Disclaimer: I, Darker Charon, am writing a fan fiction based on K-ON. K-ON's characters, setting, general plot were created by kakifly. The anime of K-ON is owned by TBS/Pony Canyon in association with Kyoto Animation and the first season was licensed by Bandai Entertainment for North American audiences. I claim nothing and I mean no disrespect to the creators when I invent my own characters to bring their setting more to life.
Author Notes: I'm using the manga timeline as a basis here, so this starts in November 2007. Kawa Sasaki is an Original Character that I will be using as a foil to the protagonist Mio Akiyama. The anime also figures in when it doesn't conflict with the manga. Please let me know in a review what you think of my characterization and such. I don't mind constructive criticism at all.
Sinistra Bassa
By
Darker Charon
"I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations-one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it-you will regret both."
Soren Kirkegaard, Either/Or vol. 2
Chapter 1: Futura noli timere…
There was a crispness in the air that wasn't there last week, Mio Akiyama noticed. The tall, black-haired, grey-eyed girl was walking with her oldest friend Ritsu Tainaka as they usually did every morning on their way to Sakuragaoka High School. She was carrying her bass guitar case over her right shoulder and her school bag was carried by her left hand, and she felt unusually weary that morning. Perhaps it was simply fatigue from studying for herself and helping carry Ritsu so she didn't fail and occasionally she had to help carry Yui's grades as well so the Light Music Club had four eligible members. Perhaps it was the entirely unwanted attention and fame that had come from their performance at the school Cultural Festival just two weeks prior. Mio didn't understand why she would have such a robust fan club at an all girls school. She hadn't accomplished anything worthy of anyone's attention. She was just a first year student, who had wanted to join the Literary Club but was drafted into joining the Light Music Club because Ritsu had wanted it that way. True, Mio did love the bass but she also loved writing. The closest she got to writing anything were those embarrassing lyrics for "Fuwa Fuwa Time" and that took her an hour to write and work out the melody for once she had remembered what Mugi had said earlier that day. She knew that she was a fraud as a songwriter, but no one called her out on it and that just made her feel worse about it.
Of course, her honey-haired friend Ritsu was the club President and the drummer. Ritsu usually played her drums a little faster than she should, and Mio would have to try to keep up with her tempo and keep things in the pocket for Yui and Mugi. She doubted that any other bassist would want to play with such a wild drummer as she. As it was, Mio knew that the Light Music Club's rhythm section, which was herself and Ritsu were the weakest part of the band from a technical standpoint. Of course, their actual lead singer, front person and guitarist Yui Hirasawa was still learning how to master her instrument. But her playing certainly improved through the efforts of their advisor, Sawako Yamanaka, and Yui's singing was quite good despite her relative inexperience. Mio suspected that Yui was born with absolute pitch, but since she had never seen Yui tune her guitar, she wasn't sure of that fact.
Mio wondered if there was anyone she could talk to regarding her increasing feeling that she wasn't cut to play in a band that would be seen by the general public. Ritsu was out for obvious reasons, and she didn't know if Yui could comprehend her feelings. She then thought about talking to Tsumugi "Mugi" Kotobuki, the keyboardist for the band, and all-around morale booster. Mugi certainly wanted to help any of the Light Music Club with a problem, the way Mugi had helped Yui acquire her Les Paul was one example. If Yui was the face of the band, and Ritsu and her the soul of the band, then Mugi was either the glue that held them all together or the heart of the band. The only thing was that Mio did not want to trouble her blonde and blue-eyed friend too much as Mugi already did a lot for the band including supplying the tea and the cakes that seemed to be the reason that Yui enjoyed the club so much. It wasn't as if Mio didn't enjoy the occasional sweet either, she just didn't have the kind of metabolism that was conducive to eating a lot of sweets. Although seeing Yui's enjoyment of them was basically a treat in itself too.
She would put going towards any sort of decision until after school though. When Ritsu and her had gotten to the main gate of Sakuragaoka High School, Ritsu asked her "Is it me or has it gotten colder this week?"
Mio nodded "I have noticed it too. In another six weeks, we'll probably start noticing those Siberian airmasses that seem to visit us every winter. I imagine that will likely effect Yui more than any of us though. We already know she's sensitive to air conditioning and all and she generally doesn't seem to take well to temperature extremes."
Ritsu simply said "Given how often we actually practice, it won't likely be a problem. And Mugi's tea and cakes and cookies can fix all sorts of ailments."
At least Ritsu had a somewhat sanguine outlook on the future of the Light Music Club, Mio thought. Soon it would be first bell, and most of those thoughts would be on the backburner until after school. At some point, she could get a chance to get some private time with Mugi to discuss what had been nagging her.
It had been a typical day for the Light Music Club, as Yui and Ritsu helped themselves to Mugi's delicious cakes, and everyone enjoyed her sublime tea. Mio spent a lot of the time reading, in this case reading a translated version of Jane Austen's Emma. There was a certain magic about reading about Regency England, and she could certainly understand all the little minutia about protocol, and she enjoyed some romance books. She had even read Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre, although there were parts that were really too intense for her. There were also, of course, more modern novels that attracted her interest. Some of those were popular light novels like Maria-sama ga Miteru. She didn't know if Ritsu knew exactly what she read.
When everyone was ready to go home, Mio approached Mugi, and quietly asked her "Do you have some free time, right now. There's something I want to work out with you."
Mugi smiled and said "I don't have anything scheduled, so sure, we can go over one of your songs if you want."
Ritsu then said to the both of them "Just don't overdo it, you two." She then said to Mio "I'll be sure to call you later. And I'll let you know if I am stumped on any of my homework." Then Ritsu and Yui said their good byes, and Sawako had already left.
