Well, this is a humor/parody fic that follows Yugi and his friends, allies, and enemies from Duelist Kingdom to the Ceremonial Duel. It is a parody and will oftentimes make allusions to LittleKuriboh's Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series and various other comedies and shows and movies and animes and songs and pretty much anything that exists in the real world. Disclaimers will be posted each time an allusion to these is made. The characters are bound to be OOC (actually, that's probably a given). This is similar, in a way, to my Alagaesia Goes Crazy story so if any of you have read that then you know that this story is liable to get extremely random. This is done just because I wanted to try my hand at making a parody in the similar style of an abridged series but not quite as short and in written format. This also follows mostly the dubbed version but with some things from the subbed version.
Updates will likely be random. It could be every other day, it could be once a week, it could be once a month but I will update within a month…unless I get caught up in my Code Geass stories (that I'm not posting until I finish at least one of them and editing them) or my Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fanfic.
Also, while this will follow the entire series, it will not be all 224 episodes. I have decided that duels that are two episodes long will be condensed into one chapter, three to four episodes long will be condensed into two chapters, and five to six episodes long will be condensed into three chapters. I hope that you enjoy it though and reviews, as always, are much appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, I never have and I never will and I am only saying this once. I also don't own Star Wars and Farscape.
. . .
Yu-Gi-Oh!
A Series of Misadventures
. . .
Season 1
Misadventures in Duelist Kingdom
. . .
Episode 1
Of Wet Floors and White Dragons
. . .
Long ago, when the pyramids were still young, ancient Kings played games known as the Shadow Games in which real monsters were brought to life and terrorized everyone. Though I don't get why they're called shadow games. Is that going to be explained at some point?
It's not that hard to figure out. Get to the point!
Okay, okay, gees. Ahem, anyway…where was I?
Monsters.
Oh, right, yeah, so the people of Egypt played games with actual monsters, which is really stupid. It's a wonder no one was eaten by a giant dragon or something, or did that happen? I wonder.
Dude, get to the point!
I'm getting there! Umm, where was I? Oh yeah, so, these Shadow Games erupted into a war that threatened to destroy the world. Yeah, like that's a big surprise. Dude, they were playing games with actual, living monsters. Of course that's going to threaten to destroy the whole freaking world. I mean, really!
Hello, that's not in the script, for one, and we're on a time limit, for another. Get to the point.
Fine, fine. Where was I? Oh, yeah. However, then a great and powerful Pharaoh sealed the magic away, imprisoning it within the seven Millennium Items. Fast forward three thousand years…
Dude, that's not in the script.
Well, it is now! You said we're on a time limit. I'm trying to hurry this up! Anyway, fast forward three thousand years…
You already said that. And I thought it was five thousand.
Will you shut up?! You're the one who's delaying us now and it's three thousand, damn it! Anyway, so three thousand years later—shut up!—a boy named Yugi solved a complex puzzle known as the Millennium Puzzle and unlocked its secrets! Well, not really, but that's beside the point. And he was infused with magical energies.
Destiny has chosen Yugi to prevent the return of the Shadow Games and all that.
Yeah...
I'm done.
. . .
It was a regular day at Domino High School in Domino City in Japan. Yugi, a tenth grader who loved games, was currently playing a game known as Duel Monsters with his best friend Joey. And Joey was losing badly but then he was just learning how to play so that really wasn't that big of a surprise.
Joey studied his cards with a frown, thinking long and hard about what card to play.
"Aww, you look cute when you're thinking," Tristan said.
"Dude, I ain't your type," Joey said flatly.
"But I…I didn't…What?" Tristan looked confused and then shook his head. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, what are you playing?"
"Duel Monsters," Joey said.
"Duel what?"
"Duel…Monsters," Joey said slowly as if talking to a four-year-old.
"Dude, I'm not a four-year-old," Tristan said flatly. "And what the heck are drooling monsters?"
"Duel Monsters!" Joey exclaimed in frustration, shoving Tristan away. He tumbled into a desk and then onto the floor and little stars started dancing around his head.
"Ohh, pretty stars. One. Two. Three," Tristan said, pointing at the stars.
Ryou sweatdropped and shook his head.
Tea peered down at Tristan. "Well, if you're wondering, they've been at this for hours, though it makes me wonder why our teacher hasn't said anything," she said.
