I decided to do a oneshot on ShinAya because this pair is so sweet and to get rid of my writers' block.
Very vague. More like I wanted to express Shintaro's thoughts when Ayano committed suicide..
If only I'd reached out sooner.
If only I'd known what was coming.
If only I'd realized that I'd loved you.
I was too naive, too proud of myself as a genius, unable to reach out as you suffered in silence.
If I had known what you were going through, if I'd known what you were thinking, if I'd only been there sooner...
I wouldn't be here, a lone white daisy in my hand, fingers tentatively reaching out to place the fragile flower, so much like you, on your desk.
You always smiled, even when you looked down at your paper marked with a sickly red ink that read 23, even when I nonchalantly folded a paper airplane with my usual 100-percent test and throwing it out the window, watching it spiral down to the ground.
You always sat down next to me, asking me, how are you?
As always, I glanced at you out of the corner of my eye, and muttered, same as usual.
You never once frowned at me, even when I pushed your hand back, walking down the road back home.
You were there for me, while I was always walking a few steps ahead of you, never really letting you catch up.
But I couldn't be there for you, even for that one time.
The answer was there, the transparent opaqueness in your eyes, but through the iron mask of unfriendliness I'd put over my face, I failed to see you.
The seat next to me is empty, but I still see you.
The same light smile, the same warm chocolate eyes, the same red muffler around your neck.
It's the same you, but why-
Why can't I reach out and brush your cheek?
Why can't I rearrange the unorganized strands of hair peeking our from the edges of the scarf?
Whyㅡ
Why do I say these simple words nowㅡ
I love you...
I might make a second chapter, maybe in Ayano's point of view.. hmm.
Cover pic is mine.