Author Notes: This is a companion piece to the story Memorabilia, the events of which take place before any events of the latter.
The terrible Frostback Mountains lined the western border of Ferelden, cutting across the land from north to south. Orzammar lay deep beneath the Frostbacks, perennially buried under cold snow and impenetrable rock. The dwarves of Orzammar were one of the earliest allies of the Grey Wardens and the time had come for the Wardens to call upon them.
The journey to Orzammar was never an easy one, however. The path was perilous, the terrain was treacherous and small bands of darkspawn were always around, emerging from the Deep Roads to ambush unsuspecting prey. Yet, all of these hardships seemed miniscule compared to the Blight. Solona and Alistair thought battles and ambushes commonplace. Their experience at Ostagar had prepared them for anything and everything that fate could throw their way. In fact, they had already faced an ambush – a well laid out trap with a good leader. The surprising thing was that they made it out alive and with a new member added to their party – the Antivan Crow, Zevran Aranai.
Alistair was not happy with Solona's decision to take the assassin along with them. Assassins, by their very nature, had the propensity to turn on people. Additionally, this assassin was an elf. He had reason to hate the humans and one could never tell when the hatred would take over. To add to his anxiety, Solona had started to disappear from time to time. She would wander off at night – alone, in the dark and in the dreaded Frostbacks. He worried for her safety – she could get attacked by darkspawn, she could get robbed by bandits, wild animals could hunt her and so many other bad things could happen! He would ask her where she went, but she would shrug her shoulders and avoid replying. It was too much for him to take. She was special to him and he would not be able to bear the loss of anymore of his dear ones. Determined to keep her safe, he decided to follow her the next time she left camp.
Alistair had begun watching Solona's movements carefully and he followed her the next time she had left camp. Having removed his boots, he was as quiet as he could be and he maintained a safe distance from her. Everything seemed to be all right, his darkspawn senses weren't tingling and this part of the Frostbacks seemed only to have trees and the occasional owls. As they continued walking he saw Solona heading towards a small clearing and then she stopped. From where he stood, he could only see Solona sitting down on the cold ground, doing nothing. He edged closer and closer until the rest of the surroundings became visible. They were both at the edge of a field with white flowers. A few moments passed in what seemed like ages, yet Solona sat there, eyeing the field without making so much as a single sound.
The wait seemed endless – Solona would not move and Alistair was losing his patience. He decided to move into the clearing and shake Solona out of her reverie. Casually he walked into the clearing and stood before her.
"What are you doing here!" Solona exclaimed, half expecting to meet anyone before returning to camp.
"Oh, nothing really," Alistair replied, "I just got a wonderful idea, see, I thought I'd go wandering in the woods, search for a random clearing, stare away into the darkness and out rightly refuse to explain my actions to anyone who asked back at camp."
Solona understood the purpose behind Alistair's comment. She knew that he wanted her to quickly start explaining everything to him, but this time, he would not have his way.
Alistair saw Solona rise to her feet and she was beginning to walk away.
"Well, in that case, I'll leave you to it," she said as she started to leave. However, Alistair would not let her leave, not unless she gave him an explanation for her behavior. He caught her by the hand and gently pulled her face to face.
With a playful smile he said, "You, my lady, are very bad at evading questions, even the indirect ones. Remind me to teach you a thing or two about it. I happen to be an expert, you know." Solona realized that resistance was futile. Alistair could be incredibly charming when he wanted to. She couldn't help but smile in response. Slowly she extracted her hands from his, and motioned him to sit down beside her.
"I want to tell you a story," she said, "It's about a witch and a prince."
The story Solona narrated, was one of compulsory reading material for mages back in the circle tower. It was one of the first stories that apprentices were expected to know. It was a story that belonged to a time long forgotten, the story of a woman named Laylah – a powerful, yet elusive witch, in a kingdom that had no mention in history.
Laylah was a beautiful young woman, raised in a forest by nature itself. She was well versed in natural magic. She understood natural energies and used them extensively. Laylah lived her life in seclusion, away from the rest of society, never harming anyone or anything. Several local legends mentioned the presence of a powerful witch in the woods, yet no one knew anything about her. Laylah had seen several human settlements in the forest and several of the humans had seen her in the woods. Never once, however, did the settlers suspect that the woman in the woods was, in fact, the fabled witch. She was benevolent and helped the ill and the injured. Oftentimes, she would leave medicines, herbs and potions for them at the edge of their settlements, all in secret.
On one occasion, the prince of the kingdom – the one in which lay Laylah's forest abode – had ventured too far into the woods in search of game. Tired and hungry, the prince had consumed poisonous berries without listening to the handful of soldiers accompanying him. The poison coursed rapidly through the prince's blood and left him on the verge of death. The soldiers panicked, but could do nothing to aid their lord. Laylah, however, recognized the symptoms of poisoning only too well. She wished to help the dying prince and approached the soldiers. Although initially reluctant, the soldiers soon decided that they could trust her and gathered all the ingredients that she needed to prepare the antidote. Once ready, the antidote was given to the prince and he quickly recovered. The prince was so charmed by his savior that he began to frequent the woods, every time attempting only to see her, to meet with her. Very soon, the gallant prince and Laylah had fallen in love.
