It was no surprise to Alistair when Neria had promptly stated that Zevran would come to rescue them. The templar had seen the lustful glances the ex-assassin gave the Warden. Whether it be during traveling or while setting up camp, he was always eyeing her. Though he'd only thought about the topic once, and he concluded that he'd never speak it out loud, Alistair was jealous of the elf. Before, he'd only been slightly irked by his presence, but now he felt this burning sensation whenever he saw Zevran staring luridly at the Warden. It drove him crazy. She drove him crazy. His thoughts were plagued by a single desire: to simply hold her and never let go. Even then, half naked in a dirty prison cell at Fort Drakon, he thought the black-haired mage was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.
Alistair had first acknowledged caring for his fellow Warden way back when they were passing through a small town called Lothering. She'd halted their progression seeing as she wanted to handle a simple domestic dispute regarding an imprisoned Qunari, and let Morrigan and him wander the town as they pleased. So long as they got along and didn't start any bar fights. Well, the former didn't happen: Morrigan had made some snide remark and to cool off, he'd walked around the outskirts of the town for a bit. While grumbling about how she was a sneaky witch who would turn him into a frog, Alistair had stumbled upon something quite curious. There, not a foot in front of him was a rose the color of freshly spilled blood. He got down one knee and picked it up, not really sure why he did so in the first place.
"Would be such a shame to leave it here so the dark spawn could taint its beauty."
He gently put it away into his bag and started walking back towards the center of town. Hm, maybe I should give this to Neria, he thought along the way. No, don't be serious. That would be too forward of me. We don't even know each other that well. What am I supposed to say? 'Oh, hey Neria. I saw this really pretty flower and I thought of you! Please don't turn me into a frog.'
With his thoughts clouding his mind, he didn't even realize that he had walked straight into Morrigan. She was caught off-guard, to say the least, and was even more so when she realized that the templar was right on top of her, his armor poking into her sides thanks to the outfit she was wearing.
"Ugh, to what extent will you force yourself upon me?" she groaned, shoving Alistair off of herself. He stood up and dusted off his armor all the while a frown was plastered on his face. He reluctantly extended a helping hand and pulled up Morrigan, who in return gave him a death glare.
"Oh stop flattering yourself. As if I'd actually like a mage. I mean-"
A wry smile crept up on her face. "Oh really? Then would you care to explain as to why I catch you giving our dear Neria doe-eyed looks whenever you think she isn't looking? Hmm, maybe that's because you-"
The clink of metal and no more than a second later she was pinned to the wall of the Lothering Chantry, the cold sword making contact with her bare neck. "That is none of your business-
A low whistle was heard and Alistair felt someone grab his shoulder. "Alistair, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's impolite to make love while leaning on a place of prayer, hmm?"
Damn, he thought, why did she choose now as the time to intervene? He lowered his sword and swallowed before he turned around to face the mage. Neria was unhappy, to say the least. A frown was apparent and behind her stood a girl with red hair and a really tall man.
"As much as I hate your ex-templar, I have to admit that not even he would stoop so low as to make love in the middle of the day while visiting a public place. Now, I see you have two new friends. Introduce us, then."
Neria stepped aside and nudged the redhead forward. "Oh, very well then. I am Leliana, and I am to accompany you on your journey."
Alistair noticed she was wearing clothes of a Chantry sister, but figured it was in everyone's best interest if he didn't make any rude comments. While he was lost in thought, he didn't notice that Leliana was giving his fellow Warden some suggestive glances the entire time she was issuing her commands.
"Ahem. Alistair, would you, at least, humor me for a good five minutes? I'm trying to figure out where we're going next. I promise I'll keep this concise so you can go back to picturing Morrigan-"
"Ah, I'm listening! No need to say such lewd things out loud, Neria."
"I thought so," she scoffed. She went back to talking about the plan and he could tell she was pissed with him. Great job Alistair, he thought, just great.
The second time Alistair had come to terms with his inner feelings, it was quite dramatic. The group had been traveling along the back roads of Ferelden when they had been ambushed by Zevran and his entourage of fellow assassins. Neria, both blessed with wit and mercy, had bested the Antivan elf and was inquiring him about his employer. While he was seething over the fact that Loghain had sent the assassin, he had barely caught a snippet of the conversation when all he heard was Zevran offering himself to warm his friend's bed and fend off any unwanted suitors for her. Though her cheeks were scarlet, she countered that she'd love to have him in that way and pulled him up.
