Chapter 1

At the Precipice of Despair

Rivulets of water dripped from a long red ponytail onto the tile floor. Kyoko looked around the station, conscious of having to control her breathing; not nervous, she told herself-not scared. She took off running through the corridor, a sense of foreboding beginning to overwhelm her thoughts as fragments of the puzzling conversation between Homura and Kyubey began to take on new meaning. Those two are made for each other, she thought with more of a grimace than a grin. Arrogant, insufferable and emotionless. Quickly pulling out a piece of Pocky, she jammed it in her mouth, sharp canines snapping the stick as her jaw clenched with pent up nervous tension. Her lips clamped around the remaining end of the stick, smearing a little chocolate along them.

Deep down, in that place within the human soul that demands acknowledgement of the things we wish most to forget, she knew she was terrified. Despite years of emotional callous developed by self-hatred, blaming herself for the horrible fate that had befallen her entire family, she felt... something.

For the first time in over a year, she had something to lose.

It was the scariest thought of all, for her. Something, someone, important to her was in danger of slipping away. Her entire world-view, the way in which she understood her life and existence, had been shaped by the events of that horrible day when her father had learned her secret, snapped, and destroyed Kyoko's entire world. The day she lost everything. Since then, she'd thought she'd killed off the part of her that craved family, friendship... and love.

Kyoko was intimately familiar with loss. She knew the aching, gut-twisting agony of despair. A feeling of loss so profound, it was as if your very soul had been permanently shredded. The anger and rage against an impossible-to-understand event, something so painfully cruel that it forced you to stop and truly consider the meaningless of life. Cringe at the vast unfairness of everything this wicked universe chose to throw at us. Her father was bad enough; a passionate and vocal man of his convictions-a man and a role-model, who Kyoko always thought of as fighting in the light, while she battled in the darkness. A team for bringing good into the world. In the end, convinced that his own daughter had turned against him and been "in league with the Devil." Yet, perversely, she missed him still-had failed him as she'd failed the others. She still thought constantly of sweet little Mo-

Not now. Shaking her head, her long red ponytail whipping back and forth, she continued running.

Kyoko had thought long and hard about the nature of her father's beliefs since the tragedy. It was obvious to her that her father's all-powerful and forgiving God was either a figment of his imagination or just didn't care what happened to humanity. At first, she wondered at the need for a Devil when such evil existed within the world despite what, if any, efforts God made upon humans' behalf. Just a smokescreen, someone to divert attention and outrage that would otherwise target the real creator of misery...

Then she realized there were devils in the world. Men like her father, like that one who attacked her that night in the alley-

Snapping out of her dark reverie with long-honed discipline, Kyoko reassessed her situation. She was concerned, fine-but dammit she was a bad ass and not about to give in to any feelings that were busy bouncing around in her stomach. Another bite of Pocky and she turned the corner, noting with dismay that many of the overhead lights were flickering feebly, and some areas of the large room she found herself in were completely dark. The place had that skin-crawling feeling of a witch's labyrinth. Something's not right. Her shoes sounded uncharacteristically loud on the black and white checkerboard tiles.

Almost as if ice water was suddenly pumping through Kyoko's veins, a new sense of purpose and determination enveloping her as her gaze was drawn to the hunched figure sitting in the middle of the room. A shock of limp blue hair was the only color against the shapeless, stained white cape she huddled within. Kyoko raced up a few stairs to an elevated area filled with stools, dark except for a large monitor that backlit the ragged-looking figure of Sayaka Miki.

She pulled up, her long red ponytail whipping around unnoticed. "I finally found you," she said, with an attempt at amiability. There was no reaction from the girl sitting before her. And this is why I don't bother being nice, the thought ruefully. Making friends had never been a talent of hers. Approaching the haggard-looking magical girl, Kyoko felt her heart twist in empathy at the younger girl's obvious distress. Kyoko noticed something dark staining the younger girl's bangs, then mentally shrugged.

