Eren Yeager wasn't exactly a jealous partner.
Actually, he wasn't jealous at all.
Actually, he didn't really care about his partners.
Since his last year of high school he had dated many, many people. Both girls and boys, he didn't particularly care about genders.
Deep down, he knew what he wanted to accomplish.
His eyebrows furrowed from a mix of both irritation and nostalgia. He couldn't believe he was so lame to still remember stupid longings from high school that didn't even matter now.
After many pointless and short relationships, Armin, his best friend since childhood, felt the need to intervene and convinced Eren to try and date somebody he shared some kind of friendship -or at least something- with.
He had opted to date Jean, of course. They didn't really have a great friendship to begin with anyways, so if something happened it wouldn't be so bad. Or so he thought.
Dating the bastard hadn't been the best idea, which reminded Eren why he was at 3 a.m. in the convenience store located in the street corner from their apartment.
He was still panting when he realized he had been standing in front of the same shelf for more than 10 minutes now. There weren't many people there anyways, so he tried to compose himself and pretend he had been checking his phone all along.
The picture he had as a screensaver showed Jean and himself. They had taken it on the last Christmas, which was the first he hadn't pass drunk on his house with some stranger lying beside him.
He couldn't help to painfully close his eyes at the fresh image on his head of Jean fucking the supposedly innocent Marco when he had come into his and his boyfriend's apartment.
The pain was there, and he knew exactly why he felt so bad even though he was sure he didn't love Jean. Actually, all the pain came from the guilt he felt for not doing so.
He did care for his current boyfriend –he didn't know if he was "current" anymore though-. Jean had been the first person that he really felt sexually attracted to since he started this whole "date everybody" thing, but he had also helped him feel less lonely than what he had always felt. He had grown to actually have what he thought was a romantic relationship, where he cared for the wellbeing of the other person.
While Jeans betrayal was bad and he could blame everything entirely to him if he wanted, he knew this wasn't the case.
He didn't love Jean, and Jean felt it. He had always known that Eren was pretending to be in love, and he definitely always would. Eren tried his best to convince himself that he loved Jean and that he had forgotten about the person who still came into his mind whenever he had sex or touched himself now. The person whose name he had called while being hands in action with Jean, just before he had to leave last week to his parent's hometown to pay them their required annual visit.
The person he had never even had a relationship with, which was the lamest part of it all.
He decided it was enough. While he didn't know what to do and he definitely felt like shit, all he could do was search where he would spend the night now. Jean hadn't followed him, and he didn't want him to do so now.
He cleared the tears he didn't even realize had been strolling down his face until now, and was about to call Armin and start walking to the exit when he saw it.
Well, him.
He repressed the surprised yelp that came in the best he could and went back to face the same shelf he had a second ago. He just took whatever was on the shelf so his action wouldn't seem so suspicious.
Eyes wide. Pit of stomach feeling. Heart pounding the same exact way it did 6 years ago in that high school room.
He had seen him for just a couple seconds, but it was enough to recognize those hard, narrowed grey eyes he had fallen completely for in high school. He had expended way too much time on those days looking at the guy to be able to recognize him in 0.5 seconds now, even if he hadn't seen him in 6 years.
He couldn't believe this was happening, but it was, and he had no idea of what to do now. He had dreamed about seeing him again, had imagined what he would do and what he would say, but right now all of that made him sick and want to run away.
"…Eren?" That soft, deep voice almost made him melt before he realized it was too late to scape now.
He slowly turned to face the man who was just in front of him.
"S-sen- Levi" He felt so lame both for the way his voice came out and his impulse to still call him Senpai even though he hadn't been his teacher for 6 years now.
Levi was facing him completely, his eyes studying him while having that unreadable expression he so well remembered. Everything about him was the same as his memories. The soft looking black hair, the fine features of his face, the way even though he was a couple of inches taller than him he still felt fragile and little in comparison. He stopped his shameless staring before he could start watching at his body.
His grasp at the object he was holding increased progressively as the pounds of his heart did.
"It's been a while" Levi finally offered, his expression softening in a way that could have made Eren squirt, was he a school girl in love. Maybe he kind of was.
"Y-Yeah…" Eye contact was way too much for him at this point, he just couldn't bear it.
All memories of his only crush ever running through his mind and heart at once. All what he had tried to forget and at the same time get with all those empty and short relationships through the 6 years he hadn't seen him.
Now, he had Levi in front of him. Was this a destiny? Should he make a move or something, like he had countless times with meaningless people? Only this time, the person he was going with would be the one he actually liked and had loved since high school.
He dropped his look to his hands as an instinct to hide the both dreamy and sad look he surely had on his eyes, as well as the blush he could feel spreading through all his face.
