The Day We Met
An Invader Zim Fanfic by KidKourage
Oooooo, Flashback! Let's Get All Nostalgic!
Greetings, fellow earth monkeys! Ever wonder how exactly KidK came to be an integral part of the lives of your favorite IZ characters (who belong to the almighty Jhonen, by the way)? In other words, have you ever asked yourself, 'How did that crazy girl ever get herself involved with Zim and Dib and Gir and Gaz in the first place?' Of course you haven't. But I did, and so I wrote this. Finally, the greatest mystery of the universe will be explained, and no, I don't mean 'why are we here.' Oh, and look at the title. Remind anyone of a certain 'Tenchi in Tokyo' episode?
The scene is KidK's house! We haven't gone into flashback mode yet, so it's summer 2001, sometime in late July. KidK and all her friends (well, except for Johnny, who is off having his own brand of fun) have just returned from a wonderful trip to the Cherry Hill mall.
Mike-the-Brother (gleefully leaping through the door): Oh, I can't wait to try out my new Game Boy Advance!
Gaz: Yeah, you finally got enough money to buy one…so now we can really battle.
Mike-the-Brother: With my new larger screen and better graphics, how can I lose?
Dib: Same way you always lose, Mike.
Zim: Yes, Dib, and that's the same way in which you always lose to me!
Dib: Are you kidding? When have I ever lost anything to you?
KidK (stepping inside): Geez, two seconds alone and already you're all fighting! You guys really do need me to be your babysitter, don't you?
Mike-the-Brother: Who are you calling a baby, Miss I-Fear-The-Invisible-Closet-Monster?
KidK: If you had a horrible beast in your closet, you'd be scared too! (she catches herself) Oh, man, your antagonistic energy is contagious!
Zim: You mean like a germ? Well fear not, KidK! I shall vanquish this evil infection with my lemony fresh spray…stuff! Er, once I go get it from the kitchen, that is.
Dib: Zim, you poor idiot. She was being metaphorical.
Zim: Ohhhhh. One of your human (air quotes) 'idioms,' yes?
KidK: Yes.
Zim: You monkeys and your confusing ways of saying things…It was such a brilliant idea of mine to come and live with an actual human, to become more educated in the ways of your insane race. To discover…weaknesses.
Mike-the-Brother: If I remember correctly, you live here because Gir burned your house down, not because you think it's a good idea. Come to think of it, where is Gir?
Gir (from outside): I see you, chipmunk! Where are you hiding my walnuts? Hey, come back and play with me!
KidK (laughing): Well, I'd have to say that even though you and Gir have lived with me a while, you haven't changed a bit from when I first met you!
Mike-the-Brother: When was that, anyway? You never really told me.
Gaz: All I remember is Dib bringing KidK home with him and them guzzling all my Minute Maid orange soda. I never did pay you back for that, did I?
Dib (nervously): Oh, yeah, you did. Remember? (he thinks up a good lie) You disconnected the cable so I couldn't watch 'Mysterious Mysteries.'
Gaz (suspiciously): Well, I don't remember it, but that sounds like the kind of torture you deserved to have inflicted on you.
Zim (to KidK): You went home with the Dib-monkey?
KidK: Yeah, don't you remember? He wanted to show me his lab and stuff. If you recall, we were friends from the start, while you decided to be a hard case.
Mike-the-Brother: So how exactly did this all happen?
KidK: Well…I'll tell you! (Oooo, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' ref!)
Gir (running in): Got the walnuts! That naughty chipmunk! (he notices KidK's declamatory posture) Oooo, story time?
KidK: Yeah, pull up a…well, just sit on the floor. (she looks dreamy) I remember it as if it was only yesterday…
And you know that line always produces a flashback! So watch as everything gets all wobbly and spinny and then thrill as the scene changes to Holy Cross High Skool, cerca March 2001! A skool bus pulls up in front of the building and a swarm of unruly kids gets out. You know who they are. They're followed by the shadowy form of Miz Bitters.
