A/N: Hi. I haven't written Jogan in a while. But I wanted fluff, with just a tad bit of angst, just because.
Disclaimer: These characters were created by CP Coulter. Who isn't me. Therefore, I don't own them. Oh. And I'm not RIB either, so Glee isn't mine.
"I think I'm going to throw up," Logan mumbles, to no one in particular.
He positions himself in front of his bedroom mirror, and re-knots his tie for what must be the twelfth time that morning. He gazes down at his work, eyes it skeptically before he groans. He roughly unties the knot he's just done, and throws the tie on the floor in defeat. Then the blond stalks towards his bed, and takes a seat. He rests his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands, before he takes a deep breath.
In and out. In and out.
"You ready for this, Lo?"
Logan whips his head around at the sound of his voice, and sees Julian leaning on the door frame, an amused smirk forming on his lips.
"Obviously," Logan replies irritably. He turns away from the actor to glare at the blue and red tie lying near his left foot.
Julian rolls his eyes. "At least dress for the occasion, you prick."
"That thing," the prefect begins sourly, "refused to cooperate with me!"
Between Julian making his way across the room and picking up the tie, Logan's pretty sure he missed another eye roll.
"Well, get up," the brunet says.
Logan scowls up at him, but he stands up anyway.
Julian smirks at him again, eyes alight with victory, and he places the tie around Logan's neck. He even hums contentedly as he fixes the tie, a song that sounds annoyingly like one of that Clark boy's hits, but his fingers work relatively quickly. Once he's done, he takes one of Logan's hands in his own, and leads them towards the mirror.
"Now doesn't that look nice?" Julian says.
Logan isn't sure if the brunet's talking about his handiwork or something else entirely, so he says nothing.
"Come on," Julian continues. "The freshmen won't take it so nicely if you insist on being surly when you meet them."
"Yeah," Logan says dryly. "And what does that mean to me, exactly?"
The actor sighs. "Nothing, I guess."
"Damn straight," Logan replies stubbornly. "But we should go. Murdoch won't appreciate it if we're both late."
Julian snorts. "You more than me, prefect."
"Whatever, diva."
Logan rolls his eyes walks on ahead, leaving Julian to follow in his wake. His hand's outstretched, ready to reach the doorknob when the brunet calls out to him.
"Lo?"
Surprised, Logan turns around. Julian grins at him, his hands casually in his pocket, but the way he's looking at him gives Logan a tugging feeling in his gut that he doesn't want to think about.
"Yeah?" he says quickly.
"You'll do fine," Julian replies, his tone almost encouraging. And then he raises his eyebrow in a way that, Logan knows, means that Julian's up to no good. "No one's going to set the art room on fire this year. Probably."
"All right then," the prefect replies dumbly, because he can't think of anything else to say. Instead, he simply adds a quick nod that isn't any less stupid, and leads the way out, trying to walk steady, as if he's not worried that things are going to blow up in his face like they always do.
&.&.&
The thing is, two weeks into the new school year, one of the big trees near Stuart does go up in flames.
Logan sees the flames from his bedroom window, and he's quick to run out of the building, with Derek trailing along behind him.
When the two arrive at the scene, a hose is shoved roughly into Logan's hands. As he and Derek start putting out the fire, the blond can see the Brightman twins running around the area, passing out hoses, and screaming quick apologies to anyone who will listen.
Once most of the fire has gone out, and the cackling of the flames isn't so loud, Logan can hear Blaine screaming at the twins over on the other side. The Windsor prefect is mad, as he should be, but the Tweedles are so genuinely apologetic—
("We just wanted to brighten up the place, Blaine!"
"It's not our fault—"
"That the light bulbs started to explode!"
"Too much voltage, we think…")
—that Logan almost doesn't yell at them. Almost.
But Julian isn't there, isn't down with him or Derek. He probably shut himself in his room at the sight of all the flames, and that thought alone—of Julian stuck in his room, wracked with guilt again over something that isn't his fucking fault—is enough to send Logan marching up to the twins and giving them, and everyone else within a ten foot range, a fucking earful.
Afterwards, Logan marches his way back to Stuart house, and only sees the actor when he comes out of his hiding place in the wee hours of the morning.
"You're not supposed to be up this late," Logan says over his shoulder. He's sitting on his work chair, hunched over his desk.
Julian comes in anyway, and manages to fit the coffee and donuts he brought on the free space Logan has on his table.
"You yell at people for me," the brunet begins, as he takes a seat across Logan, "I come bearing gifts. Now, they're not as fabulous as you'd expect…"
Logan eyes the food but he doesn't thank him. He can't. He doesn't have the words. Instead, he impulsively kisses Julian and thinks, hopes that it has the same effect.
&.&.&
It doesn't come up after that.
Sometimes, Logan will steal a quick peck here and there, and the two of them will share something short and sweet, but they're not really doing anything with it. Surprisingly, the only person who isn't all right with that is Derek.
"You two are going out now, right?" the athlete asks, because he knows. Of course he knows.
"No," Logan says quickly. Honestly. "Not exactly."
"God, Lo," Derek snorts. "You'd think that after last year…"
"What?" the blond snaps.
