A/N: Wrote this a forever ago, it won a contest on deviantart, then, the fool I was; accidentally deleted my dragon age folder and all the art within. The contest was a what if scenario... so what would happen if Duncan didn't save the Dalish Warden?
I was lost amongst the darkness.
I couldn't escape; the depressing thick clouds of forever smothered me and held me down.
I couldn't even scream.
Tamlen was here somewhere? Right? He was lost too! I saw him before, screaming my name and reaching out over a gap that not even a Halla could leap, not even a dragon could fly over.
Except the one that sang. That one came for us all the time, singing a enthralling song and promising release if we followed it. It was so beautiful with gleaming midnight scales and pure white eyes with shining silver pupils.
It was dark in between the visits from the beautiful dragon. I missed it sorely, it was so dark here and everything hurt, but when the dragon came, I could see and feel and breathe.
Other people followed, there was a big crowd and they all struggled to reach the surface of the big cave where the beautiful one took us. It wasn't as dark anymore when we followed.
Tamlen told me what we were doing was bad, but the people we killed were Shemlen... the taint we spread was pure and cleansing.
No-one could tell us what to do, only the beautiful one, who sung us pretty songs and let us plunder the villages. Tamlen was wrong and the dragon was right. How could the beautiful dragon ever be wrong?
But Tamlen was good too, he was the one who touched the mirror, he was the one who led us the beautiful dragon. Tamlen was good at that, but he wasn't good at following orders. This made the beautiful dragon sad, it asked me to talk to my friend, to make him be nice to the dragon. So I did, of course I did, how could I ever say no to the dragon?
"No! We have to fight this! Whatever it is!" Tamlen cried, retreating further into his hole.
"But the beautiful dragon is nice Tamlen, it frees us from the limits of our previous self, it makes us stronger than we were before! We can win back our land!" I replied, grabbing him and shaking him.
He cried out in pain. "See how weak you are Tamlen! The beautiful dragon wants us to attack some people who are mean to it. We need to help him so he can help us! Then you can be stronger too! Just like me!" I yelled.
"Lethallan... look what you've done to yourself. Don't call me weak when you can't resist the urge of the one that sings." Tamlen gasped.
I stopped shaking, and took a moment to see myself... claws... I had claws... my hands were black... with claws... and my legs were hunched, they had claws too. I was like an animal, fierce and strong.
"I'm better Tamlen, you could be too! This is how the Dalish were meant to be!" I cried, trying to push the sudden nervousness down my throat. The song… gods, it was deafening.
"Lethallan! This is never how we were meant to be! You're more monster than elven!" Screamed Tamlen, he tried to shake me, but I was strong. Stupid elf, why won't he listen?
I picked him up by the scruff of his neck and he screamed in agony as my claws pierced his flesh. "Listen to the beautiful dragon Tamlen! Hear him sing! Tell me I was wrong then!" I growled, shaking him.
"Fine!" he screamed, struggling for breath. I dropped him and he fell to his knees.
I smiled a cruel, wicked smile. "Come on then Tamlen! Let's help the beautiful dragon!"
I had a good feeling about this mission! It was like the beautiful dragon was flying with us! I knew Tamlen would definitely be good after this!
I was strong, we were strong, but they were stronger. How come they were stronger? How could they beat me? The beautiful dragon said he would protect us, it told us that we would not die, that we would beat these shemlen… but they beat us, it's children, why would the beautiful dragon lie?
Tamlen didn't help, he stood to the side, only once did he lash out, and it was only when the half tainted one came over, it looked human, it looked like Tamlen and I did… before.
I tried to help, but I could only manage to drag myself over there, lashing out feebly with wicked claws. Tamlen screamed as he was cut down. He landed near me and I grabbed his hand, holding on desperately.
"I'm so sorry Lethallin." I whispered.
He nodded slowly. "You should be." He croaked. That hurt, a lot...
"But now we're truly free Lethallan, we can finally be together with all the creators..." he said after catching his breath, I noticed the emphasise on 'together' I noticed the small smile on his face as he squeezed my hand. And I saw myself in the reflection of his watery eyes. The person, no, the monster that Tamlen saw. And I hated it.
The half tainted one stood over us, sword bloody, he looked confused, until someone called him over, and with a final glance he ran off. I wished he would come back, it was lonely here, but I had Tamlen, Tamlen would help me get to the creators and Tamlen would help me become me again. We could be together.
"Together." I repeated out loud, both as a reply and a promise. I squeezed his hand gently, one final time.