Title: The House by the River
Author: Silvergray
Rating: PG I think... wow o_o
Pairing: EdxLust
Summary: Lust is out of her element and waits for something she never dared to truly hope for. Part of my "Lustful Humanity" series, Part Four.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Fullmetal Alchemist.
Author's Note: This is my next segment of the "Lustful Humanity" series. I'm sorry to everyone that has been waiting so patiently for the next part of this to come out. I'm so grateful for everyone that has been sticking with this. I believe that there is going to be just one more part to this. It was awkward finding a good place to stop here, so I believe I did the best so that the next one flows better, even if this one is a little short. R&R everyone! ^_^
It went against her entire being. The most mind-boggling part was that deep down inside she realized how she shouldn't even be bothered by the idea of it but at the same time couldn't shake the unease and discomfort that clung to her nerves. She paced around the perfectly made bed and teased open the sheer curtain from the window. There was a lovely view of a yard; smooth cut grass slopping down past a small garden that had the small makings of a vegetable patch. Baby tomato plants swayed in the moonlit breeze. Past the garden the ground tilted up; the beginnings of one of the many hills that defined the landscape of the town. There was just enough light that she could even make out the twinkle of a slow moving river past the slopes. More than anything else, especially exploring the rest of the room that was to be hers, did she want to walk the shore of that river. She wanted to walk until the sun came up. Maybe even then she would still keep walking. It was very tempting... but then again, there was the curiosity boiling inside her. The curiosity definitely outweighed her old habits. At least for now, she would stay. The sound of footsteps in the doorway tore her attention away from the view.
The young Elric was standing there, leaning partially on the frame of the door. There was an air of forced confidence, but Lust could tell that a lot weighed on his mind.
"Hello," she purred.
The boy shifted slightly from foot to foot but then slipped into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't fully enter the room though, rather kept his distance by staying attached to the wall.
"I want you to know that I don't completely approve," Alphonse Elric said in a straightforward manner.
"Approve of what?" Lust considered the bed for a moment, feeling the bedspread before sitting on the edge. She crossed her legs in a grandiose display. The brunette boy didn't even bat a lash.
"Of what Brother is planning on doing. And to be honest, his extreme fascination with you." The last bit actually caught the homunculus off guard. Of course she was used to men's fascinations with her, but she felt that this time she actually cared. It was a very unfamiliar feeling. Alphonse didn't give her anytime to really digest the information before he continued though.
"He likes to think he can hide things from me and I often let him keep thinking that, but I know about the two of you."
"And let me guess, you're worried that your brother is going to fall into my traps. That I'm going to eat him alive."
"Not necessarily... I'm just not entirely swayed yet in the idea that you're not just using him. You want to be human, right?"
"Yes. More than anything," she replied without hesitation. "That's why I was helping you and your brother get the philosopher's stone."
"But why? Why would you go against the others? Envy? Sloth?"
"You wouldn't understand. You don't know what it's like!" she shouted as she jumped off the bed and faced him. Her fingernails extended threateningly but Al only briefly glanced at them before pushing himself off the wall.
"I know what it's like to not be human if that's what you're getting at."
There was a thick silence in the room as the two stared each other down. Al broke the eye contact first and dropped his head.
"Do you care for my brother?"
"It's not that easy Alphonse Elric."
"You know Lust, the worst problem I have with you isn't your desire to be human. If anything I can understand that better than most people and you know that too. I just don't want you thinking you have the right to toy with Ed's heart. If I found out you were doing that I would destroy you." There was a fierce edge in his words that intrigued the black-haired woman.
"And what if he gave me his heart Alphonse? What would you do then?"
"It would depend on what you were planning on doing with it."
"What if I was trading it?" A sad smile played on her lips.
"I find that hard to believe, but if a situation like that were to occur, then I guess I would have to find a way to like you." With that the younger alchemist turned around and excused himself from the room. Lust lingered for a while, eventually going back to the window to watch the night from her perch. She sat and pondered the unfathomable depth of the two Elric brothers.