But to his complete and utter horror, the random object he had taken in his desperation a while ago was nothing else than "Wet Uranus Wicked Anal Lubricant", which he looked with wide eyes as an exasperated yelp came out of his throat. He quickly shoved the object against the shelf again to proceed and cover his face completely ashamed.
"It's not like that! I'm not…That was…" he tried to explain but, was there any explanation for that?
He was surprised to see poorly-hidden amusement on Levis expression "Hey, I'm not judging you or anything. " His face came back to normal; while he looked Eren heavily, suddenly a little worried "I actually saw you since you just came into the store. At first I didn't recognize you, but you seemed troubled." He took Eren's wrist on his hand, and Eren trembled. "You okay, kid?"
The way his teacher-Erm, Levi used to call him repeated itself in his head several times. Was he still just a kid for him?
He always dreamed on encountering Levi again, like this. He dreamed of a chance to start something between them, since that didn't seem possible when they were teacher-student. But he never thought of the possibility (actually, he never thought he would ever see Levi again) of Levi seeing him like a kid forever. Not 6 years without seeing each other, where he had matured and grown a lot from that pubescent kid in love.
Even the touch of Levis hand on his skin seemed fatherly.
And on top of everything, he had taken the woman he saw that day on Levis high school office -the last day he had seen Levi- out of the picture.
Was he stupid? That was probably Levis Fiancé at the time. Levi would possibly even have kids with her by now.
No, he didn't even know if Levi was at least bi to probably feel attracted to him in the first place. Everything was completely ridiculous.
Having been in love for 6 years with a guy that never even showed any interest was completely ridiculous.
He removed Levis hand from his wrist. "I'm Okay. I'll be going now." He knew his voice said the exact opposite. He avoided eye contact by all means and started going out when footsteps and a familiar voice came into the store.
"Eren!" Jean came in running, visibly exhausted and only wearing boxers and a thin shirt regardless of the cold that was striking the city on those months.
Eren didn't think the situation could be worse that night. Great.
His attempt to leave became more urgent, but Jean took his arms impeding him from leaving. "You know we can't leave things like that. Where are you planning on staying, asshole?" His voice was exasperated and hard, and he tried to soften if a little before saying "What you saw back there-i-it was bad, I know, but you know that you are to blame too!"
Eren tried to loosen Jeans grip from his arms, he didn't want to listen to what he knew was coming.
"Oh, so now I'm the one to blame for you fucking Marco senseless? Please Jean, have some dignity. We are fucking done, let me go!"
He did feel that he was the one to blame too. He took care of Jean on a superficial level- making sure he did okay on his day-to-day activities, health, and stuff like that- but he never really gave anything more into their relationship.
He couldn't even remember a time that he had answered Jean when he said I love you. He didn't even kiss Jean properly, always keeping their kisses short and minimal.
"Well, Yeah, you are! Even when I just fucked another guy senseless I'm probably the one that's actually serious about this relationship. What does that say to you?! Are you even capable of loving somebody, Eren?! "
"Well maybe I could have if you hadn't fucking cheat on me while I was gone! Are you that desperate!?"
"Please, we've been going out for 1 year now and whenever I tried to talk to you about feelings you avoid the topic! Up until now, love to you just means to have somebody's cock into you; or yours deep into them, whichever comes first" Jean was now shaking him, probably out of irritation and sorrow. He had learned to recognize that when Jean wanted to cry, he covered it by getting angry.
Jeans words hurt. And more so, because they were true. Partially, because he knew he did love once.
He had forgotten Levi for a second until Jeans hands were strongly taken out of the dead-grip they had on Eren's shoulders. Levi pushed Jean a step back from Eren.
"Oi, it is enough. Leave him alone for now, Kirstein"
Jean must have been really surprised to see their high school teacher there, because he went rigid while staring at them with wide eyes.
Eren could guess what was going through Jean's mind. Everybody knew that he had been in love with their math teacher in high school. Eren himself had been drunkenly crying on parties and screaming "Levi come back" and stuff of sorts, after their teacher suddenly transferred to another school, which was specially weird since he had been working there for 10 years.
After a moment of silence, Jean laughed bitterly. "So, this is it, right? I bet the whole deal of Marco and I came in perfect for you after all, since it seems you've finally been getting fucked by the cock you always craved. Fuck you, Eren. Marco is much better than you anyways; I don't even know why I came here" Jean threw Eren's keys to him.
He had left all his belongings except for what he had on his pockets on the apartment, after he saw Marco and Jean and ran without direction, away from the view.
Jean turned to face Levi before saying in a low, hateful tone "No wonder he screams your name while getting fucked. I wonder what Mrs. Ral would say about that?"
So that was my first fic D: My first language is not English so if you found any error please tell me!
I would love to have a beta reader btw, anyone?xD...Im not really going to send gay fics to my friends hahaha
Also - in case you guys want to check me out :3