Miz Bitters: Now, you worthless doomed children, you will view the first performance of the Holy Cross Spring Musical. It's stupid and pointless, but then so are you all. Make sure you watch carefully and take notes—you will be quizzed on its plot and themes and how they relate to postmodern society!
With that, she disappears in her usual snakey manner. The kids think they're free and start cheering, but they are soon interrupted by a plump, middle-aged woman who comes out of the main office and marches down the hall to the group standing in front of the auditorium (at HC, the auditorium is right inside the main doors). Please take note that names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Mrs. Combs: Oh, are you the class from the elementary Skool?
Zita: Yeah.
Mrs. Combs: Well, please go in and sit down in the front middle area of chairs. Leave spaces after every five children, because there will be student chaperones monitoring you. We can't spare the teachers, and who knows what mischief you might get into unattended. Anyway, sit still and be quiet during the Musical. Our kids have worked very hard on it and this is their first performance.
The Letter M: Is it boring?
Mrs. Combs: No, of course not! You're not coming to Holy Cross in a few years, are you?
The Letter M: Naw, my parents say they (his eyes glaze over as he recites) 'can't afford to pay for the unnecessarily high tuition only to have me indoctrinated with beliefs that aren't my own.'
Mrs. Combs: Good. We don't need your kind here.
With that, she stomps away, leaving the children to go find their seats in the auditorium. Let me 'splain somethin' for ya. Every year, HC puts on a musical. They do performances at night on the weekend, but their first show is for senior citizens and elementary skool kids the Wednesday before. That Wednesday is a good day for HC students, because they get to go home at noon. But the children visiting from other skools don't have it so lucky…they hafta watch the show. Anyway, the kids do as they're told and leave spaces for chaperones.
Zim (looking around critically): Well, this place is certainly representative of human lack of taste.
Dib (on the other side of the empty seat next to Zim): You'd better not try to destroy anything, Zim. I've got my eye on you.
Zim: Why would I bother? This…skool…is horrible enough already!
Mrs. Combs reappears, with four teenagers trailing after her. One looks quite like a younger, slightly thinner version of Mrs. Combs. She giggles and gossips with a (dyed) blonde girl with a scarily short skirt. Then comes a nerdy looking boy, followed at last by a (real) blonde girl with glasses and a regulation-length skirt.
Mrs. Combs: Here are your chaperones, children. They're from the National Honor Society, so talk to them and maybe you'll learn something. Especially from my lovely youngest daughter Courtney!
Courtney (all fake modest): Oh, Mommy, you mustn't say such things…
Mrs. Combs: Why don't you all introduce yourselves, students?
Courtney: Well, you all already know who I am.
Michael Parks (remember him?): Hi I'm Michael! But you can call me 'First In The Class!'
Mrs. Combs (jealously): Now, Michael, you know you're in a tie…
Courtney: Yeah, Mike, stop gloating, it's so unattractive! (ew, pukey)
Cindy Wolkowski: I'm Cindy! Teehee, I play soccer!
Dib: How did she get in Honor Society?
Zim: Merely more proof that you pathetic apes are stupid—even your smartest offspring are drooling morons!
KidK (quietly): Hallo. I'm—
Mrs. Combs: OK, so please sit down in the empty seats. Remember, you're representing your skool, so make sure to tell all the younguns about the great times you have at Holy Cross. Enjoy the show! (with that, she exits)
Dib: Ugh, I hope that Cindy girl doesn't sit by me.
Zim: Anything would be better than looking at you the whole time.
KidK: Is this seat taken?
Dib (relieved she's not Cindy): No, go ahead. Um, I didn't catch your name…?
KidK (timidly): Just call me 'KidK.' It's my nickname.
Dib: Okay. I'm Dib. So, how do you like Holy Cross? I mean, since you're supposed to be telling us and all…
KidK: It's alright, I suppose. I mean, it's a Catholic skool, so they focus on a religion that's not my religion, but on the whole I guess it could be worse.
