and held it steady in both hands. The large mask in front of him stopped spinning and was right-side up. He was horrified to see that the mask was him, with rivers of red flowing from the slots were they eyes belonged. The mouth stretched into a wicked grin as the mask leaned over him and began to swoop down.
Not wanting to give the creature the satisfaction of killing him, he pushed the muzzle of the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
000
Nisei awoke with a start. He was sweating despite only having one blanket on and it being late fall. He forgot where he was for a moment before he realized he was asleep on his living room couch, as Seimei had decided that staying with him was his right as the Sacrifice of the two and had fallen asleep in his bed. The lithe fighter sat up, running his fingers through his curtain of raven black hair and tugging on it as his fingers hit the ends. His home was deathly quiet; the TV having gone off a long time ago due to its self timer. The blinking red clock he'd set up for an alarm for school in the morning blinked the time at a little after three in the morning. He groaned and flopped back onto the couch, ignoring the way the darkness pressed in around him and stole his near-perfect vision away. He had to be up in two hours so he didn't really see a need in falling back to sleep. His handheld game system was sitting on the coffee table to his left. Knowledge of this teased him and tempted him to say 'fuck it' and play with the game instead of trying to go back to sleep like a normal person. He sat back up and removed the blanket around him, swinging his legs to the side. He stood up, limbs shaky from sleep, and slowly maneuvered his way around the room.
His eyes began to adjust to the darkness and silhouettes of the objects in the room began to take shape around him. He spotted a second pair of shoes lying haphazardly near the front door and smiled gently to himself. Despite how often they argued, and Nisei being certain the police would one day get called by neighbors who finally had enough, he actually did like having Seimei stay with him. After all, his cat-eared Sacrifice was safer here with him then anywhere else; despite how certain he was that the old lady's home was safe enough to protect him. They'd been through too much together to let Seimei stay somewhere unsafe and get himself hurt or killed by someone looking for revenge (like that little executioner girl with the pigtails. Mikado or some shit?). Especially when he had this rather spacious apartment all to himself; bought by his parents after their divorce and his choice to live with neither of them.
He slowly opened the door to his bedroom to peer in at his sleeping Sacrifice. The plum eyed teen was sitting up on his bed, eyes wide and baggy from a lack of sleep, and he was scrolling through something on Nisei's old laptop that he'd loaned to him a month prior. Nisei wrapped his arms around himself and watched as blue washed over his sacrifice's face and words scrolled furiously across the reading glasses he was wearing. He leaned in the doorway, waiting to see if Seimei would speak to him.
He wasn't surprised in the slightest when nothing came from the younger male. He didn't speak or even breathe in Nisei's direction. Nisei cleared his throat. Seimei appeared startled as if he hadn't seen Nisei there at all, but his surprise was hidden behind a shrill veil of annoyance.
"What?" He wondered.
"Have you slept?" Nisei wondered.
"No."
"You should sleep."
"You're in no position to lecture me. You're awake, as well."
"I was sleeping."
"Then why are you no longer doing that?"
Nisei looked away. "Nightmare."
Seimei scowled and shook his head as he turned back to the computer. "Pathetic." He complained.
Nisei shrugged as he shivered. Seimei just couldn't understand. He was 'perfect' and therefore couldn't have nightmares.
"Nightmares are the sign of a weakened mind." Seimei warned.
"Or just someone who has a lot of regrets." Nisei's eyes held a challenge to them that he was sure his master wouldn't tolerate.
Seimei sighed and closed the laptop, effectively cutting off the only light source in the room, and put it to the side.
"Come here." He ordered.
Nisei found himself moving forward against his will and resigned to it. He took a seat on the edge of his bed. Seimei reached a hand up as if he was going to run his fingers through the elder boy's hair or slap him, but then hesitated and put his hand down.
"Just what do you regret that could haunt you so badly?" He wondered.
Nisei knew the concern in his voice was false and tried to tune it out. "Nothing in particular." Nisei replied. "Just remembering who I am…what I am…"
"And who are you?"
"A murderer…"
"And what are you?"
"A murderer."
Seimei rolled his eyes and slapped the raven on the back of the head. Nisei flinched slightly but didn't cry out.
"That's not what I'm asking. They are not the same thing, either, and you know that. Note the slight difference in the sentences? Elementary for a Fighter such as yourself."
If he didn't know Seimei better then that, Nisei could have sworn he was praising him. Rather, he was praising himself for keeping Nisei well trained as a Fighter, as well as making a generalized statement.
"Hai, Seimei…"
"So I ask you again. Who are you?"
