Disclaimer: Crap, I knew I forgot something. And unless I tell someone that I don't own Mass Effect in any way, shape, or form, Tali is gonna set Chiktikka on me. No, Chiktikka. Not the optics. NOT THE OPTI-

Conversation With An Ancient Bartender

The past few hours had been rather confusing for Tali'Zorah. The new crew that they had picked up over the past few weeks were driving her up the wall. It was enough to make her wish that she could lock down the elevator to the engineering level. On top of that, they had gotten word to visit Liara, an old friend from back in the day. Only, instead of the awkward bumbling girl that caused so many faux pas on the original Normandy, there was instead a cold and vindictive woman that was eerily reminiscent of her mother. On top of that, she had barely given Shepard the time of day, and had not acknowledged her or Garrus at all.

Plus the task that she had given Shepard was rather demeaning. Hacking computers for information that she needed, yet being rather evasive about what said information could actually be. Thankfully, said task was simple enough that any quarian should be able to do it in their sleep. And Tali was better than most quarians.

Still, it was demeaning. And it had helped push her to the last straw.

So, after being forced to deal with the return of Conrad Verner, the most rabid of Shepard's fans, they were left conversing with the dry-witted bartender that had been threatening the young man. Not without good reason, of course. Tali tuned the two out, staring instead at the surroundings. That is, as she marveled at the fact that there were two other quarians in there with her. One was standing near an asari, fidgeting about, and the other hamming it up with a turian. She couldn't help but feel sorry for that turian; he had made every move he could to let the quarian know that he liked her, but she ignored him, happier to complain. It made Tali wonder if all quarians sounded like that to other species. It was rather sad to hear it.

"Tali, are you there? We're about ready to head back to Liara."

Tali nearly jumped off her barstool perch. She had been so lost gazing around the barroom that she had forgotten that the others were there. However, the message did get through her distracted state of mind. And with everything going on, she was hardly in the mood to go see Liara again. Especially so soon. "I'm here Shepard. But I think I'm just gonna stay for a while. I need to… cool down."

Shepard looked at her oddly before shrugging his shoulders. "Alright, if you say so. Just keep your communicator on, in case we need you."

Tali just nodded before staring vacantly back at the crowd. "Will do Shepard." Tali hardly noticed as the pair left her in peace at the bar. As the minutes ticked by, her expression inside her helmet never changed. It never showed anything more than boredom.

Eventually, however, the bartender broke the silence. "Hey kid. Anything I can get ya? Or are you going to stare out into the void all day?"

Shaken out of her thoughts for a second time, she looked back at the ancient bartender. I really shouldn't be drinking on the job like this… But in the state I'm in, I'm going to either kill somebody or just be of no use. Eventually making up her mind, she replied, "Sure. Just not something too hard. I'm on the clock, in a manner of speaking."

The asari's eyes glanced back to the door. "I hear ya, babe. Don't worry, I've something here that won't get you too smashed." She reached under the counter and pulled out an old clear tube. Dusting the glass-like container off, jostling the liquid inside, she sat it in front of the quarian. "Here you go. Since you're here with Shepard, it's on the house."

Tali's eyes stared at the asari for a moment, before acceding. "Alright, thank you Ms… Aethyta, was it?" Grabbing the tube, she linked it into a receptacle in the bottom of her helmet.

The bartender just barked a laugh. "So you were listening after all? Or perhaps only hearing what you wanted to? Either way, no skin off me. Most people that come here, they call me barkeep." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, what ya think of that there?"

Tali gave the drink an experimental sip. "It's… interesting. Definitely different than anything Shepard or Garrus has talked me into trying before. It's not bad though. Not like any turian stuff I've had before."

Aethyta smirked at the quarian. "It's because it's not. That drink was at least 500 years vintage from Rannoch. Thought that one of the quarians who've actually done something might appreciate that."

Eyes widening, she snapped at the asari, "What? You've been to Rannoch before. To the home world?"

The barkeep just replied, "Yep." Seeing that the quarian wanted to know more than that, she offered, "Never spent too long in quarian space. I was matron then, and didn't want to stray too far from my mate." She looked over and past the younger quarian. "I'm not the poetical type, kid. Not anymore at least. But your homeward was beautiful. Plains as far as the eye could see, broken up by the rare mountain range. A few grand inland seas connected by ancient waterways your people had dug up millennia ago." She shrugged, looking back at Tali. "Your people had so much potential, too."

Tali tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Afraid dad said it best. That if the quarians got themselves together, they could have taken over the galaxy." At her customer's even more confused glance, she continued. "Your people were more inventive than anybody, even a salarian. Still are, even if most people don't care to admit it." She reached a hand up and tapped her head. "Old dad taught me a few things about all of the races, as a krogan needs to understand his enemies. I still remember what he said. Always force salarians into a straight up battle, they'll fold every time. Turians are resilient, but inflexible. Force them into position, and then strike their rear. Asari can be weathered until their biotics dry up. And quarians are best fought in hand to hand, if you can catch them."

