Villain
Santana told me early in the summer about her planned operation to get bigger boobs. Naturally, I balked at such a thing.
"What the hell? Santana, are you crazy?" I yelled. "Coach Sylvester will have your head for this!" Santana continued filing her nails.
"She won't find out. I'm a growing girl, she'll put it off as puberty. It's not like I'm getting a set of D's or anything, just something that'll make them...perkier." I tried not to think about Santana's "perkier" boobs. Not exactly the image I wanted while I was eating dinner.
"Look, why are you doing this? You're already head Cheerio. Why do you need a boob job?" I asked. Santana shrugged, trying to pretend like it was no big deal.
"I have to keep one step ahead of the game. The more people notice me, the more popular I get. My doctor already said that this is as big as I'm going to get. Do you know what it'll be like when all the other girls start developing bigger melons? I'll be called mosquito bite for the rest of my life. Can't let that happen." I wondered why Santana kept telling me this information. She had to know I was going to join the Cheerios again. She had to know I was gunning for head cheerleader; her coveted spot. But here she was, sitting in my living room, telling me things that would get her booted off the Cheerios in a heartbeat. After all, she was the one who tipped off Jacob about my pregnancy. It should only be fair that I do the same.
But this wasn't the first time she'd done this. No, she'd confided in me multiple times. There was one particular piece of information that I held over her. I looked over at Brittany who sat in a chair with Santana in her lap on the floor. Brittany massaged Santana's shoulders and looked down at her.
"I think they're nice already." Brittany said. "They're soft and fit in my hand perfectly." Ugh. Yes, that other piece of information. Sue had expressively told all of us that unnatural sapphic tendencies were not to be tolerated. She claimed that it was bad enough if we were distracted by boys but to be distracted by other Cheerios? That was like taking two hardworking girls out of the picture at once. And that wasn't good.
So I wondered why Santana had been so nonchalant when Brittany told me they were sleeping together. Santana clarified bluntly that it didn't mean she had gone "all gay or whatever" it just meant that Brittany was better than all the boys in the school combined. Psh, yeah, she would know, I thought with a smirk. We were all friends, yes, but we were also each other's competition. Well, at least Santana and I were. Brittany pretty much just followed Santana wherever she went and did whatever she told her to. Sometimes I thought about telling Sue and it nagged at me sometimes. It would've been so easy to topple Santana from the pyramid (figuratively of course, toppling her literally would make Sue angry, and then we would have to do sprints for an hour). The two of them were having an illicit affair that would make the L Word look tame.
Ok, first, let me clarify something. I have never, ever watched that...that...sinful show. I just so happened to catch it while flipping through the channels looking for a good televangelist. It so happened that the remote battery died then. And it so happened that so did the buttons on the television set itself. And I had no idea what it was, ok? Let's be clear on that. And I certainly didn't TIVO it for the rest of the summer in secret.
But in any case, I knew about Brittany and Santana. And it was a miracle that I didn't get them both kicked off the Cheerios. And therein was the reason. I looked at Brittany and knew why I had never so much as hinted at their relationship. Brittany had always been in love with Santana in that lost puppy way. I thought Santana was always taking advantage of that. She used Brittany, it was obvious that she didn't return her feelings. I could see it in the way Santana watched boys while Brittany watched her. But she was a manipulative bitch. She always did things that made Brittany think that her feelings extended deeper than just friendship or friends with benefits. She would link pinkies, snuggle, or rest her head on Brittany's shoulder to keep Brittany hoping for something more than what they already had. Many times I wanted to just tell Brittany the truth but have you ever seen Brittany sad? Worst fucking thing ever.
Once, Brittany kept a sparrow in her locker. The officials found out pretty quickly when it started chirping at the top of its lungs. When they took it away, Brittany was devastated. It took all week to console her. Sometimes Brittany could be a bitch too, but that was mostly because Santana urged her on. Deep down, she was a real sweetheart, one of the few in the world. And seeing her sad...well, it almost made me question if God existed. But Brittany was happy the next week and I stopped questioning His presence. And even though Santana, for a brief few days, showed genuine concern, I was still convinced that she didn't give a damn about Brittany.