"I don't know."
"What are you?"
"I don't know that either."
"Then how can you have nightmares concerning it if you don't even know what you're dreaming about?"
Nisei didn't say anything. Seimei had a point.
"I…I am a cold blooded killer…a murderer…a sociopath…" The words caught in his throat.
"I thought you were proud of that last one. The self-proclaimed and self-diagnosed sociopath." Seimei huffed.
"Yeah…"
"Then why did you sound so ashamed? And why have a nightmare about being a sociopath?"
"That's what they called me."
"What who called me?"
"The voices."
"What voices?" Seimei cocked an eyebrow.
"The ones in my nightmare…"
"In your head?"
"Nightmare." Nisei corrected. "It was just a dream…"
"Then why is it keeping you awake?"
"I don't know."
"So go to sleep."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"The nightmare…?"
Seimei snarled at him and took off his glasses, setting them gently atop the headboard.
"Don't talk n circles with me."
"I'm sorry." Nisei ran his hand through his hair, scratching at the top of his head. "It won't happen again."
"Better not."
The threat hung awkwardly in the air, making Nisei swallow hard.
"You understand?"
"Hai, Seimei."
"So I ask again. If you know it was just a dream, then why is the nightmare bothering you?"
"I…I saw them…the people I've k…"
"The people you're killed for me?"
Nisei nodded. "There was blood…and their faces as masks…and disembodied voices…I lost use of my mouth and couldn't speak. I couldn't cast spells and…I took my own life." Nisei put his finger to his temple in the shape of a gun. "Pow."
He flopped back onto his Sacrifice's lap, but was quickly pushed off of him as Seimei shifted to get away from his touch.
"I'm pathetic, I know…"
"Undoubtedly."
Nisei curled up facing Seimei's side, but was careful not to touch his master. He knew that the touch of anyone that wasn't his Ritsuka made him sick to his stomach. Yet all he wanted to do was curl up next to him on the bed and bury his face in the blankets. He wanted comfort. He knew he couldn't get it from Seimei, but he didn't want to wake Mimuro, and he had no one else. His parents didn't want him, his brother wanted nothing to do with him unless she fit the family's mold of the perfect child, his sister was too young to understand, and he didn't have friends outside of Mimuro and, if he care to call him that, Seimei.
"What are you doing?" Seimei wondered.
"Um…" Nisei trailed. "Relaxing next to you…?"
"Go back on the couch."
"…no…"
"What?"
"It's my bed…and I'd like to sleep in it for once…"
"You can do that when I'm not here."
"When you're not here, I'm with you wherever you are."
Seimei chuckled. "So you see my point."
"Go sleep on the couch."
"I'm in charge around here."
"It's my apartment."
"I'm your Sacrifice."
"You're my uninvited guest."
Seimei rolled his eyes and slipped further under the covers. He turned sideways and covered his face with the blankets.
"Go away."
"No…" Nisei snuggled closer to the agitated neko.
"I'm warning you. Last warning."
"What if I have another nightmare?"
"Then you go and deal with it somewhere else. Go bother your boy-toy."
"My what…?" Nisei smirked inwardly. "Mimuro…?"
"Whatever its name is."
"His name is Mimuro."
"Whatever."
Nisei grunted and stood. "This was a stupid idea." He scolded himself out loud. "Like hell would you ever understand or care enough to give a little sympathy." He cursed under his breath and landed a punch on Seimei's leg before leaving quickly enough to miss the neko throwing a notebook at him.
000
Once he was back in the living room, Nisei threw himself onto his stomach on the couch. He buried his face in his arms and took a deep breath to calm down his nerves. It wasn't worth it to get worked up over Seimei's insensitivity. He should have known that Seimei wouldn't care that something was troubling him and would just drill him about it until he felt stupid. The bastard only cared about himself and his dear little brother, Ritsuka. Everyone else thought they saw through his act, but Seimei really wasn't interested in his brother beyond his ability as a Sacrifice. Nisei knew he wasn't, but it was fun to tease him about it.
The raven nuzzled into his arms and tried to force sleep to hit him and take him away. Nightmare or not, he had to function in school later. His grades were shit enough as it was. He didn't need to sleep through classes again.
000
Back in Nisei's bedroom, Seimei was sound asleep, curled up under the blankets. He had set the laptop on Nisei's table so it wouldn't be in the way when he was attempting to sleep. The blankets formed a cocoon around him as if to protect him from anything outside of the bed. Had Nisei seen his master in such a defenseless position, perhaps he wouldn't have fallen asleep cursing his name to hell and back.
