AN- Sequel to Suck This, a Twilight semi-parody. It'd help if you read that first, but if not, the only things you really need to know is that Eddie Collins is the human, and Ella Swain is the vampire. The rest you should pick up.

PS. I'm having entirely too much fun with these.

Everything seemed to be on an unrelenting path, soldiering onwards, no matter how many times I tried to slam on the brakes. Sometimes my head seemed to spin with how fast everything was moving.

I wasn't quite sure it happened, but somehow I, Ella Swain, became accepted as Spencer's replacement in the Fawkes Vampire Council. Apparently my appointment was the obvious choice to many of the council members, as it had come to light that I was in fact Spencer's blood fledgling. Yeah, a homicidal maniac had made me, and even though he had been killed and I finally had some answers from the night I was changed, I was only confronted with even more problems. Like trying to maintain some control over the vampire population of Fawkes, or attempting to placate the unseen skinwalker tribe.

And trying to smooth the ruffled feathers of my vampire hunter boyfriend, whose exposure to my blood had him turned into a quasi-immortal. Ladies and gentlemen, he could slice, dice, and still had the same bad attitude.

It was night. I was finishing up a council meeting taking place in the primary school assembly hall, under the guise of a student council, because no one really bothers to join the student council in a small town.

Inez Blackstone, the most senior member of the council despite her little-girl appearance, was watching me gravely as I slipped into my coat. It was raining out; a strange occurrence in the dry and dusty little town of Fawkes.

"You have plans." Inez said. It wasn't a question.

I often puzzled the other senior members of the council with my behaviour. Most other vampires begin to lose touch with their humanity within a week of being sired, but as my sire abandoned me and as I happened to be extremely inebriated at the time, I had no memory of even being bitten.

My body was vampire, but my mind was still human.

"Yeah."

"With Edward?"

"Yeah."

I was almost at the door when she spoke again. "This is going to ruin you both. You know that."

I turned back to her. My eyes were flinty. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

Inez sighed, and her eyes were sad with wisdom gleaned from hundreds of years of darkness and suffering.

"You must understand why I speak thus."

"Don't give me the whole mortality speech, Inez. It's getting old fast."

The little girl glided over the polished wooden floorboards and grasped my sleeve, looking up into my face earnestly.

"I do not try to discourage you from the course you have chosen. I have seen that you will not be easily dissuaded." I looked down at her suspiciously.

"How do you imagine that this will end well? I ask you, see yourself as you will be two hundred or more years from now, having watched everything around you perish, cold and calculating, that which makes you Ella Swain scoured away by time until all that is left is the vampire."

"Inez, please..."

"Edward as he will be by then, beginning to age, bitter, having watched all those he has come to love die around him. As much as you are the vampire, he has truly become the hunter, because that is all he has left. The feelings that had once burned so brightly for you have turned inwards and twisted upon themselves, and so he feels no more love for you than resentment and hate that you have, in your own way, taken the rest of his life from him."

"Stop it!" I wrenched my arm from her grip, which was the rough equivalent of ripping my wrist from a stone. I didn't realise it, but I was reflectively taking long, measured breaths through my nose even though I really didn't need to.

"You don't know anything!"

"Do you think you are the first vampire to have ruined their whole existence for the sake of some human?" Inez demanded. "I have watched this happen before. I have watched countless lives torn apart because of one foolish mistake!"

"Don't call him a mistake."

"I didn't call him a mistake." Inez replied dryly, and I pretended to not see the subtext. "I just hope when it is time that you are strong enough to make the right decision."

The next day I was eighteen years old. Well, numerically at least. Biologically, I would forever remain seventeen. In an absurd kind of way, I was pleased that I wouldn't ever have to worry about sagging or grey hairs.

Dad bought me a digital camera and the computer software that I had wanted, with the condition that I teach him how to use the new computer network at the police station. I didn't hear from my mum, nor had I really expected to.

Eddie's truck was parked in its usual spot when I got to the school. The family had been absent from Fawkes for the last few days, and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know why. Anyway, if it directly pertained to me, Eddie, Alice, or one of the others would have called me by now.

