They had found out about his self-harming a few days ago. Ennoshita had seen the marks while he was changing after practice. It was obvious Yamaguchi Tadashi was becoming depressed. He became more distant to everyone, even a bit to Tsukishima. The whole team was worried but they thought it would be better not to mention it, not yet anyway.

Yamaguchi's birthday would be coming up soon. He would be 16. They didn't want to bring up something so heavy right before his birthday.

So the rest of the team began to make a plan...

•••~•••

Ever since starting his second year, Tadashi had been picked on. He wasn't sure why, but he had gotten moved to a different class so now he and Tsukki weren't in the same class anymore. It was almost like elementary school all over again; people teasing him for his freckles, his aloneness, his pushover-pathetic personality, even volleyball. Sometimes they cornered him and stole any money he happened to have on him. Other times, they would just give him a word at how bad he was at volleyball, how he should just quit and go die.

About three weeks into the semester, he started self harming, something he had considered, but never done before. He began to hate himself for everything, every mistake he made. Now, every harsh word from Tsukishima hurt just a little bit more. Every mess-up at practice was just a little more off-putting.

"Nice receive!" Ennoshita called across the court to Kageyama.

"That makes five! Next! Yamaguchi!"

Ennoshita became the captain after the third years had graduated. Yamaguchi walked onto the court and got into position for receives.

The ball flew at him and he swung his arms but missed by an inch.

Shit.

If he couldn't even get the first one right how was he going to get any? The self-deprecating thoughts were starting to mull through his mind again, at the worst times too, like always.

"Don't mind, try again!"

Another ball. This time, he hit it nicely, surprising only himself. He had improved a lot in volleyball but still didn't think very highly of himself.

•••~•••

"Yamaguchi, hurry up. I want to leave." Tsukishima nagged. Lately, Tsukishima had been asking Yamaguchi to walk home with him instead of the other way around. Around the time he had started to self harm, he had begun to tell Tsukishima to just walk home without him. He wouldn't tell why, but it was so he could redo the bandages on his arms. He would be beyond humiliated if anyone from the team saw how weak he was.

"Sorry Tsukki!" Yamaguchi replied in his normal tone, grabbing his bag and jogging to meet Tsukishima at the door. They began walking down the sidewalk in the direction of their houses.

"Hey." Tsukishima said suddenly.

"Yes tsukki?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

Of course it was. Did he think Yamaguchi was so stupid that he didn't know this?

"Yes, it is." Yamaguchi replied matter of factly.

"Meet me tomorrow at Tanaka's house at 4." Tsukishima said, slightly commanding. This was sudden.

"W-why?"

"He's having a party and wants you to come." Tsukki's voice was as emotionless as ever. Did Tanaka really want him to come?

"O-oh. Okay, sure!"

They walked the rest of the way home in silence. Tsukishima congratulated himself in his mind for asking Yamaguchi to his own birthday party so smoothly.

They got to their usual parting point where they split ways.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called as he walked towards his house. He distantly heard Tsukishima grunt in answer behind him.

The sun was setting as he dragged his feet home. The sky was washed in a cascade of reds and pinks and yellows. But somehow the beautiful sunset didn't affect his mood. Sadness echoed through his chest. He wasn't sure why he felt so sad and awful as he walked through the front door, mumbling a quick "I'm home".

"Welcome home Tadashi!" His mother called from the kitchen. He dragged his feet all the way up the stairs to his room and collapsed on the bed after throwing his school bag on the ground.

Echoing in his mind were the words that were said to him that day at lunch.

"Hey, it's Tadashi. Still in that volleyball club!" One of his classmates called as he gathered the things on his desk.

"Yes." He's answered quietly.

"Seriously?" Asked another.

"Why? You suck!"

"I'm surprised they haven't kicked you off the team."

"Do you even try?"

"Please stop I'm need to meet my friend for lunch." Yamaguchi said, standing up. The leader of the little group that liked to gang up on him shoved him harshly back into his seat.

"Come on. Is he really your friend?"

"Maybe he just acts like he likes you."

"You're probably just a bother to him."

"He knows you're pathetic, he just puts up with it because he feels bad for you."

Tadashi is vaguely aware that he's gotten up off the bed and is walking.

"That's not true." Yamaguchi argued, his voice not sounding as confident as he would like.

"How would you know? It's not like he would tell you if he thought that."

Yamaguchi started to think about this. The way Tsukishima always told him to shut up, how he often put on his headphones and ignored Yamaguchi, how, even when they hung out, his attitude seemed cold. He hated himself, but he began to wonder if what they were saying was true. If it was all true.

He saw his reflection in the mirror as he picked up the blade and slowly brought it to his wrist.

Yamaguchi didn't want to deal with these guys anymore.

"I'm going. Now." He said, standing up again. They tried to hold him back but he pulled himself away and ran out of the classroom, hearing them call taunts and jeers after him.

"Pay attention to how that friend of yours acts. It'll prove what I said about him!" One of them called as Yamaguchi ran down the hallway.

No. No no no. Tsukki was his friend. He didn't hate Yamaguchi, surely. Did Tsukki really just put up his him because he pitied him? Now that he thought about it, Tsukki had never actually asked to be friends. Yamaguchi had just started following the blond around after he had been saved from bullying. Maybe he really was just a burden.

"Yamaguchi, shut up."

"Why do you try so hard?"

"It's just a club."

"Seriously, Yamaguchi?"

"Stupid."

"Pathetic."

Blood dripped onto the floor. Red, bleeding marks bore their way into Yamaguchi's arm, almost up to the crease in his elbow. There was a little pool of blood on the floor. Yamaguchi was finally pulled out of the flashback of earlier that day. He felt the pain in his arm, but at the same time, didn't.

He realized tears were on his face and quickly wiped them off. He was exhausted. He threw the blade across the bathroom, not caring where it went, and pulled himself into a ball. He hated himself, so much. Gosh, he was just pathetic.

Distantly hearing his mother calling him for dinner, he stood up shakily, wiping away more tears. After glaring at the freckles on his face in his reflection, he quickly cleaned off his arm and wrapped a bandage around it. He pulled on a sweater and made sure it didn't look like he was crying before trudging down the stairs to dinner.