I Searched His Inks Black Eyes
Disclaimer: Ginny Weasley, Severus Snape and all the other Harry Potter cast do not belong to me. I wish that they did, but sadly fairies don't cross copywriting either. Damn those law abiding fairies.
Many thanks to Smoothie, my beta. You rule, you crazy squirrel hater.
***
I can't pinpoint the moment I realised that I was attracted to him, just like I can't pinpoint the moment I fell in love with him. It must have happened slowly. I'd notice how beautiful his onyx like eyes were, or how his horrible sneer would disappear in the presence of a well-made potion. All I know is, it finally came to a point where I no longer looked forward to my comfortable dates with Dean, but rather, to my dank and gloomy potions lessons.
Dean noticed at once that I was distracted. The problem with dating someone for so long is that they get to know you too well. We argued often, and eventually he broke up with me. My brother and his friends tried to comfort me, and I was grateful, for I would miss Dean, but my attention was elsewhere.
In a boarding school, news travels fast, and soon everyone knew that Dean had dumped me. I didn't mind though, it meant that people blamed my loss of weight and lack of sleep on a broken heart, not on love sickness. I soon realised I had to do something about my feelings.
I paid avis attention in class, taking in every word that he said. I was determined that he wouldn't think I was an idiot. But, to my disappointment, he paid no attention to my increased marks. More drastic measures had to be taken.
I decided to stay back after class. I claimed that I had not understood what he had said about shrinking potions, and he believed me.
He began explaining, with an impatient voice, and my attempts at flirting were useless. When I left I felt completely unsatisfied, and I knew I had to redouble my attempts.
I began to stay back after nearly every lesson. I'd make up the most bizarre excuses, if I had not pre-planned one, and eventually his patience with me ran out.
"For Merlin's sake Weasley! I see no good reason as to why you're here, and see no reason as to why you shouldn't leave!"
I ran out of the room, feeling utterly humiliated. In his lessons I could no longer even look at him, and had no chance of concentrating on what he was saying. My marks began to slip again, and one day he called me back to discuss it.
"I cannot understand what has happened Miss Weasley." He snapped, "You were doing well lately."
"I'm just not understanding the work." I said, cringing at how ditsy I sounded. But then I had a brilliant idea "Of course, if you stayed behind with me after lessons, we could go over it. I could catch up in no time."
I was sure he would say no, he looked ready to say no, but then he looked at me. Maybe he saw the pleading and yearning in my eyes, or maybe I just looked too pitiful for words. Whatever the reason, he gave in. I was ecstatic.
At first we discussed only potions, but we soon discovered we had many common interests, and our after school sessions were soon filled wit discussions about art, and debates about art. As a seventh year student, I was allowed to leave the Hogwarts grounds, and I used this privilege to visit museums and exhibitions, so we would have more to discuss. He began to open up to me, although he kept his Death Eater past firmly locked away. I began to suspect it was not only because it was private, but also because he was worried about scaring me away.
I stopped calling his Professor Snape and called him Severus instead, and he called me Virginia, although he never called me Ginny, no matter how many times I asked.
But, of course, this was only during our after school sessions. During class he would ignore me, for if he talked to me he would have to be cruel as he was to other students. Neither of us wanted that.
A month after we started the sessions I knew it was time to show him how I really felt. I turned up in an old school sweater that was supposed to be worn with a shirt. Without the shirt, and with it being so tight, it was quite revealing. But not too much, I was not a slut.
I regretted my choice as soon as I entered the dungeon. The cold hit me like a wall, and it was all I could do not to turn away.
"Is that top entirely appropriate?" He asked.
"It looked warm when I got dressed Severus." I lied, trying to hide my disappointment at his reaction.
"Ah yes, the teenage girl's view on the weather is quite.unique." He joked.
"I'm a young woman." I pointed out. So take a hint! I thought to myself.
"Yes, yes you are." He said. My heat skipped a beat. Had he sounded.wistful? I sat down on the desk, next to where he was sitting, and felt my skin come up in Goosebumps because of how close we were.
