A/N: Zim and Dib are in high school in this and Dib has grown a little taller than him. For size reference, when Dib kneels in front of Zim, their heads are at the same height.
Why Can't You See?
We Were Meant To Be
Dib walked towards Zim's house, trying to keep up with the alien. It was a cold night, he clutched his scarf and held on to his backpack's straps trying to hurry as he lagged behind Zim. He was wearing his usual attire, his trench coat and his shirt with the grey smiley face as well as a new scarf he bought since it had become so cold lately. Dib had convinced Zim to work together with him on a homework assignment that was due the next day… Well, that was his excuse anyway.
He could now hardly believe that the alien was once his enemy! It seemed like such a long time ago, but it had only been a few months. Not that Zim treated him very differently, but to Dib though, it was different. He had become very fond of Zim, and he was happy for once in his life at having someone he could call a friend, a friend he had become addicted to. At most, it just seemed like Zim simply tolerated Dib being around though.
After getting bored of Zim the Tallest had finally made it clear enough for him to understand that he was banished. They didn't care what he did, they never wanted to see him around Irk or any of their conquered planets, and they didn't want to hear about his foolish plans anymore. What was there left for Zim? Could he continue his plans to destroy basically the only planet he'd been allowed to exist in? He vowed he would take over this filthy planet to rule it, not destroy it, and for himself, not for his Tallest. They weren't his Tallest anymore.
Dib of course, noticed that Zim faltered in his plans shortly after. He had practically stopped trying. He was in no hurry, and with no one to impress with his handywork of destroying the planet, he had plenty of time. Or so he told himself. Dib eventually found out why Zim had stopped, and no matter how much the Irken had insisted he was following some grand plan that would take a very long time to complete, he wasn't buying it. Zim grew tired of the human pestering him, so he simply told Dib everything. He couldn't care less anymore what the human thought.
This eventually led to a truce, and while they realized that each of them were aware of their differences, they had never seen each other's similarities. They began to notice how alike they really were! Zim wasn't too thrilled at first, but he felt it nice to have some company other than his insane robot for once, who could really get on his nerves sometimes. Although he dare not admit any of that to Dib! Zim noticed that this human really was one in a million among his species, smarter than the other examples of his disgusting race.
As Dib ran the few remaining steps between himself and Zim, upon catching up and walking next to him, he immediately noticed that the Irken looked every bit as uncomfortable from the cold as he was.
Zim, noticing that Dib had finally caught up with him, turned his head to him and said, "Quickly Dib-stink, it's freezing in this horrible Earth weather." As he rubbed his gloved hands together, continuing his fast paced walk towards his house. Zim had taken to wearing Earth clothes now, especially since it had become so cold. He was wearing a hooded sweater that matched his Irken uniform closely. It looked to be a bit too big for him considering how baggy it was, but it did keep him warm and that's all that mattered to him.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying already." Dib said as he wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck and over his mouth. He slipped his cold hands into his pants' pockets, Zim's house now finally within sight.
Upon arriving at his doorstep Zim opened the door and walked right in. Dib followed behind him and closed the door as he sighed to himself, "Finally, warmth!".
Gir was sitting on the couch undisguised. He was watching his favorite, the Scary Monkey Show, while licking the lollipop he had in his hand. Upon hearing the door open he turned and waved at the boys, "Hi master! And big head boy!"
"My head's not big!" Dib immediately snapped at the little robot, the reply long becoming an automatic response whenever his head was ridiculed. Gir simply giggled and continued watching his show, enjoying his candy.
"Gir!" Zim yelled at his SIR unit.
"Yes sir!" Gir saluted, his eyes and his other colored features quickly turning red for a moment before going back to their usual cyan colors, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth in his usual expression.
"Gir, I need you to go out for a while." Zim shouted firmly, "Me and the human are going to work on this horrible Earth assignment and we need some peace and quiet."
"I don't wanna!" Gir declared as he quickly jumped into his dog suit and flew out the door which slammed shut behind him. His lollipop flew towards the ceiling to be lost among the cables up there.
"Um... Well that works, I guess, heh." Dib said as he stared at the closed door before looking back at Zim who only rolled his eyes before heading to sit on the couch and taking off his scarf and hoodie. He was wearing a black shirt underneath with the Irken logo on it in red. He threw his discarded clothing on one of the couch's arms, not caring much where they landed. He then put his wig and contact lenses on the table next to the couch while wiggling his antennae, happy to be free from the dreaded wig.