"Surely you aren't seriously thinking of allowing this assassin- who just tried to kill you not ten minutes ago might I add-to join our group?" Alistair sputtered, his face a bright red with both jealousy and embarrassment.
"Relax, Alistair. I think it a wise idea. After all, we need all of the help we can get," Neria chided, her cheeks still a rosy red.
"Ugh, whatever I guess. Bring along your pet assassin. It's not like we already have one of your followers staring at you with hearts in their eyes when they aren't looking," the ex-templar mumbled.
"Ah, my dear companion-to-be, you are talking about love. I speak of the insatiable feeling of lust that comes when staring at our dear friend Neria. The two are very different. Unless you'd like to find that out for yourself," Zevran said suggestively. " I'm always available."
And with that, Alistair stomped off and showed no signs of slowing down. He hated how the elf was so suggestive like that and she didn't even care. Maker, she even played along. Oh, how he longed to hold her in his arms and to whisper sweet nothings into her ear beside the campfire. "Argh, stop it. Stop thinking about her that way. She's our leader, it'd be wrong to desire anything more of her."
"And whom are you thinking about, Alistair? Hmm. Why perhaps it could be an elf mage who happens to be traveling with us now," a female voice whispered from behind. Leliana. She too had a thing for Neria but was coy enough to the point where it wasn't obvious.
"Maker, Leliana. You can't just sneak up on people like that."
Without even seeing her face he could tell she had a smug grin. She enjoyed teasing him about his crush because apparently it was obvious to everyone else but the girl he liked. "Well, I can't help it. It's cute, seeing you all flustered around her."
"That is none of your business. How I feel should not concern you."
There it was. That laugh of hers. "Oh, you wish it were so. You see, Morrigan and I have a bet whether or not you're going to confess to her. Looks like I'm winning so far."
"My love life isn't a bet. And you're lucky Neria enjoys your company, otherwise, I would have-"
"Are you two playing nice up there?" Neria shouted from several feet back.
Leliana smirked and replied with, "I should hope so if Alistair wants to stay in your good graces."
"Ah, you give him too little credit, Leliana. Come back here, I want to discuss something with you."
The bard snickered and left but not without whispering something to her friend. Something that would infect his mind as the days passed. If you aren't going to confess her, then I'd watch your back. There is someone else who looks at her the way you and I do.
When night fell, the group set up camp and like usual they swapped stories of their lives before they met each other. Neria's were always the most fascinating since she was the only one out of the party to have experienced what it was like to have been a mage within the Circle Tower.
This night, she was telling a story from when she was just barely a teen and she had almost burnt down the library.
"Oh Maker, those were good times. However, I must admit, at that age I was infatuated with a templar named Cullen, who was a good two years older than me. It must have been quite the sight: a templar following around an elven girl half his size who looked at him with hearts in her eyes," she laughed, her voice filling the silence of the night.
"Ah, but it was never to be. After all, he was a templar and myself a mage. In turn, I went and cried into the arms of my best friend Jowan. He was the sweetest thing. Annoying at times, but was as gentle as a lamb he was," Neria trailed off, her voice becoming strained with each word, "but that person was gone the day I was drafted into the Grey Wardens."
"I'd hate to overstep my grounds, but, it seems that you were quite friendly with this Jowan person," Zevran stated, curiosity lacing his words.
Neria sighed and hung her head, a notable color of red seeping up on her face.
"If you are asking if he and I had some relation that went beyond friendship…" she trailed off, "then you ought to know this: yes. Yes, he and I had our moments, but it ended as soon as it started. Even with him, I was still, ahem, in love with Cullen so-to-say."
Leliana smiled wistfully and Zevran chuckled to himself. Both had assumed as much when they first heard her mention his name. "Tsk, you were quite the flirt back then. But that's not comparing your skills now, I must say, you've gotten quite better at that. And a few other things I assume, hmm?"