At least, that's what I thought sophomore year just after I had gotten kicked off the Cheerios. I was angry, hormonal, and wanting to drag someone down with me. Santana was the perfect target. I made an appointment to see coach Sylvester. But I couldn't get the nagging feeling that I was doing something horrible. When Brittany approached me right as I was about to march into the coach's office to tell her that Santana was engaging in what she called "useless acts of depravity", I stopped to listen to her.
"I know what you're going to do." She said. Sometimes Brittany could be observant at the worst possible times. I crossed my arms.
"What?" I asked.
"You're going to tell coach Sylvester about us." Brittany replied.
"What do you care? She's a cold hearted bitch!" I said. Brittany tucked her hands in her pockets.
"Because I love her." She whispered, looking around to make sure no one heard her confession. "Please, don't hurt Santana." Those simple words cut deep into me. I didn't know why but Brittany's pleas got to me. She looked at me with those bright innocent eyes that you'd have to be a psychopath to say no to. "Please, Quinn? I know she can be mean sometimes but she's really just scared." I laughed in her face.
"Her? Scared?" I laughed at the absurdity of it.
"She is. She comes over sometimes and cries because she thinks no one likes her. So please don't hurt her." I was stunned. In my mind, Santana was this emotionless ladder climber focused only on who she needed to pull down or step on. I thought Brittany was her tool. But it seemed I was wrong. Brittany was hopelessly in love with Santana, but maybe I was wrong about it being one sided.
"You wanted to see me, preggo?" Sue asked, poking her head out of the door impatiently. Brittany gave me a look of desperation.
"I.." I couldn't do it. "I was just going to talk to you about getting on the Cheerios after I have my baby."
"Not going to happen." She slammed the door and I saw my chance of taking Santana down float away.
"Thanks Quinn." Brittany said, hugging me.
"I didn't do it for her, B." I replied. "And you can't let this get out, ok?" Brittany nodded, breaking into that grin that lit up a room.
"Your secret is safe with me." Brittany said.
"Yours too." I promised.
I would've thrown Santana to the dogs easily for her actions that year. But whenever I felt the urge to destroy her, I thought of Brittany. I hated that Santana got off scott-free. I was supposed to be ruthless, I was supposed to be the younger version of Sue Sylvester. I had that potential. I just never lived up to that potential. Getting pregnant, being an outcast...it really teaches you something about humility.
And when the school year started and Santana came back with a new set of knockers, I found that it was a lot easier to simply ignore them, large as they were. I could do better than to take people down to get to the top spot. I could earn it. Not only did I keep quiet, but I was almost protective of her, if only for Brittany's sake. When Jacob interviewed us and his perverted cameraman kept videotaping Santana's chest, I jumped in and yanked the camera away. The first thing that occurred in my mind was, "Sue might see this." I surprised myself. I could've let them tape her, I could've let Sue come to the conclusion that those weren't real. It wouldn't have been my fault. But I still protected her. Jacob eventually turned his attention to Santana.
"And how was your summer?" He asked suggestively. I was just about to jump in when Brittany did so, and with something ridiculous to prevent him from asking any damaging questions.
"I spent the summer lost in the sewers." Brittany said. Jacob gave her a skeptical look, saw Rachel Berry and walked away to follow her.
"Please don't hurt Santana." Those words kept haunting me. I wanted back on the Cheerios (which I got easily once my mother told me about the enormous fund that the local churches were starting up for abstinence only education.) But I also wanted my spot back and the easiest way to the top was to latch onto the current leader and use her to leverage myself up. I needed to be a villain. I need to be the ice queen. But I couldn't.
"What you did back there was cool." Brittany said. I shrugged, feigning indifference.
"Whatever." I replied. "As long as I'm back on the Cheerios." Sure enough, once the results went out, I was back on the team.