"So tell me human, exactly which hideous assignment are we working on today, eh?" Zim was staring at the ceiling the entire time he spoke, seemingly bored, he couldn't even remember having an assignment due tomorrow, but "the Dib" usually paid more attention to these things anyway.
"Actually Zim, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something else…" Dib swallowed hard after finishing his sentence, he was staring at Zim's antennae, watching them wiggle after being released from their confinement. He was mesmerized by them. Zim's voice snapped him back to reality, "What do you mean, Dib?" Zim asked blankly without breaking his gaze at the ceiling. Dib walked towards the couch and sat next to him. He took off his scarf and put it where Zim had tossed his clothes. He then placed his backpack on the floor leaning against the couch.
Zim's antennae perked as the human sat next to him, taking his gaze off the apparently interesting ceiling just long enough to glance at him with his signature look of one eye narrowed and the other wide open, "Eh? So we don't have an assignment due tomorrow?"
Dib shook his head and braced himself waiting for Zim to explode at him in one of his fits of rage about how he had no time for stupid conversations, and how he was stupid, and he smelled, and-
"So then what do you want with Zim, Dib-worm?" Dib stopped cowering and opened his eyes wide, surprised the usual onslaught of threats never came.
"I… I wanted to talk about us, Zim." He said looking at the floor between his feet.
Zim tilted his head still quite confused, "What about us, human? Did I not say I would take over this filthy planet whenever I wanted? This truce was your idea."
"Yes I know, and I'm glad about the truce, it's not about that, well not entirely, well-" Dib averted his gaze back to Zim as he was interrupted.
"Just spit it out already, earthmonkey! No more of this mumbling you are doing!" Both of Zim's eyes narrowed now as he glared at "the Dib", he never was one to beat around the bush about anything, he wanted straight-forward answers.
Dib sighed and decided Zim was right. It wasn't like him to be afraid of Zim, he never had been before, but this was different. Dib was setting himself up to be hurt in a way he hadn't been before, he could handle the physical fights with Zim, but this…
"Zim, I want us to be more than friends… Do you understand?" His expression seemed more confident, but as soon as he spoke his words it was clear he was faking it. He was afraid of rejection, and he was trying his best to hide it. He wanted to reach out to Zim and hold his hand, but for the moment he thought it was best to keep to himself.
Zim's brain seemed to have broken at that moment, it took him a few moments to fully understand what "the Dib" meant. He had been on Earth long enough to learn how humans worked, for the most part.
"Y-You… WHAT?" Zim coughed as his antennae lowered against his head and he backed away from the human, towards the opposite end of the couch, all while keeping his eyes fixed on him.
"Just hear me out! Look, we get along really well and... Well we didn't before, but that's in the past! We have gotten along really well lately, and I… I really like you Zim! Please give it, give us.. a chance…?" Dib tried to put his hand on Zim's shoulder as he was finishing his sentence but Zim glared at his hand then back at Dib and the message was clear, 'Don't touch me or you'll lose that hand.' He pulled his arm back.
"Why on Irk would I want to do that? Are you not satisfied with having the privilege of being Zim's friend?" The Irken crossed his arms and gave him a questioning look.
Dib figured this was the best chance he was going to get to finally throw everything out on the table that had been bothering him for the past few months, no point on giving up now. After all this was the reason he had come to Zim's house today anyway. "Because Zim, I can't help it okay? I guess you haven't noticed how happy I am when I'm around you? You are the only person that gives me the time of day. You are the only one that I can call a friend, I feel like I can be myself around you without being made fun of.. as much…" Dib blushed as he poured his heart out, feeling incredibly vulnerable and stupid for having these feelings for him. He paused and thought for a moment, he thought about everything that he felt for the alien, and he could honestly say he loved the little Irken. He snapped back to reality after a moment of silence as Zim had kept quiet"…and you know you feel something too!" He shouted with his voice breaking slightly. That last remark was more of a hope for Dib than a belief, but he threw it out there anyway. He didn't care how it sounded.
"Foolish Earth creature, of course Zim has noticed, but why change something that doesn't need changing?" Zim paused, "I am an Irken soldier, Zim has no need for these foolish emotions! These… Icky human feelings!" He wiggled his fingers at the word icky and stuck his tongue out. "Invaders are incapable of your "love"!" Quoting with his three fingers again.