Alistair laughed among his fellow party members, but several thoughts plagued his mind. Is it too much to ask if she still has feelings for them now? She must be, the way she talks about Cullen. Deep down, she probably wants to be back at the Circle Tower, living out the rest of her life peacefully. Oh, what was I thinking? She'd had it rough too. She wasn't trained for battle, she was supposed to lead a normal life. But if she hadn't been drafted, then I wouldn't have met her, and I would never have-
"Alistair, are you okay?"
The blond looked up to see all eyes on him. "Oh-oh. Yes, I am quite well indeed. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I best get some rest. We have a long way to Redcliffe tomorrow."
Leliana arched an eyebrow but remained silent. Zevran smirked and stood up, heading for his tent. Sten grunted and kept staring into the fire. As for Neria, a confused look contorted her face and she questioned whether it was something she said. Little did she know that it was because three of her followers were in love with her.
Alistair's feelings for his companion grew stronger each day. When they finally reached Redcliffe, he was grateful to be towards the last of the group, for he feared to go mad while she was around. But to make things worse, there was sinister magic being used at the castle and so they journeyed there, but only to have fate throw him a twist: Neria's old flame had made an appearance in the dungeons below the castle. To say the least, he wasn't happy when she decided that he could tag along to help fix the problem.
"Oh, Neria! I'm so glad it's you!"
She widened her eyes at the sight and pretty much tripped over the rotting corpses to reach his cell at the end of the hall. "Jowan?"
He reached his hands through the bars to hold hers and her hands met his. "I know we may not be on the best of terms since the incident a while back, but I want you to know that I still value your friendship. Maker, I was an idiot for dragging you down. To believe that I could have gotten you, the girl I love made a Tranquil." He said all this while rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. The sight of this made Alistair's blood boil. This was a gesture that only lovers exchanged.
"Oh Jowan, you never told me you felt that way. We could have fixed what we had…" she cried.
"Shush, none of that matters. What matters now is that you and I are safe for the time being, but we must act fast. There is a demon possessing the boy here, and as long as it is, none of us are safe," the blood mage spoke quietly.
She let go of his hand and wiped away her tears. "Leliana, could you please hand me those keys you found?"
The redhead nodded and fished them out from her pack. She handed them to Neria and the elf unlocked the cell door. Then she did something completely unexpected: as soon as her friend stepped out from his prison, she grabbed the collar of his robes and pulled him down for a feverish kiss.
As soon as she pulled away, the whole party except for Sten had their mouths hanging on the floor. Jowan himself was quite surprised by her act of affection.
"What was that all about?" he sputtered.
"I wanted to do that one last time. This may be the last time we will ever see each other thanks to this damned Blight," she explained, "I don't want to leave you knowing that you assume I hate you. I will always love you, but first as a brother, then as a friend. It's best that we move on from the past. Perhaps, in another life, another time, but not here and now."
He sighed and hung his head. He had gotten his hopes up, but he understood where she was coming from. He'd have done the same thing in her position. "Ah, very well then. Let us hurry, the longer we stand about the more likely the demon is to sense our presence."
And with that, they made their way to the main hall, where the demon was possessing the boy, Connor. There was a fight, but nothing they couldn't take care of. Isolde, Eamon's wife, nearly exploded when she laid eyes on Jowan. If not for Neria, she'd have had any remaining guards kill him then and there. They talked amongst themselves about how to exercise Connor until Jowan proposed a plan that would involve going into the Fade.
"Do not look at me! 'Tis, not I who agreed to come along in the first place," Morrigan exclaimed.
All Alistair had to say was," So you propose Neria goes instead?"
Morrigan narrowed her eyes. "Yes, that is exactly what I'm proposing. Unless you have a better idea?"
"No, I don't, but I also think sending in Neria-"
The elf sighed. "Stop it you two. I can think for myself, and I choose to go into the Fade."
With that, she triggered a storm of angry words. Alistair begged her not to, Morrigan applauded her bravery, Leliana tried talking her out of it, Zevran stood silence for once, and Sten snorted so the group just took that as a sign that he sided with Neria. "Oh hush. I'll be fine. Jowan, prepare the ritual. Let's end this once and for all."
When they camped for the night, Alistair immediately pulled Neria to the side. His eyes were blazing with an intensity she'd only seen on the battlefield, and frankly, it surprised her.