Everyone glanced toward where the teacher was seated behind her desk, yelling into her phone.
"No, I will not pack up and leave! It's my own house, damn it! I'm the one who's been paying the bills while you've just been sleeping on the couch like some lazy deadbeat! You don't even have a damn job! Why the hell should you get the house when you would lose it within weeks? And don't give me that 'we paid it off' bullcrap, I still have five years on my damn mortgage because the money I was going to use to pay it off, you lost betting on that damn championship duel since you were too stupid to see that Kaiba was so going to kick that sorry guy's ass!" The teacher was yelling.
The gang sweatdropped and returned their attention to their game. "Um, yeah, anyway, so Joey's starting to get the hang of it but Yugi's an expert," Tea said proudly.
Yugi blushed.
Tristan sat up, rubbing his head. "I lost count of the number of stars I was seeing," he said. "Um, what were you saying, Tea?"
Tea glared, picked up a textbook, and smacked Tristan upside the head with it.
"Ow!"
"All right, I play Kagemusha of the Blue Flame," Joey said, slapping the card onto the duel seat.
"So, you see, Tristan, and pay attention this time 'cause I ain't gonna repeat it, each monster has an attack number and a defense number and the first to eliminate their opponent's Life Points wins," Tea said.
"Oh, I get it," Tristan said brightly.
Yugi played Blackland Fire Dragon and Joey lost as a result.
"Tough break, Joey," Ryou said.
"Who the heck are you?" Joey said.
Ryou smacked Joey upside the head with a scowl. "Moron," he huffed and folded his arms across his chest.
Joey rubbed his head. "Right. Of course I know who you are, Bakura," he said quickly.
Ryou's eyes softened. "Sorry. I just…don't like it when people forget that I even exist," he said. And this narrator is pretty sure everyone knows who Ryou's referring too.
Dude, you ain't supposed to include your own commentary while you're narrating. You did enough of that in the prologue.
Oh, leave me alone. At least I'm getting the job done.
Anyway, Yugi gathered his cards together. "Don't worry about losing, Joey. You actually played all right. I just had the better cards 'cause my grandpa owns a game shop and that's where I get all my cards."
"Awesome sauce! Then we like have to go there like after the like school day!" Joey shouted.
"Dude, are you talking like a valley girl? And did you just saw awesome sauce?" Tristan asked dumbfounded.
"No!" Joey shouted, blushing in embarrassment.
"Well, my grandpa has a super rare card that I'm sure he'd be willing to show it to you," Yugi said.
Meanwhile, at a table nearby, Seto Kaiba looked up from the book he was reading at the mention of a super rare card and frowned. "A rare card? I wonder if it's the one I've been searching for," he mused. He paused and then added, "Though, in all likelihood, it probably isn't. Eh, might as well go and check it out. Mokuba has been complaining that I don't get out enough anyway."
"Um, you should really get some help since your, um, you know, talking to yourself like that," an unnamed kid said nearby.
Kaiba gave the kid his best glare.
The kid squeaked, got to his feet, and bolted out of the classroom so fast that he left a dust trail in his wake.
The teacher, who was still shouting into her phone, didn't notice.
Yugi and the gang did.
"What's with him?" Yugi wondered.
"No idea," Ryou said.
. . .
"Hi Grandpa!" Yugi shouted excitedly as he, Joey, Tristan, and Tea arrived at his grandfather's game shop.
"Wait, where'd Bakura go?" Joey wondered.
"He said he had to go. He either had to go grocery shopping, plot world domination, plot to kill some spirit, or go rob a bank. I dunno. I wasn't really paying attention," Tristan said with a shrug.
"Hey, Grandpa, can you show us your rare card?" Yugi asked.
Solomon Mutou thought about and then shrugged. "Eh, why not?" he said and pulled out a decorative box. "You're in for a treat since I usually don't take this card out."
"'Cause it's that valuable?" Tea asked.
"No, 'cause I can never find the stupid key to the stupid box," Solomon muttered, searching through the desk for the key to unlock the decorative box.
"It doesn't look like it needs a key," Tea said with a frown, watching as Solomon continued to look around for the key even though it looked as though the box didn't need one.
"Maybe we should open it ourselves," Tristan suggested and reached for the box, only to withdraw it quickly when Solomon smacked it.
