Ever since the start of the season I've loved the dynamic between Ruth & Toby and how two people with the same aspirations can be so incredibly different. So this is a one-parter set during Behind Closed Doors/Snowball when they spent the night in the on call room together :) Thanks to Sar and Whiggles [from holby.tv who both proof read/ made sure I didn't go too off-track with the characters! Enjoy

Ruth gently bought her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly as she silently sobbed into her pillow… Just because Toby hadn't heard her question didn't mean she wanted him seeing her cry. No, no; no one ever gets to see her cry. It was a sign of weakness. So she lay, tears mutely slipping down her cheeks, in the hope that they would go unnoticed once again.

Toby tossed and turned in his chair beside her, adjusting his ear plugs every five seconds, unable to get some much needed rest. As he turned one last time he stretched his leg just that little bit to far and kicked Ruth in the back, causing her to rock from the impact.

He quickly pulled out his ear plugs and sat bolt upright in the darkness that engulfed them. "Oh god! I'm so sorry, Ruth!"

After sucking in a shallow breath to try and hide the emotion that was thick in her throat and continue her normal 'tough girl' façade, she replied, "It's fine, just go to sleep…"

Her voice, despite only being a whisper, failed her; cracking as she fought back the tears that continued to flow freely. Inwardly she cringed and pulled her legs tighter into her chest in anticipation as the room fell deathly silent.

Still sat upright, Toby watched as dim light from outside illuminated the contours of Ruth's body beneath the covers being pulled into a tight ball. His mouth fell slightly agape. The hitch in her voice was undeniable and didn't go unnoticed by him, nor had her retreat to shield herself in a small ball underneath the covers.

He pulled his blanket tightly around his shoulders and whispered into the darkness, "Ruth…"

Visibly flinching at her name, Ruth closed her eyes hoping that Toby would just leave it be, despite knowing he was not the kind of person to do just that. She stayed quiet, staring at the wall, hoping that it would somehow swallow her up.

"Are… Are you ok?" Toby pressed uneasily. He shifted a little closer and laid a hand gently on her shoulder.

Ruth leapt out of her skin at this. Clumsily rubbing the tears from her face, even though it was obvious she'd been crying, she shot out of bed. The cold hit her like a brick wall as she rifled through her bag for some clothes so she could bolt from the room looking at least somewhat dignified.

Toby unconsciously rose to his feet, slightly stunned at the reaction Ruth had had to a simple touch on the shoulder. "Ruth... hey, wait a minute," he stuttered, as she threw on a jumper, flipping up the hood to hide her face.

His boldness grew as she continued to ignore him. "Ruth!" he almost shouted as his hand fled to her wrist to try and stop her running off.

This time she stopped. Her arm fell limp in his grip as she slowly sat back down on the foot of the bed, making sure her hood still hid her from his sight. Toby sat beside her in the dubious silence, unsure how exactly to approach her without getting her any more upset than she already appeared to be.

Ruth used her free hand to wipe her eyes beneath the hood. "Please let me go…" she almost pleaded.

Toby let go of her wrist, half expecting her to run out of the room, but instead she stayed.

"What's going on, Ruth?" he softly questioned.

Shaking her head, she huddled her knees to her chest once again. Embarrassment and hurt etched in her voice as she uttered her reply, "Everyone hates me..."

Toby fell over his words as his brain and mouth tried to co-operate and say the right thing, "No they don't… They just aren't sure about you yet…"

Ruth exhaled in defeat, her body and the shell she fought so hard to stop anyone getting through clearly crumbling. His response had confirmed what she'd been thinking. Maybe it was time for her to move on, try and find another placement, start over again.

"I mean…" Toby tried to back peddle as he saw Ruth's reaction to his statement, but she cut him off.

"No… no, your right. I've been a bitch to everyone and look where it's got me," she responded, raising and dropping her hands to her lap in defeat. "Stuck in the on-call room with you."

Her last comment came out a little harsher than she had intended and she quickly apologised. Toby brushed the comment off and daringly slipped his hand into Ruth's, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He could feel her shaking in his grip; unsure if she was cold or responding to the current circumstances, he pulled the blanket on the bed around her shoulders.

"I don't hate you."

Four simple words. Ruth felt her heart swell with what could only be described as happiness as he spoke those few little words. She squeezed his hand back and removed her hood with her free hand, finally able to show herself to him.

"Thank you," she replied humbly, smiling a little at him before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for this," she repeated before gesturing between them both.

Toby's cheeks flushed pink, although undetectable in the darkness of the room, as Ruth's lips softly touched his cheek. He had never imagined seeing this side of her, let alone actually thinking that it even existed.

"Now, it's nearly 2am… I reckon it's about time we both got some sleep," Toby concluded, trying to lighten the moment a little. "I can't have people asking who kept me up all night because I look like death tomorrow."

A soft chuckle emitted from beside him as they both shuffled blindly back to their beds. "Toby?"

"Yes?"

"You won't… Tell anyone about this will you?" Ruth nervously asked.

Toby smiled, honoured to have been the one Ruth had finally opened up too, "It will never leave this room."

"Thank you," was the almost whispered response.