"I suppose this concerns what happened at Redcliffe," she whispered.
"Damn right! How could you do that to me-us? I was worried sick that you would become an abomination! And you even let that little weasel live! He's a blood mage. Sometimes, I swear-"
The ex-Templar was cut off by a chaste kiss. Which was unexpected, to say the least. When Neria pulled away, she was frowning. "I did that so you would stop yelling. Now-"
She didn't even get a chance to finish for Alistair kissed her passionately. He broke away and locked his eyes on hers. "Don't ever do that to me again! It made me feel horrible beyond compare for watching you purposely go into the Fade, where I wouldn't be able to offer my help. You see, I...I l-love...your uh, leadership! Yeah, and it would be pretty big shoes to fill if you died."
Neria was content with the moment, but he just had to go and ruin it. She called bullshit and stormed off. Why would he kiss me to only claim that he would be a horrid leader if I died? I swear shem males are more confusing than any book on necromancy, she wondered.
"Nice job, Alistair. I wasn't sure it was possible, but you got her to hate you even more."
When they approached the wide doors leading into the inner sanctum of the Circle, Neria's home and prison up until about several months ago, she nearly cried. Greagoir had told her that the blood-mages had taken over the tower and she was to eliminate them if she even wanted a chance of the mages helping her cause.
When she stepped inside and they closed the doors behind her, she had to control herself so she wouldn't end up unleashing her pent up anger on anyone that wasn't a mage. It pained her greatly to see her home in ruins. Though that wasn't what shook her to the core. It was the sight of Cullen, her sweet and innocent Cullen, who had been tormented beyond help. She was aware of his broken mind. She could see it in his eyes. Had assumed that she was just another desire demon intent on breaking him, but she didn't give up. She pounded her hands on the barrier and it was then when he realized that she wasn't a demon. She pressed her forehead against his prison and he did the same, practically calling her a saint. All she could offer was her promise to free him, but it was enough to calm him. However, the moment she left, he was a wreck again. Alistair was forced to drag her up the stairs to the Harrowing chamber. He was as sympathetic as anyone, but that burning sensation in his chest was still there. How was he jealous of an insane man? He didn't know the answer to that, but he soon figured it out when he glanced at Neria and how she didn't have the heart to tear her gaze away from Cullen. It was then when he realized that Cullen was still in love with Neria, and she most likely returned his feelings.
While Neria's silent sobs racked through her body, Alistair stood by at the outer edges of the camp. It was his turn for night watch and he had heard the whispered curses and decided to check out whatever it was. It happened to be Neria who sitting on the ground and was cursing herself for killing her former brothers and sisters. He'd only seen this side of her once: way back when they first met and she was constantly terrified that she'd die any day.
"Alistair, I know you're there. Come out from the shadows, please," she said in a hoarse voice. No doubt her voice box under a lot of strain from her constant crying. He took the advice and sat down beside her. It was odd to him: seeing her in a nightgown instead of her armor or mage robes, and he in his sleeping attire.
"I...um..sorry for intruding, but if you think it would help, you could let out your anger on me," he offered. She stopped crying for the moment and he could tell a part of her had died earlier that day. The girl that he loved had become even more of a stranger to him and there was nothing he could do about.
"That is a sweet offer, and I just might have to take you up on that," she sighed, " I just, it just hurt so much when I saw my home in ruins, destroyed by the people I called 'brother' and 'sister'. I would give anything so that wouldn't have happened. There are moments when I daydream about the life I would have had back at the tower if I had not been recruited. Would I have loved Jowan? Or would I break the rules and love my jailor, Cullen? I could have had a normal life-"
She was interrupted by her own sobs and she leaned into Alistair. With this sudden contact, his heart was about ready to leap out of his chest. He nervously gulped and looked down. She stopped crying and tilted her head, the light from the campfire illuminating the gentle nature of her soul; allowing him to see just how badly she needed someone to hold her, whether it be a lover or a friend.
"Please forgive me for this," she mumbled. She closed her eyes and kissed him passionately, pouring all of her hatred and sorrow into it. He was blushing so badly that even his ears were a bright red. She somehow ended up in his lap by the time they were done, and Alistair didn't want to part to their separate tents when Neria finally pulled away. When she was gone, he concluded that he did love her, and their relationship was worth pursuing.
