Hello to everyone. The story is set in the beggining of season 5, somewhere before Jay meets Camilla. She and the military-related case don't fit in this story. The idea of Voight torturing Jay didn't leave me alone and as I don't have any close writer-friends I have to do the job myself :D
Few bullet notes:
- The story is not finished yet, I have a plot and ideas, only the writing is slow as hell because - I do not write, so if anyone like this idea, just take it, write it and send me the link, please :D I'll be happy to pass it and discuss it!
- I am not English native, my English is actualy not good, really, so please excuse my grammar and if there's something completely not making sense, my apologies; I will fix whatever anybody points out, though
- I love whump, and this idea was born because of it, finding the ways to justify why would Voight torture Jay and why would Jay let him, is just fun! :)
A thick long silver needle is piercing slowly and steadily through the tissue underneath his skin, controllably tearing up the tissue on his abdomen, making a visible outline that reveals the location of the spike. It is clean work, not even single drop of blood on the surface.
Don't move. You can't move.
His hands clutch into fists and his nails dig into his palm as he tries to divert the pain he can't control into one he can. But he knows this maneuver is not working anymore and he needs to ask. He doesn't want to, he struggles to hold on a little longer closing his eyes shut. At the point, he feels he will not be able to inhale the needed air without hitching, he gives up.
„Uhm..." he tries to make a sound to check how badly is the pain affecting his voice. „S-sarge," he looks down at the man holding the needle as the it goes further to his skin and then resurfaces . I can't I am so sorry. Once the needle goes below again, he knows he needs to say it. „Stop."
His sergeant continues to work without a flinch like he is deaf. He expects this by now. He knows that pushing the limits is his thing. But as the needle continue to touch his nerves, he feels his brain sending signals to his body to defend itself and he cannot control the moves his legs are doing now. He lets out a breath he was holding, inhales a little of air and holds again, hoping Voight will stop before he will be forced to pull another oxygen into his lungs.
„Hank," Alvin stands up from the chair and gets closer to the metallic table where Jay lies, leather ties on his ankles and wrists the only thing preventing him from dangerous squirming. Good, that is good, he could make him stop. But Hank continues to lead the needle furthermore. „Let him just take a breath."
He stops. For a moment. Jay releases breath and starts breathing fast to catch up the deficit. Taking in mind the pain caused by the needle to control it, he shivers. He can do that. Steady pain yes, he just cannot take any new for a moment.
„Okay, Jay. I'm gonna continue now." Voight announces not even a minute after stopping, seeing that the breathing of his subordinate slowed a bit. One more moment, please. Jay says in his mind several times hoping it will have some effect, knowing it won't.
„I am sorry," he apologies, for two reasons – first, hoping it will prolong the brief pause and second, feeling ashamed for asking to stop. This one is tough, he didn't expect it to be. He didn't expect that Voight would go on him with invasive methods. But he accepted it.
His sergeant just takes a quick look at his glassy eyes and with a worry on his face he tries to encourage him. „You are doing great, Jay." This is hard for him too, especially this session. Yet, they both do it with consent because it is needed for greater good, as cliché as it may sound.
Then, Voight takes the needle handle between his thumb and index finger and resumes the pushing against it, placing his left hand on Jay stomach to keep track of the top of it. Having no other defense mechanism, Jay's eyes close again, his hands curl in fists. This is the fifth and there are ten more to go. And this time he is aware that his next stop will go unheard.
Jay sits behind his desk staring at the black display of turned off monitor, supporting his heavy head with a right hand. The office is empty, all his colleagues already left. Except Voight and Alvin, who are discussing something in Voight's office. Before they took their silent discussion behind the closed door, he was asked to wait. And he waits here for a half an hour not even once thinking about what could Voight want.
He knows he is becoming better in accepting his new situation working in the intelligence unit without the women he loved, and without a partner he trusted. He was worried, when she made clear she is not coming back, that this work will not bring him the satisfaction that it did when she was around. But as they cleared out the streets from another corrupted person, he felt satisfied even without her.
Once this thought comes to his mind, he sends it away as he starts to feel it is betraying her. Let's focus on work from now on. He doesn't have to deal with it, it will subside itself with time.
He pulls out one of the case files from his drawer and starts to work on one of his cases when the door to his boss' office slowly opens.
„Jay." His name comes from the right side. He turns his head to Voight and takes in the seriousness in his eyes. Maybe he should have think about what his boss wants a little bit. Now he feels unprepared for this level of gravity. „Can you join us?" Voight invites him to his office. Oh, this sounds like a problem.
„Sure, Sarge," he stands up from the chair and follows to the office.
„Sit down." Voight commands and takes a seat too. Alvin sits on the couch, not saying a word. Jay starts to feel nervous but does everything to hide it. He didn't do anything wrong, there is no reason for his boss to take him out of the unit or rebuke him. He is certain.
However, he can't help but feel nauseous because his boss always sees the invisible.
„I know that the last couple of months hasn't been easy for you," Voight starts after longer than awkward silence. „And I'm aware that you are coping well and I would like you to keep it that way." Jay absorbs his words and takes it as a good introduction. Maybe this will not be such an issue after all.
Just no forced vacation days please. That I really don't need. Jay shifts on his seat and nods. "I will." Their relationship become more solid after Erin left. Voight seemed to trust him the most and he let Jay to know it, which created a stronger bond between them and Jay's respect towards his boss increased above everything negative he felt about him.