Dib looked like he had just been kicked in the stomach, and he might as well have been, his heart was crushed, but Zim hadn't shown actual hate towards him yet today… There was still hope and Dib was stubborn. He wasn't giving up that easily! He scooted closer to Zim and leaned his head forward, invading his personal space. "Then tell me why you don't kick me out of your house right now."
Zim looked nervously away from Dib's intense gaze, he wasn't feeling too comfortable with the boy this close to him, and he couldn't think of what to say to him either, he had a point. "Get out." He said weakly, still nervous from Dib's proximity.
It didn't come out at all like he had intended, and Dib only saw it as hope. "You know you don't mean that, Zim."
The alien grew frustrated, "GET OUT!" He yelled trying to sound as angry as he could, but by this point Dib already knew he was faking it.
"No." Dib's sad expression turned to that of a serious one, and he looked into Zim's eyes. "Damn it Zim! Stop pretending you want me to leave! You enjoy having me around as much as I enjoy you! Why are you the only one that can't see that? Who are you putting on this stubborn act for?"
Zim tried to look unaffected by the boy's outrage, he only leaned his head back slightly at the onslaught of words directed at him. "I don't care about what you feel towards me human, love is for humans, not Irkens, not Zim! Now leave!"
Zim seemed a lot more confident this time and Dib was slowly losing the little hope he had, he couldn't handle it anymore, he had played off being rejected well, but he couldn't hold back his tears anymore, he felt so ridiculous, so stupid for having these feelings. For being so weak in front of what was once his greatest enemy, now the person he loved the most in the world. Worse yet he was telling him to leave! He stared at Zim as the tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.
Zim only stared, keeping his face stern and as angry as he could at the human, but why did his body betray him? Why did the human looking so pathetic in front of him, make him…
Dib stood up from the couch, "Zim I love you, I mean every word, every meaning of the word, please… Please just give me a chance… Please…" Dib kneeled in front of Zim and buried his head in his lap clinging to his shirt as he sobbed. He didn't care anymore, he didn't care how stupid and vulnerable he was, he had to try.
Zim thought to back away from the human as he laid his head on his lap, but once again his body betrayed his mind, could Zim ever possibly feel anything for this human? Irkens weren't supposed to be capable of love, but Zim felt sorry for the human, how terrible to have fallen in love with someone who wasn't capable of such emotions... But Zim didn't move, didn't kick Dib away. Zim moved a gloved hand to the boy's head and stroked his hair, his expression grew sad, he honestly couldn't understand why it had come to this, wasn't everything just fine as friends? Why did this matter so much to Dib? The human was beginning to affect Zim in a way he wasn't supposed to be able to, nothing like this had ever happened before.
"Dib…" Zim muttered as Dib sniffled onto his lap, not wanting to face him in such a terrible state. "Dib." He refused to look up at the alien, it was too painful right now.
Zim was forced to make Dib look at him, he held his head in both of his gloved palms to make Dib look into his eyes. Dib's eyes were red and puffy, he could hardly keep them open. An endless stream of tears seemed to roll down his cheeks. The Dib looked so pathetic to him, but Zim only felt sorrow right now, why should he even feel this way for a pathetic human?
"Dib… I told you I am not capable of love, Zim is sorry." Zim should have kicked him out if he really didn't like the human, he should have shown him he was serious, but he couldn't. Zim was having such an inner turmoil, he knew he was only giving Dib false hope by not kicking him out. Why couldn't he do it?
Dib pulled away from Zim's grasp. He shifted to a sitting position on the floor and wiped his tears away from under his glasses with his sleeve. "Okay Zim… If you really mean that, there's nothing else I can do or say to you…" With a heavy heart Dib stood up and wobbled as he headed for the door, not caring that he was leaving his belongings behind.
Zim just sat there on the couch, he thought hard for a moment, a million thoughts running through his head at a mile a second. Dib began turning the doorknob to leave.
Zim paused, his thoughts driving him crazy, when suddenly he stood up and bolted towards Dib, wrapping his arms around the taller boy's waist as he was just about to open the door. "Dib…! Zim doesn't want you to leave!" He squeezed the human tightly as he fell onto him, knocking the door shut just as it had cracked open.
Dib couldn't have been more shocked, at that moment he thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest, he felt physically weak, he turned around, the alien never letting go as he spun around to face Zim.