Courtney (turning around in her seat): Oh, silly! You shouldn't say things like that when you know that Holy Cross is the finest in education! Shame on you!
Dib: Excuse me, was I talking to you? If I want to hear the opinion of someone whose Mom works here, I'll be sure to ask you. But right now I want an honest assessment.
Courtney: Hmph. Pompous uppity grade skool kids think they know everything!
KidK (amazed): Wow, Dib! Nobody stands up to Courtney Combs! You know, maybe we should be friends. At least for this afternoon.
Dib: Sounds fine to me! Hey, since we're friends now I'll let you in on something. See that kid sitting on your right? He's an alien.
KidK (regarding Zim): Yeah, I can kinda see that.
Zim (outraged): Puny human female! I am a perfectly normal worm baby just like you!
KidK: Oh, sure, that's why you just said 'human female.'
Zim: Aargh! You stupid monkeys!
KidK: I'll ignore that. So, green kid, what's your name?
Zim: You may call me 'Future Master of the Universe the Supreme Conquerer Zim!'
KidK: Zim, eh? Well, Zim, how do you like earth so far?
Zim: It's a disgusting ball of dirt.
KidK: Ha! Gotcha!
Dib: Wahahahahaaaa! The future master of the universe thwarted by a teenage girl!
KidK: Anyway, Zim, I like your style. You wanna be my musical friend too?
Zim: Not on your life, beast child.
KidK: Fine for you then.
Dib: So, KidK, when does this thing start, anyway?
KidK: Right now, I think.
The opening music begins playing. The musical is 'Guys and Dolls.' Yes, they really did let this play at a Catholic skool. I suppose gambling and dancing girls conform to church dogma now? At any rate, the teenage actors stumble around onstage and the first scene begins. Unfortunately, the kids' microphones are turned up way too loud.
Zim: Aaaaak! Are you trying to kill us all?!
KidK: You've got something there, Zim.
Dib: I wonder if they'll fix it…
KidK: You know what'll happen? The sound people will try to fix it, but then they'll accidentally turn the mics off completely.
This is exactly what occurs.
Dib (straining to hear): What did he say his name was? Rusty Charlie?
KidK: This is the one musical that my Mom doesn't own the CD of, so I don't know.
Dib: Well, I think he's saying something about a horse.
KidK: A horse? What is this about?
Eventually, they get the sound problem worked out. But then something really scary happens.
Dib: OK, now I'm confused. What do girls in skimpy outfits have to do with anything?
KidK: Ah, my poor naïve young friend…don't you know that girls in skimpy outfits have to do with everything nowadays?
Dib: Heh. What are they doing with those canes?
KidK: Erm…you don't want to know.
After a couple of long, torturous hours, the musical is over. Mrs. Combs reappears to give the four chaperones their service hour letters (HC has a community service requirement—25 hours for seniors!). Miz Bitters hasn't manifested herself yet, so the kids are just standing around talking.
KidK: What time is it now? 1:45 already? Man, I wish I could've left with everyone else…are you guys all going back to skool, then?
Dib: Yeah, we have to go back, but then we're getting dismissed early anyway because we had a half day too, technically. Our class is just so lucky and got to come here.
KidK: Well, you want to blow this joint right now and not wait for the bus? I can drive you home in my car.
Dib: Really? You'd do that? But we barely know each other!
KidK: Yeah, well, I don't make friends so easily. It's mostly cuz I don't conform to trends. So since you were so nice and agreed to actually talk to me for a while, I may as well pay you back somehow.
Dib: Cool! Hey, Zim, have fun on the bus.
Zim: Where are you going, Dib-monkey?
Dib: Home. KidK's taking me.
Zim: Well, just don't think that she's going to be any help to you against me or anything. I will not be defeated!
Dib: Sure, whatever.
KidK and Dib go out to KidK's awesome green car! Dib marvels at its glory for a sufficiently polite amount of time, and then KidK drives him home.
Dib: Well, this is it. Hey, want to come in for a minute? I'll show you my laboratory.
