That's Cheating

by InuShiek

After settling for something close to a truce, human and irken briefly discuss their differences and the future. (A short Zim/Dib thing I wrote a year or two ago. there's some groping and heavily implied things to be happening later, but I think this squeaks in with a T rating. If you disagree, I'll happily change it)

for your horrified viewing. fuck i can't believe this iohbjuvhyifutyr

Zim/Dib

(kinda nsfw…..a bit….) ijhjugkhiyfugty

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"Seriously….how is it that I haven't been able to stop you in all this time?" Dib blinks.

Gir is running in circles, carrying a pig around above his head and squealing something about soap while the human and alien sit on the couch.

Zim growls, antennae flattening against his head, "How is it that I haven't been able to conquer this planet in all this time?"

"Touche."

"Yes, yes. I win. I know," the Irken nods.

Dib gives a half-hearted punch to Zim's arm. "Shut up," he sighs, reaching up to pet the nearest antenna, "Hey, hasn't it been a while since you contacted your leaders?"

"My Tallest do not want to hear from me," Zim leans into the touch, "Despite evidence to the contrary, I am not stupid."

The two relax for a while, enjoying their Saturday afternoon.

"Do you…." Dib pauses, turning his head to look into Zim's large red eyes, "Do you miss your planet? I mean, if you're not going to conquer Earth anymore, will you go back to your own planet?"

The Irken remains silent for a while, petting one of his clawed hands along Dib's chest absently. "Perhaps one day," he begins, "But not for many more of your decades. I miss Irk, and the snacks, but…I think I would like to stay on this filthy mud-ball anyway."

"In 'many more decades,' you'll be old. Why stay that long?" Dib asks.

"Ah, silly stink-pig. I live much longer than your species. By your time I am over seventy, but considered young in my culture."

Dib startles, then laughs as he buries his face in Zim's thin chest, "Great. I'm dating an old man."

"And I am involved with a smeet, never mind that you are of a different species entirely."

"Yeah," Dib smiles, "Got to keep our priorities straight." The human laughs, only to choke ungracefully when Zim gropes his crotch.

"Yes, priorities. Perhaps we should have a philosophical debate over the implications of a cross-species relationship," he suggests seriously while he continues to fondle the blushing human. Zim uses his long tongue to lick the shell of Dib's ear, making him squirm, "We must be sure to take into account our priorities."

"That's cheating," Dib groans.