"Z-Zim…? But you said you-"
"I know what I said human! But I don't want you to leave! Zim doesn't want you to leave!" Zim buried his face in the boy's shirt.
Dib kneeled down in front of Zim so that he was at eye level with him and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his neck, Zim doing the same back, tears once again poured out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks, this time they weren't tears of sadness.
The tears stung Zim's neck slightly, but he didn't care at this moment.
Zim moved his head to face the human's and looked him in the eyes. "Dib… Zim is not supposed to be capable of love, but Zim can't bear to see you leave… Why is this so confusing? Why must this be?" Zim looked down, away from Dib's gaze, he was saying it more to himself than to Dib.
Dib had to comprehend how all this was affecting Zim, he knew in fact that Irkens were not supposed to feel these things, but he had seen Zim was different, Zim just couldn't accept it. It confused the alien beyond all reason, but actions spoke louder than words.
Dib held Zim's chin in his hand as he finally closed the space between them, taking Zim's lips onto his own, his arms now wrapped around his neck, one of his hands holding the back of his head, and his wet lips brushing harshly against the alien's green ones.
Zim's eyes widened at the sudden contact, but he knew what this was, he had seen it many times on those horrible Earth movies. His instincts told him to move away, but he didn't, he just couldn't. His eyes slowly closed and he clung to Dib's coat with both hands, returning the kiss, it seemed like his body was winning over his confused mind.
Dib couldn't have been happier that Zim made no attempt to move away or slap him, or even stab him with one of his spider legs.
It seemed like an eternity, but it lasted less than a minute before Dib broke away from the kiss, blushing madly. Zim looked away, not letting go of Dib's coat. 'Could he possibly be blushing?' Dib thought to himself, taking note of the new blueish tint on his cheeks as he opened his eyes and saw Zim's face.
Zim looked back at the human, he was smiling, and Zim couldn't help but smile back. When before the human had looked so pathetic and miserable, he now looked happier than Zim had ever seen the human in his life. He realized that this made him happy too. 'Is this what love is?' He questioned to himself, only to be cut off mid thought by Dib.
"I love you Zim." Before the alien could protest or argue and begin to make his inner turmoil be noticed once more, Dib kissed him again, and Zim wasn't going to argue with that.
Dib sucked and licked the alien's lower lip, begging for entrance to his mouth. Zim complied and allowed the human's tongue inside, his wet tongue finding Zim's. Zim's snake-like tongue curled and wrapped around Dib's in a battle for dominance. Dib moaned softly into the kiss, pushing Zim onto the floor and straddling him, not parting from their heated kiss. Eventually it had to come to an end as they both broke from each other's lips gasping for air.
"Dib…" Was all the short alien could muster from underneath the human… In his mind, he was happy. Never before had he felt something so enjoyable! At the same time, he had never been so dominated in all his life! He had to do something about that! Zim pushed the human back to the floor in one quick movement, and was now sitting on top of him.
"Foolish human, you dare try to challenge Zim!" Zim grinned at Dib, who was now helplessly underneath of him. Zim enjoyed his new dominant position, and Dib didn't mind. It brought back fond memories of when they were enemies, always fighting each other. Dib realized now that all along, he loved every moment he ever spent with Zim.
"Stupid alien, doesn't know what love is." Dib smirked as he sat up from underneath Zim, both of them now sitting on the floor with their legs around each other. Dib held Zim close to him, resting his chin on top of the alien's head. He was content with how everything had turned out, planting soft kisses on his head. He was tempted to touch Zim's antennae which twitched at the feel of his breath. He reached up with a hand and began to feel one with his fingertips.
"Hmph! Filthy human emotions." Was all Zim could say at the statement, his eyes shot open instantly as he felt the human's hand on his antennae. "Don't touch those!" He barked as he moved his head away blushing, unable to escape due to their legs being wrapped around each other while Dib held him in place. He wasn't going to let Zim go anywhere.
"What's wrong with touching them? They feel nice." Dib didn't have a clue why Zim was so jumpy about it, they were just another part of his body after all.
"Zim commands you not to touch them!" Zim folded his arms and looked up at the human with narrowed eyes.
"But I want to…" Dib had always wondered how the Irkens worked, how everything functioned, and this was his chance to find out something new about the alien. As stubborn as he was, Dib couldn't just take no for an answer could he? He ignored the alien's death glare and reached for both of his antennae, wrapping his hands around the base and stroking their length with his fingers. They felt smooth and silky to the touch, and Dib loved it.