Somehow I had become the eyes and ears of Fawkes.

Emmett and Eddie were sitting on a massive toolbox lashed to the bed of the truck, conversing quietly. It took me by surprise as I had been told that only Eddie would be at the assembly today to collect his family's Higher School Certificate documents and other awards. He'd joked that he'd need a couple of sacks to lug home all Emmett's sporting trophies.

Emmett and Rosalie were a year older than the rest of us, and it had always struck me as strange why they mysteriously missed their first year of high school.

As I approached, Emmett pointed me out to Eddie and they both sprang easily down from the truck. Eddie was in jeans and his school jersey, while Emmett wore shorts and thongs.

I guessed he wasn't staying long.

"Hey, sexy lady," Emmett greeted me boisterously, his hand snaking out and snatching a ball of fluff from my own jersey.

"Thanks." I said. "Do you want Rosalie to kill you?"

"It'll just be our little secret, sugar." He blew me a kiss, which I pretended to catch in my hand, grinning. Eddie shook his head despairingly, in that everyone's-insane-but-me way of his.

"What about this one, then?"I asked, sliding my arm around Eddie's waist, my hand settling comfortably in a back pocket. "Do we off him?"

"Him?" Emmett eyed his brother. "What's he going to do? Angst me to death?"

The bell rang, and after a minute or two, people began to head to the multipurpose hall. Emmett walked some of the way with us on the other side of me, an arm casually slung around my neck. Ed and I were about to join the other graduated seniors when his brother suddenly sprung something on me that almost made me fall over.

"So, Rosalie wants you to be one of her bridesmaids." He said casually.

It took a minute before I could think up a witty reply. "Did her first choice put on ten pounds after they'd already bought the dresses?" I frowned.

"I think she wants to bury the hatchet," Eddie said softly, his breath stirring my hair.

"Yeah. Right between my eyes." I said sarcastically.

Emmett grinned. "I'm sure I'll see you at the house after." I knew which house he was talking about. Before Eddie could protest, he lent forward and kissed me on the cheek.

"Happy birthday."

Chuck was used to me disappearing over to the Collins', and although he didn't entirely approve, he reluctantly had to admit that there were worse things I could have been getting up to. In a way it comforted him that I was spending time with Esme Collins, as I had never really had a mother figure before.

That night, as Alice and I dressed for prom night, Rosalie filled us in on her wedding plans. Her animosity for me had temporarily faded as she gravely informed me how I was to stand, how I was to walk, what I was to wear, and how my hair was to be styled.

After that was done, it was all about the formal again. Alice and I decided that if Jasper and Eddie really didn't want to go, like Eddie kept insisting he didn't, the pair of us were going stag anyway. I stood as still as I could as Alice tied me into my dress and Esme twisted my hair into an elegant knot on the back of my head. I felt like a new toy whose novelty hadn't worn off yet.

Finally I stood gaping in front of the mirror, wondering what the hell happened to the tough, slightly-scary-looking latchkey kid I had been. Rosalie nodded at my image approvingly, clearly rating my chances of messing up her wedding photos.

Alice fiddled with the back of my skirt, making sure it hung right. She was wearing a black slinky number which ended several inches above her knees. With her pale skin, slicked-back hair and red painted lips, I momentarily wondered who was the vamp.

Following her lead, we pranced down the stairs and then threw little poses when we reached the landing. Suddenly Eddie lost interest in the busty girl on the TV and Jasper fumbled his book, dropping it to the ground.

"Well, babe, we better get going," I said to Alice as she puckered her lips at me.

It was amazing how quickly those two males got up off the couch.

"Are you sure you're not coming?" Alice asked Emmett.

"Nah." Emmett was still watching the television, Rosalie nestled between his legs. "Might crash it later, though."

"Bring alcohol,"

"Yes, ma'am."

We went in Eddie's truck. I didn't realise until we were almost at the school that this was the first time he had driven me anywhere in the truck. I looked at him as he watched the road ahead of us. He didn't have enough time for a shower, so he'd slapped on some of my favourite spicy cologne and rolled into a spare tuxedo I'd found secreted at the back of his wardrobe. His hair was gel-free and fell in natural waves over his brow, and a bit of stubble gave him a rakish look.