"No touchy," he said firmly and went back to searching for the key.
Yugi sweatdropped. "Um, Grandpa, I don't think this box needs a key," he said.
Solomon looked up at Yugi who gestured toward the box and he looked at the box, picking it up and studying it. "Oh, you're right, it doesn't need a key. My bad," he said.
Everyone facefaulted.
"Anyway, yeah, so here it is, my rare card," Solomon said, fishing the card out and holding out to reveal the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
"Ohhh!" Everyone, except Tristan, said in awe.
"This card is so rare that I will never let it leave my hand," Solomon said.
Tristan snatched it out of Solomon's hand and studied it. "Doesn't look so special to…OW!" Tristan yelped, clutching at his hand that Solomon had just smacked with a wooden spoon.
Where did he get that? Yugi wondered silently.
"No. Touchy!" Solomon scolded, snatching the card back. "This card is priceless. There are only four of them in the world!"
Tristan held his throbbing hand. "It hurts," he whined.
Tea rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't be a big baby," she huffed.
"Well, yeah, your card is nice and all but I wanna trade for some other cards! So what do ya have in stock, Gramps?" Joey asked.
"Here, I'll show you," said Grandpa, putting the card back in the box.
Just then, the bell dinged followed by a curse and Seto Kaiba tumbled into the game shop to land face first on the ground, briefcase landing beside him.
"Bwahahahahaha," Joey laughed. He laughed so hard that he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach as he laughed.
"Are you okay, Kaiba?" Yugi asked.
"I'm fine," Kaiba growled, getting to his feet and dusting himself off before glaring at the door. Yugi followed his glare and raised an eyebrow when he spotted a toy truck resting in front of the door.
"Um, why's there a toy truck there?" he asked.
Solomon glanced at the truck. "Oh, I remember. A kid came in to buy some cards and had a younger brother who had a toy truck just like that. He must have dropped it when they left," he said.
Yugi walked over to the truck and picked it up while Solomon turned his gaze to Kaiba. "So, can I help you?" he asked.
"If you can't, that wouldn't surprise me," Kaiba huffed.
"Asshole," Solomon muttered under his breath.
"What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have that big company to run?" Tea asked.
"I own that place. That means I can do whatever the hell I want," Kaiba said firmly. "I'm here to see that rare card."
"You play drool monsters too?" Tristan asked.
"Duel. Monsters!" Joey said through gritted teeth and then turned to Kaiba. "Hey, maybe we can duel together."
Kaiba scoffed. "Yeah, right. I'm the number one duelist in the country and the favorite to win the Duel Monsters World Championship."
"And your point is…"
"My point is I'd get a better challenge dueling a monkey, or a dog," Kaiba said.
"Did you just call me a monkey? Or a dog?!" Joey shouted.
"No, no he didn't," Tea said.
"Why don't we settle this with fists instead of cards?" Joey growled.
"Calm down, Joey," Yugi said quickly, putting himself between Joey who looked like he was about ready to take the wooden spoon Solomon still had in his hand and shove it down Kaiba's throat.
Kaiba then spotted the Blue-Eyes White Dragon and his eyes widened. "Out of my way, midget!" He shoved Yugi out of the way and ran toward the counter to look at the card.
Yugi crashed into Tristan who crashed into Tea who fell into Joey. "Ow," Yugi groaned.
"Yugi, your elbow's in my kidney," Tristan groaned.
"Tristan, get your hand off my leg," Tea growled.
"Tea, your head's in my stomach," Joey groaned.
"Morons," Kaiba huffed as the four friends struggled to untangle themselves.
Solomon grabbed the card and moved it away. "Is there anything I can help you with that has nothing to do with my Blue-Eyes 'cause I ain't giving it up?" he said firmly.
Kaiba suddenly slammed his briefcase onto the counter and opened it to show it full of Duel Monster cards. Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Tristan, who finally managed to untangle themselves, looked at the cards.
"Daaaaaaaaaaamn," Tristan whistled.
"I'll trade all of these for that card," Kaiba said.
"Didn't ya hear me? I said I ain't giving it up, young whippersnapper," Solomon said firmly.
"I'll buy it! Name your price. I can pay anything that you ask," Kaiba exclaimed.