"Are you cold Virginia?" He asked, "Do you want me to get you a warming potion?"
"No, no, I'm fine." I lied. I wasn't fine at all. I was feeling incredibly stupid. How could I think I think I could just turn up and tell him how I felt? What was I going to do, kiss him?
We were sitting very close. If I wanted to I could just lean across and.
Now, I told myself, but nothing happened.
Now. Again, nothing.
Now? Nope.
"Virgi-" Ah, there we go. My body kicked into action, and suddenly we were kissing.
He fell off the desk.
If the situation had not been so serious I would have laughed. Severus was not a short man, and the sight of his long body sprawled out on the floor was comical. But I was in no mood to laugh.
"Virginia!" He exclaimed.
"Yes Severus?" I tried to keep my voice calm.
"I-I-I think you should leave." He stuttered. I nodded, and left.
***
The next day he ignored me in potions. He didn't so much as look at me once. When the lesson ended, I slowly packed my things away, so I'd be the last to leave.
"Miss Weasley." He called.
"Yes Severus?" I replied, ignoring the formal tone.
"I am pleased with the progress you've made. I see no reason for us to continue the after school sessions."
"I don't regret what I did." I said, changing the subject "I regret that it made you uncomfortable though."
"You tricked me." He snapped "you planned this from the start, so that you could grow close to me."
"Yes." I didn't see any point in denying it. He was silent for a long time, just starring at the desk. Finally he spoke.
"Why are you still here? There's nothing for you."
"There's you." I said and left. Of course, I would come back. He had asked me to leave, he had been cold, but he hadn't said that he hadn't felt the same way about me.
***
I didn't return again for two weeks, giving him his space. Lessons were awkward, but mostly we ignored each other. I was waiting for the right opportunity.
It came in the form of a careers meeting. We had to visit each of our professors in turn, and discuss our predicted grades. My appointment with him was late, the last time slot of the day.
"Hello Severus." I said as I walked into the room. Small pink patches appeared on his cheeks.
"Miss Weasley." He said uncomfortably "Do you know what career path you wish to take?"
"Yes, I want to be a healer." I told him "I need an outstanding for potions in my newts."
"You do this to me on purpose, don't you?" He said, ignoring me.
"Don't know what you're talking about." I lied.
"Why me?" He sighed, "I'm no fool, I know I'm not attractive, and I'm certainly not nice."
It was true he wasn't attractive. His long hair needed more frequent washing, his nose was long and hook like and his face was permanently twisted in a sneer.
"You're not ugly though." I said "And you may not be 'nice' but you're interesting."
"Are you seriously saying that you're interested in me for my brain?" He asked.
"Severus, I'm more than interested in you." And for the first time I voiced my true feeling "I'm in love with you."
He was silent for a long time, and when he spoke his voice was quiet.
"When did this happen?"
"I'm not sure. During one of our after school sessions probably."
"And do you think that by telling me this, you can make me love you back?" he demanded.
"Of course not!" I exclaimed, "I can't force you to love me. All I can do is try to prove to you that I deserve your love."
With that I walked towards where he was sitting at his desk.
"You're a student." He said.
"I'm seventeen, I'm of age." I pointed out "If need be, I'll leave school, so I won't be a student."
"No." He cut in immediately "No, you can't. You're going to be a healer Virginia, I will not let myself get in the way of that."
We were standing opposite each other now.
"Severus, please don't send me away."
"I won't."
And with that, he leant down and kissed me.
This time I nearly fell over. I had dreamt of this moment for so long, yet, in my imagination, it had always been in sun lit parks, not in the dank dungeons of Hogwarts.
But, of course, it only took me a moment to un-stiffen. I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe so he didn't have to stoop. His arms curled around my waist, and, for that moment, I was in bliss.
When we broke apart, it was with reluctance. I could have happily stayed like that forever.
***
A.N. This is my first Ginny/Snape fic, so please review. If it looks good, I'll write another chapter. In this case, you're opinion really does count!