KidK: Your laboratory?
Dib: Yeah, I use it to study paranormal phenomena and, lately, to invent brilliant devices to use against that conquering alien Zim.
KidK: Gosh, you must be really smart! Sure I'll come and see it! I'm not really a science person myself, but I think it's really cool to be able to make stuff.
They go into the Membrane house, where Gaz is sitting on the couch enjoying a lovely game of Tetris. She's at such a high level now that you can barely see the little cubes falling anymore.
Dib: Hey, Gaz, meet my new friend KidK.
Gaz: Shut up! I don't care about your stupid friend! Anyway, you'll probably be telling me she's a yeti by the end of the day! So just go away and leave me alone!
Dib: Er, yeah. KidK, that's my sister Gaz.
KidK: And what a charming young lady she is.
Dib: Want a drink before we go downstairs?
KidK: What kinda drinks you got? (she's quoting Gir and hasn't even met him yet…weird)
Dib (going out to the kitchen): Well…let's see…looks like there's some orange soda left.
KidK: Score! Next to cherry brainfreezys, orange soda's my favorite!
The two new companions enjoy a tall, cool glass of orange soda, then go down to Dib's lab, where KidK is rightfully astounded by all the gizmos and stuff. Presently, however, there's a loud banging on the door.
Gaz: Dib! What did you do with my orange soda?!
Dib: Uh ohhhhh…
KidK: Oh, Gaz, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was yours! Here…(she fishes around in her pocket) I'll give you $5 to replace it.
Gaz: Well, Dib, at least your friend knows what's good for her. Now I guess I don't need to destroy you…for now.
Flash Forward Mode! We're back in KidK's livingroom!
Gaz: Oh, so that's what happened. I didn't remember about the five bucks.
Mike-the-Brother: You like Tetris? That's like the one thing I won't play.
Gaz: I don't like it, really. But it was a game that had to be beaten, and so I did it.
KidK: Gaz—girl on a mission.
Zim: KidK! You've been inside Dib's base of operations! (conspiratorially) So now you can tell me all his secrets…
Gir: *sniff* I missed the musical…I want to see it!
Dib: No you don't.
KidK: Sometime we'll rent the movie version, OK? Ol' Frank Sinatra's bound to be better than that ugly kid from skool…
Gir: Yeah!
KidK's Mom (emerging from the kitchen): Would any of you kids like a snack? I made chocolate chip cookies…and I tried this really old recipe I found in the box too. They're called 'macaroons.'
Mike-the-Brother: What's in 'em?
KidK's Mom: Well, they're covered in coconut and have a cherry in the middle.
Mike-the-Brother: Eeew, coconut! And cherry! Blech! Gimme a chocolate chip.
KidK's Mom (withholding the plate): What do you say…?
Mike-the-Brother: Please gimme a chocolate chip.
KidK's Mom: That's better.
She hands the plate to Mike to pass around. Suddenly, everyone looks up as they hear a desperate scream from outside, then rapid footsteps, followed by a heavy pounding on the front door.
KidK's Mom: Now who can that be? I hope it's not your father coming home because he forgot his ID card…(he works for the guhvermint)
The knocking gets even louder, and KidK's Mom goes down to answer the door. She opens it to find a rather scraggly-looking young man with a really dangerous looking pair of boots cowering on the porch. He dives through the door and hides behind KidK's Mom, screeching all the while.
'Nny: You gotta help me, Missy! The squirrels! They're spying on me! I was just walking, and they were looking at me! So I ran, and they chased me! Oh, the horror! They know, I swear it! They knowwww! (he looks up at the woman whose legs he's clutching and suddenly changes mood completely) Oh, hello. You're not Missy…
KidK's Mom: Who do you think you are, coming in here like this?!
KidK (running down the stairs to the landing): Oh, 'Nny, are you OK?
'Nny: There you are…yeah, I'm alright now. You don't have any squirrels in here, do you?