Voight and Alvin exchange a look. "Hold on to this confidence. I've got a case for you." Voight finally shares the point of this meeting and passes a thin folder to Jay. He opens it to see a picture of a dark-haired man with name Henry Valdez written on the bottom of the photo. There is nothing else in the file and Jay looks up in confusion.
"Valdez is an army recruiter. Recruits guys for special ops. He also recruits army vets to be his own mercenaries for an organization of hitmen and informants he leads. We have no evidence on him."
Voight hands him over another thicker file. „This one is full of results of his men. And This one," he grabs third folder, „this one is full of his work."
Jay quickly goes through the second set of pictures, usually dead, bloody bodies, headshot kills; then extends his hand to get the third folder. Already getting the pieces together and anticipating an offer to go undercover.
Third folder contains four small passport photos of men paired with photos of damaged bodies attached to detailed pathology reports. Jay goes quickly through the papers, then closes the third file, looks Voight in the eye and waits for some follow up, exasperated from what he'd just seen.
"You want him to recruit me." Jay says when nothing comes from Voight who is analyzing Jay with his shooting eyes. "Okay, I do it." Jay determines and looks at Al and back at Voight not seeing any big deal in it.
Voight is not surprised with the almost enthusiastic reaction but his hopes were him being more hesitative. „Jay, I can't just send you to him. The four shattered bodies belong to ex-military men he tried to recruit. He tortured them to death." Voight says with motion to the folder knowing that Jay is not intimidated by any danger that can cross him in the job, but little more self preservation would not hurt.
„I don't get it, sarge," Jay shakes his head. Why else would Voight show him all this.
Voight again switches his eyes to Alvin as if he needs a confirmation from him for what he is about to say. „What I am trying to say, they didn't pass the entrance exam. You won't survive it, you don't get the job."
Jay begins to understand the unpleasantness of this conversation and doesn't change his expression to hide whatever reaction could Voight read from it. He gets lost for a minute in his thoughts, trying to picture it. His boss is asking him to be voluntarily tortured, possibly killed along with it.
„How do you know that?" he finally finds one neutral question that could give him some time to think.
„We've been tailing him for some time now," Alvin says his first words. „He's got an access to military database where he screens his targets he meets them in a local vet bar. We assume, he offers miraculously big paycheck for first mission," Al points to the third file, „and if they survive it, he uses them for various tasks – simply said – to kill, to gather, to kidnap. For a fortune." He finishes.
„That's what drives them to do it." Voight supplies. „Our estimate is, right now he's got five men at his disposal. We don't know the names, we don't know the targets or where he gets them. The last one was recruited probably two months ago. Since then – two bodies."
„Which means he might be desperately looking for a new goods."
„Naturally, when he doesn't find them good enough for the job, he ends it." Voight stands up and crosses his hands over the chest.
Jay absorbs the information coming from both, nodding. „Yeah... no paycheck." He makes clear that he understands the case now and clenches his jaw feeling uncomfortable. He knows he is going to say yes again, but he also sees the conflict in Voight. Must have been hard for him to approach with this, the thought crosses his mind but is chased away quickly with the bulletproof excuse: „Sarge, you know what I'm going to say. It's our job."
„Jay, we have the pathology reports of the bodies and we have his psychological profile. So we know a lot about this... procedure. And I'm not letting you to go in without a prep." Voight sends another unsettling news to the already out of air room and Jay glances at him, baffled.
„Meaning?" Jay asks uneasily in silent voice.
„I'm aware of the fact you are thousand percent focused on the job right now, whatever the reasons are… And I don't want to take an advantage of your situation. But I need you on this, Halstead." Voight admits not wanting to make this harder for himself by saying the words out loud.
Alvin bends his head down in disapproval of Voight's avoidance to be direct. Bad days are awaiting this kid, and they can't even say straightly what it is going to be.
"You want to torture me?" Jay connects two and two and throws bewildered eyes on his boss. Then looks back at his senior colleague, rage slowly filling him as he fails to hide his discomfort.
Voight expression is as neutral as can be. "No. I don't," he says resolutely. "But I will, if you go in."
"Don't you think it's a little bit awkward?" Jay grimaces unbelievably and stares at his boss. First of all (not even wanting to rethink it), he already proved himself in that area in front of whole unit while being kidnapped by Keyes. Second of all, his sergeant knew he attended survival training sessions as a part of his military training. What more his boss needed? He feels offended. Third… he couldn't ignore that his sergeant never liked him.
"You said it yourself, Jay. It is our job." Voight shrugs, wishing Jay will make peace with that.
Jay looks up, still not sure what to say. "I-… How… how you want to do this?" He asks tentatively, giving non-direct consent to it against his thinking.
"Okay," Voight nods and makes his way next to Jay who stands up as if defending himself. "Go home, Jay. Take this with you," he hands him over the third file and puts a hand on Jay's shoulder, "take a picture from it, think about it." Voight takes a step back from him with eyes still pinned on him. "I'm gonna need at least a week with you, before we send you to him. If you still consent to this by tomorrow evening, come to me."
Jay takes the file and swiftly exits the office without leaving any goodbye word. His thoughts coming chaotically once he is free of the tension. No, he can't think about it. He just needs to say yes or no in his mind. And he already knows it is yes, no matter what he finds in the reports. He just needs to come to Voight tomorrow, say Yes and then live through it and then mark another catch.
"I think that went well," Alvin breaks the silence with an announcement which cannot be easily deciphered as ironic or not. "Are you okay?"
"I am. For now," Voight says, not taking his eyes of his detective who is walking down the stairs. "You are gonna be there with him," he turns to Al. "All the way."