Disclaimer: Ginny Weasley, Severus Snape and all the other Harry Potter cast do not belong to me. I wish that they did, but sadly fairies don't cross copywriting either. Damn those law abiding fairies.
Many thanks to Smoothie, my beta. You rule, you crazy squirrel hater.
***
I can't pinpoint the moment I realised that I was attracted to him, just like I can't pinpoint the moment I fell in love with him. It must have happened slowly. I'd notice how beautiful his onyx like eyes were, or how his horrible sneer would disappear in the presence of a well-made potion. All I know is, it finally came to a point where I no longer looked forward to my comfortable dates with Dean, but rather, to my dank and gloomy potions lessons.
Dean noticed at once that I was distracted. The problem with dating someone for so long is that they get to know you too well. We argued often, and eventually he broke up with me. My brother and his friends tried to comfort me, and I was grateful, for I would miss Dean, but my attention was elsewhere.
In a boarding school, news travels fast, and soon everyone knew that Dean had dumped me. I didn't mind though, it meant that people blamed my loss of weight and lack of sleep on a broken heart, not on love sickness. I soon realised I had to do something about my feelings.
I paid avis attention in class, taking in every word that he said. I was determined that he wouldn't think I was an idiot. But, to my disappointment, he paid no attention to my increased marks. More drastic measures had to be taken.
I decided to stay back after class. I claimed that I had not understood what he had said about shrinking potions, and he believed me.
He began explaining, with an impatient voice, and my attempts at flirting were useless. When I left I felt completely unsatisfied, and I knew I had to redouble my attempts.
I began to stay back after nearly every lesson. I'd make up the most bizarre excuses, if I had not pre-planned one, and eventually his patience with me ran out.
"For Merlin's sake Weasley! I see no good reason as to why you're here, and see no reason as to why you shouldn't leave!"
I ran out of the room, feeling utterly humiliated. In his lessons I could no longer even look at him, and had no chance of concentrating on what he was saying. My marks began to slip again, and one day he called me back to discuss it.
"I cannot understand what has happened Miss Weasley." He snapped, "You were doing well lately."
"I'm just not understanding the work." I said, cringing at how ditsy I sounded. But then I had a brilliant idea "Of course, if you stayed behind with me after lessons, we could go over it. I could catch up in no time."
I was sure he would say no, he looked ready to say no, but then he looked at me. Maybe he saw the pleading and yearning in my eyes, or maybe I just looked too pitiful for words. Whatever the reason, he gave in. I was ecstatic.
At first we discussed only potions, but we soon discovered we had many common interests, and our after school sessions were soon filled wit discussions about art, and debates about art. As a seventh year student, I was allowed to leave the Hogwarts grounds, and I used this privilege to visit museums and exhibitions, so we would have more to discuss. He began to open up to me, although he kept his Death Eater past firmly locked away. I began to suspect it was not only because it was private, but also because he was worried about scaring me away.
I stopped calling his Professor Snape and called him Severus instead, and he called me Virginia, although he never called me Ginny, no matter how many times I asked.
But, of course, this was only during our after school sessions. During class he would ignore me, for if he talked to me he would have to be cruel as he was to other students. Neither of us wanted that.
A month after we started the sessions I knew it was time to show him how I really felt. I turned up in an old school sweater that was supposed to be worn with a shirt. Without the shirt, and with it being so tight, it was quite revealing. But not too much, I was not a slut.
I regretted my choice as soon as I entered the dungeon. The cold hit me like a wall, and it was all I could do not to turn away.
"Is that top entirely appropriate?" He asked.
"It looked warm when I got dressed Severus." I lied, trying to hide my disappointment at his reaction.
"Ah yes, the teenage girl's view on the weather is quite.unique." He joked.
"I'm a young woman." I pointed out. So take a hint! I thought to myself.
"Yes, yes you are." He said. My heat skipped a beat. Had he sounded.wistful? I sat down on the desk, next to where he was sitting, and felt my skin come up in Goosebumps because of how close we were.
