Fooling Leonardo
Snacks were out.
Leo made the announcement as he snapped a padlock on the cupboard containing all of Mikey's favorite foods.
"Not fair dude!" Mikey protested. "That's all my stuff!"
"You really shouldn't eat so much junk Mikey," Don commented mildly as he bit into an apple slice.
"Are you gonna pack up Raph's beer?" Mikey demanded.
"Raph doesn't have a problem with his beer Michelangelo," Leo said calmly.
Using his full name meant Leo was in leader mode. It was a bad sign.
"You're saying I have a problem?" Mikey asked, hands on hips.
"What problem?" Raph asked as he sauntered into the kitchen. He saw Mikey's stance and then noticed Leo standing with his arms crossed over his plastron. Lastly he noticed the padlock on the snack cupboard.
"Leo's having a snack intervention," Don told him.
Raph snorted and began making himself a sandwich. "Fat lot of good that'll do, Leo. He'll just get April to buy him some junk."
"No he won't because I've already called April and Casey. They know they are not to encourage Mikey's habit," Leo said with a small smirk.
Mikey's eyes grew large. "Leo! That's just, that's just . . .wrong."
"Show me you know how to eat healthy for at least two weeks and we'll discuss the possibility of you eating junk food again. Honestly, you were practically gasping for air after we sparred this morning and last night you stopped running partway through our exercise to take a breather," Leo said.
"That fatty food gathers around your heart, Mikey. It clogs up your arteries and throws your body out of balance," Don added.
Mikey looked over at Raph, thinking to garner a little support. After all, Raph liked his honey roasted peanuts while watching sports and those were locked up too.
"Don't look at me." Raph's gold eyes sparked. "I can live without the junk just fine."
Mikey shook his head and then it snapped up as he had a horrible thought.
"Popcorn? Don't tell me I can't have popcorn. Leo, you know I'll die without popcorn!" Mikey pleaded, his face crumpling under the thought of such torture.
"You can have popcorn," Leo said graciously but held his palm up just before Mikey started to thank him. "It just has to be air popped with no butter and a light dusting of salt."
Mikey's face fell. "What? That'll taste like cardboard," he whined.
"That's the way it's going to be," Leo told him. "Two weeks no junk and if you ever want to see another Twinkie, you'll do a better job of eating fruits and vegetables during the two weeks."
Mikey stared at Leo. The look on his brother's face was completely indomitable.
It was obvious a straight on frontal attack was not going to win him this war, so Mikey decided to regroup and rethink his strategy.
"Fine," he huffed. Marching out of the kitchen he flung back over his shoulder, "I hate all of you."
Four days later he was starting to become desperate. Just to check on how thorough Leo had been, Mikey had gone to see April. Before he even got a chance to say anything, she informed him that while she loved him dearly, she was not going to become involved in disregarding Leo's request.
She also stood squarely in front of her kitchen door, so any hopes he had for sneaking a few things out of there were quickly dashed.
Casey was another hopeless cause. Mikey had managed to sneak into his kitchen while Case was taking a leak, but all he had to eat was a box of raisins, a half loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter. Obviously, he was eating his meals at Aprils.
When Mikey broached the subject of making a run to the market, Casey had just laughed at him.
Mikey had even tried picking the padlock. He was a ninja after all. That's when he found out Leonardo aka Splinter Junior had enlisted the aid of their father in the effort to keep Mikey away from his beloved junk food.
Hearing his father clear his throat loudly, Mikey had almost stabbed his own hand with the lock pick.
"Um, hey Master Splinter," Mikey said sheepishly, stepping back from the cupboard and attempting to hide the small tool behind his back.
Master Splinter just stared at him for a moment. "You are aware that this is not a punishment your brother has inflicted on you, are you not Michelangelo?"
Mikey blinked in surprise. "It's not?"
"No my son. Leonardo is greatly concerned about the effects of this junk food on your health. It is his job to ensure the well-being of every member of this family and it your job to assist and obey him."
"I don't eat that much junk," Mikey grumbled in an undertone.
"Then purging your body of the toxins should not be difficult," Master Splinter told him.
As Mikey started to leave the kitchen, Master Splinter called after him, "Do not attempt to open this cupboard again Michelangelo. My hearing is quite acute."
Mikey couldn't just walk into a neighborhood bodega anymore either. There had been such a jump in hold ups that all of the markets in a ten mile radius had adopted a 'no hat, no caps' policy. He couldn't very well disguise the fact he was a turtle without a hat.
In the meantime, Mikey had been forced to endure vegetables. He could stomach the green beans, the zucchini and even the squash. But last night Don had placed a large bowl of broccoli on the table in front of him. Mikey almost gagged.
"Just think of them as little trees, Mikey," Don said as he sat down.
Mikey scowled at him. "What, am I seven? Seriously?" He picked up a stalk and curled his lip at it. "Can I cover it with butter or something?"
"No," Leo said. "Remember our deal. Two weeks without junk and you have to eat vegetables."
"We didn't make a deal, Leo. You gave me an order and this blows," Mikey pushed his plate away.
Raph laughed just before shoving a large piece of broccoli into his mouth. "Who was it that didn't wanna be treated like he was seven?"
"Ha, ha. Very funny Raph." Mikey folded his arms and leaned back in a sulk.
Don got up to retrieve something from the refrigerator and came back to the table with it.