Sitting down, the redhead brought out a package of chips from a well-worn pocket, thinking to use them as a peace offering-Sayaka looked drawn and pale, as if she hadn't eaten in a while. "Just how long are you gonna keep this up?" she asked, awkwardly trying to draw attention to how hard it had been to track the younger girl down-and how much determination it had taken. But Sayaka seemed blind to the implied affirmation of concern, and was equally oblivious to the offered snack.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time." Lank, dirty blue hair twitched feebly as Sayaka let out a tired sigh.

"Huh?" The words, and the tone behind them, hit Kyoko like one of Mami's bullets, ripping right through her. She flinched, reeling from the realization that Sayaka wasn't just upset. Her new friend had already given up. Where was that stubborn, proud jackass who'd had the nerve to throw Kyoko's apple offering back in her face? "That doesn't sound like you."

Kyoko's attention was briefly drawn to the glint of Sayaka's sword, still materialized and lying on the checkerboard floor. A stain on its blade was enough to tell the story for now, coupled with the spattering on Sayaka's cape and hair. Whatever, she thought dismissively. It could be dealt with later.

"Yeah." Sayaka looked up, her eyes dull and unfocused. The pained look on her face conformed Kyoko's fears. "That's because I don't really care anymore." Kyoko's words died on her lips, as she heard the younger version of herself repeating those same words, over and over, barely holding it together after the tragedy. "I can't even remember what I thought was so important, so worth protecting...

"None of it makes sense anymore."

Kyoko's mind raced, awhirl with memories of both her own past, and Sayaka's situation. "Hey..." she began, but was rendered speechless again when the blue haired junior revealed her Soul Gem, so clouded with inky black clouds that it barely illuminated the telltale sparkle of tears within her crystalline blue eyes.

Kyoko's own eyes were suddenly drawn to movement at the periphery of the screen's ghostly illumination, widening at the sight of a faded poster twisting, turning and collapsing in on itself. She gazed in horror as the bend in reality left behind a new shape, a strange runic letter that seemed to hover, or pulsate, from the wall.

The older girl shook herself, mind working furiously. Enraged at her own inability to think quickly, she tried to find a way to reach across the gap that had developed between her and the junior. Why is it that she couldn't find the right thing to say, when she never had to think twice about which direction to attack from or what dessert to choose first!

Tears glistening in her deep, sad eyes, Sayaka glanced briefly at Kyoko, taking her silence for permission to go on. "The balance of hope and despair in the world cancels out to zero. You told me that once, didn't you?" Crap, thought Kyoko. My own words bite me in the ass, again! "Now I finally understand what you mean."

No you don't, Kyoko wanted to shout. You are talking about the childish pain based on puppy love-my entire family was slaughtered! By my own father! I have it way worse than you!

But her recent days of uncharacteristic personal reflection had led the redhead to understand that self-righteous cries for attention were not going to help the current situation: in fact, it was exactly what she was trying to prevent with Sayaka.

A look of intensity crossed Kyoko's face, unseen through Sayaka's veil of tears. She understood, finally, what was going on. She forced herself to finally accept and acknowledge the feelings she had struggled so hard to suppress for the past week, easily the most turbulent days of her life since the tragedy.

"Sure, I managed to save a few people, but in exchange, hatred and jealousy filled my heart," Sayaka continued, a shadow of horror playing across her delicate features as she ran white-gloved fingers through her sticky, tangled hair. "I even hurt my best friend."

Kyoko's mind was racing through her memories of the past few days. Thinking back to the first fight, the unstoppable and unwavering courage and determination the blunette had displayed, even succeeding in pushing Kyoko to the point where the older girl stepped up the fight from territorial brawl to a fight-to-the-death. The red-head's blood ran hot, and was boiling after encounter with the rookie Puella Magi.

Remembering the feel of the Grief Seed in her hands, pulsing with dark energy. Sayaka had thrown it to her following the battle with the witch Elsa Maria, the newly-Contracted Magical Girl foolishly tossing away what she needed most in order to pay for a debt of honor that existed entirely inside her head.

She does what she thinks she needs to, just like me. Except I am only looking out for myself-the naive fool thinks she has to save the whole world! Well, you can't Sayaka, and neither can I. Neither will God. He may have abandoned us, but I refuse to abandon you.

Kyoko opened her mouth to speak.