"Nope. I ain't doing it. I ain't giving up this card," Solomon said firmly. "It was given to me by a dear friend and I treasure it!"
"It's a card," Tristan deadpanned. "Ow!" He winced as Joey, Yugi, and Tea elbowed him in the stomach.
Kaiba stalked off. "This ain't over…I mean this is not over!" he shouted, glancing over his shoulder and then walking right into the door. "Ow!"
"Bwahahahaha!" Joey laughed.
"Shut up, Wheeler!"
. . .
Rubbing his nose, Kaiba grumbled to himself as the limousine he was in drove toward KaibaCorp Headquarters. "Damn it. I will get that card. I always get what I want!" he shouted angrily, slamming his fist into the window. "Ow!"
"Idiot," the driver muttered.
"Driver, you're fired!"
"But I'm in the middle of driving you to your work."
"Fine, when we get back to KaibaCorp, you're fired!"
"Yes, sir…"
. . .
Later that day, Yugi returned to the game shop with his friends only to find that his grandpa isn't there. "Oh, not again," he groaned. "I hope he didn't go to that club again. I had to drag him home the last time while he was drunkenly singing showtunes off key the entire way."
"That's a mental picture I did not want to have," Tea said with a grimace.
The phone rang at that moment.
Dun dun dun duh dun dun duh dun dun.
"Tristan, stop playing the Imperial March every time the phone rings," Tea exclaimed.
Tristan pouted but shut off the recorded tone on his phone.
"Hello," Yugi said into the phone.
"Yugi, you should come to KaibaCorp Headquarters. Your grandfather isn't feeling well and needs to be picked up," Kaiba's voice said.
"Why the heck is he there? And why didn't you just bring him home yourself?"
"I fired my driver. Do you know how long it takes to find another one that isn't a complete and total moron?" Kaiba said dryly. "Just come and get him."
. . .
The four friends reached KaibaCorp Headquarters were they found Solomon lying on the ground in the middle of the lobby.
"Grandpa!" Yugi shouted and rushed to Solomon's side, only to slip on the wet floor. "Whoa!" He slid and crashed into a pile of pillows, getting buried under them. "Well, glad these pillows were here…why the heck are there pillows here?"
"Yugi, you okay?" Tea called.
Yugi poked his head out of the pile of pillows and gave Tea a thumbs up before he climbed out of them. "Someone really should put a Wet Floor sign or something," he huffed as he made his way carefully over to his grandfather "Are you okay, Grandpa?"
"Well, I came here to teach Kaiba a lesson but I lost and then I slipped on the wet floor when I was leaving…oh, the pain," Solomon groaned.
Kaiba appeared in the room at that moment and opened his mouth to speak, only to pause when he spotted the pillows and sighed. "Damn it, Mokuba. How many times have I told that kid? No pillow forts in the lobby of this building," he muttered. "You know what. I'll get someone to deal with it later. Yugi, I defeated your grandfather in a duel, with each of us putting our most valuable card as the prize. I guess playing against a champion like me was too much stimulation for him."
"I slipped on the wet floor because you didn't bother on putting up a wet floor sign, jackass!" Solomon shouted.
"Details, details," Kaiba said dismissively and then held up the card and proceeded to tear it in two.
"No!" Solomon wailed miserably.
"That was Grandpa's most treasured card," Yugi cried.
"Since a Deck can only hold three copies of each card, the fourth could become an enemy," Kaiba said blandly, tossing the pieces at Yugi.
Solomon suddenly held out his deck. "I put my soul into these cards and taught you everything I know. Take them and teach Kaiba some respect! Oh and beware wet floors since Kaiba apparently doesn't believe in wet floor signs," he said.
"Oh, I do believe in them. I'm just too rich to bother putting them up myself," Kaiba said with a shrug.
Ignoring Kaiba, Yugi protested, "But I gotta get you to the doctor."
"Excuses, excuses," Kaiba commented.
"Who asked you?" Yugi snapped.
"Look, we'll take him to the hospital, Yugi. You got beat the pants of that no-good, spoiled-rotten, scruffy-looking, dragon-obsessed nerfherder!" Joey declared.
"You watched Star Wars recently, haven't you?" Tea asked.
"…Last night," Joey admitted.