Over the course of the past several months, Neria and Alistair had an on-again-off-again relationship. She was a shameless flirt with any group member that was interested and wasn't above using her looks to get what she wanted. He tried his best to not get mad at her, but lately, she had been focusing her attention on Zevran. Alistair hated to reopen old wounds, but his emotions got the best of him when he overheard Zevran inviting Neria to share his bed. When she had left, he leaped at the chance to ask a few questions.
"Zevran, buddy, mind if I ask a few questions?" Alistair growled.
The elf smirked, knowing all too well what brought what would be a violent encounter. " No problem my friend. You of all people should know I'm as open as a book when it comes to personal affairs."
His eye twitched and to keep from strangling him then and there, he started reciting the Chant of Light. To himself, of course. " Yes, well, what are your intentions? Are you courting her? Are you serious about it? Has she-"
A dry laugh interrupted his interrogation. "Oh my friend, you have the whole thing wrong! Yes, she does enjoy my company-but then again, who doesn't-but it is you who she shares her bed with every night, not I. I admit we have had our moments, and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I can tell she does not love me that way. And trust me, when I say this is the better question: If it is not you or I who she loves, then who is it?"
That did it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Shut your damn mouth, assassin. She would never cheat on me. To insinuate that she would, well…"
Alistair had his broadsword angled at Zevran's navel and the assassin was unhappy, to say the least. Zevran snarled, his lips curled back like a canine's and his eyes reflecting light as though he were a cat. The sound of metal on metal could be heard all over camp and the rest of the group prepared for the worst: Leliana running with an arrow already notched, Sten releasing a war cry as he raised his sword, the Mabari showing its fangs, Morrigan casting a glyph of paralysis, and Wynne grabbing all medical supplies. Neria was too tired to even care, and if need be, her companions would make sure she didn't die a horrible death.
When they found out it was just Alistair and Zevran causing all of the commotions, no one was happy. Morrigan let loose her colorful language and scolded both parties for waking up the entire group during the ungodly hours of the early morning.
"All of this commotion, and for what?" she screeched.
"We were just uhh...training...you know. For killing dark spawn-"
"LIES! He attacked me. All because I merely suggested that-"
At that point, the witch decided only one thing would shut them up. So she did the only reasonable thing: she transformed into a giant spider.
Several boyish screams were heard throughout the early morning hours. When she did turn back, the two apologized for waking her up. As she walked away, they shot each other dirty looks and proceeded to go to opposite sides of the camp.
When Neria actually got up, everyone just looked at her like deer caught in headlights. Not too sure what was going on, she just arched a brow and continued to pack up her belongings. It didn't concern her that her companions looked at her that way, but it did worry her that no one explained what the cacophony of noise was earlier or how they offered no reasoning as to why Alistair and Zevran appeared to be at each other's throats.
On the road, their arguing flared up again when the two noticed Leliana and Neria conversing. It was no secret that the redhead was attracted to the elf, but it remained a mystery if Neria returned her feelings. Zevran was utterly convinced that she did, but Alistair refused to even acknowledge that Zevran was talking to him.
"Leliana, have you noticed Alistair and Zevran acting strangely?" the mage inquired.
The question caught the bard off guard, but she smiled nonetheless. "Oh of course not. What? Why would you think that?"
Neria wasn't amused at her response. "I know you're hiding something," she huffed. "Just tell me what it is."
"I think it best we talk in private. There are many ears," she whispered.
"Very well then," she breathed. "Group! We're stopping for a five-minute break."
Zevran gave Alistair a look that said "see?" and the ex-templar was not happy at all. Maker, is she actually going to end our relationship and leave me for Leliana, Alistair wondered. He anxiously waited for the five minutes to be up and when the two reappeared, he was seething at the fact that Neria was blushing and Leliana leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. Unaware that this was a common gesture among Orlesians, he stormed over towards the two and dragged his girlfriend-or whatever she was to him-away.
"Mind explaining what that was about?" he growled.
"There is nothing to explain, Ali," she hissed.
Her boyfriend sneered at her remark. "Oh yeah, then explain why you let Leliana kiss you in broad daylight."
She was taken aback, to say the least. That's what all of this is about?