"How interesting..."
_,.-"~^~"-.,_
"She's not going to be here all the time. Think of it more like a home base than a home Al," Ed explained as he continued to slice chucks of meat for the stew and throw them into the pot heating on the stove.
"I still don't know. Having her coming and going... it's too much like a roommate I guess..."
"Al... you know this means a lot to me."
"... I know Brother."
"It's just-"
"You don't have to explain," Al interrupted. Ed turned his back to his dinner in progress to face the boy sitting at the small table. "You should know by now that I get it Ed. I understand what you're feeling without you even telling me."
"Yeah, you've always been able to do that."
"What I don't understand are your intentions."
Ed put down the butcher's knife and grabbed the dishtowel to wipe off his hands as he pulled out a seat right next to Al. He kept his eyes on the cloth between his hands as he chose his next words carefully. "It's not that easy Al..."
"Dammit Ed! I'm sick of people telling me that! We've never kept secrets from each other before. At least not important ones like these..."
Ed sighed heavily at the words and shifted himself back into the chair. It was a start but Al prodded harder. "I can tell that this is very important to you, please, just... just don't think that you have to do it all alone. I know you Brother."
"Heh, yeah."
"Then please."
"Alright," Ed agreed at he leaned on the table with his good arm. His automail started to pick at the edge of the wood. "I intend on turning Lust into a human."
"Why?"
"Because... because Al. I think I love her."
"I think you're in love with the idea of a person Edward."
"No Al," Ed sighed exasperatedly. He got up from the table and went back to his cooking. "It's true that when she was created, she was supposed to be someone else. A failed human transmutation. And so it's true that she isn't that woman. That she's the idea of that person. But she has her own experiences and thoughts. Doesn't that turn her into her own person?"
"... I guess you can argue that..."
"Well I am. If she isn't that woman that Scar's brother tried to bring back, then she must be someone else. It's that simple."
"But she still isn't human Ed. You keep calling her a person, but is she even that?"
"She doesn't have a human body, but neither did you Al. I don't think that should define a human completely."
Al sighed heavily before shaking his head. "Fine, I see what you mean."
"If I can give her a human body-"
"Can you?"
"... I believe I can," the blonde said as he threw in the last of the vegetables into the brew and washed his hands.
"Well then," Al started as he pushed himself away from the table and grabbed the stirring spoon off the counter, "when do we start?"
_,.-"~^~"-.,_
Lust tried to watch the boys quite closely the next few days. It was always from afar though. Every time she would stroll into a room when the two of them were together the younger would always completely ignore her. The elder would glance at her briefly. His eyes would speak volumes but he would never say a word to her in front of the other. Lust didn't really mind; she thoroughly enjoyed her alone time. Just like before this awkward fiasco. It was even better at night because the elder would come back from his trip through town completing his work for the Colonel and the two brothers would hole themselves up in the study and Lust wouldn't have to deal with the tension thrown from the younger. Lust knew what kind of alchemy they were covering. Knew it even better than they did really, due to some cruel understanding of the practice without being able to actually perform it herself. However, when she would attempt to interrupt the two with some knowledge, that same tension arose. So to spare her sanity and patience, Lust decided to wait it out after the first night. She had no doubt that Edward could figure it out on his own. He was in fact extremely close already. Therefore she left the two boys alone to their work. In the thick slip of darkness she would wander. The hills led to mountains and the river lead to other towns. She would always come back of course, but that didn't stop her from walking as far as she could until the sun started to tint the sky again.
On the third night of her unusual house stay she didn't go far. She just sat by the river and watched the stars. Watched the stars and thought about her past.