Many days passed, the lovers became almost inseparable and the old king grew unwell most suddenly. As the old king lay on his deathbed, he summoned his son and decided that it was time for his son to know something about the royal family. The king revealed, that an oracle had predicted his death in a manner that bore uncanny likeness to the present circumstances and that the prophecy extended to the untimely death of his son due to a fatal bite by a dreaded beast dwelling in the woods. Arrogant and careless, the young prince marched to the forest with the finest men of his army, thinking that he could slay the beast before it could harm him. The beast, however, proved too powerful for him and his men. One by one, his men fell and the prince was bitten, just as foretold. Even though the bite had left him alive, he could feel his life dwindle slowly.
Laylah had learned of the prince's condition and decided that she would save her love or die trying. Laylah confronted the beast in its lair, but even she was no match for its monstrous strength. However, instead of killing her, the beast proposed a compromise. It promised to spare the prince's life only if she agreed to spend the rest of her days with the beast, in its lair, never to meet anyone else and never to leave. She had little time to decide and her lover was more precious to her than anything else in the world. She agreed to the proposal.
As promised, the beast had spared the prince's life - the wound given by the beast had begun to heal and the prince soon regained his strength. He sought Laylah when he was well enough, but she was nowhere to be found. Eventually the prince gave up, bitter and angry with her for he felt betrayed and alone. In the subsequent years, the prince was crowned king. He got married and even had children. Several decades later, after one of his sons had succeeded him to the throne, a handsome young man visited him. The young man revealed that he was once cursed to become a terrible beast, destined to wreak havoc in all the lands until an unselfish soul would calm the rage within him, thereby granting him the deliverance he sought. The young man said that he had been saved by a selfless witch named Laylah and that she had requested him to bring to the king this message when she had passed. The young man explained to the old king, that his life had been spared only because Laylah had chosen to spend her life with the beast, so that she could save the man she loved. The young man had left a single white tulip with the old king, telling him that it was from Laylah, telling him that it was a symbol of her love for him. With tears in his eyes, the old king held the tulip and never parted with it until his death, whereupon it was left on his grave.
The legend of Laylah was forgotten soon after, finding mention only in a small book found in the Circle Tower of Ferelden. It was meant to teach the apprentices to be wary of love. A lot of the mentors at the Circle even claimed that the story was aimed at teaching the apprentices not to get involved with nobility.
When Solona was done recounting the tale, she had a strange expression on her face. Alistair sat there, studying her. However, he still wasn't sure why she was there in the middle of nowhere.
"So, how does that explain you coming here?" he asked.
With a distant look in her eyes, Solona replied, "The field before us is filled with white tulips and ever since I've read that story, I've wanted to see tulips. They've become my favorite flowers ever since I saw them and I saw them for the first time when we entered the Frostbacks."
Alistair was witnessing something he had never anticipated. The way Solona had described the story and the way she looked at the tulips, everything about her suddenly seemed different.
"So…why do you like tulips? I thought the story was tragic," Alistair said, hoping to extract the real reason out of Solona. He eyed her closely.
"When I first read the story, I thought that love was a fallacy, that Laylah was a fool and that the prince was no better. But even so, I wanted to see tulips, to find out just how pretty they were and if they truly were capable of bringing a powerful monarch to tears," she said as she stared at her knees, her voice low and laden with a depth of emotion that Alistair could not quite describe.
"Now that I have finally seen them, I know why the monarch cried. I now know that the story was beautiful, so much so, that I cannot bring myself to feel sad," she said. With the hint of a smile on her face, she looked at Alistair, her eyes gleaming. It was the first time that Alistair noticed how beautiful her eyes really were – dark like the night and possessed of a mysterious glow. They were like black pearls, tempting even the most cautious of sailors to reach out into the unknown, just to touch them.
He could feel his heart grow unsteady with every passing second.
She continued, "Of late, I've found Laylah to be the object of my envy. I don't know what love is, but for some reason, I want a love as strong and pure as Laylah's."
Alistair's heartbeat grew rapid. He was trying to understand why he was feeling so strange, so wonderful and so giddy all of a sudden. He took a minute to look at his hands and he found that he had sweaty palms. Instinctively he looked at Solona and he beheld a woman – not a mage, not a Grey Warden, not his leader – just a woman, but a beautiful woman. With her silken hair blowing in the cool breeze, her lips curved in a smile and her eyes looking at the distant horizon, Solona looked nothing like anything he had seen before. Surely, he had seen beautiful women earlier. Some of the sisters at the Chantry were more than just pleasing to the eyes. Noble women were invariably endowed with good looks, and yet the woman before him had redefined beauty for him. He was certain that it was more than just her appearance, Solona made his heart race. That was something no one had done, ever. It was then that he realized why he felt so wonderful and so uncomfortable. He wanted her; he wanted her all for himself – never to part. He was in love.