She just grinned behind her mask. "That is why we always have a shotgun with us. Just in case." Taking another sip, she mulled her next question. What do you mean, getting ourselves together? I can't say I know that much about what life was like on the homeward."

The asari sighed to herself, muttering about the whole thing being a damn shame. She grabbed a glass that had been left by another customer and began to wipe it down, keeping her hands busy. "Because, before the war, your people wasted a ton of their potential. Arguably, even more than mine have with their dedications to politics and culture." Again Aethyta rolled her eyes.

Somewhat shocked, Tali could barely help but keep the growl out of her voice. "I believe my people would rather be doing something else than keeping our fleet and only hope of survival afloat in space."

"I know babe, I know." Aethyta just smirked at her though. "Doesn't make it any less true. Your people have always been gossips, and have always thrived on social interaction. And have always been reliant on tech. Those suits have existed for millennia before the war, but were only required when outside of quarian space. Unless you had adapted, somehow." She sighed, looking down. "I hope you remember the reason the get were created in the first place, correct?"

Tali looked down her self, closing her eyes. "Yes, I remember. We had wanted to automate everything for ourselves, so that we needn't worry about it."

Aethyta nodded and leaned over to her. "Yup. And that's where you went wrong." Brushing off the sharp glare given to her by the quarian, she continued, "Your people had become complacent. While everyone automates some aspects of their industry, yours took it to the extreme. Instead of merely creating automatons to work under supervisors, they created the mechs that could act on their own. Slowly, but surely, you let them into every aspect of your lives. Every family had a get to take care of chores, to do the gardening. To do everything for your people, so they could focus on art, or whatever else they wanted to do."

At this point, Tali was deeply shaken. Staring down at the table, she quietly said, "We… we never really talk about it on the flotilla. But, the ancestors, how could they have been so wrong to do it?"

The bartender just shrugged. "Because they thought it was the best for their people. No work could let them focus on other, more pressing matters. Or on leisure. There had been no AI revolutions, so they thought they were safe."

Still not meeting the asari's eyes, she spoke, mostly to herself. "Still, I wished someone would have helped us. IF the council had stepped in, maybe we could have saved more of our people."

Aethyta just shrugged. "They never would have. You were too big of a threat. And you know how the council treats threats to the status quo."

Tali snorted. "Yeah, I know what happened to the krogans. Utterly destroyed." Wrex had made his feelings quite plain all those years ago.

The asari drawled out, "And not just them. The rachni were driven to extinction. Batarians have continuously been killing and enslaving themselves for millennia. As long as they don't enslave too many of the Council's races, they're allowed to exist. The drell were left to die on their homeward, but were only saved by the hanar. Your people, an upstanding member of the council races for two thousand years, ignored as your species was driven nearly to extinction. The humans, left to defend themselves with a hand tied behind their back." She shook her head. "Need I go on?"

"I got you. As long as the council is fine, the entire galaxy could burn for all they care."

""Yup, that pretty much sums it up." Aethyta sighed. Looking up, though, a ghost of a smirk appeared on her face. "However, with what you and Shepard have been doing, that may change."

Tali looked back up, curiosity shining in her eyes. "Why do you say that?"

The bartender snorted. "Because the Council is starting to be shown as ineffective.

You've the council spectres being betrayed from within their own ranks, and it takes a human to stop them. Along with his crew, which included a quarian and a krogan." Sarcastically, she added, "The dregs of civilization apparently. And then Shepard comes claiming that the Reapers are responsible for all of this. Something that the Council instantly denies."

Tali shook her head. "Somehow, I didn't think that anybody would believe us. With the welcome we've been getting…"

Aethyta just nodded. "You're right. I know Shepard's type. He is telling the truth. I can feel it. And that makes him scary to the Council, because if he is right, that means they've wasted years that could help prepare us." She chuckled a bit darkly. "We'll be seeing who is laughing the blue of whose ass now, the barefaced bastards."

Tali joined her in laughter for a bit. "Maybe, but I suppose we'll see what happens after the war. For now, as nice as it would be…"

"…It's not the time when your survival is on the line." Aethyta snorted. "Still can't wait to see the looks on their faces… heh." Shaking her head, the bartender looked at the quarian. "As cathartic as it is to insult the Council, what's got you troubled otherwise? Unless staring into the void is your idea of a good time."