There were two pasts to her being. There was the sin. Lust. The entity that was wholly lust itself. There were the acts she performed out of necessity; sexual encounters given and stolen solely to satisfy her core. To ebb the constant sting of desire that was her everything. There were the acts that came out of desire as well. These weren't in themselves acts of desire. No, not like the ones that were her namesake. These were things she did out of her heart's secret wishes. Things that were grown like fungi in the pitch black corridors of her heart. Like her wish to become human. Things like sabotage, deceit, and murder were all necessary means to an end that Lust harbored inside of her.
Harbored inside, almost like the second past to her being. There was That Woman. Lust didn't know her name. But sometimes, maybe after a carnal satisfaction, or mayhaps even at seemingly random times, she would have these... memories. They weren't hers. No, definitely not. She couldn't remember doing any of the things that were in her head. She couldn't remember sleeping pressed up against a dark-skinned man in the dead of night, hearing him whisper sweet nothings into the shell of her ear. She couldn't remember watching her family be torn apart from the war that was a constant deathbell tolling in the streets. She couldn't remember kissing the same man in the rain like she had always imagined growing up as a girl. And she couldn't remember kissing him on her deathbed; the darkness seeping into her inch by inch, lulling her away from him. Lust couldn't remember doing or feeling any of these things, but those memories were there. There inside those same dark corridors where all the most painful things were kept.
It was most of all this second past inside of her that fueled her actions. Those haunting nothings that drove into her the idea that she was Not Someone. Lust wanted to be human more than anything else to escape that very notion. But could she be someone? Could she ever be someone else when she was a failure to be Someone? That madness was what forced her to ask the Fullmetal Alchemist for help. The other sins hadn't known her secret wishes until she confided them in the young boy. They were upset, but they saw no real threat in her trying. They didn't believe that the boy would actually agree to the notion. To be honest, she didn't really either. The others wrote her off as a lost cause. Well, look where that got them. Look where her persistance got her. Sitting on a riverbank, looking at the stars but no longer seeing them as she lost herself in thought and memory.
If she sat just still enough she could watch them move. It made her feel very small. That smallness started to crush her, break her, and rip her apart before too long. Standing up and brushing herself off, Lust decided to walk back to the house. When she got close enough, her uncanny eyesight picked up the outline of a figure sitting on the porch. As she got closer, the one orange light granted more and more detail until she could perfectly see Edward Elric from her place in the shadows. He was perched on the edge of the steps; legs thrown over the side and forearms resting on his thighs as he studied the ground intently. His brother was nowhere to be seen.
"It's unusually cool tonight. Isn't it?"
The blonde alchemist started from the sudden intrusion. He had to focus his eyes for a second before Lust finally got close enough for him to see. When he saw who it was he dropped his head back down.
"I guess so."
The homunculus sat herself down next to him on the porch. It was such a casual move that Ed didn't really know how to react to it. He caught himself briefly wondering what the woman Scar's brother had tried to bring had been like. The curiosity held little weight and was gone before it really came.
"What are you doing out here?" she broke the stillness with.
"I was just getting some fresh air."
"Oh, I see."
Ed glanced over but Lust kept looking out into the night. He dropped his head again.
"I figured you would be far away from here by now."
"Not tonight."
The alchemist stood up slowly, stretching as he went. He stood there for a while without saying anything, but Lust had the feeling that there was something that he wanted to say, so she waited silently. She was right.
"I guess if you're here, then we can do this thing tonight then."
She whipped her head around abruptly. "What?"
"I believe everything's done. I mean, you can look over everything but I think I finally got the matrix right. Al's finishing up right now."
She stood up, holding his attention firmly in her boiling eyes. "You're not joking."
"No. I'm not."
"I... I don't understand."
"Understand what?" His voice dropped until it was barely audible. "Why I would do it?"
"Yes." Her own voice was thick. Thick and dripping with emotion. It only held more proof for what Edward had been hypothesizing.
"I think we both know the answer to that one Lust."
"Ahem!"
The pair spun towards the entranceway where a slightly disheveled Alphonse stood. There was chalk-dust on the knees of his slacks and the palms of his hands were reddened from working on them.
"I believe it's time."