"Try this Mikey, it should help." Don sprinkled a thin layer of grated parmesan cheese over the broccoli on Mikey's plate.
Mikey had managed to consume the broccoli after that, but he was far from happy about it.
Of course, movie night had sucked big time. It didn't matter that his brothers had gone out of their way to pick out a film Mikey was sure to enjoy. Without his giant bowl of beloved buttered popcorn, the entire movie was just two dimensional.
Leo had tried to snuggle with him on the couch once the film had begun, but Mikey was angry with him and not to be mollified. With a disdainful shrug of his shoulders to remove Leo's arm, Mikey had gotten up and taken a seat on the floor. Abandoning Leo to his own hand for the night was the only satisfaction Mikey got that evening.
The thought that he still had to endure another nine or ten days without his favorite snacks was just too much. Resting his chin on his hand, Mikey sat on the edge of his bed and tried to think of something he hadn't already tried. He could stand the vegetables a whole lot more if he had a stash of something edible to take the taste of green stuff out of his mouth.
His eyes flicked around his room as he reviewed all of his options. Try as he might, he could think of nothing he hadn't already tried, and now he was getting a headache.
Mikey's eyes landed on the cover of the latest issue of one of his comic books and he sat staring at it for a few minutes. A little pig-tailed girl was lying in the middle of a street and a huge car was bearing down on her. Something niggled at the back of his brain.
Shell! Mikey sat bolt upright and clapped a hand over his mouth before the triumphant yell could escape. Leo hadn't thought of everything.
"Maybe this radical diet change thing is doing some good, Leo," Raph commented as he blocked his brother's jab.
"How so?" Leo asked, ducking Raph's counter move.
"Mikey's been in a much better mood the last few days. I sure as shell didn't think he'd make it two weeks without a major melt down," Raph twisted and mule kicked Leo.
Leo rolled out of his fall, caught Raph's downward swing and flipped his brother onto his back. "He has been a lot more mellow than he was the first three days. Maybe he just needed to get over the initial shock."
Raph escaped Leo's attempt to pin him and gained his feet. "That's what surprises me. He ain't ever been that good about accepting something after he put up a big stink about it. Usually, he tries to find a way around things."
"Hmm," Leo replied thoughtfully, dodging Raph's fist. Raph was right, things were going just a little too well with Mikey.
Mikey whistled to himself as he strolled through the sewers on his way back to the lair from the spot where he had hidden his 'stash'. It was a stroke of brilliance that he'd thought to call Angel and ask her to buy him his favorite snacks. Leo had forgotten about the young girl when he was making a list of their friends and turning them against the orange banded Turtle.
Having to leave the lair to munch on his goodies was a pain in the ass, but Mikey could stand it knowing he was pulling one over on his oldest brother. Mikey even had a box of wet wipes to clean his hands and face after he'd eaten so there wouldn't be any tell-tale crumbs on him, and he diligently brushed his teeth and rinsed with bottled water before he returned home.
Strolling happily into his room, Mikey was suddenly stunned by Leonardo swarming over him and shoving him against the wall.
His mouth was on Mikey's before the younger brother could speak and the kiss was so urgent and searing, Mikey found himself shaking with need within minutes.
Leo's hands moved over his body, rubbing Mikey's plastron and then his vulnerable sides, sliding down over sea green hips before stroking muscular thighs. Mikey moaned into Leo's mouth, completely overwhelmed by the abrupt onslaught.
When Leo's mouth came off of his, Mikey panted and then took a deep breath.
"What is this all about?" he managed to ask.
Leo's tongue was playing on Mikey's jaw while his strong hands continued to explore Mikey's body.
"Does it have to be about something Mikey? " Leo asked as his tongue moved lower.
"N. . .no I g. . .guess not," Mikey stuttered as Leo removed his nunchucks and belt before licking a trail down Mikey's center front line.
Mikey gasped when Leo's tongue urged his arousal out of hiding and then clenched his fists as his brother lapped and sucked at his erection until it was throbbing.
When Leo released him to stand back up, Mikey groaned.
"Don't stop now Leo," he pleaded, his eyes shut as Leo licked his way back up to Mikey's throat.
"You do know you're going to have to start the two weeks over again, don't you?" Leo whispered, gently biting Mikey's neck.
"Huh, what?" Mikey barely registered the words as Leo's hands dipped and pulled with expert precision.
"For cheating," Leo explained.
Mikey managed to pull his head away and look at his brother. Leo's amber eyes were twinkling as they met Mikey's blue ones.
"What makes you think I've been cheating?" Mikey demanded.
Leo chuckled. "There is more than one way of finding out if you're eating junk food Mikey." Leo ran his wide tongue over the sheen of sweat on the side of Mikey's neck.
Mikey twitched, enjoying the sensation, but his mind came back to Leo's statement.
"H-how?" Mikey wanted to know.
A corner of Leo's mouth came up. "You taste just like Doritos down there." A quick pull emphasized his point.
With a groan, Mikey let the back of his head tap the wall. He was sure he had done a good job of hiding the evidence, and he was sure he had covered his back trail expertly. Being sure of all of those things had actually left him a little careless.
Mikey shivered as Leo continued to touch and stroke him. In Mikey's world there really was only one thing he could be sure of.
There was absolutely no fooling Leonardo.