Once again the stupid human had disobeyed Zim's direct orders, and Zim had let him. 'How could this be happening? Does the human really have so much control over me?' He thought to himself. It was too late now, this was affecting him in exactly the way he didn't want, and his body once again became useless. He melted under the human's touch, literally going limp. His head plopped down onto the human's lap as Dib continued to stroke the sensitive appendages.
Dib noticed as Zim became completely relaxed and smiled, the evil alien bent on conquering the planet was reduced to a mere kitten on his lap? Dib grinned evilly, loving how much power he had over the alien. He had no intention of using any of it against him, he was just content with making the little bastard happy for now, even after the emotional nightmare he had to endure earlier.
"Enjoying that, space boy?" Dib remarked as he leaned down and kissed Zim's forehead, Zim still lying on his lap. Dib heard some weird sounds coming from Zim. 'Is the alien purring?' Dib thought to himself. It sounded like little moans as well. He wondered if he should stop, worried he was taking advantage of the alien, he decided to remove his hands from Zim's antennae.
Zim became angered at the loss of Dib's touch on his antennae, however he was glad to finally be able to move again. What a pitiful invader... So easily swayed by this filthy human. To be rendered helpless merely by his touch, but Zim wasn't really an invader to begin with was he? He redirected his anger from Dib having stopped, to him having done it at all. "I told you not to touch those! Stupid filthy HYOOMAN!" Zim growled as he had finally had enough of being rendered helpless this many times in one day. He got up from the floor and went to sit on the couch, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling letting out a sigh. He stared at Gir's forgotten lollipop stuck to one of the cables on the ceiling.
Dib felt bad about having put so much pressure on the alien all at once. Since he had been so confused and couldn't even process his own emotions, which he wasn't supposed to have in the first place, Dib felt rather selfish. However he couldn't complain, Zim had in a way admitted defeat to the human. Dib had no intent of rubbing that in. "I'm sorry Zim, I shouldn't have done that… I couldn't help it, I like them." Dib said as he got up and walked towards the couch to sit close to Zim.
Zim really couldn't argue, he hated to admit it to himself, but he had liked it. 'Maybe this isn't so bad after all' he thought to himself, despite not enjoying the idea of a human having so much control over him. "Just control yourself Earth-stink." He said as he leaned his head against the Earthling's shoulder.
Dib pulled Zim onto his lap and decided to cool off for now, content that Zim hadn't been harsh on him for once. He rubbed Zim's arm under his shirt's sleeve. Zim closed his eyes enjoying his little massage.
He soon got bored of the calmness in the room and was struck with an idea. He looked up at Dib grinning from cheek to cheek, he decided that if the human could have so much control over him, that he could do the same. Fair's fair.
Zim pushed Dib over on the couch and straddled him. Before the human could protest about being pushed over, Zim licked his lips and leaned down into a kiss. As Dib stuck his tongue out to meet Zim's, he was caught by surprise as Zim snaked his tongue into Dib's mouth, his lips touching Dib's. Dib wrapped his arms around the alien above him, returning the kiss and gladly allowing him to do what he wanted, he had no complaints.
Whatever the human wanted to call it, Zim didn't care, but he knew he didn't want the horrible- well, maybe not so horrible human, to be gone from his life. Dib was his weakness, and he hated that idea, but there is a thin line between love and hate.
If Zim could hate "the Dib", maybe he could love him too.
A/N: Parts of this story were inspired by events that happened with me and my ex, while that didn't have a happy ending I saw some resemblance to how their relationship might go and well I decided to use some of it, what better inspiration than real life events right?
As for Zim actually feeling love, there is one unfinished episode (Nubs of Doom) that he says "If I were capable of love I might actually love you" I used this line as inspiration that Irkens can't love. The fact that Zim is supposed to have a faulty Pak was my excuse that maybe he could, but he doesn't know that. Keep in mind this is a fanfiction and this is only my interpretation of these things, I don't claim them to be facts, only inspiration.
Much thanks to KenjiFox for helping me refine and edit this, without his help this wouldn't be nearly as neat and complex as it is!
Thanks for reading! R&R, but please be gentle, this is my first ever fanfiction.
You can also find me on DeviantArt under the name SylvieNe.