Inside the Character Studio with Lazlow Luzianne
Interview III
Lazlow: We have another great interview in store for you this week. Straight from the Firefly-class transport ship Serenity, please welcome weapons expert, hero of Canton, and all-around good guy, Jayne Cobb.
Jayne: Thanks, Lazlow.
Lazlow: So Jayne, the first thing I have to ask, what have you and the crew been up to lately?
Jayne: Well, me and my crew been looking for things to smuggle, same as always. Course I always find the best guns.
Lazlow: Wait wait wait. You said…your crew? I thought Malcolm Reynolds led the crew.
Jayne: Well…Mal ain't here right now, is he?
Lazlow: No, I suppose not. Anyway, moving on; what is your favorite gun?
Jayne: That'd have to be Vera. Callahan full-bore auto lock with customized trigger double cartridge thorough gauge. Killed an assassin to get it. Ain't never let it go.
Lazlow: From what I hear, you tried to trade it for a girl once?
Jayne: YoSafBridge? Pfft. Damned harpy is what she is. Glad I didn't give my baby up.
Lazlow: Good good. Now then, this might be a painful question, but I have to ask. I know it affected Mrs. Washburn the most, but what effect has losing Hoban had on you?
Jayne: Well shoot, he was a good pilot, damn good pilot. It's a gorram shame the reavers killed him way they did. It was tough at first. I think having that damn crazy girl and Mal fly is tougher though.
Lazlow: Quite. Now I have here a question about a man named Stitch Hessian.
Jayne: Man's dead, and that's just where you should leave him. Ain't nowhere in the 'verse I'd rather have him than under the ground.
Lazlow: Do you still consider yourself the hero of Canton?
Jayne: I ain't no hero. Well, I am, but not there. Them damn people just had the story wrong.
Lazlow: But the song is so catchy. Do you mind if I sing it?
Jayne: I'd rather ya' not, Lazlow.
Lazlow: Jaaaayne, the man they call Jaaaayne…
Jayne: Stop it.
Lazlow: He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor, stood up to the man and he, gave him what for…
Jayne: Now you go and stop that, now!
Lazlow: Our love for him now, ain't hard to explain, the hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne.
Jayne: One more warning, gorram it.
Lazlow: Now Jayne saw the mudders backs breakin'…
Jayne: That's it. I'm getting' Vera.
Lazlow: Okay okay! That's all the time we have for today but..uh…
Jayne: Prepare to die, tea-boy!
Lazlow: I'll be back next time…hopefully..in Inside The Character Studio. Ah…Arrrggh!!
-Our Apologies…We are experiencing technical difficulties.-