"Are you cold Virginia?" He asked, "Do you want me to get you a warming potion?"
"No, no, I'm fine." I lied. I wasn't fine at all. I was feeling incredibly stupid. How could I think I think I could just turn up and tell him how I felt? What was I going to do, kiss him?
We were sitting very close. If I wanted to I could just lean across and.
Now, I told myself, but nothing happened.
Now. Again, nothing.
Now? Nope.
"Virgi-" Ah, there we go. My body kicked into action, and suddenly we were kissing.
He fell off the desk.
If the situation had not been so serious I would have laughed. Severus was not a short man, and the sight of his long body sprawled out on the floor was comical. But I was in no mood to laugh.
"Virginia!" He exclaimed.
"Yes Severus?" I tried to keep my voice calm.
"I-I-I think you should leave." He stuttered. I nodded, and left.
***
The next day he ignored me in potions. He didn't so much as look at me once. When the lesson ended, I slowly packed my things away, so I'd be the last to leave.
"Miss Weasley." He called.
"Yes Severus?" I replied, ignoring the formal tone.
"I am pleased with the progress you've made. I see no reason for us to continue the after school sessions."
"I don't regret what I did." I said, changing the subject "I regret that it made you uncomfortable though."
"You tricked me." He snapped "you planned this from the start, so that you could grow close to me."
"Yes." I didn't see any point in denying it. He was silent for a long time, just starring at the desk. Finally he spoke.
"Why are you still here? There's nothing for you."
"There's you." I said and left. Of course, I would come back. He had asked me to leave, he had been cold, but he hadn't said that he hadn't felt the same way about me.
***
I didn't return again for two weeks, giving him his space. Lessons were awkward, but mostly we ignored each other. I was waiting for the right opportunity.
It came in the form of a careers meeting. We had to visit each of our professors in turn, and discuss our predicted grades. My appointment with him was late, the last time slot of the day.
"Hello Severus." I said as I walked into the room. Small pink patches appeared on his cheeks.
"Miss Weasley." He said uncomfortably "Do you know what career path you wish to take?"
"Yes, I want to be a healer." I told him "I need an outstanding for potions in my newts."
"You do this to me on purpose, don't you?" He said, ignoring me.
"Don't know what you're talking about." I lied.
"Why me?" He sighed, "I'm no fool, I know I'm not attractive, and I'm certainly not nice."
It was true he wasn't attractive. His long hair needed more frequent washing, his nose was long and hook like and his face was permanently twisted in a sneer.
"You're not ugly though." I said "And you may not be 'nice' but you're interesting."
"Are you seriously saying that you're interested in me for my brain?" He asked.
"Severus, I'm more than interested in you." And for the first time I voiced my true feeling "I'm in love with you."
He was silent for a long time, and when he spoke his voice was quiet.
"When did this happen?"
"I'm not sure. During one of our after school sessions probably."
"And do you think that by telling me this, you can make me love you back?" he demanded.
"Of course not!" I exclaimed, "I can't force you to love me. All I can do is try to prove to you that I deserve your love."
With that I walked towards where he was sitting at his desk.
"You're a student." He said.
"I'm seventeen, I'm of age." I pointed out "If need be, I'll leave school, so I won't be a student."
"No." He cut in immediately "No, you can't. You're going to be a healer Virginia, I will not let myself get in the way of that."
We were standing opposite each other now.
"Severus, please don't send me away."
"I won't."
And with that, he leant down and kissed me.
This time I nearly fell over. I had dreamt of this moment for so long, yet, in my imagination, it had always been in sun lit parks, not in the dank dungeons of Hogwarts.
But, of course, it only took me a moment to un-stiffen. I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe so he didn't have to stoop. His arms curled around my waist, and, for that moment, I was in bliss.
When we broke apart, it was with reluctance. I could have happily stayed like that forever.
***
A.N. This is my first Ginny/Snape fic, so please review. If it looks good, I'll write another chapter. In this case, you're opinion really does count!