After the final battle Hermione was exhausted and she had every right to. She had just help defeat the darkest wizard to ever walk on British soil and she did it at the age of seventeen with nothing but an old book, her two best friends and Dumbledore's questionable mentorship to one of the after mentioned best friends. That is why she was so happy when she returned to Hogwarts. No more hiding in tents and looking over her shoulder every minute. No more sleepless nights and little to no food. No more cold nights and tears. She would end the day either dead or victorious. best of all, it was no longer just the three of them. All of the Order and her teachers and the students that were willing to fight. She had all of them. They would face Voldemort together.
The end of the battle marked the beginning of a new era in Wizarding Britian, an era she was so glad to finally be able to see. She would live it and make the world a better place. For Remus.
For Sirius.
For Fred.
For Colin.
For Tonks.
For Teddy and all of the little children who she would ensure will only hear about the war and not live through another one.
For Ron.
For Harry.
She would do everything in her power to build a better world for her and her loved ones.
Hermione knew that some things would never change. The way that Harry's hair was always a mess. The fact that Ron could eat an entire banquet and still have room for desert. The fact that Draco Malfoy never ever would allow anyone to see him with unruly hair. Another thing that would never change apperntly was the way Victor held her.
His hand was at her waist as they danced in another ministry function. His hold was light but reassuring it seemed to scream I am here, you can rely on me.
He held her hand in his gently as he guided her across the dance floor. She knew how lucky she was to have kept his friendship even after ten years of their intial meeting. She knew how lucky she was that he loved her.
And she loved him.
His smile. His dark eyes. The way that his accent got thicker when he was sleepy or when he had just woken up and was forcing her to eat before she went to work. She loved how he let her work and came into her study to carry her to bed. She loved how he took every chance to stay with her as long as possible and to make their relationship work. She loved the way he sneaked treats to Crookshanks behind her back and the way he conspired with Harry to make sure she did not spend so much time at the office.
Hermione loved everything about Victor.
Their relationship was perfect except for the tiny matter of her hiding a part of herself from him.
Harry knew something was wrong when Hermione did not answer any of his floo calls.
And he had called many times. Five to be exact. That's when he had decided to leave work and abuse the fact that he was one of four people that could apparate directly into her flat. What he saw when he opened his eyes was a sight that he was not ready for. Hermione was nowhere to be found. The apartment was fine except for the bottle of wine broken all over the floor. There was food on the dining table. Harry's auror instincts kicked in and he drew his wand. There was no sign of a struggle and the food was cold.
Maybe someone drugged the wine and took her?
Harry was about to call Ron and use all of the resources of his department when he heard a sniffle from the bathroom. The door was ajar and he opened it slowly to see Hermione in the .
He released a breath he did no know he was holding in relief. Took a deep breath and braced himself. He was her best friend and he would get to the bottom of this. Hissing Crookshanks clawing at his foot be damned.
"Hermione?"
It started innocently enough. Victor and her were about to have dinner and spend their last night togther due to her pushing new legilsation and Victor having to get back to was getting plates from the kitchen and he was looking at the bottle of wine. When she walked into the room he had looked up at her and in his eyes she saw absoulte adoration. Hermione was in love with Victor but what she did not expect was that Victor was in love with Hermione.
She panicked told him that they had to talk, she asked for break, one that both of them did not want. She barely registered Victor's hurt look and then his anger as he stormed out of her flat. She barely registred her tears as she finally heard the fire calm down after he had used the Floo to leave. She did not know what she was doing untill she had slammed the bottle of wine into the floor. She let the tears fall.
The state that Harry found her in was pittiful and she did not want to tell him what happened, in the end she relented when he threatened to unleash Mrs. Weasley on her.
"I don't understand."
She sighted, "What is there not to understand?"
"What is wrong with him loving you."
Hermione took the cup of tea that Harry had made her and placed it on her kitchen was she supposed to tell her best friend that she was scared?
She was terrified that Victor, who thought of her as the kindest and purest person there was, despite her protests would find out who she really was inside and be disgusted with the person he fell in love with?
How would Victor react when he saw how ruthless she could be. The fact that sometimes she had no qualms about what methods she used to get what she wanted. How would Victor react when one day he no longer saw the war heroine who pushed for magical beings rights but the girl, who at fourteen trapped a woman in a jar for weeks, who had obliviated death eaters and killed and who felt blinding rage sometimes at the incompetence of those in charge of the world she wanted to change. Who sometimes had to blast hexes at the training dolls used to train aurors just so she wouldn't act on that anger.
What would happen when he realized that the girl he thought of as kind and loving and passionate was just determined and blind to morals when it came to what she perceived as good.
Hermione was many things and one of them was self aware. She knew she had judged people too quickly, she still remembered when she had thought that Luna was actually loony and how badly she treated Lavender and how years after the war she had been reluctant to trust Parkinson. The fact that she was now one of her closest friends just further showed how she was blind to the fact that people were gray.
The difference was she was a slightly darker shade of gray.
She looked up at Harry, " What happens when he finds out who he really fell in love with."
A look of confusion settled on Harry's face and then it disappeared as understanding sunk in.
He shook his head and made his way to her side to give her a tight hug.
"He will continue to love you because you are amazing."
She knew she was going to have to get over the fear and talk to Victor. But for now she was going to hug her best friend back and hope that Victor would forgive her.
She hoped with all her heart that she would be able to bear herself to him and finally show him all of her.
Cracks and all.