Tali barked out another laugh, this one noticeably harsher. "Just frustrated. Came down here expecting to find a friend, but instead found someone who's acting like the spitting image of her mother, whom we killed a few years ago." Pausing to take another sip, she added offhandedly, "Plus, some of the crew on the ship seems to be taking their time to drive me up the wall. If I could, I'd have them committed."

Aethyta just shook her head. "Gotcha. You mean T'Soni? What about her has got you all aflutter? I didn't think you went for that type..."

Blushing furiously behind her mask, and ignoring the implications that the bartender knew what types she did like, she replied, "N-Nothing like that! Bah, asari…" Garnering a small snicker from the bartender, she explained, "Just, when we met Liara the first time, she was so awkward and innocent even. But now… She's threatening people, implicating that she'll blackmail them…" Tali shrugged. "I'm worried about what happened to our friend. She wouldn't even acknowledge us."

A bit more sympathetically, Aethyta replied. "Oh, I see. Kid, first thing you need to understand that in her business that she's in, she needs to make threats. And there was probably a good reason she didn't say anything. She might have been watched, too. It's hard to tell on Illium."

Tali sighed, placing a hand on her mask. "Still, doesn't mean that it's right."

Aethyta just shrugged. "That's the way it is on Illium."

Raising a brow, Tali asked, "Didn't we just discuss going against the status quo on the council?"

A wolfish grin came over the bartender's face. "That we did. But as concerned as you are for her sake, and for Shepard's, you don't have to worry. I've been watching her for a while. She hasn't done anything too extreme."

Confused again, Tali tilted her head to the side. "Why would you be watching her?"

The asari turned her head to the side, pointedly not looking at Tali. "I owed her mother something. It's not much, but it's the last I can do to make up a bit of it."

Nodding for a few seconds, Tali's eyes suddenly widened as the implications hit her. "You mean…"

"Yes, I do."

The two set quietly for a few seconds. Tali was waiting to see if she would continue.

Aethyta would not give her the satisfaction. "So, what about these humans, driving you barmy?"

Again, Tali sighed, shaking her head. "They just drive me up the wall. Sure, they're always nice about it, but they seem to make a point in every conversation to throw me for a loop, at the sheer insanity of what they're saying. I think they're doing it on purpose." Unnoticed, part of her omnitool glowed on under the counter.

Stroking her chin, the now vastly amused bartender said, "Well, I don't know that much about humans, considering how young they are compared to the rest of our species. But from what I know, the crazier they act about you, the more they like you. So from the sounds of it, they positively love you."

Tali suddenly looked around. "Shh! Don't say that too loudly. They might hear you, and get ideas."

"Umm… Tali?" A new voice came from her wrist. Great, Joker. Maybe he didn't hear any of that. Or maybe it's just him. "Shepard wanted to tell you to head back to the ship as soon as you can, as we'll be setting out."

Relieved, Tali took the last sip of her drink and extracted the tube from her mask. "Alright Joker, I'm on our way."

Before he signed off, Joker also said, "Oh, and Tali? Your special friends says that they miss you, and hope that their Purple People Eater will be back soon. And that maybe you feel the same way. Something you want to tell me, Tali?"

Again, her hand met her mask. "No, Joker, nothing. I'm out." Looking back at the barkeep, who was barely restraining laughter, she sighed again. "See what I have to put up with?"

Nodding the bartender grabbed the tube and put it away. "Indeed, I do. Crazy humans." As Tali got up, she called, "Come back anytime. Be nice to have some respectable people around these parts. Maybe you can introduce me to your friends."

Rolling her eyes, Tali just grumbled, "We'll see." Taking a few steps away, she turned back to the asari. "By the way, I think she might like to know. Would it hurt to tell her?"

Trying to keep her face blank, Aethyta shrugged. "It might." However, a long glance in the direction of the information broker's offices told the rest of the story. "Until next time, Tali'Zorah. Keelah se'lai." A ghost of a smile came back. She couldn't help but enjoy the bemused look on her customer's hidden face.

"Keelah se'lai."

A/N Howdy tar. Just a one-shot to pass the time, and finally get something posted. Got over 15k words in three open windows, and none of them are even halfway complete… Bah, oh well. This came out a lot lighter than I originally imagined. Of course, the first idea was with a Godmode!Dimensiontravelling!Sue I had envisioned, so it might be for the best. Although it still would have been slightly amusing. Anyways, I thought of who might be the best replacement, and eventually settled on Aethyta. Everyone trusts the barkeep, don't they?

Anyways, maybe I'll get something posted by the end of the week. But with work, plus ME3 demo multi, don't know how much I'll get done. But question. If you've played the demo multiplayer, and have used the quarian engineer, have you heard her shout Fus Ro Dah? Cuz I certainly have. Anywho, till next time!

Edited on 3/23/2012