Dizgirl:
I hope you like this lovely songfic about our favorite (well, the most prominent) DP love triangle! I had fun writing it and I think it turned out pretty well, but please tell me if I made mistakes (or even if you think it sucks. Constructive criticism, people. It's okay). It takes place right before "D-Stabilized" and I hope it gives you a different twist on the song (which is "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson and obviously not mine). Enjoy and love and see my profile for the disclaimer!
Beautiful Disaster
Sam sighed heavily as she closed her bedroom door for the night. Getting past her parents was usually a pain, but being late (again) had added a lecture to their nightly partings. The fact that she had been late with Danny, who they both vehemently disliked, had made it even worse. Not that she wasn't willing to argue with them if it meant she could help Danny with his ghostly patrol—nothing could keep her from that—but it was tiring.
She quickly changed into a comfy nightgown, her purple eyes clouding as her thoughts turned to her best friend. A smile found its way onto her face as she relived the day's events. School had been the normal annoyance but luckily two different ghost fights had brightened the monotone. The first had been the Lunch Lady, determined to force large quantities of meat loaf down everyone's throats in the name of good health. Danny quickly disposed of her without even coming late to class. The second had been the Box Ghost being his usual irritating self. It took less than a minute for him to join the Lunch Lady in the thermos. And though these events were fairly normal now, ghost fighting still made life at Casper High a lot more interesting.
Absentmindedly, Sam turned on her radio and changed it to an unfamiliar station, her mind set on a certain ghost boy instead of what song was playing at the moment. She sighed again, her forehead furrowed unhappily. Despite all the time she spent with him, Danny continued to be oblivious to her. Sure, there had been several moments when she was certain he was looking at her with a faint blush creeping up his cheeks, but her mind was probably playing tricks on her. He was clueless, right? He never seemed to notice her badly disguised attempts to hide her feelings or her determination to ignore his past relationships. He couldn't possibly see her differently now.
The icy air whistled around her as Valerie sped through the night. Lights from Amity Park sparkled below her, catching her attention briefly before she continued to scan the sky for ghost activity. The night had been calm so far without even the ghost boy to give her trouble. She scowled as her thoughts automatically focused on him and the tangle of emotions he brought to her mind every time she saw him. Even when he didn't show up during her patrols he somehow always seemed to be in her head! And it was never easy to think about him because her original hatred (an easy thing to harbor) had slowly dissolved as time carried on. She wasn't going to stop hunting him or any ghost that came around her home, but her grudge was hard to hold onto when he didn't add fuel to her fire.
That was the most frustrating part: he didn't seem evil and he often fled during their battles instead of trying to hurt her back. She could go through a whole fight with him and never once be hit. Sure he sent ecto-blasts flying all around her, but it was almost like he was purposely missing! Valerie growled to the starry sky, pushing her board to move faster as if it would out-fly her uncertainties. Hunching over her board, she dropped down until she was even with the fifth floor of the apartment buildings in her neighborhood. Hardly anyone was outside and those who were quickly moved towards their destinations, eyeing the streets around them warily. With ghost attacks every other night throughout the city it wasn't a surprise that Amity Park's citizens were a bit uneasy once the sun went down.
Valerie let her board slow down as she passed her apartment. A quick glance inside confirmed that her father was watching television, unaware of her absence. She sighed in relief before shooting past the window. It was getting harder and harder for her to sneak out at night—all thanks to the ghost boy blowing her secret! She smiled grimly; pleased to have some concrete evidence that showed how he had ruined her life. Of course if it came down to it she had plenty of examples that proved how evil and tricky he was…didn't she?
Silently she glided over an empty Wal-mart parking lot. Music played loudly through the crackling speakers and she could just hear the beginning notes of a familiar song. Valerie slowed down and listened as Kelly Clarkson began singing "Beautiful Disaster", slightly surprised by how the song struck her at that moment. She knew the words—she only heard Paulina play the song on her boom box about a hundred times—and as she remembered them she realized how well some of the lines worked for her current predicament with the ghost boy. With a slight shake of the head Valerie returned to the skies, but the song continued to play through her mind and quietly she whispered the words to herself as she flew.
Staring moodily out her window, Sam finally paid attention to the music playing from her radio. A high-pitched voice faded into the background and the DJ announced the next song on the agenda.
-Our next song is for all you troubled hearts out there who are just trying to figure out that mystery called love. It's "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson!-
Sam's eyes widened as she recognized the melody. Despite her fierce opposition of anything that was even mildly conforming, she had secretly liked this song. Of course, hearing Paulina rave about Kelly Clarkson's music had destroyed Sam's interest, but not before she had memorized most of the lyrics. As she remembered the words to "Beautiful Disaster", she smiled wryly. How ironic that this song would come on right when she was thinking about Danny. The lyrics worked almost perfectly with her thoughts and doubts.
"He drowns in his dreams, an exquisite extreme I know," Sam sang softly, pushing her window open to let the cool breeze into her room.
"He's as damned as he seems," Valerie whispered, agreeing full-heartedly in her head. He sure knew how to get himself and everyone around him in trouble no matter what he did. It had to be the fact that he was a ghost; all ghosts were just plain bad luck…and evil.
"And more heaven than a heart could hold," Sam continued with a sigh, remember the many times they had flown together. She propped her elbows on the windowsill and rested her chin in her hands.
"And if I tried to save him," Valerie wrinkled her nose, trying and failing to think of a time when she would do that. "My whole world would cave in." Yes, the only way she'd save him was if she thought he was...good. Her world would collapse if that was the case; how could she justify hunting him if he wasn't evil? Perplexed she sang the next line loudly, "It just ain't right!"
