Dwight K. Shrute
Have you ever gotten a snakebite,
Or wished you didn't have cellulite?
Having a loss of appetite?
Just ask Dwight.
Dwight K. Shrute knows how to shoot,
If you get hurt he'll file lawsuit.
Have you been feeling destitute?
Seven numbers is all it takes
To call up Dwight K. Shrute.
914-8282
Need help in a fistfight,
Know how to make a pen-light?
You know who might…
The Office favorite, Dwight.
If you're sick drink some gingerroot,
Or if you want a parachute,
A home-made swimsuit,
There's only one absolute:
Dwight K. Shrute.