"I am not obsessed with dragons!" Kaiba exclaimed. He paused and added, "Or scruffy-looking for that matter."
"I don't know…" Yugi began.
"Oh just do it, Yugi," Tristan said.
"Yeah, if anyone can defeat that nerfherder, it's you," Joey stated.
"Hey, everyone, put your hands together," Tea said, pulling out a marker and, when everyone put their hands together, she proceeded to draw a smiley face on their hands. "See, even though that ink will wash away, we'll always remember the circle of our friendship."
Yugi looked at it. "Will it wash away?" he wondered.
"Of course it will." Tea glanced at the marker, making sure it wasn't a permanent marker, and was relieved to see that it wasn't. "Yeah, of course it will."
Tristan and Tea ended up taking Solomon to the hospital while Joey remained behind to support Yugi.
. . .
Kaiba led Yugi to a virtual stadium, explaining how he had designed the stadium himself, though Yugi wasn't really listening.
"…and I think you'll…are you even listening to me?!" Kaiba growled.
"Hmm, oh, sorry, I was just too busy admiring this stadium. It look sooo sweet! Whoops, wrong series, I mean it's cool," Yugi said giddily.
Kaiba sweatdropped and shook his head. "Okay, we'll play using my own Special Rules," he said as he took a position on the blue side of the stadium while Yugi stood up on the red side. The Millennium Puzzle around his neck glowed and then Yugi grew taller and his hair spiked more.
"All right, Kaiba, it's time to duel!" Yami Yugi declared.
"Did you just have a growth spurt in three seconds?" Kaiba said bewildered.
"What are you talking about?" Yami Yugi said.
"Nothing, never mind. Let's just get going," Kaiba said and the two of them began to duel.
Kaiba started out by summoning Hitotsu-Me Giant and a hologram appeared on the field.
"Cool! It's so lifelike!" Yami Yugi exclaimed giddily.
Kaiba sweatdropped but didn't respond as Yami Yugi brought out Winged Dragon, Guardian of the Fortress.
"Oh. My. God! There are real monsters on the field! That ain't good for the world," Joey exclaimed when he joined them.
"They're holograms, moron!" Kaiba said and then scowled when Yami Yugi proceeded to destroy Hitotsu-Me Giant.
Mokuba Kaiba, Kaiba's little brother, suddenly rushed into the room. "Seto, are you okay?" he called.
"I'm fine, kid. By the way, you need to stop building pillow forts in the lobby," Kaiba said.
"But it's fun."
"Mokuba…"
"Fine."
"Well played, for a beginner," Kaiba added to Yami Yugi.
"Nice job, Yugi! You just blasted that monster off the face of this planet, er duel field," Joey cheered.
Kaiba summoned Saggi the Dark Clown next.
"That's one weak monster. Why the heck did he summon that monster?" Yami Yugi muttered.
Then Kaiba used the Spell Negative Energy Generator, tripling Saggi's attack.
"Oh, that's why," Yami Yugi said with a grimace right before his Winged Dragon was destroyed. "You're pretty good, I suppose. You know every aspect of this game."
"Yeah, yeah, just get on with your turn," Kaiba said flatly.
"Asshole." Yami Yugi drew Right Leg of the Forbidden one, frowned at the supposed uselessness of the card and set a card in facedown Defense Position.
Kaiba uses Saggi to destroy that facedown during his turn and then proceeds to destroy more of Yami Yugi's monsters.
"Hang in there, Yugi," Joey shouted. "You've got to win and beat rich boy's ass."
"What does it look like I'm trying to do?!" Yami Yugi retorted.
"Do or do not, there is no try," Joey said firmly.
Yami Yugi rolled his eyes skyward.
"Oh my God! I love those movies!" Mokuba cried. "Yoda is like so awesome!"
"I know, right?" Joey exclaimed. "And so is Obi-Wan and Vader! Vader kicks ass!"
"Heck yeah he does," Mokuba said with a grin.
Kaiba facepalmed as Joey and Mokuba happily began talking Star Wars and then looked at Yami Yugi. "You're not doing better than your grandfather did. Your deck is just as weak and feeble as him," he said.
"My grandpa's deck ain't weak. None of his cards are weak, well, maybe Kuriboh but since he's got an awesome effect, it doesn't matter that he's weak," Yami Yugi said with a shrug. He summoned Gaia the Fierce Knight and uses it to destroy Saggi the Dark Clown.