I suited up for the first time since I got kicked off. The new uniforms were hideous and I missed the old design but it still said Cheerios and it still meant that I was popular again. I admired myself in my uniform. Sure, Mr. Schuester had convinced me that I was worth more than just the uniform I put on, and I learned a lot during my pregnancy, but it still felt good to wear the uniform again. I felt more confident than ever.
It came out of nowhere. One minute I was walking down the hall, with heads turning like they should, the next I was slammed hard into the lockers. I looked at who it was and almost gasped. Santana was looking at me with the most murderous gaze I'd ever seen. Her eyes were simply filled with every intent to kill me. A crowd gathered around us. I felt angry and confused. What the hell had just happened?
"You did this to me, you told coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!" She accused. I responded even though I still had no idea what was going on. My reply was mostly out of rage. Looking back, I pretty much told the entire school in that moment. But what I didn't do was tell Sue Sylvester, and that was what pissed me off.
"You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. You had a boob job."
"Yep, sure did!" She slapped me, hard. And I wasn't thinking so much. All I knew was that she was attacking me, not just verbally like she usually did, but physically. I yelled at her some more and the rest became a violent blur. Mr. Schuester intervened just as Santana hurled me to the ground. When Santana walked away, I almost broke down in tears. I had no idea what was going on, I had no idea why the hell Santana had attacked me in the middle of the hall. After my initial shock wore off, with Mr. Schuester sitting next to me listening to my uneven breathing, I began to piece together what had happened.
From Santana's statement, it was clear that coach Sylvester had found out about her "summer surgery." But I certainly didn't tell her. Though it figured, the only person that knew about it was me.
No.
No that was a lie. There was one other person that knew about it. My mind flew in a million directions. I hadn't told coach Sylvester and Jacob wouldn't publish anything without any proof. The only other person who knew, besides her parents and they certainly wouldn't open their mouths about anything like that, the only other person who knew was...
Brittany.
My thoughts returned to the fight scene. Things cleared up a little and I distinctly recalled Brittany's sad, apologetic look as she followed Santana into the crowd of people. I realized it was Brittany.
I felt betrayed and wronged. I had done nothing to anger Santana and now she was pissed off at me. I was so furious that tears sprung to my eyes as I went to my locker afterwards. Brittany approached me, looking the sorriest I'd ever seen her.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
"It was you, wasn't it?" I said.
"It just...it just slipped out. Coach called me into her office and she ordered me to help her. She wanted me to tell Principal Figgins that Beiste touched my boobs. I didn't want to and I blurted out that they looked like San's new ones and...coach got really mad. That's when she called San in..." She bit her lip.
"That was stupid."
"She's going to hate me." Brittany said, looking down at her feet. I took in a deep breath and stared at my locker.
"No, no she's not." I replied. "She'll continue hating me."
"You're not going to tell her?" Brittany asked.
"No."
"Why?" Why? That was a good question and I didn't have the answer. Apparently I had been promoted to head Cheerio due to this incident so maybe that was the reason. Or maybe it was because it was easier to have Santana hate me than Brittany. Maybe I was protecting her, maybe it was because I didn't want the two of them to fight. Or maybe I was going soft.
"Because." I replied. "Because." Brittany pulled me into a giant hug.
"Thanks, Q."
Maybe it was because in this scary world of high school, they were the only couple I relied on to believe that true love existed.
"I'll see you at practice." I said.
And at practice, I watched Santana as she struggled at the bottom of the pile. Sue prattled on about our routines. Santana caught my eye and snarled at me. I looked away. It was easier for her to hate me. Even if I told her the truth, she wouldn't believe that Brittany would do something like that.
I ignored her looks of pure, unfiltered hatred and continued discussing routines with Sue. I kept thinking to myself that it was ok if she blamed me.
After all, I guess I am the villain.
Fin
Author's note: So I've watched the first episode of the second season about...oh, three times now and it kept eating at me that it was never officially confirmed that Quinn told Sylvester about Santana's boob job. And I kept thinking that maybe it wasn't her. From the yanking of the camera in the initial scene, to her look of regret when Santana's at the bottom of the pyramid, it never quite seemed like Quinn ratted on her. That's where this story comes from. Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment if you did!