Solona had had her fill of gazing upon tulips. She was ready to go back to camp and she began to leave when Alistair held her back, asking her to wait for just a little while longer. He was looking at her unendingly. This behavior was most uncharacteristic of him. She had never seen Alistair this way.
With a gulp he began, "All right, I guess I really don't know how to ask you this." The matter seemed urgent and somehow important.
Solona was unsure what to expect. He was fine until about a moment ago - "Are you sweating?" she asked.
"No! I mean yes. I mean I'm a little nervous, sure…Not that this is anything bad or frightening or…well, yes," Alistair was more than just a little nervous. The only other time he had been so shaky was when they had gone to meet his half-sister, Goldanna. Solona looked at him, slightly worried.
"Oh, how do I say this? You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you, I feel as if my head's about to explode. I-I can't think straight." - Alistair's voice was sincere and his claims certainly did seem genuine. He often cracked the silliest jokes around Solona; he would act so clumsily around her that it was hard to picture him as a disciplined and battle-hardened warrior.
Solona smiled at him. His awkward gestures, his honesty and childlike simplicity always made her happy. That was probably why she began to like him in the first place.
"That's very sweet," she remarked.
Alistair looked at his hands, took a deep breath and began anew, "Here's the thing: being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you. Not ever." He had suddenly become very serious. There was a distinct resolve in his eyes. His anxiety had apparently vanished just as suddenly as it had come.
"I don't know how to say this another way. I want to spend the night with you, here. Maybe this is too fast, I don't know, but… I know what I feel," he said, and his words caught Solona off guard. Her eyes were wide open with surprise. She felt uneasy and could not tell if he was pulling her leg or if he meant what he said. Having never faced such a situation before in her life, she scarcely knew how to react – "This is a little sudden, Alistair."
Gently he pressed her hand and tried to calm her down. He could not hold his feelings inside, not any more. He always thought Solona was someone special, but barely moments ago did he realize just how important she was to him. He yearned for her, in body and mind, heart and soul.
"I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place…but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't even have met. We sort of…stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I found myself falling for you in between all the fighting and everything else." – Alistair was right. They had met coincidentally and their circumstances were far from conducive for a relationship to develop. With another deep breath, he spoke, "I really don't want to wait anymore. I've never done this before. You know that. I want it to be with you… while we have the chance. In case…"
"Don't talk like that. There will always be time later," Solona quickly cut him off. Instinctively she took his hands in hers. She could not bear to think of separation. She did not want to admit it, but she had become too attached to him. Gone were the days when she lived just for the sake of living. There was a purpose to her life – she wanted to be with him, forever.
Alistair understood that Solona did not want to think about what the future held for them, but that did not change the status quo. For all they knew, they could die the very next day.
He caressed her cheek and said in a low voice, "Will there? You don't know that. I'd like to be able to say that I threw caution to the wind at least once."
There was no denying that Solona wanted to be with Alistair, but there also was no denying that she was shy and embarrassed at the thought of 'spending the night' with him. For her, sex was not just something two people indulged in when their physical desires got too strong. It held a deeper meaning. For her, sex was about exposing her inner most wishes, concerns and vulnerabilities to someone who was willing to protect her, someone who would help her overcome her fears.
A sizeable number of women held a similar opinion on sex, yet very few faced the problem of finding the right partner while having to contend with magic. Solona was a mage - cursed by the Maker, and therefore most men would never consider even associating with her. Things like love or marriage were unimaginable. Over the years, Solona had convinced herself that she would live her life alone, that matters of the heart were meant for those who did not have more important issues to deal with – like being hunted by templars or being mind-controlled by blood mages. However, her conviction was torn down bit by bit by a templar who, like her, had had little or no choice in life. Alistair was perhaps the only man who saw her as a woman – one who needed love and care just like any other living being. Alistair showed her that friendship, companionship and love were as basic to all creatures as food and air. With him, she understood that she was only fooling herself in believing that she needed no one in life. She had finally found someone with whom she was willing to share her deepest feelings and he too was willing to claim her for his own.
Solona was still a little anxious, but she decided that she would not let a fear of the unknown govern her existence. Quickly she closed her eyes as tightly as she could and pressed a kiss on Alistair's lips, he took her in his arms and she could feel herself melt away in pure ecstasy. Heart of hearts, Solona was almost certain that even Laylah's happiness could not match what she was feeling right then. She lay in her lover's arms for the rest of the night, showering him with kisses while he could think of nothing else but her. They had found in each other what the rest of the world sought endlessly – completion.
Author Notes: Thank you again for going through this piece and do forgive me for the delay in publishing.
This song, in my opinion, is what represents Alistair's feelings for Solona Amell as in shown in this piece...
Stay - Poets of the Fall (Youtube - .com/watch?v=86Q8HkZ0UTI)
Do review if you feel strongly about it...