"And when Vader fought Luke in Cloud City. I mean it was so awesome! I was like whaaaa when Vader revealed that he was Luke's father," Mokuba exclaimed.
"I know, right? That was like the most awesome plot twist ever!" Joey exclaimed happily.
"No, Luke finding out Leia was his twin sister was the most awesome plot twist ever," Mokuba said.
"Can't argue that, though I can't believe Luke kissed his own sister," Joey said with a grimace.
"I know, right?" Mokuba exclaimed.
Kaiba shook his head and drew a card before he laughed. "This duel will be over sooner than you think. I summon Blue-Eyes White Dragon!" he shouted and the white dragon with the blue eyes appeared on the field.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Joey exclaimed when he spotted the Blue-Eyes. "You ripped that card in two!"
"Yugi's grandfather wasn't the only one who possessed a Blue-Eyes," Kaiba said and had his Blue-Eyes destroy Gaia the Fierce Knight.
"Faith is for losers. You're gonna fall before my superior monsters, Yugi," Kaiba declared.
Yami Yugi scowled and watched as Blue-Eyes destroyed more and more of his monsters.
"Do you remember that final battle scene between Luke and Vader?" Mokuba asked.
Joey glanced at Mokuba. "Yup, I definitely remember it. It was so cool and Vader actually throwing old wrinkly face into that shaft thingamajig to save Luke. That was awesome."
"I know, right?"
"Will you two stop talking about Star Wars already?!" Kaiba bellowed irritably.
Mokuba and Joey blinked at Kaiba.
"Gees, take a chill pill, Kaiba," Joey said.
"Yeah, Seto. Calm down," Mokuba said.
Kaiba's eye twitched and returned his attention back to Yami Yugi. "If you can't stand up to one Blue-Eyes, what hope do you have against two?" He proceeded to summon a second Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
"You have two of those dragons? Joey's right, you are dragon-obsessed," Yami Yugi mused.
"I'm not dragon-obsessed! And this doesn't prove anything!" Kaiba said irritably.
. . .
Solomon was being rushed through the hospital. The paramedics guiding him turned down a hallway.
Tea and Tristan were following.
Tristan yelped as he tripped over a wet-floor sign that the paramedics saw and avoided and Tea, with a yelp, crashed into him and the two went skidding across the hallway's wet floor to crash into a vending machine.
"Ow!"
"Stupid wet floor sign," Tristan muttered.
"I officially hate hospitals…and wet floor signs," Tea muttered.
. . .
"Swords of Revealing Light," Yami Yugi declared back at the stadium and a bunch of glowing swords appeared on the field.
"You're desperate. What good will a three-turn delay do you?" Kaiba sneered.
He might be right, Yami Yugi thought, looking at his hand. What the hell am I supposed to do with these? They're just pieces! Wait...
While Yami Yugi was flashbacking about talking with Solomon about how cards can be like a puzzle, Kaiba was getting irritated again. Why?
"And Force lightning is so cool!" Mokuba said.
"I agree. I would love to have a lightsaber too. Those things are badass!" Joey exclaimed.
"I know, right?"
"Shut up about frelling Star Wars already!" Kaiba shouted angrily.
Joey and Mokuba looked at each other and then at Kaiba and then at each other.
"Did Kaiba just say…frelling?" Joey asked.
"He watches Farcape when he isn't dueling or running his company," Mokuba said with a shrug.
"Ohhh!"
Kaiba huffed and turned to glare at Yami Yugi. "If you keep stalling, I'm going to take that as a forfeit," he snapped.
Yami Yugi drew a card and ended his turn without a move.
"You can draw whatever card you want, it won't change a thing. Just 'cause two of my dragons are frozen doesn't mean nothing but first, I summon Judge Man." Judge Man proceeded to destroy Yami Yugi's facedown Rude Kaiser.
Yami Yugi then summoned Dark Magician and uses it to destroy Judge Man.
"Woohoo! Yugi's best monster!" Joey cheered.
"Doesn't stand a chance against Blue-Eyes," Mokuba said smugly. "Seto's got this duel won."
"Nuh uh. Yug's still in this," Joey declared.
"No, he's beat."
"No, he isn't."
"Yes, he is."