"That was a rotten trick," He grumped at me as he pulled into the carpark.

I smiled winningly. "You're just a pervert who wants to see two hot girls make out."

Eddie tried to remain serious, but his expression crumbled. "You're impossible."

"And you love it."

The multipurpose hall was decorated with paper flowers and actual ribbon-festooned arches. I gripped Eddie's arm as his eyes danced around the hall. "What are you looking for?"

"Cataloguing exits in case of an attack by zombie cheerleaders or a serial killer." He said flatly. I had to concede that I too was reminded of many prom night slasher flicks.

"Killjoy." I hissed.

"I can't dance." He protested weakly.

"I'll show you." I dragged him on to the floor. "The main thing you need is body control, which you have in spades. Follow my lead."

I was pleased to say that after an hour, my foot was only stepped on twice. Then for some reason, Eddie stopped. I followed his gaze.

Jack Black was hovering by the doors, looking uncomfortable. When he saw me looking, he gestured for me to come outside for a minute. I cast a look at Eddie, who shrugged.

"See what he wants."

And so I lifted my skirt over my ankles and wove my way through the dancers until reaching the door and Jack. "Hi."

"Hi."

"What's up?"

Jack looked awkward, and tugged at his uneven tie. "Well, my dad kind of paid me to come to your prom."

My eyebrows rose. "O...kay."

"My dad kind of... wants you to break up with your boyfriend."

"O...kay." I said again. Despite myself, I was curious. "Did he tell you why?"

"It's a little... weird."

I laughed. "Jack, you've seen the real me. Me and weird are best mates."

Jack looked a little better. "He said that Eddie's dangerous. Or rather he will be dangerous. He says something bad is going to happen and you need to be ready, because you don't know what you've done. Or something along those lines."

It was so ridiculous that I almost started laughing again. "Well, tell him thanks, but I think that I can probably handle myself."

"That's what I said." I heard a new song start up behind me, a Bon Jovi song. Dateline early Sunday morning, shots ring out without a warning, no one seems to even blink in this town... "But you know dads..."

"Yeah, I know. You better make sure that he pays you."

With a wave, Jack vanished off school grounds and I was the one hovering in the doorway. Suddenly I remembered talking with Inez and her morbid vision of the future for me and Eddie. No one I spoke to could tell me exactly what my blood would do to Eddie's system, his mind.

I didn't call him a mistake, Inez had said. Did that mean I was the mistake? The vampire who didn't know how to be a vampire? The vampire, who, instead of letting a vampire hunter die, had ripped open her own skin and changed him into something that wasn't quite human or supernatural?

Alice had a vision of him being like me, but not like me.

I stood in the door until I felt Eddie's hands creeping around my waist. "Are you alright?" He whispered.

I disentangled myself from him, my face expressionless. And I knew that I had no idea what would happen to Eddie because of me, and I knew that I was too close to see the signs of madness.

It was amazing how much could change in the blink of an eye.

"Ella?" His dark blue eyes were filled with love and concern, and I fought not to let those emotions overwhelm me.

"I have to go." I said softly.

"Sure. I'll get the truck, and-"

"I mean I have to go." This time he caught my meaning, and something in his face changed. "I just..." How could I hope to explain what I felt? That I had made a mistake by saving his life? "I need to... find out who I am." It sounded lame, even to me.

"I'm no good for you."

"You're right." He agreed. "But I don't care."

"Maybe not now." I turned and softly touched his face. "Not yet. Sooner or later you'll start hating me for what I did, and the thing that makes you the amazing, sweet guy that you are will break. And it'll be my fault. I can't watch that." I stepped away. "I need to find out how to make things right."

And before he could say anything else, I ran down the steps.

I needed to go somewhere. To get away.

It was early next morning when I shook my dad awake and informed him that in half an hour I would be on a plane to Italy.

I didn't realise until later what a bad idea that was.