000
Ritsuka! Ritsuka!
He reached out for his brother, only to have the younger neko bat his hand away as if it were nothing more then a pesky fly. Seimei reached for him again, only to have Ritsuka's plum eyes practically bore a hole through him as he batted the offending appendage away. Before Seimei could stop him, or try to anyway, Ritsuka turned away and broke off into a run. Without him trying to do so, his feet broke off into an automatic run; chasing his brother through what started off as blackness and then morphed into a graveyard. Seimei barely recognized it as the graveyard where he'd come to take back Soubi.
Ritsuka leapt from where he was at a tall blonde figure, who caught him in his arms and then spun to hide him from Seimei's view and stand in front of him. Seimei stopped running, tipping on his toes and flailing his arms to stop his fall. He managed to do so successfully, steadying himself on a gravestone. He finally got a good look at the man standing between him and his brother. Agatsuma Soubi.
"Soubi, move." Seimei ordered.
"I can't do that, Seimei." Soubi's even toned voice denied.
"Why the hell not? That's an order! Get out of my way!"
"No."
Seimei ignored him for a moment. "Ritsuka? Ritsuka, please…come out…you know I won't hurt you…"
Ritsuka peered out from behind the blonde in his path before coming to rest at his side. Soubi lazily draped an arm over Ritsuka's shoulders; Ritsuka, who was now almost Seimei's height and lacked his ears and tail.
"What…what did you do…!?" Seimei growled.
"You drove me away, Seimei." Ritsuka said softly, his voice slightly deepened by age. "I had nowhere to run…"
He pulled up the side of his shirt gently, where the word 'Loveless' was making itself known. It was faint, but it was there; dark brown scars lining amongst otherwise pale flesh.
"You made this happen, Seimei…" Ritsuka glared. "But Soubi…when he came back…we worked things out…very well, as you can see…"
"You…" Seimei took a step toward the blonde, who held up his hand as if ready to cast a spell on him.
"It was my idea. My choice. You have no one to blame but yourself, Seimei. I've been alone and vulnerable for so long…and Soubi…"
"Ritsuka…"
"I love him…Seimei…" Soubi stated. "It started as an order, but…as you can see…" He kissed Ritsuka's knuckles.
"Don't…don't you dare…"
"No, don't you dare." Ritsuka growled. "You've done nothing but ruin my life since the moment you came back!"
"Ritsuka…"
"I ha…"
"Ritsuka…please…please don't say it…"
"I hate you, Seimei…"
With that, the world around him shattered. A crevice split between Seimei and the other males.
"Ritsuka!" Seimei reached out for him as the little island of ground he was still standing on began to crumble. Ritsuka visibly pulled away from him, but the ground underneath him was solid.
He felt himself falling through a black tunnel. He couldn't see anything as Ritsuka and Soubi grew to be further and further away from him. Before he could hit the ground of wherever he was falling, something grabbed onto his wrist and hoisted him onto a ledge. Once on it, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the 'sky'. The person who saved him leaned over him.
"Are you alright, Seimei? You took quite a fall, there." An all too familiar voice chuckled.
Seimei's eyes came into focus. "Nisei…?"
"Who else?" Nisei purred, running a hand along the side of Seimei's face.
Seimei turned away to knock off the offending appendage. "How did you find me?"
"I heard you." Nisei tugged on the otherwise invisible wire that served as their bond.
"I called you?"
"Mhm."
He didn't recall doing so, but was too distraught by the previous events to care. Instead he sat up, their heads softly clunking together, as Nisei hadn't bothered to move his. Seimei blinked at him in irritation. It was a light bump, didn't hurt. The touch of another person's skin-of this Fighter, this killer, this madman-that hurts; stings him down to the core. But he can't pull away. He doesn't want to. Neither of them really wanted to. Heated chocolate met slowly cooling plum as they stared one another down, stared into one another's souls. For a moment, just a moment, he could feel himself lost in the dark orbs. It was as if he's seeing this teenager, seeing himself, for the first time without the rose tinted shades he was so akin to wearing. They're not perfect, far from it. When it comes down to it, they're just two madmen staring into one another while trying to fool themselves into thinking that nothing is wrong with them.
Without a warning, the lithe male was moving, gently pulling away, only to rush forward and crush soft, pale lips to the confused, trembling ones of his Master. Seimei was too stunned to move, but the moment he feels a pale pink tongue grace his lower lip, he ripped himself away.
"What do you think you're doing?" He all but howled at the other male, his subordinate, his slave.