"How can you honestly not care? Do I even mean anything to you, or do you think it's fun to play with my emotions? How can you be so childish and selfish, breaking my heart and piecing it back together again?" Alistair exclaimed, all of his pent up feelings finally seeing the light of day.
Neria did not speak. His words shook her to the core and only one thought was on her mind. If you're a selfish bastard who can't learn to control your jealousy, then we're through.
The months after their break-up were unkind to Neria. Sure, they had gained a new companion, Oghren, but she had also lost a lover and a friend. Alistair used to be her rock, but now he was slipping away from her. Even if she didn't want to be in a relationship with him, she, at least, wanted to be friends. He knew her better than anyone and it hurt that he isolated himself. In those dark times, Morrigan was her confidant. The witch struggled to watch her friend get up every day and blame herself for Alistair's decision to stop talking to her. Even though she came along unwillingly, at first, she had grown fond of Neria. She was like the sister Morrigan had never had but never known she needed.
Always by her side, Morrigan was someone she'd consistently take on trips. She almost never brought Alistair along, nor Zevran for that matter. The assassin was hurt, but he eventually got over it and continued to be friends with her. As for Leliana, she had all of her emotions locked away. Ever since she tried to explain to Alistair that it was a gesture common among Orlesians, she had held herself to blame for their break-up. Neria knew it wasn't her fault, but Leliana ceased talking to her for a while. Even Morrigan deemed it silly that she took the blame. The witch claimed that if Alistair was childish enough to start a fight over something as little as that, then they would have broken up eventually. Leliana took that to heart and soon enough she came out of her shell, rejoining the group.
With all but one member fully devoted to her, they set out to rescue Queen Anora. It went without saying that their plan failed. Neria peacefully surrendered and they took her and Alistair to Fort Drakon. Furious at Anora, Morrigan proposed that they go rescue their friends, then proceed to cut the queen's throat. While the witch was still simmering, Zevran proposed that he and someone else go. Morrigan's hand was the first one up when he asked for volunteers.
"So, Neria, I never got around to apologizing for what I did…" Alistair trailed off.
Neria looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Creators, it's about time Alistair. And it only took for us to be half naked and trapped in a cell."
His face burned with embarrassment but he wanted to say sorry since he probably wouldn't get a chance to do it again. "Yeah, I am sorry. It wasn't right for me to say those things and you didn't deserve it. I know you won't take me back, but I want to get this off my chest: you needed a friend and I wasn't there for you. I drove you away when all I wanted was for things to be back to they way they were. I know it's not fair for me to just come out and say these things, but I will always love you. I will always long to hold you in my arms as we lie by the campfire. I will always remember your lips on mine as we kissed for the first time. And you will always hold a special place in my heart."
His sweet words made Neria's heart flutter, but she knew she wasn't in love with him. She was in love with a red-headed bard who had a heart of gold. "That's really sweet, Alistair, and I think a small part of me will always ache for a lost love, but I love Leliana."
He sucked in a breath. Maker, it was too much to ask that she would say she still loves me, he thought.
It was now, at the final battle, that she was a deadly sort of calm. She told herself that if her emotions got the better of her, then all was lost. Leliana was a wreck, but the bard was able to tell her that she loved Neria with all her heart, and she prayed to the Maker that they both lived.
While it seemed all hope was lost, Neria managed to kill the beast without dying. Thanks to Morrigan's ritual with Alistair. However, she was heartbroken that the woman who became a sister to her had left without a trace. She wasn't surprised, but she desperately wanted it to not be true. True to her word, she did not chase after Morrigan, thinking it best to leave her alone to her own dark dealings.
Grand celebrations were in order back at the castle, and the first thing Neria did was kiss her lover. They had both made it through the Blight and all they needed to do was travel the world together, even though Neria would need to come back to Ferelden to rebuild the Grey Wardens. After all, she was now Warden Commander Surana.
10 years later
"How come she-the Hero of Ferelden-isn't here if you two are in love?" Inquisitor Rowan Lavellan asked.
To which Sister Nightingale responded, "She is on a quest to find a way to stop the Calling, for her and me. But when she returns, nothing will keep us apart, and I will be together with her again. And I will never leave her side again, no matter what."