KidK: Well, to know that for sure I'm gonna have to ask Zim. (yelling up to Zim) Are there any squirrels in the house today, Zimmy?
Zim: No, I abandoned that experiment weeks ago, when I found out that they don't conduct photon beams as well as I thought they would.
KidK: Good. (to 'Nny) Now I can safely say that we have no bushy-tailed rodents on the premises.
'Nny: …They hate me, you know. Always looking at me with their little black eyes…
KidK's Mom: Missy, are you going to tell me who this person is?
KidK: Oh, yeah, I forgot. Mom, this is Johnny. Johnny, Mom.
'Nny: Wow, Missy's mother! May I say that you've done a wonderful job raising your daughter to be one of very few truly good people amongst the throngs of painfully simple-minded and cliquish jerks that plague our world? (note: his opinion of KidK, not mine)
KidK's Mom (suspiciously): You may, as long as you make sure your boots are clean before you come upstairs. (she goes back to the kitchen, thinking) God…first aliens and robots and kids obsessed with Bigfoot and now creepy twentysomethings with squirrel problems…what am I going to do with that girl…?
KidK (coming back upstairs): Hey, look who's here, guys!
Gir: Yay! It's Johnneeeeee!
'Nny: The gang's all here, eh? What're you doing?
KidK: I was just telling the story of how we all met. And we were eating cookies too. Want one? Look, they've even got cherries.
'Nny: Nice. I'll take one for the road.
KidK: Aw, you're not staying?
'Nny: Well, now that the squirrels are gone, I was going to go back to what I was doing.
KidK: And what was that?
'Nny: You know that post office in the next little town over?
KidK: Yeah…
'Nny: Well…yesterday the guy at the counter made some…unkind remarks about me when I went to buy stamps. So…I'm going to make him see what the problem is with that. Anyway…(he lowers his voice) I don't do so well with crowd scenes, you know? I'm not the world's most social person, despite Reverend Meat's best efforts.
KidK (thinking): I'm not even gonna ask what that means… Well, I'm sorry to see you leave so soon, but please take lots of cookies if you want.
'Nny: Thanks. Be seeing you. (he exits)
Dib: Phew, another close one! I thought your Mom was history for sure!
KidK: Dib, try not to be so judgmental. Has he ever threatened any of us?
Dib: Well, he implied that there'd be trouble if we spilled soda on him again…
KidK: Wouldn't you be mad if someone dumped a pitcher of Pepsi on you?
Mike-the-Brother: Watch as KidK stands up for a crazy murderer!
Zim: Yeah, why are you so nice to him?
KidK: Because I…but why should I have to explain myself? Can we please just get back to the story? After I left Dib's place, I came home and did my homework. Then I had to walk to the mailbox to mail some letters for Mom. And that's when I met Gir!
Gir: Woohoo! The story's about me now!
Flashback Mode once again! Now we see Zim and Gir walking down a suburban street lined with trees. Gir is on his leash, since Zim is trying to keep up appearances.
Gir: Where're we goin', Master?
Zim: We are exploring a new area of the neighborhood, Gir, for signs of anything that might be helpful to our mission. The more we know about our surroundings, the better.
Gir: Ooo, is this leaf helpful?
Zim: No.
Gir: Can I have it anyway?
Zim: *sigh* Go ahead.
Just then, Gir notices something colorful off in the distance. As is normal for Gir, he immediately takes off after it, yanking Zim along with him. Upon catching up, he latches onto his object of admiration, which turns out to be a cluster of Tenchi Muyô! keychains hanging off the purse of…guess who.
Gir: I luv you Kiyone! 'The Galaxy Police will never be defeated!'
KidK (startled): Huh? (she looks down at her purse's passenger) What are you? (then she notices Zim) Oh, hey, you're the guy from this afternoon! Zim, right?
Zim: You?!
KidK: Yeah, me. KidK, remember? Is this dog…thing…yours?
Zim: Yes. Gir get off the girl!