"Hm, you didn't complain until my tongue moved. How interesting." Nisei smirked, the gentle mask that once hid the fact that his sanity was slowly slipping away crumbling to pieces.
All that was left was the devil of a madman; this perfect servant, this imperfect being who only lives to serve him and bring his plans, his dreams, to fruition. Whatever they are, and whatever this is between them, it isn't beautiful. It's a mess; a twisted, ugly, demonic mess.
"Nothing interesting about it. You snapped me out of whatever hold you had over me with it."
"Ah, but master…" The creature purred. "You're the one that has the hold over me."
He tugged at their bond. What was once translucent and fine and beautiful was now dark and real and thick and ugly in the form of a chain and collar around the earless raven's neck. It reached deep into Seimei's soul; tugging hard to snap him out of the cold grip that the reality of this dream had on him.
Although every fiber of his being screamed at him to run, to get away, Seimei felt rooted to the ground. His heart was shattering into pieces, flecks, as the pain of his perfect, once sweet little brother's rejection met the acceptance from this psychopathic teen in front of him. He hid it deep within himself, won't let Nisei see. He can't see, and he won't. Not now, not ever. He can't know just how fragile his omnipresent master really was. He can't see him as a human being. He can't see him as anything less then a God on Earth. The very idea was as insane as the man that readily follows his orders to kill. Seimei won't allow it.
Yet, somehow, it's as if the Fighter could tell. It was as if he just knows that he's been dragging his master down his path into insanity long before they ever officially met one another; that fateful day that seemed so long ago. He smirks. It's a cold, callous smirk that just screams 'I have you where I want you'. He can't escape. He won't escape.
Lips find his again, inexperience meeting slight experience and dancing together in an intimate tango. The next time he felt the tongue prod at his lips, he didn't resist. He's being swallowed up whole, eaten alive from the inside out, but he just doesn't care. He can't bring himself to care. Let this madman drag him into the pits of hell as he wished. After all, it's their destiny to fall together, is it not?
No sooner then the thought entered his mind, he was gone.
000
Seimei awoke shivering, though a thin sheen of sweat was covering his pale skin. He tossed the blankets off of him, realizing how pathetic he'd look if Akame came into the room again. What the hell was that? Those horrid feelings, that horrid reality, were burning themselves into his mind. He knew it was just a dream, so why did he feel so shaken? Ambling out of the bed on unsteady, sleep-filled legs, he made his way out of the room and down the hall to Nisei's living room. The sun is beginning to rise, and he knew the other teen had to be up shortly to get ready for classes. Seimei would no longer play the role of his father in strange, uncomfortable phone calls with the principal about his 'son's lack of attendance. Seimei leaned on the back of the couch, one arm hanging over the back of it towards Akame, his fingers running absentmindedly through silky raven locks that reach the small of his back. Nisei shifted as if he can feel his master's touch and was enjoying it. Seimei ripped his hand away and the other boy shifted back into his previous position. Forehead buried in his cloth-covered arms, he looked like a child who'd fallen asleep while playing a game. His handheld sat, unopened and turned off, on the coffee table, so he hadn't been playing.
Seimei scowled. What was it about this creature that shared his name that fascinated him? The cold words, the cold eyes, the harsh tongue, the pale skin…all of it combined together into a deadly combination that Seimei knew how to bend completely to his will; knows just how to order him into submission when he takes it too far. This madman was going to drive him insane long before he fell into the pits of insanity of his own accord.
The horror of the dream still filled him with a dread that threatened to steal his ability to sleep. The few hours of rest he has gotten won't be enough for him to make it through another day. With another scoff towards the man on the couch, Seimei trudged back to the bedroom. The alarm clock on the table rang, prompting Nisei to slam his fist down on the snooze button at the same time that Seimei slammed the door to the bedroom.
The Sacrifice climbed into bed and snuggled under the covers, trying to retain some amount of body heat. He won't be able to sleep anymore, but he would fake it when Nisei came in to retrieve his school uniform and clean boxers from his closet. The lithe Fighter wiped sleep from his eye as he stared down at the man that controlled him oh so completely. He shifted the blanket to cover the other boy more before pressing pale lips to an even paler temple. Without a word, he shut the door behind him and went to prepare himself for the day.
Seimei's left eye popped open and he let out a sigh. He momentarily thought about joining the apartment's owner in the living room; making himself a steaming cup of tea and sitting on the couch with the afghan Akame had been covering himself with in the night and confiding in him the details of the dream. Sans the kisses they shared, mind you. He shook the thought away.
It was just a dream.
It wasn't real.
None of it was.
Nisei could never understand.