"It just ain't right," Sam closed her amethyst eyes tiredly. It wasn't right that she had to suffer like this because of his clueless-ness! But at the same time that clueless part of him made Danny very amusing and cute. "Oh and I don't know…"
"I don't know what he's after," Valerie sang, thinking of how many times it was difficult to know what the ghost boy was thinking. Most of times he acted like he was a hero and then he would pull off a stunt like with Mayor Montez.
"But he's so beautiful." Well, handsome anyways. Sam couldn't very well call her best friend beautiful, though when he flew at night…that could be considered beautiful. And him in a skin tight black jumpsuit? A tentative smile spread across her face. Well…
Valerie hovered above Casper High and opened her visor. The wind felt wonderful against her flushed skin as she wrestled with her thoughts. Exhaling noisily in frustration, she stated the next line of the song to the starry sky, "such a beautiful disaster."
"And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter," Sam murmured, thinking of the less amusing and more terrifying battles Danny had fought of late such as Freakshow with the Reality Gauntlet and Vortex. "Would it be beautiful?"
"Just a beautiful disaster," Valerie repeated, wondering if Phantom hadn't ruined her life with that ghost dog what would her life be like. She wouldn't be in this confusing position for one. She'd probably still be in the popular crowd. Would that be a good thing? Not really. Plus she had the chance to date Danny for a short time…even though that was cut off by her ghost-hunting. Wasn't that just another reason to hate the ghost boy?
The next verse started and Sam grinned. "He's magic and myth," she whispered. Before the ghost portal was opened most people didn't even believe in ghosts—excluding the Fentons of course. Some still obstinately believed they were mere fabrications of people desperate for attention, though that was much harder now with so many ghost attacks everyday. "As strong as what I believe," she continued. Oh yes, he could do anything if he tried. She was sure of that.
"A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see," Valerie reluctantly recalled a conversation she had had with Tucker when they briefly dated during the whole ghost dog incident. He had mentioned how ghosts only stayed behind from 'moving on' because they had unfinished business to do and/or a violent death that had scarred them into staying behind. At least that was one ghost expert theory. If it was true (she didn't really care for the most part) then what had happened to the ghost boy? He looked to be only about their age. Did that mean he died at fourteen? That was a tragedy.
"But do I try to change him?" Sam wondered. It was true she believed he could do anything and many times she pushed him to do things he normally would avoid at all costs. Was she forcing him to act the hero?
Valerie couldn't keep thinking that way. If she started seeing him as a victim instead of a villain she'd never be able to catch Phantom. He had done some horrible things to her—he had! Valerie grumbled defensively, "so hard not to blame him."
"Hold on tight, Sam," she sang to herself. He wanted to do this and she supported him. He may not like her in the same way that she liked him but they were still good friends. He would tell her if she was too overbearing. Plus, he needed her to push him a little. Every hero needs a sidekick right?
"Hold on tight," Valerie reminded herself. She needed to keep her grudge no matter who tried to trick her out of it. It was her only protection. "Oh I don't know, I don't know what he's after!" she repeated exasperatedly.
"But he's so beautiful," Sam sang. Or rather it was beautiful, their friendship. And to bring her emotions out into the open would not only destroy her reputation as an indifferent goth but also possibly ruin their relationship. "Such a beautiful disaster…"
"And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter would it be beautiful?" Valerie asked as she turned around to head home, fairly certain the night would be ghost free. If she could finally capture that wretched ghost boy and be done with him as she had vowed so many months ago to do, would she be happy? Would she be elated or would she be…upset? Was she really that soft?
"Or just a beautiful disaster," Sam reiterated, growling unhappily. She couldn't deny her own feelings. She could suppress them in the presence of others but here alone in her room they spilled out for anyone to see. She loved him and she couldn't deny it to herself any longer, even if she wasn't sure she should tell him. "I'm longing for love and the logical but he's only happy hysterical," she intoned quietly, though she'd replace hysterical with oblivious. Sam smiled wistfully at the stars barely visible beyond the cityscape.
Valerie, now thoroughly annoyed with herself, landed on the rooftop of the apartment building where she lived. Her suit disappeared as she opened the access door. Bringing her voice to a faint whisper she continued the song, "I'm waiting for some kind of a miracle." Wasn't that the truth!
"Waiting so long, so long…." Sam trailed off, delicately closing her window with a soft click. "He's soft to the touch but frayed at the end he breaks." He was her hero along with the rest of Amity Park, but she couldn't pretend that he was unbreakable. Would her confession help or hurt him?
"He's never enough and still he's more than I can take," Valerie confessed. She was stronger but he was too, and as her resolve to waste him faded, her will to fight disappeared with it. "Oh and I don't know, don't know what he's after," Valerie mumbled. She didn't even know what she wanted anymore.
"But he's so beautiful..." But she loved him; wasn't that enough?
"Such a beautiful disaster."
"And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter, would it be beautiful?" Sam asked as she crawled into bed. Hoping it would, hoping with all her heart. Even if…no, they would make it someday through the fight, and then she would tell him. She could tell Danny that she loved him. She would.
"Just a beautiful disaster," Valerie finished, gripping the front door to her home tightly. She wasn't any closer than when she started, but she felt better somehow saying it out loud. She'd figure this out even if it took a few more night rides and encounters with Phantom. She would.
"He's beautiful, such a beautiful disaster…"