KidK: Gir, eh? Well, hallo, sweetie! (she kneels down to face Gir, who is of course extremely cute)
Gir: Hi! (he dances) I'm dancin' like a mongoose!
KidK: Heehee, a mongoose? You silly thing!
Gir (unzipping his head): Want a cupcake?
Zim (smacking his forehead): Gir! You took out your guidance chip again?!
Gir: I was hungryyyy…
Zim: Well now how are we supposed to get home?
KidK: You could try asking me for a ride…I might help you if you say 'please.'
Zim: I don't need help from a monster like you.
Gir: Aw, can't we go with the pretty lady?
KidK: 'Pretty?' Now that's ten thousand times better than 'please!' What do you say, Zim? If you're lost, this town can be a maze…
Zim (exasperated): Oh, fine, which way to your stinking abode?
KidK: Follow me!
Gir: Goody! Hey, lady, let's sing! (singing) Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go!
KidK: You are so cute! But don't call me lady. Call me KidK.
Gir: Okay! (looking at her dreamily) I luv you KidK…
KidK: Well I luv you too. I can tell that we'll all be great friends someday.
Zim: I'm not your friend, nor will I ever be.
KidK: We'll see about that…
Flash Forward Mode!
KidK: And that's it! I took Zim and Gir home, and a few days later Gir showed up here and we played 'Sorry' and 'Ants in the Pants,' and then Zim arrived to collect him and was mad…but Gir came over almost every day anyway…which was how he learned my nickname from Mom…and sometimes I'd invite Dib too! And then there was that one time when I was writing and Dib and Gaz were here, and then Gir came and Zim followed him and then we all had fun! And then there was the whole Wal-Mart thing and…
Mike-the-Brother: OK, you can stop now. I know about that part.
Dib: There's just one thing that confuses me…
Zim: Just one thing?
Dib: Shut up. KidK, I remember you saying that you don't make friends easily. But yet you have all of us! So, why would you say that?
KidK: Because when I said it we all weren't so close! And, in case you didn't notice, I have no friends my own age. I mean, you and Gaz and Mike are definitely younger, 'Nny's definitely older, Zim I have no idea about, and Gir has the mental capacity of a five year old.
Gaz: You think he's that smart?
Zim: Hey, Gir is a special advanced model given to me specially! Anyway, why would you want to hang around with drooling teenage monkey children when you have me?
KidK: And to think you once said we'd never be friends.
Zim: Well…I suppose it's possible for even the most intelligent invader to be wrong once…
Dib: Which explains why you're wrong all the time.
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, good one!
Dib: I've got a million of 'em.
Gaz: Yeah, and I have to hear them all.
The three notice that Zim and KidK aren't paying any attention whatsoever to them.
KidK: But I'm glad you were wrong, Zimmy. Cuz if you had been right we couldn't've had so many great times together. ^_^ I luv you.
Zim: Let's not take it that far…
Dib: Why not? It's obvious you two were meant for each other. Oh, I can't say it without laughing…*snicker*
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah, aren't you adowable? How sweeeeet.
Gir (catching on to this): Come on, group hug!
Gaz: If any of you touch me, there's going to be serious pain in your futures.
And thus the afternoon had a sickening ending punctuated by a threat. What better way to end a story? Well, here's one way, for instance:
KidK's Dad (home from work): I'm home! (he surveys the livingroom and makes the same assessment as 'Nny—'the gang's all here') Hi kids. Hey, LuAnn?
KidK's Mom: Yes, honey?
KidK's Dad: I was just listening to the radio on the way home, and apparently there was some kind of…attack or something at the post office. Somebody came in to mail something and found a bunch of bodies! The news report said that no one in the building was left alive, and that there was no trace left by the killer.
KidK's Mom: That's horrible! Oh, Missy, didn't your little friend with the squirrel-phobia say he was going to the post office? I hope he got out of there OK…
KidK: Ahahaha…right…
KidK's friends give her a *look*, and thus this little flashback-laden thing can end in peace, with no loose ends whatsoever…I think.
The End!