"No, he isn't!"
"Yes, he is!"
"You two are acting like four-year-olds," Kaiba muttered.
"Are not," Joey and Mokuba shouted, sticking their tongues out at Kaiba who facepalmed, dragging his hand down his face and then summoned his third Blue-Eyes White Dragon and had it destroy Yami Yugi's Dark Magician.
"There's nothing you can do," Kaiba said and laughed maniacally.
"He sounds like he's lost it," Joey deadpanned.
Mokuba wouldn't admit it out loud but he thought the same thing.
Yami Yugi was in doubt though but he forced himself to concentrate and not lose faith
"Draw your last pathetic card!" Kaiba shouted.
"My grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards! But it does have this!" Yami Yugi revealed the card he just drew. "The Unstoppable Exodia!"
"No! It's impossible!" Kaiba cried as Yami Yugi placed all five pieces on the field and a large star appeared before Exodia emerged from the star and Kaiba stepped back.
"No! No one has managed to call out Exodia before!" Kaiba cried.
"Exodia! Obliterate!" Yami Yugi shouted and there was a flash of bright light as Exodia attacked all of Kaiba's dragons.
"Hell yeah! Nice job, Yugi!" Joey shouted.
"But…But Seto…Seto never losses!" Mokuba cried.
"He just got his ass kicked like Emperor Palpatine by Darth Vader!" Joey shouted.
"You idiot, Vader just tossed Palpatine down a shaft!" Mokuba exclaimed.
"Kaiba, you play only for power and that's why you lost. But if you put your heart in the game, there's nothing you can't do. Or whatever. Is that what I was supposed to say? Oh whatever," Yami Yugi said.
"How could I have lost?" Kaiba murmured.
The Eye of Anubis appeared on Yami Yugi's forehead. "I will crush the evil in your heart," he shouted and held out a hand. "Mind Crush!"
Kaiba cried out and fell to his knees before falling unconscious.
"Seto!" Mokuba cried, running to his brother's side.
Joey blinked, wondering what happened but decided he didn't care. "Way to go, Yugi!" he cheered.
. . .
At the hospital, Solomon woke up. "I knew you could win, Yugi," he murmured and then frowned. "I thought there were others with me."
"Oh, you mean Tristan Taylor and Tea Gardner?" the nurse asked.
"Yeah."
"They're being seen by a doctor. They really should learn to not run on a wet floor," the doctor said with a shake of her head.
Solomon sighed.
. . .
Somewhere, who knew where, Maximillion Pegasus looked up as Croquet walked into the room.
"Sir, Seto Kaiba has been defeated by someone named Yugi Mutou," Croquet said.
Pegasus smiles, the Millennium Eye flashing.
"Ow! Do you not realize how bright that thing is when it flashes? And it's still creepy as hell. Why do you have it in your eye socket for crying out loud?" Croquet complained.
"Because…none of your business," Pegasus said.
. . .
A/n what do you think?
Yami: (reading from a piece of paper) "well, that was the first chapter of a series of misadventures. This is going to be a long story, though some episodes will probably end up being condensed into one or two chapters, such as the duel chapters that are more than two episodes long."
Bakura: (snatches paper from Yami) "And, once again, there is OOCness. All characters are going to be OOC" except yours truly
Yami: the paper does not say that (snatches paper back from Bakura) "but I already did warn you about that at the beginning of this story"
Marik: (snatches paper from Yami) "Once again, this story is not mean to be taken seriously. It's meant to be funny and there will likely be allusions to LittleKuriboh's Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series because some of those lines are just too good to not use. Disclaimers will be posted if I ever use a line that comes from the Abridged Series."
Bakura: (snatches paper back from Marik) "Also, once again, there are no pairings. This is a genfic that revolves mostly around parodying the series (though there may be allusions to certain pairings like Peachshipping and Polarshipping). I love the series and I am only doing this because it's fun. "
Yami: (snatches back from Bakura) "So I hope that you enjoy this parody and I hope that it's funny since I tried to make it funny without making it completely random. Reviews, as always, are much appreciated."
Bakura: why must you always get the final word, Pharaoh?!
Yami: because I'm awesome like that
Bakura: (glares)
Yami: so, yeah, Blaze couldn't be here today but that was her words so see you in the next chapter.