Forgive and Forget
You think you've had a bad day? I've definitely had worse. I've broken twenty two bones in my line of work, severely injured two people and put one in a coma for god knows how long, and that was before that night. But I never had it as bad as that time. I didn't mean to harm anyone that day, especially not a mother of a young child.
I was a stupid kid back then. Started off nicking stuff from the school canteen and eventually got caught and was expelled. My parents were extremely disappointed in me and eventually even disowned me but I just hated them instead of realizing that I was the one to blame. Yet I still didn't learn from my mistakes. I was persistent, or a more accurate way of saying it, stubborn. I thought the only way to survive was to keep on stealing. This took me through my toughest times and I improved in the art of thievery. My skills eventually caught the attention of the triads and I was running errands for them. They started off as simple 'in and out' tasks but I gained their trust and was quickly put into the big-league, tasked with bringing entire organizations down with some sleight of hand and corporate espionage. I was soon on top of the world, a master thief, but every rise has its downfall. This…was mine.
***15 YEARS AGO***
Adrenaline was pumping through my bloodstream faster than the speed of light as the thunderous booming sound of footsteps trailed behind me. The bright lights of Cyberport blinded me as I ran from the security guards. The blaring sound of the alarm blasted all through Cyberport alerting all guards. And to think that all this was for a flash drive. Sure the flash drive had some important information on it but these guards were fueled by nothing but desperation.
The guards just wouldn't let up. The sound of their footsteps closing in quickly and there was nothing I could do about. However, being called "Small Leg Boy" by the Triads does have its advantages. Being small means being nimble and that was the only thing I could do. I pivoted towards the emergency exit quickly and bolted towards the door as fast as my body could. I thought I would lose them when dashing in and out of the dozens of exits but I only found myself trapped in a dead end with a high ledge and a small army closing in on me. The drop itself looked like about 10ft from where I was standing but things look very different when you're stuck in a situation like this. Without even thinking, I leapt, pummeling towards what I soon thought would be my imminent death. I landed on soft soil which absorbed the shock and just barely kept me alive when I landed.
The pain was absolutely unbearable. The shock shot upwards from the soles of my feet but not even the extreme pain made me stop dead in my tracks but it sure as hell stopped the guards but it would only be a matter of time before they scramble their way downwards to the bottom floor. I limped away as fast as I could to the main road outside Cyberport where the cars were mere blurs to the naked eye. I noticed a young mother speaking in a soft and graceful tone "Stay here and don't even think about wandering onto the road okay. I'll get you an ice cream." Those exact words echoed in my mind and triggered a thought, a memory more like. A memory of when times were simple, when I all I had to worry about was what toy I would play with or what flavor of ice cream I would get. But I had no time to relive the joys of a simple, innocent childhood.
When I had the chance, I dashed across the road only to realize that a large black SUV was racing towards me. With barely any time to react I dived towards the pavement as the SUV swerved to the other side, barely missing me but bashed a guard. I watched as the young mother I had just laid eyes on had her ribs caved in which then in turn drove inwards into her body. Her skull was crushed under the weight of the SUV as blood sprayed onto her child who was only narrowly missed by the SUV. The other car which was closely behind the SUV crashed directly into the black car causing the driver to blast through the windshield. His neck snapped like a twig the moment he struck the floor. There was nothing anyone could do as he had already painted the pavement with his blood. A bus hurtled towards the crash but unfortunately the driver had no time to react and rammed the two cars side on sending them into the air as the bus came crashing down onto its side.
Gas started to trickle down the side of the bus, onto the tarmac and ran towards the flaming SUV. All that could be heard were the suppressed screams of the tourists trapped in the bus moments away from its impending doom. It was me or the band of innocents trapped in the bus. There was nothing I could do anyway. It was already too late. I made a break for it. I… I immediately regretted the decision as the backdrop turned into a massive ball of flames. The crunching sound of metal and the scorching sound of the flames didn't help but the echoing voice of the child was what broke.
"Mummy? Wake up mummy. Wake up! MUMMY? MUMMY!?"
The voice of the child played over and over again in my head like a broken record. I turned around to look back at the scene to see the child bending over his mother, weeping and screaming at the top of his lungs as the fire raged on behind him. A guard stared me down from a distance seeing nothing but disappointment in me. I had caused it. All of it. Every last bit.
If not for my selfish actions and thieving ambitions, they would never have had to take the toll for me. If I had chosen the simple life of being an average child going to an average school and living in an average house, they wouldn't have had to suffer for me. There is no way I will ever forgive myself for the actions I took. Or is there?