When Mio was sure that Ritsu was long out of earshot, she said to Mugi. "Actually, it's not one of my songs that I need your help on. Ever since the festival, I just haven't had anything come to me as far as lyrics."
Mugi said reassuringly "I'm sure when you need it, you'll be able to write new lyrics. Just writing whatever comes in your mind helps me when I get stuck on essays. Unless there's more to this than just writer's block."
Mio sighed. "You can be awfully perceptive, Mugi-chan. Truth is, I embarrassed us up there on the stage, and I am not sure if I have any business playing to a crowd that expects us to provide them with some good music. I almost didn't sing as it was. I know Yui and the rest of you worked so hard and that's why I filled in as lead vocalist. But I don't want to hold this band back when I feel so nervous performing for people, and you deserve a bass player who doesn't wonder if she was just better off reading books in a corner."
Mugi put her hands on Mio's shoulders and said "You're being too hard on yourself, and you should value what you contribute more. You are a talented bassist, and you balance out the wildness of Ritsu. I know that I couldn't replicate the groove that you bring to this band, even if my Korg Triton can produce some bass notes. Mio-chan, there is no band without you. You try the hardest out of all of us, and you provide us with some grounding when we need it. Each of us, we all have our irreplaceable contributions, and together, we are a four. We are like the four strings on your bass, take away one and it just won't work."
Mio couldn't say anything else for a long moment after what Mugi had just said. Mugi was right in that as friends, they were like the strings on her bass. However, how much of her heart was really in the Light Music Club. Ritsu had to practically drag her to join. "I wish I had your faith in me." Mio said, but before Mugi could respond, she continued. "I didn't set out to join the Light Music Club, it was something that had just happened. I was originally going to join the Literary Club, but then Ritsu tore the application form that I had carefully filled out in half when I had shown it to her. I could have just gotten a replacement for the form, but then she practically dragged me to see if there were any other members, and when Sawako had told us that the club was likely going to be disbanded due to no members, Ritsu just assumed the role of Club President and I was going to just leave after a long afternoon of waiting until…."
Mugi's eyes had a moment of realization "Until I walked through that door, and thought you were the Choir Club. After I agreed to join the club, you felt it would betray Ritsu if you had pursued what you had originally wanted." She had a rather pensive look on her face as she waited for the right words to come to her. "And so your real problem appears to be that you never got the chance to freely decide to join the Light Music Club, and due to events that were beyond your control, you were never able to make peace with not joining the Literary Club. That combined with you being thrust into the role of lead vocalist in the school festival, it made you feel like you never were in control of things that ordinarily would have been choices that would have affirmed your place in the band, and given you confidence in yourself."
Mio nodded. "You are amazing. You were able to see what I was trying to say."
Mugi continued "You're a smart girl, you probably know what Kirkegaard had said about regrets and choices. If you feel you need a few days to clear your head, or perhaps even talk to a Literary Club member, you have my permission to do so. There is something that you shouldn't forget though. You wrote lyrics that touched many of your fellow students, and you are one of the most popular girls in this school for a good reason, and it's not because of that unfortunate accident that happened on the stage. It also is not too late for you to be able to make that choice for yourself whether or not the Light Music Club gets the full amount of your talents. I'd like to think we are blessed to have a hardworking bassist who is humble, and who has the potential to be a great writer. You're wrong in one regard, Mio. You would never hold us back, but I sometimes hope that we are not holding you back from your own potential. I have always enjoyed working out melodies with you, and I will hope that we will continue to be able to collaborate on songs. I enjoy it, and I am saying this as a friend as well as a bandmate." Then Mugi gave Mio a very strong hug.
Mio relished that hug from her fellow bandmate. She certainly was right in how the four of them were like the strings of her bass. She felt a deep connection to each of the Light Music Club's members, and it wasn't something she wanted to give up. But she also needed to know for sure that this was the right path for her once and for all. If they had any shot at improving themselves, she couldn't be halfhearted about it. And she had felt that way ever since the festival. "Yeah, I think I may need a tiny break. Please don't tell the others about this conversation. I don't want Ritsu or Yui to be unnecessarily hurt if I end up finding out that being in the Light Music Club was the right decision for me after all. I mean, Ritsu….we've been friends for a long time, and she has done a lot for me."
Mugi nodded. "I won't say a word. If you need to say anything to Ritsu, it's better coming from you anyway. And I'm surprised that you didn't want to quit sooner. I mean, it must be common for people to want to quit when things get hard, and I know that I would have felt very embarrassed if that had happened to me. So just take it easy if you need to. But don't run away from your problems. That won't help you in the long run."
Mio paused for a moment. Was she trying to run away because of her embarrassment? Could she really live with herself if she tried to quit the band? These were hard questions and she needed answers. But she couldn't answer those for sure at that moment. "I know, Mugi-chan. But if my heart isn't in it…"
Mugi just let the moment pass, and didn't say a word. Mio didn't feel much like saying anything else. "I guess I should go on home, and call Ritsu about her homework." The two parted and Mugi was the last one left in the Music Room. Mugi felt that Mio was probably hurting over the worst moment of high school for her, and it's given her something close to the "yips". Trying to force her back into the saddle would have been a disastrous move in the long run because the doubts would have returned stronger and there would have been many hurt feelings. No, Mio had to find the answers for herself, and Mugi would try to help in what Mio would ask of her but wouldn't interfere. For Mugi knew that playing the bass was in Mio's heart. She wouldn't have thrown herself into working to help Yui buy a guitar or tried so hard to train the band during the summer break, and she ultimately did fill in as lead vocalist even though it caused her so much distress by just being out there on stage and with the spotlight right on her. Mio just had to discover that she did chose to be in the Light Music Club by her actions, and this would make her stronger. And maybe by then, Mugi thought to herself, she would be able to accept Mugi's love for her.