Hi there! I got bitten by the kabby bug so… yeah. I'm making this a collection in case the bug bites again.
I've only watched up to the season 1 finale so far so I hope I didn't make too much of a mess. I hope I didn't make too much of a mess in general but Akachankami says it's okay so I will bow to her superior knowledge and thank her for the beta while I'm at it.
I needed to write something about what happened before that "salvation" scene because seriouuuuusly something happened. My ship senses are tingling.
Additionally, it should be noted that this collection almost got called "Salvation comes at a price, my ass" because I've been repeating it ever since Marcus stood up.
Ok, enough babble. I hope you enjoy this!
His Salvation
She doesn't notice him and he awkwardly shuffles on his feet on the medical bay threshold, watching her dispatch stuff in different boxes, impatiently pushing her hair back over her shoulder each time it falls in her eyes.
It's only when she reaches for a bigger box at the top of a shelf that he moves out of reflex, grabbing it for her. She looks surprised to see him.
"Thank you." she says, rather hesitantly. His smile is brief and small, there and gone the next second. He glances at the boxes full to the brim with different medical equipment and she snatches a few things from the one he is still carrying with a light touch of annoyance. "I thought it would be a good idea to spread medical resources equally between all the stations. I am not hoarding it." She says it almost defensively, as if she thinks he was about to accuse her of stealing.
He supposes that's what he gets for arresting her so many times.
He supposes he earned her contempt.
He certainly earned his own.
"It's a good idea." he offers and she looks surprised once more. She shouldn't be. He doesn't like her methods and they are of different opinions more often than not but they've both been on the Council for enough time and they are not always of different minds on everything. He respects her – he didn't always respect her methods, he doesn't believe in the rash impulsive actions she often takes, but now he doesn't know if her methods are so wrong anymore, his calculated plans blew up in his face and he has three hundred dead people on his conscience so maybe she has the right idea of it. He chases those thoughts out of his head and gives the room a sweeping look. There are still a lot of things to box up. "Do you need help?"
"We still have a few hours before the launch, I can manage. You don't need to…" She stops and shrugs. "Don't you have anyone you want to say goodbye to?"
He answers with his own shrug. "Not really."
He doesn't want to think about his mother. Too many things have happened in too little time and he didn't have time to process it yet.
"Oh." Abby says and then waves at the shelf behind her and at the stash of plastic wrapped syringes. "One in each box."
They work in silence for a while. He follows her instructions and he thinks maybe it works better this way with her giving the orders and him executing them. He can do the dirty job if he needs to but experience has proven he shouldn't be the one making the calls.
"Do you know on which station you will be yet?" she asks eventually.
There has been no real discussion as to how they would be dividing people. Two council members wouldn't be allowed on the same station, he figures, to make sure some sort of hierarchy survive the fall. Other than that, people will stay with their families and friends, he supposes.
"Yours, if you will have me." He feels the words leaving his lips, hears his voice uttering them but he isn't sure where they come from. It seems like a good time as any to come clean so he places the vaccines in one of the boxes and clears his throat. "Abby, I'm sorry. You were right from the start."
She doesn't answer at once and, when she does, it's with enough strength in her voice that he knows she's trying to bypass the understandable anger and resentment. "You couldn't know that. You were trying to do the right thing. I can't fault you for that." She flashes him a brief strained smile. "And you did save my life. That has to count for something. Granted you tried to kill me twice before that but…" She shrugs the rest of the sentence away. "It will be a new life down there, Kane. We can't cling to our mistakes. We have to leave them in the past."
Her words tear a bittersweet snort out of him. He doesn't think it will be that easy to live and forgive, not in his case.
"I'm glad you're alive." he confesses. "I didn't know… I hoped it would be you. I hoped I would find you." He reaches for her face tentatively, his shaking fingers not quite brushing her cheek. He feels ridiculous. He is ridiculous probably. "I'm glad you're alive." he repeats, his voice dropping to a rough whisper.
The words are inadequate and he hopes she won't ask what it means because he doesn't know.
He simply knows that the moment of uncertainty between him crouching next to her, commanding her to wake up, and her opening her eyes has been enough for him to understand he really doesn't want to lose her.
Her face is guarded but the mistrust slowly melts away when she tilts her head slightly. It's enough for his bandaged hand to finally make contact with her skin and his breath catches in his throat.
Their eyes search the other's for something, equally confused by what is happening. Marcus doesn't know what is happening, doesn't understand. He is simply moved by the same certainty he had in the maintenance shaft : he needs Abby. She balances him and he needs balance, now more than ever.
He doesn't know who leans in first. It feels as if the artificial gravity failed and his center is shifting. He is drawn to her like he has never been drawn to anything before. He would have expected it to be sweet but the kiss is rough, almost violent with despair and when he tries to step back, she keeps him in place, keeps him to her.
"Abby…" he whispers when their lips part. It sounds like a prayer. Maybe it's one. They stare at each other, a little shocked, a lot confused, and they lean in again at the same time. Their mouths crash together as they collapse on each other, hands sneaking under fabrics, clothes hastily taken off or pushed out of the way… Once they're naked and panting and her hands are insistent, trying to make him move, he stills, presses his forehead against hers. "Forgive me."
"I won't forgive you if you don't start moving." she growls, completely missing the point.
It's alright. She doesn't have the power of granting absolution anyway. But, he thinks, as he buries himself in her, so deep he has to close his eyes under the onslaught of sensations, she could be his salvation.
If his mother has taught him one thing, it's that salvation has to be deserved, fought for.
He wants to deserve her, to fight for her.
Salvation always comes at a price but he is ready to pay it no matter what it will be.