"It's kind of amazing, you know," Derek says instead. "How this shit isn't getting any better. Like, I've never seen anything as messed up as this. Ever."
And for some reason, Logan can't look at him after that.
Because he doesn't necessarily think it's wrong. He and Julian don't treat each other any differently, and they don't hold hands, and they don't hold each other's gaze longer than necessary like Kurt and Blaine do. Like he and Blaine used to.
But then one day he sees Julian in the library, staring blankly at the book in his hands. And suddenly Logan realizes that Julian's avoiding him on purpose because, well—Logan is Logan. He is loud, and rash, and he uninhibitedly pursues people.
So he walks over to Julian's table and grabs the actor's hand. He ignores the surprised sound that comes out of Julian's mouth, and takes him out to dinner—to a place that's very light, nothing too over the top. They still bicker over what to have, over who gets to pay, but they also have desert and coffee afterwards, and Logan smiles to himself as he watches Julian drown his coffee in cream and sugar.
&.&.&
"You're going to kill yourself, Jules!"
Derek's been warning him for the last half hour, and Logan can't really say that he blames him. The brunet's standing on a table, forChrist'ssake, and juggling at least six colorful balls simultaneously.
"How many times do I have to tell you," Julian calls back irritably. "It's for a role!"
"You've been in your fair share of stupid roles, Jules, but this has got to be the worst of them all!" Derek shouts. "Now get off the damn table!"
"Just—a couple more—balls," Julian replies, biting his bottom lip in concentration. "Mind handing me—another one?"
Logan smirks as Derek runs a hand down his face. "Watch him for me?"
"What?" Derek cries incredulously. "He's your—!" Only the Stuart isn't exactly sure how to end that sentence, so he switches to, "Why can't you watch him?"
"Prefect duties," Logan shrugs. He turns away from Derek's scowl to give Julian a small smile, and he doesn't even wait for him to return it before he turns to go.
Around a quarter of an hour later, though, Logan hears a loud thud! and the unmistakable sound of a few balls hitting the floor.
Piles of paperwork are suddenly left forgotten on his table, and the blond reaches Julian's room just as Derek begins his tirade. When Derek pauses to suck in a breath, Logan promptly takes his cue and berates Julian as well.
However, after Derek leaves, Logan walks into the room and helps Julian up off the floor, and stays long enough to clean up the mess.
"I nailed it though," Julian grins, once everything's been put away. "Just before the damn table betrayed me. Ten balls!"
"Good thing, too," Logan says seriously. "Because you're never doing that again." And then he lightly punches the actor on the shoulder.
"Ow, fuck!" Julian cries out indignantly, but he laughs.
Logan laughs harder, and, he can't help it, he leans in and kisses the pout off of Julian's mouth, because he's just so damn stubborn.
&.&.&
There's a night that comes when Julian doesn't come to Logan's room with food and coffee. Perhaps it's the fact that he didn't see the brunet much after dinner, or that he's grown accustomed to having Julian sit on the empty stool across him when he works that makes him so worried. Either way, Logan walks out of his room to check up on him.
The blond tiptoes his way across the hall, and carefully pushes Julian's door open, keeping silent in case the actor is asleep.
He isn't.
Julian has his knees pulled up against his chest, his head buried in his hands. His shoulders are slumped, and his entire body is wracked with heavy sobs.
This must be what happens when the smoke finally clears, Logan thinks dejectedly, as he looks at the ruins in front of him. Seeing Julian like this, the way he's trying to choke back his sobs, the way he's keeping his head down so that he hides his tears, it reminds him—.
It reminds Logan of the funeral, and the way he stood between Derek and Julian. How their hands in his were the only things that prevented him from breaking. It reminds him of his time at the hospital, and the horrible smell of blood and antiseptic. It reminds him of the fire.
It reminds Logan of a lot of things, but ultimately, ultimately, it reminds Logan of how far he's come, of how much he's achieved. And Logan realizes that things might actually be okay again, if Julian is there to put together what's left of him, too.
Suddenly, Julian looks up at him, sharp and fast.
And Logan falters at the depths of all the sadness and pain he sees in those eyes, before Julian decidedly looks away.
"What're you doing here?"
"I…" Logan clears his throat. "I missed your not-exactly-fabulous gifts."
"My gifts, huh?" Julian answers bitterly.
The blond nods his head. "Yes."
A pause.
"And you."
"What about me?" Julian snaps. He furiously rubs at his eyes, looks up at the prefect, and fixes him a half-assed scowl.
"What I mean is," Logan breathes evenly, "I missed you." And then he walks towards the actor's bed and climbs in next to him.
After that night, Logan starts sleeping in Julian's bed when he thinks he can get away with it. He finds out a few things, like how Julian cries out in his sleep because of nightmares he never told anyone about, and that Julian will calm down more quickly and make contented little noises when he leaves kisses around his neck.
They actually kiss a lot more now, and Logan will suddenly reach out for Julian's hand when they're studying together, but they still try to be discreet about the whole thing. They don't really talk about it, about what they're doing, but Logan knows they're a couple, and Derek knows they're a couple, and someday…
Well, someday Logan's going to tell Julian that he loves him.