The Girls in my Life
I've loved and been loved by each girl in this team. And I'm not talking about that crazy spell three years ago. Wow, to think that this *loser* has such a good collection: nice, bad, weird, crazy, bitchy... but all of them beautiful.
First of all Buffy. I fell for her since the first time. She says she loves me as a friend. I know she does. But who says she hadn't ever felt something more towards me. After all, I was always at her side, completely devoted to her. If only Angel had never appeared in her way... then maybe... just maybe.
Then Willow. My best friend. Such a nice girl... nice, shy, friendly Willow. My best buddy. That she was till the day in her room. But when I saw her in that dress I realized something I hadn't even thought about: She was beautiful, a goddess. I don't really know how but then we were sneaking around for a kiss. Bad, bad Xander. But I liked it. She was sweetness and fire, all in one. How could I let her go? But then the worst happened...
I hurt her. I know I did; though I'm still not so sure if it was her heart or her pride which I broke. I loved Cordy, with an immature love maybe; but I know she *was* important for me. And meanwhile, she loved to hate me. Sometimes I wonder if she ever loved me and then I remember that Valentine's Day. First she insulted my present and then gave it back without a thought. She had it in her locker for God's sake! I still don't know how we were together for so long. I guess the hours in a closet are the answer. No matter how much I loved her ours was a physical relationship in which we tried to feel something for the other.
Which brings me to Anya. I love her. She may be an ex vengeance demon, but I guess a mantis-woman and a crazy Slayer aren't *that* normal. She had witnessed many horrors and caused them, too. She have been the owner of a great power but as an human she is only my girlfriend: selfish but still helping, blunt but always honest (for good or worse...) Sometimes she reminds me of Cordy (Something I better *never* say aloud) But she's much more: she loves me. I'm sure of it. She loves me and that's why I love her too.
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